I've started watching this show called 'Luther'.  It's a BBC show.  As you might have read in earlier posts, I've stopped watching a whole lot of tv.  I've got netflix and I don't mind paying for my tv if I really want to watch something.  Otherwise, cable tv at the moment is just not giving me what I'm looking for.  Now the BBC is something completely different.  If that's what tax supported tv is all about then I'm in.  All in. 100%.  It's a good think that I don't live in the UK because I'm 90% sure I would get pretty much nothing done other than keeping my couch company while I watched tv.
Either way, Luther is about a dude... ack, I'm not going to get into the whole thing now.  You can look it up.  I'm blown away.  It's providing me with all kinds of teachable moments.  Deep thoughts.  Words to ponder.  I don't really know if it's meant to do that or if it's just where I am in life that is causing some things to resonate deeply for me.  In the last episode of season 1 (which I just finished) Alice, this brilliant sociopath/friend of Luther's, rhyme's off the finding of some or other study that she has read about which kind of blew me away.

Three self delusions most people hold to:
1. Implausibly positive view of themselves.
2. That the future will be better for them than evidence of the present can possibly justify.
3. That they have far more control over their lives than they really do.

Number 3 was profound for me.  Number 2 wasn't far behind but Number 3 was the front runner.  I started thinking about what would happen if we all stopped trying so hard to control our lives.  To gain more control, to feel in control.  In fact, one of the major goals in life for me up to know would have to be gaining control.  It's a big part of what defines me - probably all of us.  But what if it's a delusion or a facade.  When you think about it, the things that we do to 'gain control' really just isolate us.  The only way that we could be truly in control would be to live in a vacuum.  What would happen if we accepted that a whole lot of things were beyond our control and just lived our life without the worry.
I know that the whole thing seems kind of bleak but I'm not going for a defeatest kind of thing here.  The opposite is what's in my head.  Something liberating.  Something that doesn't confine me to searching for this illusive 'control' thing.  That frees me to just 'be'.  After reading this book about how seeking to 'control' our food supply and therefor moving from a hunter/gatherer society to an agrarian one has had permanent and damaging effects on our DNA or psyche and our environment, I'm completely willing to believe that 'control' is just an illusion.  However, unlike the brilliant,sociopathic and paper-created 'Alice', I have a full life with kids and jobs and stuff and it's getting in the way of me lying in the grass to think at the moment.  This conversation is going to be rolling around in my head for quite a while...


It's spring and in spring ferns start to grow and if you are a heartless forager then you pick those fern strands before they have a chance to become something inedible.  They taste amazing and probably make you DNA correct itself or something but they taste great so who cares.  Just be warned that when you eat a lot of asparagus your pee really smells weird.  So if you pee and you think that maybe you've come down with some terrible disease because the smell is so overwhelmingly weird and disturbing then just ask yourself if just maybe you had some asparagus say about 2 hrs or so before that.  If so... don't worry, You're Fine.


Asparagus and Fiddle Head Pasta adapted from 'Simply in Season'
serves 4 - 6

4 cups fiddle heads (any brown parts of the stems removed)
3 cups asparagus (bottoms removed and then cut into 1 1/2 inch sections)
1/2 cup onion
3 tbsp fresh lemon juice
3/4 cup milk (I mixed regular milk and some cream together)
2 eggs
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 cup parmesan cheese, shredded
5 cups pasta (I used penne - rigatoni would be nice too) cooked al dente, drained and set aside
1/2 cup reserved pasta water

Heat a largish pot over medium heat, add a little oil.  Add in the onion, the asparagus and fiddleheads.  Turn the heat down just a little.  Stir regularly so that it doesn't burn and turn down the heat if necessary.  The asparagus and fiddleheads should sear just a bit.  This should take about 7 - 10 minutes.
In a bowl mix together the eggs and milk using a whisk until the eggs are completely mixed into the milk.  Add the lemon juice and salt to the milk mixture.
Once the asparagus/fiddleheads mixture is seared sufficiently turn the heat down to low and add in the milk/egg mixture.  Stir well.  Allow the mixture to heat for another 5 minutes or so.  Do not let the mixture come to a boil.  Add in the parmesan cheese and let the sauce heat for another few minutes to let the cheese melt.
Once the cheese has melted add the cooked pasta and toss with the sauce.  Add in the reserved pasta water just until the sauce get to the consistency that you are happy with.
Serve immediately.  Sprinkle with a little more parmesan and/or chili flakes if you choose.