Can I just tell you that I've been wanting to make this for the longest time.  I have finally gone and made it but I feel a little guilty.  I feel guilty a lot.  I think it's partly because of my strict religious upbringing (not a bad thing at all people) and the other part... damned if I know.  I'm learning to live with my guilt.
Today I feel guilty because I have exactly two pears, three apples and a pint of cranberries that need my attention.  I just don't feel inspired to do anything with them just yet.  Maybe I should just suck it up and boil them all together and call it a day... Hey, that's not a half bad idea.  I haven't got a clue how that would turn out  - cranberry/pear/apple jam???  Either way... guilt aside... I just had to make this.  Now that I'm older I'm learning to deal with my guilt by
a) Accepting it and realizing that it's a part of what makes me wonderful... and weird.
b) Completely pushing it out of my mind by way of chocolate and cocoa and espresso powder mixed with sugar and eggs.

random shot by kid #2... still life feet

I know that I've been inundating you with all things chocolate and I promise that I'll start to smarten up very soon (although I've got this other brownie recipe that I've just got to try soon too - ack).  The appeal for me is the comfort food factor.  I don't know if I would serve this to guests.  I'm not saying that I wouldn't, I'm just not sure.  It doesn't have that wow factor that dinner guests might be expecting.  It seems and little too simple and rustic.  But jeez does it taste good.  Like amazing.  Here's a wonderful example of how wonderful this is.
I was going to take a slice of this with me to work today.  I decided not to because
a)  I don't really want anyone at work to know about it. (I'm sure that I don't need to explain)
b)  If I saved the experience for when I got home from work in the afternoon, well, the afternoon would just be that much sweeter.
c)  The mere possibility that the slice might get damaged at all being transported in my back pack was unthinkable.
The moral of my story is:  If you're feeling guilty about something... anything and you want to completely forget about the guilt and just get on with your life (guilt shoved far far away) then you've found your answer.
Thank me later.


Double Chocolate Loaf adapted from 'Baked Explorations'

3/4 cup dark brown sugar
1 cup dark unsweetened cocoa powder
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
3/4 cup sugar
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
3/4 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
2 tsp instant espresso powder
2 lg eggs
1 lg egg yolk
3/4 cup buttermilk
1/2 vegetable oil
1 tsp vanilla
8 oz dark chocolate (60 - 72%) coarsely chopped

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F
Grease and flour a 9x5 loaf pan (yeah, I measured mine just to make sure)
Place the brown sugar into a mixer bowl.  Sift in the cocoa and flour.  Add in the sugar, baking soda, baking powder, salt and espresso powder.  Mix everything just until it's combined at the bottom of the bowl.
In another bowl mix together the eggs and egg yolk until blended.  Add the buttermilk, vegetable oil and vanilla.  Mix just until combined.
Begin mixing the dry ingredients and slowly adding the wet ingredients.  Mix until just combined.  Fold in the chocolate chunks.
Pour the mixture into the prepared pan.
Bake for 1 hr - 1 hr 10 min (mine was good after an hour).
Cool about 10 minutes in the pan and then remove to a cooling rack.