This is my life... and I'm here, in it, living it.
I read a post recently in which the writer put something like that out there into cyber space.  Do we ever think about it?  Seriously?  Of course it's sobering to think that I've got stuff to do and each day that goes by will never come back again.  But the scariest (and therefor most motivating) thought is that even when I'm not consciously making a decision about how I'm going to live my life, I'm still deciding how I'm going to live it.  Yeah.  Yikes.  In other words it doesn't matter if I put off deciding anything, it doesn't matter if I label it procrastinating.  I'm still deciding.  Creepy.


I'm thinking a lot about this lately because I have an 11 yr old.  Now it's not that I feel old having a pre-teen or anything like that.  It's the child herself.  We've had a lot of 'talks' lately with her.  We are essentially telling her the same thing that I just wrote one paragraph ago.  It's a huge thing, this life we are given, and it's short.  Incredibly short.  And before you know it 10 years have slipped by and you want to be able to see what you've accomplished in that time.  I want for my kids to be able to look back and feel proud and have a deep sense of accomplishment in whatever they choose to do.  I guess I'm saying that I want them to do their thing (everything that they decide is 'their thing') with everything they've got.
What I see a lot is that kids get rewarded when they do a good job.  With school, sports, music... whatever.  Nothing wrong with getting a prize.  Prizes are cool.  But sometimes I think we overdo it with the prize and rewarding thing.  When that happens it can get pretty easy to forget how damn great it feels to do something well.  You know you worked hard.  You know that you did it really well and other people have recognized that too.  It feels effing amazing... whether or not I get a present afterwards.  That feeling, that amazing feeling can motivate somebody to move on to bigger, better and hopefully deeper, more meaningful things.  Those are the accomplishments that I value at this point in my life and I'm pretty sure that those are the accomplishments that my kids will value later as well.  The only problem is how to communicate that to an 11 yr old kid.  And I would guess that's how we all fall into the 'present trap'.
However, I figure that my kids are going to blame me on way or another so I would rather that they blame me for pushing them too hard rather than not hard enough.  If that makes me a tiger mom (although I hardly think so) then I'm big enough to handle it.  I'll take the chance.


This bread turned out much better than I had hoped because I really did take some liberties with the recipe.  If I make it again (and I might just) I would go free form and make a dome shape instead of a loaf.


White and Whole Wheat Bread adapted from 'Kitchen Simplicity'
makes 1 large loaf (that I really should have done free form but didn't)

Combine:
2 1/4 tsp yeast
1 1/2 cups warm water
3 tbsp honey
2 1/2 cups all purpose flour

Mix and set aside in a draft free spot for about 30 minutes.  It will get all bubbly and spongy.
After 30 minutes add in:

1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
3 tbsp brown sugar (not packed)
1 tsp salt

Mix well and turn out onto a lightly floured surface.  Knead until just smooth and no longer totally sticky.  I needed to add about a 1/4 or so more flour while kneading.  Place the dough in a lightly floured bowl, cover with a clean cloth and set aside to rise in a draft free spot for about 1 hr or until doubled in size.
Punch down and shape into a loaf.  Place in a very large, lightly greased loaf pan (VERY) or instead you could reform the dough into a blob shape and place on a lightly greased cookie sheet.  Cover with the cloth again and set aside to rise in a draft free spot for another hour or until doubled in size.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Bake the bread for about 35 minutes or until the bottom is nicely browned and sounds hollow when you knock on the bottom.
Cool slightly and enjoy.