I know what you're thinking - 'Where's that chick pea salad that Wanda keeps promising on and not delivering'  See I knew that I knew what you were thinking because we're all so into salad with chickpeas and feta and parsley that we can't get enough.  Don't worry, I made it and it's coming down the pipe.  I've been eating it for lunch and literally feeling years peel off of me and my entire system simultaneously undergo a cleanse.  Not really.
I made ice cream.  Again.  It's weird stuff... even for me.  D HATES it... absolutely, utterly, profoundly.  HATE.  Kid #1 likes it.  Not absolutely, utterly or profoundly but she likes it.  I am in like with it.  Not love - I don't love easily... anyone or anything.  I can tell you that I used a cream cheese that was almost homemade and therefor a little lumpy.  I think that regular 'cream' cheese would do the trick for me.  The rhubarb crap is essential.

Notice the lumpy looking cream cheese in the top right corner.

So with that taken care of...  I'm thinking about high maintenance lately.  Like how in the summer my yard and garden are high maintenance and how I'm not dealing well with it because I still haven't planted a lot of the crap that I should have by now and I've only cut my grass twice so far.  (Yeah, I do know that's a run on sentence) Also, I think that I get fussy and high maintenance mixed up.  What's the diff between fussing with my hair and being high maintenance about my hair (this issue doesn't really apply to me personally in any way)  Or think about eating.  If I'm a fussy eater then I'm probably pretty high maintenance with food.  I think that maybe the two words are synonym's.  I've always thought of both words having a negative connotation but maybe they don't.  Maybe not being high maintenance is just another way of saying boring.
Kids are high maintenance and sometimes fussy too but then they grow out of that, right?  Kids who aren't a little fussy can be way too passive.  I'm guessing that a high maintenance friend would be super demanding about stuff that I probably wouldn't care about but maybe that's just what I need.  Mightn't I get bored if my friends just went along compliantly with whatever I suggested or offered.  My friends have come to terms with my high maintenance idiosyncrasies.  Things like my crippling inability to come up with a decent gift... unless you spell it out for me i.e. 'my favourite thing in the world is grey socks' or my utter indifference around make-up (a colleague is working endlessly to get me to straighten my hair.... why?), my embarrassing biking clothes, the difficulty I have listening to music whilst having a conversation and my obsession to get my friends moving more.  Damn - maybe that makes me high maintenance.


I feel very uncomfortable right now so I'm going to head back to the subject of food.  This recipe is a little high maintenance.  Custard - finicky/fussy, contains egg yolks that will curdle if handled carelessly.  Custard has to cool for a good long time.  Rhubarb sauce - needs to simmer gently down for almost an hour then it has to cool.  You have to stir it to keep it from sticking, i.e. constant attention.  Then the custard has to turn into ice cream and then you add the cream cheese and then you layer everything and then you freeze it some more and then you thaw it a little and then you eat it.  Definitely high maintenance from beginning to end but on the flip side it's not hard and it's definitely worth it.  It might be just what you need.



Strawberry, Rhubarb Cheesecake Ice Cream adapted from kokocooks
makes about 1 litre

Ice Cream:
1 1/2 cups heavy cream
1 cup milk
1 scant cup sugar
1 vanilla bean or 1 tsp vanilla bean paste or 1 tsp vanilla
4 egg yolks, lightly whisked

1 cup  cream cheese (not light or whipped cream cheese)

Rhubarb/Strawberry Sauce:
3 cups rhubarb, coarsely chopped
1 cup strawberries, hulled and quartered
1/2 cup sugar
1 vanilla bean (insides scooped out)
1 tsp lemon juice

For the custard:
Heat a heavy bottomed saucepan over medium/low heat.
Add the sugar, cream and milk and whisk together until the sugar dissolves.
Cut the vanilla bean down the side and split it open using the blunt side of a knife.  Run the knife through the inside of the bean to extract all of the little bean thingies (! - I don't know what they're called really).  Throw everything in with the cream mixture.  Turn the heat up just a little.
Have the egg yolks ready.
Once the mixture is almost to a simmer turn down the heat to low.
Using a ladle, slowly add a little of the cream mixture to the egg yolks, whisking constantly.  Once you've added about 2 ladles worth to the yolks then pour the yolks back in to the cream mixture.  Continue whisking and turn the heat up just a little.
Once the mixture coats a wooden spoon such that if you run your finger through the back of the spoon the finger line doesn't run together then you can remove the mixture from the heat.
Pour the mixture through a sieve and into a bowl.  Cover with cling film, placing the cling film right onto the custard mixture so that no custard is touching air.
Refrigerate for at least 4 - 5 hrs and preferably overnight.

For the Sauce:
Combine the rhubarb, strawberries, sugar, scooped out part of the vanilla and lemon juice in a heavy bottomed saucepan.
Heat over medium heat until the mixture comes to a simmer and turn the heat down to low.  Stir occasionally to keep from sticking.  Simmer for about 45 - 55 min at low heat or until the mixture begins to thicken.
Cool completely.

To combine:
Churn the custard into an ice cream maker according the the machine directions.  Once the custard has almost set but is still soft, add in the cream cheese a tbsp at a time - continue churning.
In a large container spoon a thin layer (1/2 inch or so) of the rhubarb mixture on the bottom, cover with about 3 inches of ice cream and continue to alternate the layers, ending with rhubarb.
Freeze for a few hours.
Thaw for a few minutes to soften before serving.

The school where I work is a rather unique place.  It's a school - a full academic school.  It's an all boys school.  The school goes from grades 3 through 12 and there is only 1 class per grade.  Therefor, it's also a pretty small school.  Every single boy who attends our school has been auditioned and academically tested.  The reason for the screening is that each and every boy sings each and every weekend at the Cathedral that lives right next door to our school.  It's a boys Choir School.
Each year the Cathedral thanks the boys for the dedicated work by providing them with an ice cream day.  A local company comes to the Cathedral grounds and serves ice cream to all of the boys - not the teachers (this is important to note as it seems to have been a sore point over the last two or three years and because one teacher managed to score ice cream this year... only one teacher).  As you can imagine, this ice cream day is a highlight for most of the boys.
How it works is a big scoop of ice cream gets plopped onto a cold slab of granite (I guess) which is kept cold from some kind of refrigeration contraption under the stone.  The eater then chooses additions like gummy bears, marshmallows or sprinkles (god forbid fruit) and it gets all mixed together on the cold slab.  Then it gets scooped up and plopped into a waiting cup.  The boys grab a spoon (totally optional apparently) and go to it.  I happened to be on camera duty this year and here's what it looked like.

Sprinkles - waiting to be scooped into ice cream or poured straight into some boys waiting mouth.

This is what the slab looks like after abut 30 kids come through.

This is what all of that leftover everything looks like when it gets scooped into a cup and then given to an eagerly waiting teacher... the only teacher to get ice cream.

I was going to make a nice salad of chickpeas, feta and parsley with god knows what else.  That would have been nice.  I didn't make it.  I haven't made it.  Yet.  Maybe I will - I don't know - maybe the window has closed and the moment is gone.
I did make an orzo thing with fiddleheads and asparagus.  There was so much of it that I shared... and it didn't suck.  So that's nice too.  I didn't tell my sharee that I threw some dandelion leaves in there.  Plus it's always super nice to share a dish with asparagus in it because whoever eats it will get smelly pee and think of you every time they... well, every time they pee.  It's always nice to be remembered.  I feel like body smells - you know, the real ones and not the fake ones that involve perfume - remind you that you are alive.  Smelly pee falls into that category for me.

The Smelly Pee Givers in all of their Glory.

Let's take a moment to talk about what I did make.  Banana Bread.  Yup - I baked (not to be confused with 'I am baked' which means something completely different).  First time in two months and let me tell you, I was a bit scared.  It was like I hadn't ridden a bike for a while and I was a little shaky at first.  Best thing to do is just start at that point which is exactly what I did.  Then I had some anxiety about whether or not it was going to turn out.  Subsequently, had to have a discussion with myself about why it didn't even matter if it turned out or not - not like I'm selling it or anything. Next thing I knew it was in the oven and my waiting began.  I still have absolutely no interest in eating this bread but I'm pretty that my kids and co-workers will... so long as it doesn't suck.  I'm pretty sure that I've never experienced smelly pee after eating banana bread.

Over ripe bananas looked jacked.

It looks like Banana Bread...

I'm not sure if you've noticed my frenetic brain activity... if you've ever tried to write, read, listen to music or do anything requiring any focus at all with a 6 3/4 yr old beside you then you will understand completely.  I'm doing my damnedest to zone him out completely resulting in what is probably something utterly incoherent... it's not working though - he just told me that he punched his own junk and it hurt.  So nope, it's not working.  Also in my 'real life', it turns out that the bump on my shin which hurts a lot when I run is probably this thing called a stress fracture.  This will mean that my running needs to scale back and I need to ice the crap out of my shin multiple times a day because I totally have time for that.  Since I've just started to feel like my foot is fully back in shape I've just started to up my kilometre count.  I want to aim for another half marathon in the fall.  I'm going to drink some beer to prevent myself from getting too depressed and then I'll start booking biking dates with anyone I can.  If you're up for it just let me know.


Banana Bread with Buckwheat flour (but just a little bit) adapted from 'Mélanger: To Mix'
makes 1 medium sized loaf
serves 6 - 8

1 1/2 cups unbleached, all purpose flour
1/2 cup buckwheat flour
1 tsp salt
3/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1 cup (about 3) overripe bananas, mashed
1 cup sugar
1 egg
1/4 cup unsalted butter, melted
1/3 cup sour cream or plain yogurt

Preheat oven to 350°F
Butter and flour a loaf pan (you know - butter it first and then put a tbsp or so of flour in their, toss it around to coat the butter and then dump out the leftover flour) and set aside.
Combine the all purpose flour, buckwheat flour, salt, baking soda, cinnamon and nutmeg together.  Mix well and set aside.
Combine the mashed banana, sugar, egg, melted butter and sour cream/yogurt together.  Mix well - until the ingredients are incorporated and the sugar has dissolved.
Add the flour mixture to the banana mixture.  Mix just until all of the flour has been combined and the mixture is wet.
Pour into the prepared baking pan.
Bake for about 50 minutes or until a tester comes out clean.
Cool completely before slicing (so at least 4 minutes, give or take)

Things that are currently bugging the hell out of me:

Drink Recipes

Salad Recipes that involve mixing greens with other stuff and adding a dressing at the end.  I'm sorry... recipe????

Asking a direct question and getting a response that is not an answer.
Ex.  Question: 'I'm at the cafe, you want me to get you anything?'
Response:  'Where was my invite?'
Response to Response: 'Oh! Answer question please'
(P.S. I am guilty of this one even though I can't stand it)
This conversation really happened BTW.

Having to look busy when you really are not.

When it's supposed to be 24°C because it's JUNE and it's really only 11°.... and raining.


Trying to pry angel food cake out of the tube pan.

Coffee that's flavoured with anything other than coffee... I might concede to trying a little bit of cinnamon but I would only be trying it.

Not eating the egg yolk part of the egg which is (we all know) the best part.  What's the point?  Isn't this a holdover from the nineties?


Now I'm not only being 'bugged' these days.  There are poppies blooming and that going to make just about anybody smile.  There is also the small matter of the back and front yards that I've managed to clear to an almost acceptable level.  The fact that my foot doesn't hurt every single solitary time that I run is also giving me pause.  I think that on about three occasions kid #2 ate vegetables without complaining and/or asking for cereal... Win.  Kid #1 is officially old enough to do any number of things on her own.  Last and certainly not least, there are exactly 14 school days left until summer break.
Eat cake once and a while, would 'ya.



Angel Food Cake with Chocolate Shavings adapted from Martha Stewart
makes 1 cake

10 - 12 egg whites
1 1/4 cups cake and pastry flour, sifted
1/4 tsp salt
1 1/4 cups superfine sugar (or regular sugar put into a blender and blitzed a couple of times)
1 tsp cream of tartar
2 tsp vanilla
2/3 cup dark chocolate, coarsely shredded

Preheat oven to 350°F
Have a tube or bundt pan ready but do not grease or butter.
Sieve together the flour and the salt and set aside.
Using a mixer, beat the egg whites until foamy.  Add in the cream of tartar and continue to beat until soft peaks form.
Continue to beat and add in the sugar.  Beat until stiff peaks form.
Whisk in the flour mixture little by little, folding gently.  Continue until all of the flour mixture is incorporated.
Gently fold in the shredded chocolate until it's well mixed.
Pour into the tube pan and bake for about 35 - 40 minutes.
Remove from the oven and cool the cake upside down in the pan.  Cool for about an hour.
Gently cut around the edges of the cake, eventually loosening the cake from the pan.

It's been a week in which some very nice and kind things happened to me.
My favourite crossing guard lady told me I was beautiful.  Again.  Heart.
I volunteer to do cooking club at school and two of my Gr 12 helpers told me to that they would take care of all the clean up so that I could head home.  Kind and adorable.  Heart.
My Best Friend brought me some green sprout kinda things and dropped them for me at school.  Heart.
One of the same Gr 12 boys heard that I had forgotten to bring my lunch and brought me some of his homemade potato cakes... with sour cream on the side.  Yup.  Heart.

These are a couple of the things that we made during last week's Cooking Club Course.  It's real.

I felt cared about and that's cool because it helps balance out all of the crap.
I read this and laughed out loud BTW.  Don't even need to read the article because just the Title and Picture sew it all up.
I realised that I haven't baked since Easter.  EASTER.  Unprecedented for me I know and it's probably got something to do with the fact that I've been off sweets.  I have, for the record, made a lot of ice cream.  Leftover cravings from Italy perhaps?  The upside for all of you is that ice cream leaves me with a butt load of egg whites... angel food cake anyone?  It's coming.  I promise.
Michael Pollan again.  I kinda feel like this weird attraction thing with him.  It's cool that he finds a way to say knowledgeable and intelligent things in a very accessible way.  It's also cool that he learns - like really learns - his stuff.
Statistically it looks like work/life balance has been working out pretty well for you if you are a dude... surprise, surprise.  Unfortunately, if you are a single-parent, educated (or not), working female the stats aren't looking nearly as rosy.  Surprise, Surprise.  Makes you wonder (again) about how things generally are working out for women in North America especially considering the kind of economy we've been dealing with over the last 10 (or 30) years.
It's almost impossible to imagine but this used to be 'Black Eyed Peas'.  Ummmm - WOW.
Also, just in case you ever need such thing, it's good to know that there is a company looking out for you.  But why should I believe them??????


I have been absolutely negligent in providing you with recipes using spring season ingredients.  They've been in my fridge - in fact, some are still there right now.  Asparagus, stinging nettles, ramps, rhubarb ('cause I had to order it this year... remember), fiddleheads, etc (can't think of any more).  I just feel like I haven't been doing anything life changing with them.  My general malaise combined with my lack of work/life balance (see above - without the single parenting part) has left me more than a little lazy in the kitchen.  I did however come up with this pesto thing.  It's not really pesto but calling it 'pesto' felt right and I'm just going to go with it.  I had cream cheese in the fridge and so it got added too.  It's a kitchen sink kind of recipe.  I later cooked up some honey garlic sausages and mushrooms and made a pasta sauce with the whole lot.  It came off well - even kid #2 ate it without complaining.


Ramps and Stinging Nettle 'Weird' Pesto
makes about 1 1/2 - 2 cups of sauce

8 ramps (or so) coarsely chopped
3 cups Stinging Nettle leaves, coarsely chopped
1/4 cup olive oil
3/4 cups cream
1 tsp salt
1 tsp honey
juice of a lemon (about 2 tbsp)
1/2 cup parmesan cheese
1/3 cups cream cheese or goat cheese
1/2 cup pasta water

Heat a heavy bottomed pan over medium heat.
Add about 2 tbsp olive oil or grease.
Throw in the ramps and stinging nettle leaves.  Stir for 1 minutes and immediately remove from the heat.
Add the olive oil and cream.
Place mixture in a blender or use an hand blender.  Blend until the mixture is an even paste.
Add the salt, honey, lemon, parmesan and cream cheese.  Mix until blended.
Check the taste and adjust if necessary.
Add pasta water just before using the pesto to get it to the desired consistency.

It's high time that something sweet and indulgent showed it's face here.  You deserve it.  You've endures so much from me over the past weeks.  Rants about Italy - blah blah blah we're all so happy that you went to Italy.  Lists about surviving with 180 boys for weeks on end - Boo, poor You having teaching at an all boys school.  Going on about the weather and when will it finally be spring anyway.  Blubbering about my home life and giving recipe upon recipe of things that have nothing to do with treating yourself.  Whining about how busy things have been and chiming on about how excited I am about getting some rhubarb this year.
Last weekend we had an extra day off.  D completed a fantastic DIY project with our neighbour in the backyard.  They fixed the fence.  It was in a state.  Falling over, you know how it goes.


All finished, it looks great and now my raspberries are not getting crushed by a falling fence.  However, my rhubarb took a hit.  A bad hit.  A deadly hit.  It's over.  No rhubarb this year.


My heart broke a little on one side - chipped right off.  I've ordered some for my food box and I'm not going to say any more about it.
I decided to let it go and drown some cherries in vodka because somehow I knew that would help me feel better.  So that totally happened.  Cherries left the freezer.  They got drowned in vodka and maple syrup and they were very very happy about it.  Drunk with happiness.  Then those gorgeous, drunk, bad boys got roasted.  Slowly and lovingly roasted.  The cherries were then chopped in their beautiful juice and thrown into the best vanilla ice cream I've ever made.


Ice cream is something I really need to indulge in more.  Homemade ice cream is possibly one of the very best things going.  The simplicity of making something with so few ingredients - cream, milk, sugar, egg yolk and vanilla - is more than comforting, it's sheer beauty.  I needed beauty in my life this week.  There is so much going on.  So much sadness and sickness and hurt and busy that needs balancing out.  I got told earlier in the week that I'm mean.  Maybe it was one of my kids or somebody at work, I can't even remember.  It was probably a joke but it got me thinking.  I am mean sometimes.  It's weird - when I like you I hurl insults at you.  I'm joking of course when I do it - it's all in good fun, right?  Sarcastic and funny.  I thought about how my sarcasm was kinda like those boys in Gr 1 who liked me.  How did I know they liked me?  They bit me... or maybe just punched me in the arm or something.  Their hurting me was actually them 'liking' me except how am I supposed to know that because I'm at school in the nurses office getting a plaster and hoping that I don't have to get sent in for a tetanus shot.  Yup - that's me sometimes only I use my words (isn't that what we're supposed to do) instead of my hands (or teeth as the case may be).  Blech.  Sometimes introspection sucks.  What am I going to do about it now that I know?  For now I'm going to eat ice cream because the fat will help me feel better about myself - I'm not even kidding about that.


I'm going to go and get together a list of some kind of crap that you could probably not care less about for my next post.


Drunken Cherry and Vanilla Ice Cream adapted from epicurious.com
makes about 750ml or serves 6 - 8

1 2/3 cup cherries (I used frozen from last year's harvest) halved
3 tbsp rum/vodka or vanilla
3 tbsp maple syrup

1 1/2 cups heavy cream
1 cup milk
1 cup sugar
2 tsp vanilla paste or vanilla seeds scooped out of 2 pods
4 egg yolks, placed together in a bowl

Combine the cherries, alcohol and maple syrup together.  Stir and set aside to marinate for at least 30 minutes.
Preheat oven to 300°F
Pour the cherries and liquid onto a baking sheet and roast for about 30 minutes.
Cool the cherries completely and then chop then in their juice.

Combine the cream, milk and sugar in a heavy bottomed pan.  Heat over med/low heat until just barely beginning to simmer.  Turn the heat down to low immediately.  Add the vanilla seeds.  Stir well.
Pour some of the heated cream/milk into the egg yolks, stirring constantly.
Pour the egg yolk mixture slowly back into the cream mixture until it's all added.  Stir constantly (the mixture shouldn't come to a simmer again).  You should feel the mixture thickening somewhat.  You can test that the custard is ready by checking the back of a wooden spoon - dip it into the custard, run your finger across the back of the spoon and if the cream doesn't run back together and fill in the gap then it's ready.
Run the mixture through a sieve and into a bowl.
Cover with plastic wrap, placing the plastic wrap right on the custard (that way no crust forms on the top of the custard).  Cool completely and then refrigerate for at least 4 hrs.
Place the custard into an ice cream maker and run according to the specifications.
At the end of the run, as the ice cream is nearly set, add in the chopped cherries.  Run for another 5 minutes.
Scoop into a freezable container to firm up.

There are certain phrases that have been going through my head over and over again.  The big one has been: Stop waiting to not be afraid to do anything.  It's a weird phrase and I'm giving it to you exactly as I thought it.  I haven't tried to make it unweird at all.  I'm not exactly sure why it's been running on replay in my brain for the last while but there it is.
Dealing with being afraid has been a running theme throughout my life but then who doesn't have that?  We all deal with it in one way or another.  Fear is a big deal.  I don't buy that it's not a big deal.  Just because it's only an emotion doesn't mean it's not a big deal.  Just because it's not a physical wall in front of me or a huge monster blocking the road doesn't mean that it's not a big deal.  In fact, I think that it's more easy to be afraid than not.  And it's not always about being afraid of doing something or confronting something, I can also be afraid to say no or of doing nothing.
Having this phrase rolling through my head has given me some time to ponder, to turn it around and lift it up and look underneath it a bit.  I think that being a bit older has now given me a different perspective.  I find myself looking at situations where I'm terrified to confront or things which I'm afraid to admit and I think about how I'm going to feel after I do it.  I experienced a situation recently which in the scheme of life was pretty small but I went ahead and did what I needed to do even though I could hardly swallow and my hands were shaking.  Sure, there was a desired outcome - a kind of 'ideal situation' thing (which didn't happen incidentally) - but I knew that I had to do it because I would be so disappointed with myself if I didn't.  After I did it.  After I said what I wanted to say (which was brief ie.  really no big deal) I had what was probably one of the best nights I've had in a while.  I felt so good for just doing it.  So good that the outcome didn't matter nearly as much as I thought it would.  I didn't feel like all I was made of was chicken s$#@.
That, my Peeps, makes me think about the bigger things.  Is it possible that those bigger things that I'm terrified might work the same way.  If I look those bad boys in the face (and be so scared that I possibly have an accident on the spot) how good will I feel afterwards.  How proud of myself will I be?  Will it matter whether the outcome was the one I was looking for?  It feels good to be proud of yourself.  I know this already from performing.  When you've done the work, when you know it's good and you have something to say and get up there and you say it... even though you're scared.  It feels great.  I never thought about how that could transfer into the other areas of my life.  I've got some thinking to do now.


This, of course, has nothing to do with the recipe here... or maybe it does, I'm not sure.  I got some fiddleheads this past week along with some ramps and stinging nettles.  I love fiddleheads but decided not to stress out about making them into some kind of thing in which they are the only star of the show. I just wanted to eat them.  So I made this.  I had mine on top of some salad greens because it just made sense to me at the time but you certainly don't have to do that.  Adding the saffron and the chipotle powder changed the whole dish and I liked where it went.


Spicy Fiddlehead Orzo
serves 6 - 8

1/2 cup onion, diced
1 cup mushrooms, halved
4 cups fiddleheads
4 cloves garlic, crushed
3/4 lb (about 2 cups) ground pork, lamb or seasoned tempeh
1 1/4 cup orzo (uncooked)
3 cups veggie or chicken broth
1/2 cup wine (white or red - whatever you have around)
1/2 tsp each - basil, oregano, parsley
1/2 tsp saffron
1/2 tsp chipotle powder
2 tsp chili powder
2 tsp honey
1 1/2 tsp salt (to taste)

Heat a large, heavy bottomed pot over medium heat.
Add about 3 tbsp of oil or grease.
Add the onion and mushrooms and cook for about 4 minutes.
Turn the heat down to med/low and add the fiddleheads and garlic.  Cook together for about 3 minutes.
Add in the ground meat or tempeh and cook for another 4 minutes.  Stir when necessary to keep from sticking to the bottom.
Add the orzo and stir until the orzo is mixed well and coated with oil.
Add in the broth and stir well.
Add in the wine, herbs, saffron, chipotle powder, chili powder and honey.  Stir well.
Turn the heat down to low and cover the pot.
Cook for about 30 minutes or until the orzo has cooked through.
Taste and add salt if needed.
Serve.