I'm getting the soap box out.
I'm getting up on the soap box... steady... and up.
And now...

D went to a birthday party recently.  The party was for a former church friend.  I haven't seen this person in a long time.  We used to do service music together.  D happened to be in the area and decided to swing by and catch up a bit.  In talking, I came up and D got them up to speed on what I've been up to.  Upon hearing what's been happening for me lately at home and at work our friend replied that my success is a sign of God's favour.
D told me about the conversation and to be honest I didn't think anything much about it at first.  However, after a couple of days passed I began to get mad.  After another day or two passed I got even angrier.  Now don't get me wrong, I totally understand where that statement came from and that it was intended as a positive thing rather than negative.  So what was it exactly that had my blood boiling.
Here it is - by telling me that where I've gotten to and my successes are God's favour it feels like my own efforts had nothing to do with it.  To be honest, it felt like an insult and trivialisation of the blood, sweat and tears that have brought me to this place in my life.
Labouring through years of an undergrad degree, broke and struggling the entire time.
Working dumb jobs until I stumbled on this one, which I love.  Working like crazy to make that job my own.  Mothering two children while working.  Learning the game of politics and not being afraid to play it.  Look, anyone whose gotten anywhere in their life has worked hard. Damn hard.  If that's what one might call the favour of God then I certainly don't see it.  If the favour of God takes that much toil on my part then I'd hate to see the opposite.   As I've gotten older I've learned to see opportunities for what they are and take the best advantage of them that I can.  It's called growing up and getting smart.  When someone gives takes my hard-earned contentment and puts it in someone else's name it feels like it's been stolen.  So in short I think it's bull and it makes me seethe to think that someone would credit God with all my hard work.
And... down I get from the soap box.


This, as you may have guessed by now, has nothing to do with bread.  It's just that while spending a little quiet time kneading this bread my brain had a chance to put all of this together.  I love Red Fife flour.  It's a beautiful thing.  I got mine from local granaries but I'm told that it's also available at the Bulk Barn here in Canada.  If you find it please pick it up and give it a try.  If you don't have red fife flour then by all means substitute away - try rye or pumpernickel or... whatever.  This bread worked out really nicely.  I thought it tasted good.  Quite good.  So if you find some Red fife flour and you've got a few minutes to knead some dough and work out some issues then go for it.  Give this stuff a try.  You won't be sorry.


Multigrain Red Fife Bread  adapted from King Arthur Flour
makes 1 loaf

1 1/3 cups warm water
2 tsp active dry yeast
2 tsp brown sugar
2 cups all purpose flour
3/4 cup whole wheat flour
3/4 cup red fife flour (or a combination of cornmeal and pumpernickel flour)
2 tsp salt
1/4 cup  - less 2 tsp - brown sugar
1/4 cup dry milk powder

Combine the warm water, dry yeast and 2 tsp's of the brown sugar together and set aside in a draft free spot for 10 minutes to proof.  The mixture should have doubled in size and be bubbly and foamy.
Combine the flour's, salt, the rest of the brown sugar and dry milk powder.
Add the yeast mixture to the flour.  Stir until it forms enough to turn out onto a very lightly floured surface and knead for 8 - 10 minutes or until the dough is smooth almost silky.
Place the dough into a buttered stainless steel bowl.
Cover with a clean cloth and place in a warm, draft free spot for about 1 hour or until doubled in size.
Reshape the dough into a loaf and place in a greased loaf pan.  Cover with a clean cloth and set in a warm, draft free spot to rise for about 1 1/2 hours or until the dough has risen about 1 inch over the rim of the loaf pan.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Brush the top of the loaf with a little melted butter if desired.
Bake for 35 minutes or until the loaf is golden brown on the top and you can knock on it and it sounds hollow on the inside.