Getting away from 'life' for a couple of weeks can be a good thing.  As with all good things, too much of it can be a bad thing.  Two weeks is just about right when it comes to a good thing.  One of the many good things that happened was that I didn't worry about home once.  Not once.
It could be argued that I compartmentalize way too much and/or simply shut down too easily.  That could be true.
You might guess that not being concerned about how things are going at home is just negligent and selfish.
You might even wonder just how any parent could be so callous.
The truth is that I completely trust D and Kid #1 and 2.  Absolutely and inherently.  Entirely and deeply.  I never doubted for a moment that everyone would be quite all right there without me.  And I was exactly right.  They were fine.  They were more than fine in fact.  I think that they might have even done better without me around than with.  The truth is that sometimes two parent households can get really complicated.
It's something I experience every time D goes away for any length of time.  You find yourself getting into a routine where you are totally in charge of the schedule and how things go.  You know that it's all resting on you and so you tackle it with vigour and get it figured out.  If things need to be accommodated then you get in there and do it.  You know that you are the only one who is going to do it.  Once the other parent gets involved things become a multiple juggling game.  Now we have to figure things out individually and together.  Another layer of complication/schedule has been added to the 'stuff' pile.  I think that me being the person leaving this time around has been good all around.
When I got back D told me that things went so well he would like it if I backed away from things a little and gave him more room to be involved.  Now that is cool.  Super cool.  And really hard because being a superMom gets hammered into our brains from an early age as does the belief that men can't really do domestic anything.  So it means that I need to let go.  It means that I need to let things fall apart a little.  It means that I need to allow myself to have a social life and get out there more.  It's scary but I'm working on it.  The very next night I stayed at work and went out with a colleague for a drink.
I know that it's going to take some time to iron out the kinks.  I know that things won't go smoothly and that we'll have to hash out exactly what a new role means for me and for D but I'm glad that we're doing it.  I'm glad that we're not just taking it for granted that things are ok when they stay the same.    I'm glad that I've got some after work drinking time.


There is absolutely no tie in with these cookies.  None.  No matter what my role is or turns into I will always be making stuff like this.  Baking is important (even when your sweet tooth is all but non-existent... still), baking is boss and these cookies were fantastic.


Chocolate Cookies with Roasted Cherries and White Chocolate Chips adapted from Martha Stewart
makes about 2 1/2 doz medium sized cookies

1 cup flour
1/2 cup cocoa powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup unsalted butter
4 oz chocolate (I used about 55%)
2 eggs
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 cup cherries, roasted
1 cup white chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350°F
Line a cookie sheet with parchment or a silicon liner and set aside.
Combine the flour, cocoa powder, salt and baking powder together.  Set aside.
Using a double boiler (or just set a stainless steel bowl over a pot of lightly simmering water - don't let the bowl touch the water) melt together the chocolate and the butter.  Set aside to cool a little.
Whisk together (or use a mixer) the chocolate mixture with the eggs and sugar until it's lightly and almost fluffy.
Add in the flour mixture and continue to whisk (or mixer) just until everything is combined.
Add in the white chocolate chips and mix well.
Gently fold in the cherries.
Drop a 1 - 2 tbsp amount of dough onto the baking sheet until it's full.
Bake for about 12 minutes or until just beginning to crack on the top.
Remove from oven and carefully remove from pan to cool on a rack.

To roast the cherries:
Preheat oven to 325°F.
Place cherries on a baking sheet and drizzle with 1 - 2 tbsp of vanilla or rum.
Roast for about 20 - 25 minutes or until the cherries are nicely darkened but not burnt or crispy.
Remove the cherries and cool.