Inspired and Awed


Summer Vacation is quickly drawing to a close.
My weeks have been blissful, meandering, puttering and only just occasionally hustling.
I've read continuously and I won't bore you with my list of books already-read or yet-to-read but it's been like breathing deeply again after a long time of gasping for air.  I do want to tell you all that I feel a changed person as I look back over the last year and a half (or a little more) that I've been doing this crazy blogging thing.  I've changed in ways that I couldn't even have imagined.  I've allowed myself to articulate some ideas that even I was a little afraid of.  Still am a little afraid of, if you must know.
Lately I've been especially inspired.  Inspired by lots of things but definitely a big inspiration is my sister-in-law.  I wrote about her a little bit last summer (I know it's a long time but you can hope back and check it out... it's ok if you didn't read it the first time).  When I met my sis-in-law she was sweet, meek and nice and more than a little insecure, pretty fierce and fiery and definitely, deliciously opinionated.  I don't know how my brother did it.  But he did.  They were both just out of bible college and struggling under the weight of some pretty staggering student debt without significant work to support that debt or themselves.  They struggled in church work for quite a while and then my brother got work in an oil and gas company (I know... my brother - me, the 'I-feel-guilty-when-I-even-look-at-my-car-and-I-think-corporations-are-evil' girl).  That's helped them out a lot but they had to move away for it.  Far away.  Sad face.


My sis-in-law had ideas way beyond what most people expected of her and and she decided to see those dreams through.  Her dream was to write.  She knew she had it in her.  She had something to say and something to share.  She has gotten through a lot of crappy, stupid jobs to support her family and her work.  She's written things that not everybody agreed with or thought was 'decent' but she kept writing.  She's lost friends because of what she's done.  But she kept going.  She believed in something... herself and what was inside of her.  She worked hard to find the confidence to get it out there, she bore the hurt of losing friends because of her words, she sacrificed looking like 'the perfect MOM' in order to write (housework be damned)... and she got it out there.  She now has about 5 published works out there and more is happening for her all the time.
I'm proud of every single word that she has put to paper or punched into a keyboard.  I'm proud that she's not only found her voice but that she's found the strength to let it out.  I'm proud, most of all, that she's a woman and that she's my sister-in-law.  Every time I think albout her I think of all the stuff in my own head, that I'm still a little squeamish about giving words to, and feel just a little less afraid.  Every time I think of the years of everything that she's gone through to muscle that voice out I feel a little more inspired to put my fingers to the keyboard.


We all have stuff - stupid stuff, smart stuff, pretty stuff, ugly stuff - that feels so deeply rooted that we don't know if it can ever find words.  My sis-in-law has taught me to be less afraid of trying to find or articulate that stuff, at the very least.  So I'm feeling a little less afraid and apologetic about telling you that I can (as in bottle and/or freeze) food, that I bake bread, that I wish my whole backyard could be a garden, that if we all had farms then the world might be a happier place, that I do think corporations are evil and maybe governments aren't far behind (see I'm already getting more radical)... I'll stop there for now but who knows what will come out next.  Thanks SIS!  If you are looking for my sis-in-law then you can find her here.

5 comments:

steenaholmes.com said...

You are a doll. And you made me cry. I love you Wanda. You call me fiery but compared to you I'm just a smoking gun ;)

nataliehartford.com said...

Wow - you are so blessed to have each other. A powerful bond. Such incredible support. I am so jealous. ENJOY!!!

Angela Ackerman said...

What a great post. I love that you guys have such a strong, supportive relationship:) Steena's a great gal--I've known her through her blog for a long time but just got to meet her in person a week-ish ago. Looking forward to more chances to get together, too! :)

Angela @ The Bookshelf Muse

Wanda Thorne said...

@ Steena - ok then... we'll both be on fire together... it's the best way anyway.
@ Natalie - We are blessed. I hope that you have someone in your own life who inspires.
@ Angela - You are lucky too. You have probably seen more of my fantastic sis-in-law than I have over the past couple of years. For which I am envious.
Thanks for the great comments everyone!

Sheila Seabrook said...

Family relationships are so precious. It's wonderful when sister-in-laws become sisters.

Thank you for the lovely post!

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St Michael's Choir School is celebrating it's 75th anniversary year of service to St Michael's Cathedral. Part of the school celebration is a trip to Italy where our boys from Grades 5 - 12 will be performing and celebrating Mass. This blog will be chronicling our adventures. Wanda Thorne is the Vocal Coach at St Michael's Choir School. Gerard Lewis is the Grade 7/8 Homeroom teacher at the Choir School.

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Wanda Thorne
St Michael's Choir School is celebrating it's 75th anniversary year of service to St Michael's Cathedral. Part of the school celebration is a trip to Italy where our boys from Grades 5 - 12 will be performing and celebrating Mass. This blog will be chronicling our adventures. Wanda Thorne is the Vocal Coach at St Michael's Choir School. Gerard Lewis is the Grade 7/8 Homeroom teacher at the Choir School.
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