There are times in your life when you just need chocolate.
(Disclaimer: Some serious self-congratulation is about to ensue)
Today was one of those days.  In fact, the whole weekend was 'one of those days'.  It started on Saturday.  Kid #1 was having a birthday party (her birthday is at the very end of December - like the 31st of - which is not a good day to celebrate anything other than the end of one year and the beginning of another) with 3 friends.  They were coming over to take over the main floor of our house - watch movies, make pizza and have some space to themselves.  That's all good.  I made sure that before anyone arrived I had finished my workout for the day, gotten breakfast done with, made pizza dough, gotten the tomato sauce ready and had the house in order.  D, Kid #2 and I then made a quick getaway out of the house until the early evening.


Today I was having some serious cravings for a house all to myself.  A place to curl up and read or look outside and think, to experience some quiet and calm.  What I got was making fresh waffles for the girls (one of the party attendees slept over) and kid #2.  Making bread (recipe to follow very soon). Have 3 kids play nerf gun through my house.  Getting a run in (8k today, thank jeebus for sunshine and bearable temperatures) and then... going to have a leisurely and quiet lunch with KT... oops scratch that... dealing with Kid #1 who is getting frantic because her afternoon mall date with a friend is not happening.  Wait, she's not sure because they talked about it last Monday and it was happening.  Wait, I'm sure she'll be here any second.  Wait - Ahhhhh, WHY ISN'T SHE HERE.  Wait.  I don't have her phone number because we only email.  WHY DOESN'T SHE EMAIL ME BACK.
So what happened is I ran out the door stuff two still slightly warm cookies into my mouth just for the endorphin rush.  I arrived at my lunch late and frustrated (thank you for my long suffering best friend who takes me at my worst).  Was joined about 1 hr later by Kid #1 so that she and I could wander around the mall together.  I love my kid immensely but I have to admit that my idea of quality time with her does not consist of wandering around a store, let alone a store that calls itself 'Forever21'.  Because my kid got stood up, I decided to be the adult and help her feel better.  It worked for her but I came home feeling slightly nauseous, very tired and entirely frustrated.  The worst part is that I didn't even get to fully enjoy those two, still warm, cookies.  These cookies deserve to be savoured and not stuffed down your gullet so that you can get a quick 'happy' rush.  So with an evening tea I decided to enjoy two more of those cookies.  I savoured and closed my eyes and pretended that the house was mine.  I pretended that if I opened my eyes that the toy area would tranform into a lovely office space and that if I so desired, I could lie down on my couch and watch a movie of MY choosing.  The cookies helped me go there.


If you've ever wondered if whole wheat and chocolate might work in a cookie together, wonder no more.  They do.  This cookie had none of the 'granola' feel that I would have expected from something whole wheat.  I would highly recommend the cocoa nibs.  I ordered mine online a couple of years ago and this is the first recipe where they've gotten some use.  They do add something tangible here.
Here's to long suffering best friends who walk around a mall with you even when it's the last thing they want to do too.  Here's to knowing that maybe the next weekend will be a little more 'Wanda-friendly'.  And... Here's to some serious chocolate cookies to help get you to next Friday.


Whole Wheat, Chocolate, Chocolate Chip Cookies adapted from 'Good to the Grain'
makes about 5 dozen medium/small sized cookies

1 cup unsalted butter
8 oz dark chocolate (about 70% cocoa solids), chopped
4 eggs
2 cups sugar
1 1/2 cups Red Fife or Whole Wheat flour
1/2 cup unbleached all purpose flour
1tbsp + 1 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp espresso powder
1/4 tsp cinnamon
8 oz dark chocolate, coarsely chopped or in chunks (or chips, or whatever - it doesn't really matter at this point)
Optional: Cocoa Nibs

Melt the butter and chopped dark chocolate together in the top of a double boiler over just simmering water.  Once melted and mixed together, remove from the double boiler and set aside to cool a little (about 10 minutes is what I did with mine - just cooled enough that the eggs won't cook once they're added).
Combine the flours, baking powder, salt, espresso powder and cinnamon together and set aside.
Using a mixer or by hand beat together the eggs and the sugar until they're light and frothy - like you want to whip them.  Continue whipping for about 3 minutes (or more if you are doing it by hand).  Scrape all, All, ALL of the melted chocolate mixture into the sugar and continue whipping until combined.
Add the flour mixture to the chocolate mixture and mix well until combined.
Add the dark chocolate chunks or chips and mix well.
Refrigerate for at least 2 hrs and up to 3 days.
Preheat oven to 350°F and line a cookie sheet with parchment or a silicon liner.
Scoop about 2 tbsp's worth of dough out and form into a ball.  Dip the top of the ball in the cocoa nibs (optional) and place on the cookie sheet.
Bake for about 16 - 20 minutes depending on your oven and your cookie preferences.  (I went for 16 or so because I wanted gooey cookies so a little undercooked in the middle was fine with me)

Assumptions.  We all have them.  I certainly do.  I assume a lot of things about another person based on how they look: dressed up, dressed down, athletic shoes, Vuitton bag, under 25yrs old with highlights and lowlights, track pants, ear encompassing headphones.  I think that you get the idea.  It's completely normal to make assumptions about the people around you.  It's how we relate, connect and how we make decisions in our mind about whether it might be someone we would like to be around or not.
However, I don't often think about the assumptions people make about me.  Truthfully, I don't even think of myself as someone noticeable.  And then I had a conversation recently with a neighbour and realized,to my surprise, that the assumptions are definitely there.  Of course they are there.  I know on an intellectual level that people will look at me or have a brief conversation with me and make assumptions based on my hair, my clothes and my accoutrements.  I know this but I don't know it.  In the same way I don't think of myself relative to how other women look at the same age.  I don't think of myself as someone who looks like they might have a tattoo.  I just have one.  So I realize quickly that although my neighbour and I don't know each other very well there are certain assumptions that she's made based on the stuff she knows.


She assumes that I don't eat junk food, like, ever.
Not True.
I eat junk food.  I do.  A lot.  I eat chips.  I love (I mean LOVE) wings and beer.  I don't eat stuff like candy or gummy bears because they make my stomach feel weird.  Not because I don't like them.
She assumes that I don't feed my kids anything but homemade.
Not True.
If Kid #2 could get 'cheesy noodles' (you know that awful stuff that comes from the famous box) everyday, he would be the happiest kid on earth.  I've reached a compromise I can live with by buying somewhat 'natural', organic stuff - still from a stupid box - and letting him have it for a treat once in a while (like once or twice a month).
She assumes that I eat 'healthy' and by healthy she's thinking 'low fat'.
Not True.
I eat fat.  I eat fat in the way of butter, cream, bacon, nuts and cheese.  I don't worry about fat at all.  In fact, I welcome it.  I like it.  I eat fat because it tastes really good and I believe that it's not necessarily the fat that's bad for me - especially those fats.
My neighbour was kind of surprised I guess.  If nothing else, she was somewhat better informed about the reality of my life.  I'm guessing she thought I was a '1 tbsp of olive... only, ever' kinda girl.  In addition, I hope that she's no longer beating herself up about not feeding enough vegetables to her kids or for pulling a box out of the freezer or cupboard once in a while.
I've tried and tried to think of a way to tie this together with the recipe I'm giving you.  It's taken a lot of time and effort but I think that I've found a way.  You see, when you roast a Sunday night chicken and you've made mashed potatoes and celery root, beautiful roasted carrots and parsnips with the chicken and then gorgeous gravy out of the drippings OR if you've hustled yourself home from work and maybe bought one of those roasted chickens from the deli and you want to have something tasty but also 'healthy' (i.e. veg) to go with that - and appease your guilt just a little - then this is the recipe for you.  What takes the longest is steaming the veg.  Everything else you've probably got lying around.  You can use whatever veg you've got, if it's root veg stuff then just make sure you've steamed it until it's just softening.  A little cream, a little cheese and some bread crumbs or crumbled crackers or chips or cereal and voila....


10 Minute Winter Vegetable Gratin loosely adapted from Martha Stewart

2 - 3 cups winter squash, peeled and cubed (about 1 inch cubes will do)
2 - 3 cups kale, chard or spinach, washed and chopped
2 - 3 cups broccoli or cauliflower florets, steamed until just al dente
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp nutmeg
3/4 cup cheddar, shredded (any shreddable cheese will do)
1/4 cup parmesan cheese, shredded
1/3 cup bread crumbs
1/2 - 3/4 cup cream (more if needed)

Preheat oven to 375°F.
Butter a baking dish and set aside.
Toss the cubed squash in some oil, melted butter or lard just until coated.  Place on a baking sheet and spread out evenly.  Bake for about 30 - 40 minutes or until the squash is browned on the outside and soft on the inside.  Remove from oven and set aside.  (This step can be done days ahead of time as well).
Toss together the vegetables in a bowl until mixed and pour into the baking dish.
Sprinkle with salt and nutmeg.  Sprinkle on the cheddar and then the parmesan.
Sprinkle the very top with the bread crumbs.
Add the cream just until it reaches about half the volume of the vegetables.
Bake uncovered for about 35 - 45 minutes or until golden brown on the top, bubbly and cheesy but not too wet underneath.
Cool for about 10 minutes before serving.

Baking requires something of you.  Yeah sure, it's soothing, it's not difficult, it's rewarding, for some it's demeaning but it's nothing if not demanding.  You can't serve two masters while you are baking unless you are willing to risk disaster.  There are those times when all the best laid plans and the most intense focus still don't yield something up to expectation.  Today was one of those days.
I intended to be showing you pictures of pumpkin bread today because it's been on my mind for a long time.  I've been delving into my new cookbook to get some further inspiration and I was seriously ready to go.  I'd cleared my time.  I'd prepared the squash ahead of time - roasted and mashed.  My baking tin was prepped.  The ingredients were ready.  This was going to be the thing.  The thing that my eyes and my taste buds have been waiting for.  I started.  Sure, I was adapting things but nothing drastic.  The muffin recipe was being adapted into a loaf recipe.  The changes were right there on the page.  Everything was primed to be perfect...
And then I turned on that Bollywood movie I'd started the day before.
Oh it was fantastic.  It was everything we've all come to expect from our favourite Bollywood offerings.  Extremely well built male whose shirt seems ready to slip off at the slightest breeze or splash of water.  Beautiful, innocent and yet absolutely alluring woman with straight dark hair and enticing eyes.  They dance.  There are costume changes.  Though they are drawn to each other there is so much keeping them apart.  Their love is sacred.  Through the many costume changes and flirtatious glances there's a love story that takes on religious zeal and often spans decades.  It's wonderful, magical, epic and mythical.  And it's not the best thing to have running when you are trying a new recipes that requires adapting and tweaking.  My bread went into the oven and the timer was set.  The timer went off and I even gave it more time.  I even used a cake tester to check that it was done but when I came back to the loaf about 10 minutes later to slice it and take some pictures I found that it had sunk quite drastically.  'I'm sure it's fine' I think getting distracted that once again some beautiful abs and biceps have escaped from the shirt they were hidden under on my tv screen.  I slice my loaf and immediately realize that what I expected to be a perfectly cooled loaf is really cooled pudding.  Complete goo.  It seems that the giggling and dancing, wire fighting (yes - there was that too), garden walks and attempted kidnapping all helped me completely forget that muffin baking time and loaf baking time might be a tad different from each other.


Fortunately one of the positive side effects of such a pleasant distraction is that you bounce back quite quickly.  I was truly none the worse for wear.  'Oh well, these things happen' I say to myself.  Off it went to compost and out came the bananas.  Whole wheat flour and some streusel, a few chocolate chips and the universe was once again in balance... and the happy couple were hugging finally after two hours on screen and 7 movie years of waiting for each other.  Hugging.


I've not given up on my pumpkin bread.  I've still got the ideal in my head.  It's going to look just so and taste wonderful.  The crumb will be perfect and the topping will be the icing on the cake so to speak.  It just won't be happening today.


Red Fife Banana Muffins adapted from 'Baking Bites'
8 - 10 muffins

1 1/2 cup red fife or whole wheat flour
1/2 cup unbleached, all purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 cup milk
1 egg
3/4 cup brown sugar
2 or 3 ripe bananas (about 1 - 1 1/4 cups), peeled and mashed
3 tbsp melted butter

Toppings or additions:
Few handfuls of chocolate chips (additions)
Streusel (topping) - see recipe below
chopped nuts (addition or topping or both)
chopped candied nuts (topping I think)

Preheat oven to 350°F.
Line a muffin tin with paper or silicon liners and set aside.
Combine the flours, baking powder, salt and cinnamon together.  Mix until incorporated and set aside.
Combine the milk, egg and brown sugar together.  Mix well.  Add in the mashed banana and mix again.  Add in the melted butter and mix well.
Add the flour mixture to the banana mixture.  Mix only until the flour is completely mixed in.  Add any additions that you would like ... or none at all.
Fill the muffin cups so that the filling just reaches the top.  Sprinkle with nuts or streusel if you would like.
Bake for about 20 minutes or until a cake tester comes out clean.
Let the muffins cool for a few minutes before removing from the tin.

Streusel - adapted from 'Good to the Grain'

1/8 cup whole wheat or red fife flour
1/8 cup unbleached, all purpose flour
2 tbsp brown sugar
dash of salt and cinnamon
3 tbsp unsalted butter, cold and cubed

Combine all ingredients and work it with your fingers, pinching gently until the butter mixes to form a crumbly texture.

I bought myself a present.  It's always a big deal when I buy myself a present.  Well, when could it possibly not be a big deal.  A present implies something special.  It's something that you may not necessarily need but get given to you anyway... or, as in this case, you give to yourself.  In addition, I'm not someone who spends money on herself... except for books... and champagne (I am blushing right now).  This week I bought myself two books.  That's right.  Two books.  Not one book... two books.  They've been on my 'wish list' for quite a while so it was fitting to finally bite the bullet and go for it.  Admittedly, I went to a bookstore downtown to see if I could pick them up 'supercheap' before I bought them online but it was not to be.  The whole thing happened because I got really frustrated last week with baking.  Baking is not something that I normally get frustrated about but there it is, I got frustrated.  I've been trying to incorporate more whole grains into my baking and bread making since discovering the fantastic red fife/Ontario thing (you know - locally grown and milled, whole grain, good for you... blah blah blah).  For the most part my attempts have been successful but limited.  I'm getting more adventurous but I'm looking to really dive in a go deep.  Let's just see how far this goes.  I'm searching for more recipes using whole grains in part or in whole and let me tell you, it takes a lot of time.  A lot of time.  I spent a long time searching through my own (limited - hence the 'present') cookbook collection and then a longer time online scrolling through reems of google search results.  After a while I forget what I was looking for in the first place.  Next thing I know I'm throwing up my hands (and mouse) in frustration, grabbing chocolate and a beer and giving up.
I've heard a lot about this book - all good things... all great things actually.  Now that I've got it in my grubbies I see that it's a little different than I had hoped in that it makes use of quite a few different kinds of whole grain flours (kamut, quinoa, spelt - you get the idea) but I'm going to use this as a base for inspiration more than anything else.  I wanted recipes for whole grain chocolate cookies (it's here), whole grain quick breads (it's here - almost but I can work with it), lots of whole grain and fruit combos (Yup - it's here) and recipes using honey as well as or in place of the sugar - although I'm hearing some rumblings about honey being no better than sugar as a sweetener but I'm going to do some more investigating on that one cause honey at least has some healing and nutritive qualities even if it still is just fructose at the end of the day, right?


Right now (and I do mean this very moment) I'm more excited than I have been in months about getting chocolate cookies and pumpkin bread in and out of my oven.  Unfortunately, this recipe is neither one of those things.  It is the bread recipe that I fell on while searching for my pumpkin/whole grain/honey/google/mania a few days ago.  It's nothing like pumpkin bread.  It's very very far from whole grain chocolate cookies too you might have noticed.  It is though one of the best breads that I've churned out in a while and I liked that it was called 'Canadian' although I have no idea why it might have been given the title.  I like it when a post starts out weird and then totally makes sense when you get to the last 4 sentances.  It makes me feel like I've accomplished something and given you, my reader, a little bit of pay-off.


Canadian Brown Bread adapted from 'King Arthur Flour'
makes 1 Big loaf

2 cup unbleached all purpose flour
1 2/3 cups Red Fife or Whole Wheat flour
2 tsp salt
1 tsp cocoa
1 tsp instant coffee powder
1 1/2 cups warm water
2 1/4 tsp yeast
1 tbsp sugar
2 tbsp butter, melted
1/2 cup honey

Combine the warm water, yeast and sugar together.  Stir just to mix and set aside in a draft free spot to proof for 10 minutes.  After 10 minutes there should be quite a bit of foam on top of the water and it should smell very 'yeasty'.
Meanwhile, combine both flours - reserve a 1/4 cup or so of the all purpose flour for kneading.  Add in the salt, cocoa powder and coffee powder.  Stir to mix.
Once the yeast has proofed pour in the melted butter and honey to the mixture.  Stir to mix.  Add the honey/yeast mixture to the flour.  Mix until it forms a dough ball.
Remove to a lightly floured surface and knead the dough using the reserved all purpose flour as well.
After about 6 - 8 minutes the dough should be smooth and soft to the touch.  Place the dough in a lightly buttered bowl, turning so that the entire ball is greased.  Cover and place in a warm, draft free spot to rise for about 1 hr. or until doubled in size.
Punch the dough ball down and form into a loaf shape.
Butter a loaf pan and place the dough into the pan.  Cover again and place in a draft free spot to rise for another hour.
Preheat oven to 350°F.
Place the risen loaf into the oven and bake for 20 - 25 minutes or until the crust is just turning brown and sounds hollow when you knock on it.
Let it cool slightly before attempting to slice it.

I'm hoping that you will all bear with me while I air out some things that I'm finding myself confused about.  For example, the other day I read a statement that went something like this: (I'm embellishing)
If you are used to seeing an armed guard at your local fast food restaurant, bank, church(!) then wouldn't the 'logic' follow that the schools which house our children for a large portion of the day should also be protected as diligently.  
This was put out the in the alternate universe known as Facebook by one of my 'friends.  'Oh Yes' you say immediately.  That's right.  We absolutely need to protect... wait, what?  Did you just mention your church had an armed guard?  Fast food joints have armed guards?  Ok.  No.  I think that we're a little mixed up here because shouldn't the real question here be why we feel the need to be armed like a military state in a country which purports such unequivocal freedom for the individual?  Sometimes 'logic' just doesn't make sense for me.  I was immediately confused.
I remember when I was a teenager a friends cousin got pregnant.  She was 17.  Most of those who weighed in on the situation (both parent and peer) thought that the logical thing to do was for her to marry the dude.  I was not one of those people.  I really thought that just because you messed up and got pregnant didn't mean that you had to sign up to continue down the same path.  Chances are that in any other circumstances the two wouldn't have stayed together past the summer.  Back then I thought that insisting the two get married would only make mistake number two.  Mistake number one already has some pretty far reaching consequences if you know what I mean.  Fortunately for her and for him they decided not to get married.  For me the same logic follows in the paragraph above.  I was always confused by the 'answers'.
If I'm truthful, both the questions and the answers feel wrong.  They seem upside down and backwards and it feels we're all too confused to really understand what we're nodding our heads to anymore because the language doesn't make sense.  Or maybe we want to find an answer that completely negates the problem.  I get that too.  Let's just find a paint colour strong enough to completely cover the crap underneath.  It can be a lot of work to get the crap off the walls first.  Sometimes I wonder if we've forgotten how to work together to find an answer because we've only been taught the 'black and whites' based on religion, colour and/or income bracket.
Do we only debate anymore?  Does debate matter in the light of 'right' and 'left' positioning.  I'm really struggling with the confusion I feel around governance and what appears to be our progressive and collective lack of understanding regarding the problems (I'm purposely using the word 'problem' as opposed to 'issue').  I'm not trying to stir the pot around gun controls.  It's just the current problem, that's all.  My concern is for the bigger picture.  I'd love to hear from you on your thoughts, not on the smaller, current problems but the larger, over-riding ones.  In other words, I'm not looking for a dissection and/or debate around things like gun control or abortion but a discussion around how we consider and move through these problems.


Now for something completely different: I promised you galette (or Pie) dough.  I promised you a recipe using lard.  I've recently started using lard more.  I've always heard that lard produces the flakiest crust but I've also heard that it's so bad for you that it's worth forfeiting for something healthier.  No longer.  I found out that I can get rendered lard from 'Fresh From the Farm'.  They just put it in yogurt containers.  I went, I saw, I bought.


Truth is that honestly I've never experienced a crust with a crumb so exquisite.  Fantastic.  Delicious.  Amazing.  I've got a crust or two in the freezer now so that I can make this on a whim but the reality is making the crust from scratch is pretty easy too.  If you can find lard from a trusted source then give this a whirl.  If you can't then butter will also do just fine.

This is the broccoli and roasted squash galette that I made with the crust.

Red Fife Galette (or Pie) Dough adapted from 'A Couple Cooks'
makes 2 med sized galettes or 1 double crusted pie

1 1/2 cups unbleached all purpose flour
1/2 cup Red Fife or Whole Wheat flour
3/4 tsp salt
1/2 cup cold butter, cubed
1/4 cup cold lard, cubed or in small bits
1 egg yolk
1/4 tsp apple cider vinegar
6 tbsp (approx) cold water

Combine the egg yolk, apple cider vinegar and cold water together.  Whisk until combined.  Set aside.
Combine both flours and the salt together in a medium sized bowl (not plastic).  Add in the cubed butter and lard.  Cut together the fats with the flour using a pastry cutter or two knives until the texture is crumbly.
Add the egg yolk mixture to the flour mixture.  Mix until it forms a dough ball (I added a little bit more water to mine).  Divide the dough into two balls, cover each with clear film and rest in the fridge for about 30 minutes.
Roll out on a lightly floured surface to about 1/4 or 1/8th of an inch approx.
Use the dough according to whatever recipe directions you are using from there.  If only using one dough ball then freeze the other.

It's really sad when you have a week where you made this awesome galette crust using a mixture of lard and butter which turns out even better than you were hoping and you are so busy that you don't have time to photograph any of it.  The silver lining is that I will be making it again this weekend because... damn.  You will all get a photo and a recipe.  I promise.
Additionally, due to the week mentioned above, we really didn't cook a whole lot else.  We most certainly did not bake... in fact, we didn't even think about baking.  What we did do though is survive the week and that's important because otherwise this blog would be difficult to continue.  Some of the things that helped 'us' survive the week are:

1.  The sun - The sun actually came out this past week.  It was one of the sunniest week's we've had in months.  It was also above 0° C for the better part of the week as well.  This means that I could continue biking to work each day resulting in a happier 'Work Wanda'.  On the flip side, I'm a little bitter that the sun decided coming out during the holiday break was a sucky idea.


2.  My Mom gave me an Amaryllis for Christmas and it's pretty much exploded.  It's impossible remain upset or seriously discontented when you look at the colour explosion.  It reminds you that there are some things that still grow into seriously beauty in the dead of winter.  There is no flip side to this point.

3.  This song has been on the tip of our collective 'family tongue' this week.  We've been humming it or singing it under our breath each one in turn.  Kid #1 burst through the door after school today.  She later started singing out loud when we were at our local bulk food store.  It's a great/creepy song - my tattoo artist agrees.  It's the only song on his playlist that I recognized.  The flip side here is that it's a bit creepy but really gets in your head and nothing else seems to stick.


4.  I've finally recommitted to coffee (there are a lot of double letters in those last 3 words).  It's a long story and I'm not sure I've ever delved into it here.  I'll give you the abridged version of my coffee saga and tell you that we had a torrid affair during my early twenties which left me shaky, feeling slightly nauseous and gave me a racing pulse (sounds just like true love, right).  I slowed us down quite a bit after that.  During my 'child-having' years (not saying 'thirties' - ok) we broke up.  I was done with coffee... until about 7 1/2 years later my BFF KT suggests that although our friendship isn't in jeopardy (because there is always red wine) it would definitely benefit from the addition of coffee as a third party.  Then I smell somebody's coffee at work (which I later, strangely, discovered was actually tea) and decid then and there that coffee and I are starting up again.  Love is like that sometimes, right?  It's not torrid anymore... it's just comfortable and nice.  I'm happy with that.  Flip side: now I'm all 'OMG Fair Trade Coffee...'

And just like that the holidays are over and it's back to normal and I for one am so happy to be going back.  In the winter we all get a little stir crazy being inside.   Oh I wish that I were more adventurous as a parent, sure.  I watch with awe and wonder at the parents schlepping their kids here, there and everywhere in pursuit of happiness and fun.  I'm not that parent.  I'm the parent letting their kid have a cookie at 10:30 a.m. because it's the holidays.  I'm the parent letting their kid stay in pyjamas all day and doing movie marathons.  I'm the parent who might not even say a word to her kids for 2 or 3 hours because your all off in a different room... maybe napping.  I'm not out snowshoeing.  I'm not out at the mall.  We are not skating.

Note: Them - Outside/Me - Inside... maybe napping

With that in mind, we've all had a ton of relaxation and down time and are ready to brave the rest of the winter and get back to a routine.  My Christmas ham is getting it's final send-off by going  bone and all into split-pea soup.  The wine is drunk.  The champagne bottles are empty.  Birthdays have been celebrated.  Mother-in-laws have been moved.  Gingerbread houses have been decimated.  We are having our last holiday visitors over today... the tree is gone (thank god - goodbye) and the alarm clock is set for tomorrow.
Things go back to normal.  Back to waking up before the sun gets up.  Back to listening to CBC 'Metro Morning' which ends at 8:30 a.m. so I don't think I need to explain why I didn't listen over the holidays.  Back to being the lessons and classes taxi service.  Back to really listening to news and reading the papers.  A return to my normal cynicism around the politics of change as opposed to the politics for theatre.  And hence, back to my regular frustration.  It's back to piano practice and homework after school and cleaning out lunch kits.
And finally, it's back to the comfort of the everyday and food that can be transported for lunches or work well as leftovers.  Enter: Squash.


Squash - that stuff I hated when I was a kid.  Squash - the stuff I only knew as a thing that you cut in half, de-seeded (never done by me mind you) and roasted with sugar and butter.  Sometimes it was bearable and other times it was the WORST.  Squash - the food that you tolerated for dinner and hoped that something better (like taco's or spaghetti from a can) was coming tomorrow.  Squash - the dinner guest that I discovered would come out of my brother's nose if I got him to laugh hard enough.  Squash - the stuff that I thought only came in dark green acorn and bright orange pumpkin.  Squash - the food that I would never in a million years have guessed could make a rather nice sweet loaf... seriously, who knew that one.
Now, squash has become synonymous with comfort food for me.  Roast that squash and it further transforms into amazing.  Put it with some sausage, greens and cream and you've got winter heaven in a bowl.  Honestly I don't need to eat this with anything else but it does go nicely with some pasta and would do well with rice or something like it as well.


Squash and Sausage Pasta Sauce
serves 6

3 cups butternut squash (or other winter squash), peeled, deseeded and cubed
1 cup onion
3 cloves garlic
1 1/2 cup mushrooms
3 cups curly Kale, diced
1 lb sausage, (I used Honey, Garlic) uncooked and thinly sliced
1 cup vegetable or chicken broth
1 1/2 - 2 cups cream
2 tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp paprika
1 1/2 tsp nutmeg
2 tsp salt
2 tsp italian seasoning
2 tbsp honey
4 - 5 cups rotini or penne pasta cooked to al dente, drained and set aside

Preheat oven to 375°F.
Line a baking sheet.  Toss the butternut squash in melted lard or olive oil.  Place on the baking sheet and roast for about 40 minutes (if it looks ready after 30 minutes in your oven take it out then).  Set aside.
Heat a large wok or dutch oven over medium heat.   Add 2 - 3 tbsp of lard or oil.  Add in the onion and cook for about 4 minutes.  Add in the sausage and garlic and cook together another 5 minutes.  Turn the heat down to med/low and add the mushrooms and kale.  Cook together for another 5 - 7 minutes (the kale should be fully wilted at that point).  Add in the roasted squash and mix.  Add in the paprika, nutmeg, salt, italian seasoning and honey.  Mix well.  Add in the broth, lemon juice and cream. Check the taste and adjust if necessary (I might add in a little heat for example).
At this point you can remove the sauce from the heat and add it to the pasta, mix well and serve OR plate the pasta and add the sauce over top on each plate.