We have just arrived back in Canada after a 10 day jaunt to Amsterdam and London. The trip was wonderful and crazy and deserves it's own post. It will be given what it deserves but for now I will tell you that generally kids above the age of 4 are probably more flexible than we give them credit for  and specifically that D and I have the best kids to travel with.
Among some of the people that I had the privilege of meeting was a beautiful woman at a party. She is bright, articulate, full of personality and crazy fun - generally one of those salt of the earth types that you feel grateful for having in your life. During the course of our conversation (during a big party, over the course of many hours and just as many drinks BTW) she began to talk about how lucky she felt to be with her partner whom she feared was out of her league in both looks and physique. I of course told her that was ridiculous and rhymed off some of those easy to see attributes that I've written above. It made me sad though. Sad because she was so clearly so open and loving, smart, capable, funny, mischievous, fiercely loyal... need I go on? Sad because I highly doubt that her partner was wandering around the party hand wringing about how beautiful and out of his league she was. Sad because we so quickly get caught comparing and judging ourselves against an impossibly limited physical standard. Sad because that no matter what anyone says to us, we all know that we will have to wrestle with the same inner dialogue when we wake up tomorrow. Sad because I'm there too. If she is reading - you never know - I want her to know how lucky I feel having had the opportunity to meet her and how truly beautiful I (and many others) think that she is. I have no solution.


Every once in a while you make something that everybody asks for once it's gone. In my family this usually does not include anything with visible vegetables in it. In fact, I can't remember either one of my kids asking for a repeat of something without adding 'but without the ________' to the request.
Then I made this.
The heavens have opened. The gods have heard my cries and have granted me 3 wishes - or whatever. They liked this. They all liked this. I think that kid#1 was setting up for a 'but without the asparagus' adendum but when the recipe is pretty much half asparagus and your parent is giving you a look that means internet privileges might be on the table if she doesn't like your answer, you think hard before uttering sound.
With the exception of mirin and/or sesame oil you should everything for this recipe on hand (any med/lg supermarket should carry them though and they are worth having)


Asparagus and pork stir fry   adapted from bon appetit
serves 3 - 4

1 lb ground pork (I used honey garlic sausage, casing removed)
1 bunch (med/small) asparagus, ends removed and cut into 2 inch strips
1 1/2 cups broccoli or brocolette using mostly the flowerettes
3 tbps sesame oil
1 tbsp lard or other oil
6 - 7 tbsp soy sauce or tamari
3 tbsp mirin (fish sauce)
3 tbsp sherry or red wine
3 heaping tbsp honey
1 veggie boullion cube
1 tsp worcestershire sauce
3 tsp corn starch
3 cloves garlic, crushed
2 tbsp fresh ginger, minced or finely grated
dash of pepper sauce or red pepper flakes
a little water in case the corn starch does it's job a little too well

In a bowl mix together the soy sauce, mirin, sherry, honey, bullion cube, worcestershire sauce, and corn starch. Whisk together and then add the crushed garlic, minced ginger and pepper sauce. mix well and set aside.
Heat a wok over medium/high heat. Add the sesame oil and other oil to the wok.
Add the ground pork to the wok breaking the meat apart as you go.
Cook for about 4 minutes
Add the asparagus and broccoli. Mix and continue to cook together for 5 minutes (turn the heat down a little if necessary)
Turn the heat down to medium and add the soy sauce mixture. Mix and continue to simmer for about 4 minutes.
Check the taste and adjust if necessary
Cool just a little before serving - goes great with rice.

We are approaching the end of the school year here.  I really cannot tell whether it's a quick approach or a ploddingly slow one.  It changes each day.  It feels like it's been so long and so much has happened throughout this school year but at the same time it's gone so fast that I haven't had a chance to catch my breath.  My brain is having trouble computing how to figure it out.
I'm not sure how I'm going to wind down from this year or whether or not I can.  It usually takes me the whole month of July to get into a different head space.  This year we've had a grade 8 graduation to prepare for (guess what - they now do a hotel dinner and dance for grade 8 graduations), an 8 year old birthday party to plan (hopefully for the last day of school), 3 major house projects to keep on top of (thank you to D for basically looking after nearly all of that) and four more birthdays to look forward to in July.  My brain is having trouble computing.

Still life with asparagus.  This is the happy graduate.

The funny thing is that you feel at loose ends with yourself for a while.  Don't know what to do next and end up just sitting on the couch for an inexplicable amount of time.  Then you move to the computer and do the same... probably not even touching the keyboard or mouse once.  Just starring at the screen.  This may happen repeatedly before a kid reminds you that they have to consume food to survive.  Damn.  Then back to couch... damn, I have no clean underwear.  Damn.  My brain can think but somehow cannot prompt my muscles to movement.  All of a sudden summer hits and  everything kind of stops and something as simple as going to a doctor appointment means I'm done for the day.  It's weird and terrifying.  Nothing, and I mean NOTHING becomes more desirable or important than reading a book and drinking a cold beer in the back yard.
These are the things that happen when summer begins.
Asparagus season is technically done and I'm slow on the draw with this one.  If you happen to live somewhere further north where asparagus is still producing then go nuts.  Otherwise, you could always consider a replacement.  Maybe broccolette or fresh green beans.  Something green though.  It needs to be green for my brain to compute it as correct.

This is definitely asparagus and chicken that you are looking at...

To illustrate how much my brain is not computing - I happily edited through all of my photos for this post until I looked back at the photos I had uploaded last week... yup - I was editing the wrong recipe the whole time. Fortunately, I caught the mistake before I posted a recipe for chicken and asparagus  with pictures of chocolate cookies.
In the meantime, I'm going to claw my way to the last day of school and let myself fall deep into couch mode for a few days.


Asparagus, Chicken and Potato Lasagna adapted from Food52

8 - 9 medium/small potatoes, thinly sliced
1/2 cup onion, diced
2 lg bunches asparagus, hard ends removed
3 cups cooked chicken, torn into med/small pieces

Sauce:
3 3/4 cup milk, warmed for about 4 minutes in the microwave
6 tbsp butter
6 tbsp all purpose flour
1 tbsp worcestershire sauce
1 tsp mustard powder
1/2 tsp nutmeg
salt to taste
1/2 cup sharp cheddar, shredded
1/3 cup parmesan, shredded

1/4 cup parmesan, shredded

Preheat oven to 350°F
Butter a 9x13 baking dish.

Heat a large, heavy bottomed sauce pan over medium heat.
Add the butter and lower the heat to med/low.  Let the butter melt completely.
Whisk in the flour and mix thoroughly with the butter.
Gradually add the warm milk, whisking constantly.
Once all the milk is added continue whisking until the mixture begins to thicken.
Add in the worcestershire, mustard powder and nutmeg.
Mix well.
Add in the cheddar and 1/3 cup parmesan.  Whisk until melted in.
Add salt to taste.

Place a single layer of the sliced potatoes on the bottom of the prepared pan.
Place about half of the asparagus spears on top of the potatoes.
Sprinkle on half of the onion.
Layer about half of the chicken.
Repeat the layering process a second time which should finish everything.
Pour the cheese sauce over everything.
Sprinkle with the remaining parmesan.
Bake covered for about 45 minutes.
Remove the cover and bake for another 35 minutes or until the mixture is bubbly and browning at the edges.

I have a few problems with pesto.
I'm a little ashamed to admit it because pesto is decent tasting and it's easy to make.
My first problem is that I never know quite what to do with it.  It's supposed to work with pasta - just tossed in pasta... and not much else.  I'm not a tossed pasta kind of person typically so that's just lost on me.  D is not much of a tossed pasta kind of person either.
I've also seen it used to coat meat.  Usually chicken.  Chicken that I'm going to stick in the oven and bake or that I'm going to cook on the stove top.  Just chicken and pesto.  I'm not much of a 'just chicken' cook.
Pesto works well on bread.  As an appetizer.  With tomato and cheese or something.  I'm not much of an appetizer cook either.
The texture is weird.  It's creamy/goopy but also leafy.  That feels odd on my tongue.
It can also be a pretty intense flavour depending on how you make it - and because I make my own it can get pretty intense.  I use a lot of parmesan.  The intensity can overwhelm easily I find and it has to be well balanced out.  I always reach for cream or a creamy cheese to add in but it does add to the richness.
As you can tell by now, even though I like the idea of making pesto I'm a little lost when it comes to using it.  This means, of course, that the pesto remains in my freezer for undetermined (read: LONG) time.  This is not good for pesto... or pretty much anything.


I'm not exactly sure that pesto and asparagus/fiddleheads are a good combination but somehow this worked.  Considering I found the pesto in the back of the freezer and it had no date on it, it's amazing that this worked at all.  At least it worked the first day.  This is not one of those baked pasta things that gets better the second day.  It gets way too dry for my taste.  I would recommend making this at a time when you have a few hungry friends coming over and maybe not when you are undergoing kitchen and house renovations.
I'm not really selling this recipe I realize but if you have the right situation to serve it in OR like a sane person make about half of the recipe then you will be fine.


Asparagus and Sausage Pesto Pasta Bake
serves 8

1 lg bunch asparagus (about 1 1/2 cups), ends removed and cut into 1 inch pieces
1 1/2 - 2 cups fiddleheads, stems removed
1/2 cup red onion, diced
1 red pepper, deseeded and thinly sliced
4 cloves garlic, crushed
3 - 4 cups spinach, washed, stems removed and coarsely chopped
1 lb sweet sausage (I used honey garlic), casings removed
1 boullion cube
1 1/2 cup pesto (I used homemade but store bought is just fine)
1/2 cup chèvre (soft goat cheese)
1 cup milk or half and half (5%)
2 tbsp worcestershire sauce
1 1/2 tbsp honey
1 tsp balsamic vinegar
pepper sauce (optional - you know I'm gonna throw in a little half tsp or so)
salt and pepper to taste
1/3 cup parmesan, finely shredded
1 cup mozzarella, shredded
3 cups cooked pasta (rotini, penne), cooked to al dente, drained (save the water though) and set aside

Preheat a large sauce pot over medium heat.
Add in about 1 1/2 tsp of olive oil.
Add the asparagus and onion, turning down the heat to med/low.
Cook together for about 4 minutes.
Add the fiddleheads, red pepper and garlic.  Cook for another 4 minutes, stirring regularly.
Add in the sausage meat and mix well, cooking together just until the meat browns.
Add in the bouillon cube and mix well.
Add in the pesto, chèvre and milk.  Mix well and let everything come back up to temperature.
Add in the worcestershire, honey and balsamic vinegar.
Add in the spinach, parmesan and 1/2 of the mozzarella.  Mix well and cook just until the spinach has wilted and the cheese has melted.
Check tastes and add salt and pepper as necessary.
Add in the cooked pasta.  Mix and add enough of the pasta water to make the mixture reasonably thin (I used probably about a half a cup)
Pour everything into a large baking dish and spread evenly.
Sprinkle the rest of the mozzarella on top of the pasta.
Bake for about 25 minutes or until the mozzarella on top is bubbling and golden brown.
Cool for about 15 minutes before serving.

Things that 13yr olds do quickly (this will be short)
1.  Eat
2.  Brush teeth
3.  Prepare lunch for school (doesn't really matter... refer to #1)
4.  Washing dishes (or any other chore that you've asked them to do... and you will probably have to redo it once they are 'done')

Things that take 13yr olds and excruciatingly long time to accomplish
1.  Getting out of bed
2.  Showering
3.  Getting dressed
4.  School projects
5.  Collecting clothes for laundry
6.  Getting information to a friend (now called texting and apparently it takes about 50 texts to get some simple homework information)
7.  Making themselves understood - because apparently that string of words (I'm pretty sure it was english but not positive) you just pelted towards me was supposed to have some meaning for me personally but it's going to take another 15 minutes of painstaking effort to break it down so that it becomes fully understood.
8.  Cleaning their room
I will end here because this list could go ad infinitum.

Kid #2 has been cleaning her room for a total of 1 1/2 weeks now.  She has thrown out as much garbage in that week and a half as our entire household would in 3 months.  The house reno has  included some work in her room and we decided to paint while we were at it (why not, right?)  This has upset her entire universe.  It meant cleaning up first and foremost.  Who would think that cleaning up a small room could take so long.  The books still have not make their way back to their shelf.  She has no room for anything (her words) but doesn't seem to understand that a closet could potentially be used to hang clothing in and not just piling things on the floor - this would help create more room elsewhere, right?  'Things fall off when I put them on the hanger'.  Yeah - probably because you are not using a hanger properly.
I don't understand why you still need to keep the broken (yes - broken) snow globe from 8 years ago.  Take a picture.
I don't understand why you are keeping the packaging from something you received as a gift 5 years ago.  It's packaging.
At the end of the day, I've decided that I really don't understand the 13yr old brain at all.  


Some things are simply not for me to understand.  What made total sense to me however was that I needed to get food into this 13 yr old belly very quickly because a low blood sugar meltdown was about to ensue.  This recipe comes together fast, tastes good and they don't have to chew it very much (refer to #1 in the 'quickly' list - digestion can be an issue).


Asparagus, red pepper and ground meat strata adapted from 'Pretty Yummy Foods'
serves 6 - 8

1/2 cup onion, diced
two bunches of asparagus, ends removed and cut into about 1 1/2 inch strips
1 cup red pepper, medium slices
3 cloves garlic, crushed
1 lb ground meat (I used a mix of beef, pork and lamb)
1 1/2 boullion cubes
2 tbsp worcestershire sauce
3 tbsp honey
1 tbsp oregano
1 tbsp marjoram
1 tbsp chives
1 1/2 tsp salt
water
4 thick slices of bread, cut into 1 1/2 inch cubes
1 1/2 cups cheddar (I used old cheddar) shredded
6 eggs
1 1/2 cups milk

Preheat oven to 350° F.
Butter a 9x13 baking dish and set aside.
Heat a large, heavy bottomed pot over medium heat.
Turn the heat down to medium/low and add about 2 tbsp of olive oil. Add in the onion.  Cook for a couple of minutes and add the red pepper, garlic and ground meat.  Cook together for about 8 minutes or until the ground meat is almost cooked through (you will need to stir regularly to break up the ground meat).
Add in the asparagus strips and mix well.  Cook for another 4 minutes.
Add in the bouillon cubes, worcestershire sauce, honey, oregano, marjoram, chives and salt.  Mix well and add just enough water (about 3 - 4 tbsp) to keep everything from sticking and pull anything off of the bottom of the pot.  Check for taste and adjust if necessary then turn the heat off under the pot and set aside.
In the baking dish add the cubed bread and 1 cup of the shredded cheese.  Toss to mix.
In another bowl whisk together the eggs and milk.
Add the egg mixture to the bread.  Mix well.
Add the asparagus mixture to the egg/bread stuff.  Mix well.
Sprinkle the rest of the cheese over the top.
Bake for about 30 minutes or until the middle of the pan isn't liquid and the edges and top are golden brown.

I really should be sleeping and I promised myself way back in January that I wouldn't do this... write while not having enough sleep.  But sometimes sleep is overrated and there is too much to do in a day.  So even though my eyes really want to close I'm finding myself compelled (it's the best word I can find right now) to continue typing away.
Sleep has been somewhat elusive lately.  It's not that I'm having trouble sleeping - I hit the pillow and I'm out.  It's that I haven't been getting to the pillow for long enough.  Keeping all the balls in the air while D has been gone has taken it's toll.  In a bizarre twist of fate the last month or so of my teaching at home has been picking up.  The timing has just been bad what with May already just being out of control.  So it seems fitting that I write this post at some ridiculous hour of the night and tell you that I made this stuff over two nights.


Had to be over two nights.  The first night I made the bread.  I burnt it.  I decided to make it after taking kid #1 to choir rehearsal.  I kind of wasn't thinking about having to pick her back up from choir rehearsal though and by the time I got home the bread had over risen just slightly.  It was also dark outside and I had to use a flashlight while grilling the bread.  I've discovered that flashlights aren't the best for catching grilled flatbread before it burns.  Live and learn.  I cooled the flat bread and stored it for the night.
The next night I was teaching at home and then taking kid #2 to soccer, teaching a little more and then picking up kid #2 from soccer.  In between there somewhere I finished the topping and somehow managed to grill it before soccer.  I didn't get to eat it until about 3 hours later though when I had a chance to breath.
Burned flatbread isn't the best.  In fact, it's quite close to bad.  However, I find when you throw pesto and goat cheese on pretty much anything it has this amazing effect.  It's restorative.  It's like coconut milk.  Whatever you've made could completely bite but adding this stuff brings it right back to fantastic.  Thank you - because this would have been a disaster otherwise.  The topping is the easy part.  You just need some time to do the grilling.


At the end of the day this stuff tasted really good.  I got kinda excited about it.  I'm pretty sure that I've seen someone out there in cyber space doing something like this but I couldn't find a site to credit at the time so I just went out there and winged it (? - sleep).  Aside from being a total goof about timing the bread was easy and it's worth it to make your own.  I added Red Fife flour to mine and it turned out great (minus the burning) and there is so much less salt and sugar when you make your own.  In times of great heat and more time this kind of meal is totally perfect.
Goodnight.


Red Fife Flat Bread adapted from 'Completely Delicious'

2 1/2 tsp yeast
1 cup warm water
1/4 cup sugar less 2 tbsp sugar
3 tbsp milk
1 lg egg, beaten
1 1/2 cup Red Fife flour
1 1/2 cup all purpose flour
1/4 cup (ish) unsalted butter, melted

Combine the warm water and yeast together with half of the sugar.  Stir and set aside in a warm place to rise for about 10 minutes.  Once the yeast stuff is foamy add in the milk and egg.  Mix just until combined.
Add in both the flours.  Mix until it forms a dough ball.  Add another 1/4 - 1/2 cup of flour if the dough is too wet to knead.
Place dough on a lightly floured surface.  Knead until the dough is smooth and silky.  About 6 - 8 minutes.
Place the dough into a lightly buttered bowl.  Cover with a clean cloth and set in a warm, draft free place to rise for about 1 1/2 hrs or until doubled in size.
Punch down.  Divide the dough into however many balls you want to have as flatbread pieces.  Set onto a lightly greased cookie sheet.  Cover with a clean cloth and let rise for another hour or until doubled in size.
Just before the dough is finished it's second rise, begin to preheat the grill.  I put mine at medium or so which got the grill to between 400 and 500 degrees F.
On a very lightly floured surface roll out each dough ball to about 1 1/2 - 2 inch thickness.  Brush one side of each disc with melted butter.  Grill the bread (buttered side down) for 4 minutes or so.  Brush the top side with butter and grill for about 4 minutes.  Bread should be just golden and have some grill marks.
Remove each disc from the heat and wrap in a cloth until time to use (if using the next day then place then entire mess - cloth and all - in an airtight container).

For the topping:

20 - 25 spears of asparagus, stems removed
1 cup (or so) goat chevre
1 - 1 1/2 cup mozzarella
1 - 1 1/2 cup pesto (I used homemade but store bought is fine)

Bring a large pot with about 2 cups water to a boil.  Add the asparagus and simmer for about 4 minutes.  Remove the asparagus and set aside.
Heat up the grill again, this time to med/high.
Spread some pesto over each flatbread disc.  You can eyeball it.  Assemble and arrange the asparagus over the pesto.  Dollop spoonfuls of the goat cheese here and there.  Sprinkle with the mozzarella.
Place on a cookie sheet.
Grill for about 5 minutes or until the cheese is bubbling but the edges aren't burnt.
Remove and cool slightly.  Cut (or not) and enjoy.  I sprinkled some fresh greens on mine and then went for it.  Yup - it works.

I hate it when bloggers write this: 'I want to thank you all for waiting so patiently.  I know it's been hard.  I'm pretty sure that this blog has become a big part of what gives your life meaning.  You've probably been waiting with bated breath (for the meaning of that phrase check here).  I didn't mean to spurn you or to shut you out.  It's just, I was busy.'  Whatever people.  We don't really care that it's been 2 weeks since you posted.  We like it when you do but we're not dying when you don't.  Suck it up and move on.  Having said that, I have had posts to put up here but I just couldn't get to it... because, well...

I went with 89 boys (ages 9 - 12) on tour to Ottawa.  We did 3 concerts, 1 Mass and 1 national anthem in 3 days.  That's a lot of singing for these guys.  We performed at a national choral symposium called Podium - which is a huge honour for these boys.  We went to the Museum of Civilization in between.  We performed our National Anthem in the Rotunda of our Parliament buildings.  In case you were wondering, getting 89 boys and accompanying teacher/chaperones through security in one piece isn't nearly as stress free as it sounds.  We also managed to fit some mini-putt and go-carting in there too.  All in all it was a pretty big deal for these young boys.  They were happy and exhausted by the end of the weekend.  As fun as it all was it was beyond exhausting.  I've been finding that this week at work I'm fine for the morning but by the afternoon I hit a wall that it's really hard to peel myself off of.
To add insult to injury, D has left for 10 days off to Europe.  One of the bands he plays in is doing a tour of France/Germany/Holland.  Lucky.  I'm home with the kids juggling work and end of year concert craziness.


I've decided not to get stressed out.  I've told myself that it's just that easy.  If I tell myself that I'm not getting stressed out then I won't.  I'm not thinking about my garden and all the crap that I haven't gotten to yet.  I haven't freaked out that my tomatoes aren't planted or that I haven't gotten my potatoes started - a project that I really want to get into.  I'll keep you up on that one.  I'm just rolling with the rhubarb that is sitting in the fridge looking forlorn and the recipe binder that contains all those gorgeous rhubarb recipes is still closed and on the bookshelf.  It's all going to happen.  It's just going to have to happen on a different timeline than the one that I would like to have.  I've decided to stay positive.


I've looked at the computer.  I've gone through the motions of checking some things and doing some recipe research and all that but I haven't even had the energy to think about putting the fingers to the keys and getting some words out.  Until now.  This weeks food box brought me two beautiful bunches of locally grown asparagus.  Gorgeous.  It also brought some more stinging nettles, baby leeks, baby spinach and fiddleheads but we'll not go into all that just now.  I saw this recipe in my favourite BBC GoodFood magazine and decided to try it out.  I think that honestly I would add a little more flavour to the boullion/broth - maybe an extra cube of boullion or a little dijon or both.  That kind of thing - and a little extra parmesan.  The recipe though turned out well and it's beyond easy.  Just do a little saute, stirring, throwing in oven and stirring again.


Baked Asparagus and Stinging Nettles Risotto adapted from BBC GoodFood Magazine
serves 6 - 8

4 cups Stinging Nettles (or spinach), stems remove and coarsely chopped
25 or so asparagus (two small bunches) with the hard bottom part taken off
1/2 cup onion (I used baby leek) chopped or diced
2 rashers bacon, diced
2 1/4 cups arborio rice
4 1/2 cups warm boullion (I used veggie)
1 cup cream
1 tbsp basil
1 tbsp oregano
2 tsp salt
pinch pepper
1 tsp pepper sauce (optional)
1 cup parmesan, shredded plus a little extra to sprinkle on the top

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
Get a large, shallow baking dish out (I used a large 9x13 pyrex dish) and ready.
Heat a large pot over medium heat and saute together the chopped nettles, bacon and the onion in about 3 tbsp of the oil of your choice for about 4 - 5 minutes.  Turn the heat off.  Mix in the arborio rice, stir a little so that the rice is coated well.  Pour the rice mixture into the baking dish.
In another bowl mix together the heated boullion, basil, oregano, salt and pepper.
Pour the boullion mixture into the baking dish and stir well to combine everything.  Carefully place the baking dish in the heated oven and bake for 15 minutes.
Remove the baking dish from the oven.  Give everything a good stir.  Add in the cream and the parmesan (reserving a little parmesan to sprinkle over the top) and stir again to mix.  Place the asparagus over the risotto mixture.  You can get creative here but I was in a hurry and went the easy route.
Sprinkle with the reserved parmesan cheese.
Bake for another 15 minutes.  Check that the rice is done.
Cool slightly and serve.

I've started watching this show called 'Luther'.  It's a BBC show.  As you might have read in earlier posts, I've stopped watching a whole lot of tv.  I've got netflix and I don't mind paying for my tv if I really want to watch something.  Otherwise, cable tv at the moment is just not giving me what I'm looking for.  Now the BBC is something completely different.  If that's what tax supported tv is all about then I'm in.  All in. 100%.  It's a good think that I don't live in the UK because I'm 90% sure I would get pretty much nothing done other than keeping my couch company while I watched tv.
Either way, Luther is about a dude... ack, I'm not going to get into the whole thing now.  You can look it up.  I'm blown away.  It's providing me with all kinds of teachable moments.  Deep thoughts.  Words to ponder.  I don't really know if it's meant to do that or if it's just where I am in life that is causing some things to resonate deeply for me.  In the last episode of season 1 (which I just finished) Alice, this brilliant sociopath/friend of Luther's, rhyme's off the finding of some or other study that she has read about which kind of blew me away.

Three self delusions most people hold to:
1. Implausibly positive view of themselves.
2. That the future will be better for them than evidence of the present can possibly justify.
3. That they have far more control over their lives than they really do.

Number 3 was profound for me.  Number 2 wasn't far behind but Number 3 was the front runner.  I started thinking about what would happen if we all stopped trying so hard to control our lives.  To gain more control, to feel in control.  In fact, one of the major goals in life for me up to know would have to be gaining control.  It's a big part of what defines me - probably all of us.  But what if it's a delusion or a facade.  When you think about it, the things that we do to 'gain control' really just isolate us.  The only way that we could be truly in control would be to live in a vacuum.  What would happen if we accepted that a whole lot of things were beyond our control and just lived our life without the worry.
I know that the whole thing seems kind of bleak but I'm not going for a defeatest kind of thing here.  The opposite is what's in my head.  Something liberating.  Something that doesn't confine me to searching for this illusive 'control' thing.  That frees me to just 'be'.  After reading this book about how seeking to 'control' our food supply and therefor moving from a hunter/gatherer society to an agrarian one has had permanent and damaging effects on our DNA or psyche and our environment, I'm completely willing to believe that 'control' is just an illusion.  However, unlike the brilliant,sociopathic and paper-created 'Alice', I have a full life with kids and jobs and stuff and it's getting in the way of me lying in the grass to think at the moment.  This conversation is going to be rolling around in my head for quite a while...


It's spring and in spring ferns start to grow and if you are a heartless forager then you pick those fern strands before they have a chance to become something inedible.  They taste amazing and probably make you DNA correct itself or something but they taste great so who cares.  Just be warned that when you eat a lot of asparagus your pee really smells weird.  So if you pee and you think that maybe you've come down with some terrible disease because the smell is so overwhelmingly weird and disturbing then just ask yourself if just maybe you had some asparagus say about 2 hrs or so before that.  If so... don't worry, You're Fine.


Asparagus and Fiddle Head Pasta adapted from 'Simply in Season'
serves 4 - 6

4 cups fiddle heads (any brown parts of the stems removed)
3 cups asparagus (bottoms removed and then cut into 1 1/2 inch sections)
1/2 cup onion
3 tbsp fresh lemon juice
3/4 cup milk (I mixed regular milk and some cream together)
2 eggs
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 cup parmesan cheese, shredded
5 cups pasta (I used penne - rigatoni would be nice too) cooked al dente, drained and set aside
1/2 cup reserved pasta water

Heat a largish pot over medium heat, add a little oil.  Add in the onion, the asparagus and fiddleheads.  Turn the heat down just a little.  Stir regularly so that it doesn't burn and turn down the heat if necessary.  The asparagus and fiddleheads should sear just a bit.  This should take about 7 - 10 minutes.
In a bowl mix together the eggs and milk using a whisk until the eggs are completely mixed into the milk.  Add the lemon juice and salt to the milk mixture.
Once the asparagus/fiddleheads mixture is seared sufficiently turn the heat down to low and add in the milk/egg mixture.  Stir well.  Allow the mixture to heat for another 5 minutes or so.  Do not let the mixture come to a boil.  Add in the parmesan cheese and let the sauce heat for another few minutes to let the cheese melt.
Once the cheese has melted add the cooked pasta and toss with the sauce.  Add in the reserved pasta water just until the sauce get to the consistency that you are happy with.
Serve immediately.  Sprinkle with a little more parmesan and/or chili flakes if you choose.

I think that I need to learn how to 'tie in'.  Lately I've been sucking at it.
My last post, for example, had nothing to do with the recipe.  I didn't even explain the recipe.  Was there even food?  I talked about tv, about maybe not watching tv for a while and complimenting a kid in a way that sounded like it was an insult but it wasn't.  A proper blog should tie everything together.  Start by writing something interesting that pulls all you readers in and then expertly steers the writing to the recipe of the day.
I seem to want to use this blog as my journal or something similar.  In theory I like the idea of that.  In practice however it's kinda weird.  I have had a lot of journal years in my life.  It's awesome having a journal and it's especially awesome going back to your journals year later. Is journal writing a girlie thing - that concerns me.  I used to write a lot of crap in my journal that absolutely nobody should ever read.  Remember when you wrote in your journal (maybe you still do) the stuff that you needed to get out... about life, your friends, your parents, your boyfriend.  How you really felt about all that crap you were supposed to do but were fighting with still because you were 16 yrs old and just not ready to take it all on?  Or how about the stream of conscious ramblings.  The stuff that, when you go back to it years later, not even you can get your head around what you were trying to articulate.  Yeah... that's what I still do sometimes.  Only I do it out here, in public (well kinda public).  I wonder if I were you would I read me.  So I'm going to try to be better.  A proper food blogger and not a self-absorbed-journal-writing-wanna-be.

Fingers crossed.  Here is my 'tie in' attempt:

A while ago I promised you all yet another asparagus recipe AND my last for the season (wiping away a tear).  I know that you've all been waiting with baited breath for this and I've been holding out on you.  Asparagus is amazing.  Asparagus is green.  It tastes good when you cook it and you can cook it many different ways.  I like asparagus.  The asparagus season is short but you can make pasta in any season (ok, that was random - I'll give you that one).  If you like asparagus, garlic, mushrooms, spinach, pasta and cheese then maybe this is just the recipe for you.  It was easy.  It was FUN and it was tasty.  Try it and it will change your life forever.  If you have kids they will write for your and paint you awesome pictures.  If you make this for your partner he/she will never leave and your life with him/her will be 10/10 all the time.  Asparagus is the best.

I got so jazzed about this stuff that I put some in Kid #2's bowl and ate it straight up.

What do you think?  I'm not sure that this translated well.


Quick Asparagus, Spinach Pasta
serves 4

1 lg bunch asparagus, chopped into long chunks
3 cloves garlic (or garlic scapes if we're goin' the seasonal route), crushed or minced
3 cups mushrooms, halved
4 cups spinach roughly chopped
paprika
4 tbsp herbs (I used basil, parsley, chives and oregano) - using fresh herbs, about 1/2 cup, chopped
2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cayenne or pepper sauce
1 cup cream
1/2 cup parmesan cheese, grated

Heat a large pot over medium heat.
Add about 2 tbsp of oil.  Throw in the asparagus, garlic and mushrooms.  Keep it moving in the pan and cook for about 6 minutes.
Add in the spinach.  Stirring regularly, let the spinach wilt.  Add in the paprika, herbs and salt.
Add the cayenne or pepper (if you want to go there)
Turn the heat down to low.
Add in the cream and the grated parmesan.
Check the taste and adjust if necessary.
Serve over pasta (I like the penne kind but go with your heart on this one).

Anticipation.
It's in the air right now.  It's palpable.  You can slice it with a knife.
We are all waiting right now.  It's almost the end of school.  The high school boys at my school are already done and writing exams.  Another gr. 12 class is graduating (I'll miss these ones - they're a nice group of guys).  The elementary's are in school for another week or so and we're just putting in time.  These guys are ready to go.
At home, we are waiting too.  Waiting for school to finish.  Waiting for some fun to begin.  Waiting for the garden to grow.  Waiting for visits from far away friends.  Waiting for my BFF to get home from her vacation.


We are also waiting for a new season to kick in as well.  Summer temperatures are not quite here yet.  The spring garden season is beginning to ebb now.  Fiddleheads... done.  Rhubarb... done.  Garlic Scapes... almost done.  This will be my last week for asparagus and what a run we've had.  I've got another bunch to go so I'll be coming up with another recipe but this one turned out very nicely.  It's like the harvest lull before the storm.  My beans and tomatoes (let's please not talk about my stupid-ass carrot and zucchini seed fiasco) and going crazy so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it turns into real food at some point in the near future.  If I can get tomatoes, beans, herbs and raspberries from my garden this year I will be happy enough.


So I plan.  My summer reading list.  Summer concerts.  Getting ready to start training for an October marathon.  Getting summer camps down (just one happening this summer so it's easy).  What I'm going to do with all my beans and tomatoes (yeah, right).


Asparagus, Spinach and Rice Casserole
serves 6

2 bunches of asparagus, hard ends snapped of and then cut in half (like cutting down a tree)
1 onion
1/4 cup of garlic scapes, chopped OR 3 cloves of garlic, minced
1 large bunch of spinach (at least 4 cups), roughly chopped
2 cups rice
4 cups vegetable broth
1/2 cup mixed fresh herbs, chopped
dash of cayenne (or pepper sauce)
dash of mustard powder
salt just to taste
3/4 cup Parmesan shredded
1/2 sour cream

First saute the asparagus in a little oil for about 6 - 7 minutes over medium heat.  Remove from heat and set aside.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Heat a large pot or dutch oven and add some oil (2 - 3 tbsp).  Throw in the onion and garlic scapes.  Saute those in the oil for about 5 - 7 minutes or until the onion is limp beginning to caramelize.
Add in the  Rice and swish the rice in the oil and veggies until the rice is nicely coated.  Add in the veggie broth and mix.  Cook for about 6 minutes over med/low heat.
Remove from the heat and add in the herbs, mustard powder, pepper sauce (if you are me) and salt.  Mix well.
Add in a 1/2 cup of the parmesan cheese and all the sour cream.  Mix well.
Pour the rice mixture into a largish baking dish.
Arrange the sauteed asparagus over the top of the rice mixture.  Sprinkle with the remaining parmesan cheese.
Bake for about 25 min or until the parmesan is just beginning to brown.
Cool for a few minutes before serving.

I read a comment from another blog recently.  The writer was making note of the changes in food presentation and ultimately in the food that we are making these days.  It's homier.  It's stew, it's curry, it's a mess on a plate.  We've turned ever so slowly from making food with ingredients that we have to source from expensive grocers and begun to appreciate a simpler way... and with it we get the pictures of  food ladled on a plate in a big glop.
I kinda like it though.  It's simple.  It's the way I cook.  It's the way I've always cooked and the way I prefer to cook.  I feel like I want to go out for fancy food.  I'm going to pay for the whole experience of it.  I love the creativity that you get from a high end restaurant and the appreciation for the whole experience beginning to end.  However, I don't feel the need to cook that way at home.  Plus, I want leftovers.  If I had to cook every single night I would have done something awful to myself way before now.  I like leftovers and some things taste better as leftovers than they did the day they were made.  Also, I don't have the time or the techniques to pull it all off successfully - and mistakes can be expensive when you are talking about fancy stuff.
I'm at that stage of life when I don't feel like I need to apologize for who I am.  I don't want to have to pretend that I'm something other than that.  I want what I want and that's the end of it.
This dish is nothing new necessarily.  Who hasn't  read about asparagus risotto before?  You know what though?  It's good.  It works.  It's not too difficult.  It makes leftovers.  It's homey.


On a different note, I'm totally enjoying the spring veggies that are taking the starring role right now.  After a long winter of root veggies and squash it's so wonderful to have the greens again and the short lived fiddleheads.  I think that this is my last batch of fiddleheads for the season and I've probably just got one more week of asparagus.  I love the cyclical nature of it all and I feel renewed.  So I'm going to go and plop some food on my plate (leftovers at that) and enjoy every second of my spring veggies with creamy rice and cheese and say a big thank you for it all.


Asparagus, Fiddlehead and Sausage Risotto
serves 4 - 6

2 cups (less about 2 tbsp) arborio rice
4 cups warm vegetable (or chicken) broth
2 cups (1 bunch) asparagus, ends off and chopped into large chunks
2 1/2 cup fiddleheads, cut into 1 1/2 pieces or so
1/2 cup chives, chopped
4 large sausages (mild), sliced thin (feel free to use less or even leave them out)
1 cup (or just under) cream
salt
3/4 cup parmesan cheese, shredded

Heat a large, heavy bottomed sauce pan over med heat.
Add in about 3 tbsp of oil and add in the asparagus and fiddleheads.  Saute in the oil for about 5 minutes.
Add the rice and stir well so that the rice is coated with the oil.
Begin to add the heated broth one ladleful at a time.  Stir well and make sure that the liquid remains simmering the whole time.  You might want to turn down the heat to low.  Continue adding the liquid until it's all used up.
Add the sausage and stir well.
Add in the cream.


Add the salt to taste and the parmesan cheese.
Check the taste, adjust if necessary and serve.