In my post-school meandering I've spent a lot of time just sitting.  Getting my toenails painted...


reading, sending emails, Facebooking, you know... that kind of thing.  In my Facebook perusing I came across this article that one of my friends shared.
The article is by a contributor to the New York Times.  It's been all over Facebook and god knows what else.  It's called 'The Busy Trap'.  I loved it.  It hit home.  We've all had those friends... you know the ones who have to book you in.  The ones that say 'Yeah, definitely.  Once things slow down then we'll book something' when you ask them to get together.  We've probably all been those people at some time or other.  The thing is that I had just just read this post by one of my favourite bloggers.  Chandelle is writing about summer and simplicity and how she and her partner consciously chose to live differently, not as an experiment... but permanently.


When I was younger I would sometimes feel like something inside me was going to burst - in a good way.  Like there was all kinds of creativity in there, all damned up for some reason or other that I could never figure out.  I wanted to let it out.  I tried.  I felt frustrated.  I tried again.  I looked for support or belief or whatever you might call it from others.  I felt frustrated.  And then time happens.  Marches on or whatever the hell we say.  Stuff happens that distracts you and covers up all that 'feeling of bursting'. Stuff accumulates and before you know it you're surrounded.  By people.  By stuff.  By a job.  By multiple roles.  By all of these things competing for first priority.  At least that's how it's been for me.  I've talked things through so much with D (because he's kinda in the same boat as I am) and looked for reasons or causes or blame or whatever but the bottom line is that all of that creativity/thought/idea just isn't there... it's all cloudy.
After reading these two articles I've started to wonder if I haven't had it completely backwards.  What if the only reason that all that stuff never got out wasn't because of something that I did wrong or someone else did wrong to me but because of something that I didn't do.  I had lots of time to sit and stew when I was in university.  I had no tv.  I didn't really listen to the radio.  I remember times when my busy friends were all busy and I had no work and would just sit on my couch.  Occasionally, something amazing would happen like a great poem or awesome wedding vows or a kicking vocal lick but mostly I just sat there and felt sorry for myself because I wasn't busy like my friends were.
Now I find myself wishing for that time again... and more.  Who knows what could have been with more time like that.  Who knows what kind of person I would be with more of that time - idle, nothing, wasted (not) time.  What would it turn me into.  I fully intend to do my best to find out this summer.
This of course has absolutely nothing to do with Cauliflower risotto.


Cauliflower Risotto Bianco adapted from 'Vegetarian' by Alice Hart

4 1/2 cup vegetable stock
1 vegetable boullion cube
4 cups cauliflower broken into bite sized florets
2 tbsp butter
1/2 cup garlic scapes, chopped (optional: use 2 cloves crushed garlic)
1 1/2 cups arborio rice
generous 1/2 cup parmesan cheese freshly grated
1/2 cup cream
salt to taste

Steam the cauliflower for about 7 minutes or until just starting to soften.  Set aside.
Heat the vegetable stock and boullion cube together until almost simmering.
Heat a heavy bottomed sauce pan over med/low heat and  add the butter.  Once the butter is melted add in the garlics scapes or garlic and cook for just a minute.  Add in the arborio rice and stir until the rice is coated.
Begin to add in the vegetable stock one ladleful at a time, stirring constantly and making sure that the mixture doesn't stop simmering.  You want to add in another ladle of stock once the liquid gets low but not low enough for the rice to stick to the bottom of the pan.  Continue for about 20 minutes or so.  The rice should be soft and not look more white in the middle - ie.  all one colour.  Turn the heat down to low.
Add in the parmesan cheese and the cream.  Stir well and check the taste.  Add salt if necessary.
Add in the cooked cauliflower.  Stir and serve.