I kicked things off well by declaring that I was on a mission to cut down on sugar.  There are lots of reasons but health, energy and vitality are right at the top of the list.  But it seems that in the midst of my sugar cut down a lot of other things have been going on and it feels like I haven't really been cooking at all.
A close family member is terminally ill and we are all... waiting.  It's a very very sad time.  We are all feeling it.  How can you not.  We are each dealing with it in our own ways.  My daughter likes to just sit beside his bed and hold his hand.  She cries.  It's a beautiful, sad picture.  So many things occur to you when you are in that place - that space in your head.  Here are some of the things that have been rolling around:
The moments feel so large and long.  Like they last forever... yet it's only been an hour.
Here, at the end of it all, it's still hard to imagine that we will soon be without this person.  Through illness, pain and however dreadful things are at the moment it's still damn near impossible to think of the world without them.
It doesn't matter how perfectly I can rationalize the beauty of the circle of life or what my religious beliefs might be regarding the afterlife.  There is still the sadness of loss.  No matter what happens later on the fact remains that for now they are no longer here with us.
Even watching someone else slowly pass from life to death doesn't make it any easier to comprehend your own mortality.  Nope.  Not at all.

Kid #1 and I had a beautiful conversation about the trees and how beautiful they are looking.  We were noting what a beautiful, blow out ending the leaves give before they go.  It's like their swan song - those beautiful colours....

Kid #1... and then they drop and die.
Me... Well, not die really.  They change.  They become something other than a leaf but they still have an existence and in becoming that compost they feed new life.


I've made chicken pot pie.  There is something in the tradition and simplicity of it that appeals to me at the moment.  If you are wondering what to do with a leftover chicken carcass take my word for it and boil it down with some peppercorns, a bay leaf, a dash of Worcestershire, salt... boil it down for a good long time - an hour like.  Remove the bones but make sure that you take all the little pieces of chicken off first.  I got enough meat off of that (including the neck, liver, kidney and all of that) to make a fully decent pot pie once the veggies were added.  It's comfort food that reminds you of your Granny or Great Granny.  You feel all loved and warm inside... and possibly a little lonesome.


Red Fife Pie Crust adapted only slightly from 'Simply in Season'
makes enough for about 2 - 3 pies (depending on the size of your baking dish)

2 cups all purpose flour
1 cup red fife or whole wheat flour
1 tsp salt
1 cup unsalted butter, cold and cubed
1 egg
1/4 cup cold water
1 tsp apple cider vinegar

Combine the egg, water and apple cider vinegar together in a small bowl and set aside in the fridge to keep it cold.
Combine the flours and salt.  Drop in the butter and cut the butter into the flour (use a pastry cutter or two knives or even your fingers  - squish the butter pieces, don't use your fingers for long though because it will warm the butter which is not what you want to have happen) and continue until it looks like crumbly, pea sized pieces.
Add the egg and water mixture until it forms a ball (I used all of mine).  If you need a little more than add more cold water.  Cover the dough ball in plastic and rest it in the fridge for about 20 - 30 minutes.
Turn out onto a lightly floured surface - I divided mine in half here, you could make 3 pieces if it suites your sizes better.  Or you can freeze some for a later date.
Roll out with a rolling pin until it's between 1/4 and 1/8 of an inch thick.
Gently fold the pie crust in half and then once again so that it's easier to place on the pie...

Chicken Pot Pie

2 cups potato, cut into chunks
1 1/2 cups carrot, cut into chunks
1 leek, thinly sliced
1 cup green beans
1 cup mushrooms, quartered
3 cloves garlic, crushed
3 tbsp butter or oil
3 - 4 cups leftover chicken (diced) in it's broth or gravy
1 boullion cube
1 tsp salt
1 tsp honey
1 tsp pepper sauce
1/4 cup all purpose flour

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
Get a large baking dish (I used a large 9x13'ish' oval one) out and set aside.
Heat a heavy bottomed pot (big enough to fit everything) over medium heat.  Add in the butter and then the veggies.  Cook the veggies together for about 10 minutes or until the potatoes begin to soften.  Add in the chicken with liquid, bouillon cube, salt, honey and pepper sauce.  Cook together for another 10 minutes.  Add in the flour and stir to mix.  If it's not thick enough then feel free to add in a little more flour.
Pour into the baking dish.
Cover with the pie crust.  Press down gently and let the crust run up the sides of the pot a bit.
Bake for about 20 minutes or until the crust is turning golden brown on the edges.
Cool for a good 15 minutes before cutting into it and serving.