It's interesting to note what inspires people and how inspiration and motivation can often be interpreted as one and the same thing.  Maybe they are the same thing.  In reality at least.  I think that adversity and/or the negative experiences we go through tend to inspire and motivate me more than the positive ones.  Sad but true.  I would venture to say that this is the case for more of us than we would care to admit.
The western world has been motivated to assemble in unity against terrorism and for freedom from censorship.  I had the odd experience of all of this outcry not quite sitting right with me.  Not being sure exactly why I felt odd about it, I started to let myself dwell on the situation and the issues that have arisen around the Paris incident.  Rolling it around, here is where my thoughts have gone up to now:
 - Is freedom from censorship the same thing as freedom of speech?
 - We talk about how powerful words are all of the time.  Our words affect people and can illicit a strong response - sometimes we can determine that outcome and sometimes we can't.  When does what we say become translated as hate?
 - We censor ourselves all of the time - every single day.  Journalists, artists, writers, researchers... you name it.  That censorship is based on the acceptable social norms currently in existence.  There are certain people groups and religious groups that I would never even consider writing negatively about.  However, that might not have been the case 75 short years ago.
 - No one should have to die for the things that those in the Charlie Hebdo offices died for.  Full stop.

I started to articulate what I was thinking to D.  I thought that maybe I was crazy to even be thinking this way.  Turns out that D, while not asking exactly the same questions, was definitely rolling things around as well.  He forwarded this article to me from The Intercept.  As I was reading it, I found myself feeling so thankful that I wasn't alone in feeling odd about this whole thing, I wasn't crazy either and that someone out there had managed to articulate their thoughts in a much more logical and concise way than I could have.  I'm not done stewing about this for sure but there are other things that are just as concerning... what about these guys?  Shall we march?


Look, cookies certainly are not at the top of the news food chain.  World crisis will not be widely affected by the baking of two more dozen cookies.  Still I make cookies.  Maybe I bake cookies for the same reason others watch reality tv or awards shows - for the record, I can't even force myself to sit through either one.  We do it to feel normal.  We do it because it helps us lose ourselves in something else.
Full disclosure:  I found that the cookies I made were a little too clementine overwhelmed.  The maple will be subtle no matter what (sometimes I wonder why I use maple syrup at all when I'm baking) but mine just turned into clementine cookies with a couple of weird bacon sprinkles on the top.  I have adjusted the amount of zest accordingly... feel free to add vanilla as well to round it out more.


Clementine, bacon and maple (?!) sugar cookies adapted from here
makes about 2 dozen

2 cups icing sugar
1 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
1 lg egg
1 tsp grated clementine or orange zest (no more than that!)
3 cups all purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp salt
dash of nutmeg
2 tbsp maple syrup

1 egg white
1 1/2 cups icing sugar
1 tsp maple syrup
3 strips bacon - cooked until very crisp, drained and broken into small pieces

Combine the flour, salt and nutmeg together and set aside.
In a large bowl combine the icing sugar and butter.  Beat together until creamy.
Add the egg and clementine zest and continue to beat until light and fluffy.
Continue to beat on low and slowly add the flour mixture.  Beat only until combined.
Divide the dough into two portions.  Roll each portion into 3 inch round logs.  Cover each in plastic wrap and refrigerate for about 12 hours.
Preheat oven to 370°F
Line a cookie sheet with parchment or a silicon liner.
Slice each log into 1/4 inch discs.  Place the discs on the lined cookie sheet leaving some room between each for spreading while baking.
Bake for about 7 - 8 minutes.
Remove cookies to a wire rack to cool.

Icing:
Beat together the egg white, icing sugar and maple syrup until creamy.
Pour about a tsp of icing on top of each cookie and immediately sprinkle with a little of the bacon (might want to press the bacon down just a little to wedge it into the icing)
Leave cookies for a while to let the icing get solid.

Having just had a week off I've been wrestling with this nagging issue in my mind.  I found myself, throughout the week, hard pressed for energy to think of something to do that didn't involve getting to a store to pick up things that the kids were needing or plunking myself in front of a screen.  Sure, I can chock it up to exhaustion.  I can blame the crappy, cold weather and lack of sun.  Suffice it to say that it was all I could do to keep up a reasonable yoga and running schedule throughout the week and plan one other thing in the day.


Thank goodness for this book which I've been devouring (although I have to slow myself down sometimes to really take it in).  I'm not just pushing the book because the author is Canadian but because he's also kick-ass deep. Throughout the week I was reading his chapter on the image and the power of the image.  J.R.S. went succinctly through a look at western religious art and the transformations that it went through up to about DaVinci when the 3D reality kicked in.  He talks about how artists were looking for the moment of epiphany when that reality was created... except the epiphany didn't quite happen.  The paradigm didn't shift epically like they thought it would.  And then the still photo was invented and that kind of kicked paintings butt.  A perfect image of whatever it was the photographer wanted to capture.  Further still was the moving picture.  But something happened in all of that 'reality' and along the way the reality of the photo and the moving picture wasn't reality at all.  It was illusion.  It was set up.  It was doctored.  Now, we live by the moving picture.  It informs us in every way about ourselves - our looks, our expectations, our beliefs.  J.R. Saul even goes as far to say that tv is our new religion.  It's the one thing that we do, in the western world at least, ritualistically and en masse.  Except it's all staged.
It got me thinking a lot about how much screen I take in.  It got me thinking about how much I see people talking about tv shows on FB, on their blogs or in everyday conversation.  It's how we talk about it too.
'I've got to make sure I catch the new episode of...'
'I can't believe what they just wrote into that story line...'
'I can't stand that character'
'My PVR only records 2 shows at a time.  How am I going to catch everything'
I don't have either cable or satellite.  The channels we get come through our rooftop antenna.  I don't miss cable.  I don't think that I've ever even considered getting it again and that was about 5 years ago.  But I still watch my fair share of shows and it's still crap.  It's still written in this stilted, formulaic manner.  It's still played by actors who must look a certain way for everything to work.  It still wraps up into a neat little package that leaves you with a feeling of satisfaction but the desire to experience the same banal comfort next week.  Reality tv... worse.  News.... the worst.
I'm going to work toward becoming more aware of what's in front of me all the time.  I'm not going to say 'that's it - I'm cutting it out' because that's not just unrealistic, it's unsustainable.  I think that the key is awareness.


During my week off I also decided to get serious about varying my cooking again.  It's so easy to get in ruts.  My ruts include cream, parmesan cheese, greens and pasta.  That's ain't half bad.  There is, however, only so much of that one family can take.  I made some Trini Stewed Pork and this is the stuff that we made with it.  Callaloo looks kinda gross and goopy but once you put it in your mouth you realize you haven't yet lived until that very moment.  It's amazing, beautiful stuff.  It's also good for you and if you can't find Dasheen leaf you can always try substituting with spinach.  You will get quite a different taste so you might have to adjust a bit but it's still absolutely worth it.

Trini Callaloo adapted from 'Naparima Girls High School Cookbook'

I went to my first professional basketball game this week and I was totally... BORED.  It may have had something to do with the fact that I had been working my ass off for the entire day because we were the choir singing the national anthems at the games.  It might have had something to do with me not sleeping well for a couple of nights prior to the game.  It might also just be that I'm not into that kind of thing.  The only game I seem to find any pleasure at all in watching is soccer (known as football by the rest of the world) and even that is pushing it.
It got me thinking about how bored I got watching baseball and even (dare I say it) hockey.  The weird thing is that I do like sports.  I even think of myself as somewhat athletic.  So much so that I wonder if the current 'Me' went back to high school now 'Me' might consider trying out for volleyball or track or something.  That's saying something.  What I find when I'm watching a game from the stands of these huge arena's is that I am so far removed from the game itself, it's so far away, that I don't invest.  I'm not connected to it at all.  There are so many people watching and we're all so far away and it starts and stops so much and so many of us are moving around and talking and leaving to pee and going to buy junk food that I can't focus.  There is the constant drone of the announcer and the lights flashing on the jumbotron.  It's too much for me.
And then I don't know the game well and I certainly don't know the players.  I'm out there at Centre Court for sound check with the players all warming up around us and watching our high school boys freaking out and thinking that this would probably be pretty meaningful if I had a clue who these guys were.  It seemed funny to me.  The highlight of the night was seeing that a well known Canadian actress was sitting court side (they gave her some flowers and a stuffed mascot toy - we could only see it on the jumbotron).  Realising that this was the highlight for me pretty much sealed it.  Yup - I'm not meant for this kind of stuff.


So if you were thinking about buying some season's tickets for a hockey/soccer/basketball/baseball team in the city you might want to reconsider.  I'd be pretty happy that you thought of me and might feel a sense of obligation to attend some of those games just because you spent the money on me but I wouldn't enjoy it much.  I really enjoyed the moment when D and I realised we just wanted to leave early and go home for a beer... which is exactly what we did.



This, of course, has nothing to do with the recipe that you will find below.  That's because there is no cool story for this recipe.  This recipe isn't really glamorous or cool.  It's just good and kinda healthy because it's using cooked cauliflower in place of the flour.  I don't know, maybe that is kinda cool.


Cauliflower Alfredo Sauce adapted from 'cupcakes and kale'
makes about 4 cups of sauce

3 1/2 cups cauliflower pieces
1 cup onion, sliced
4 med cloves garlic
1 can (about 1 cup) white beans, drained and rinsed
1 cup cream
3/4 cups milk
2 tsp salt
2 boullion cubes
1/2 tsp paprika
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp honey
1/2 - 3/4 cup parmesan cheese, grated

4 cups cooked pasta of choice (I used cooked penne)
4 cups veggies - I used greens (kale and chard mixture) - steamed until wilted or softened
3 slices of bacon (optional), diced
1 1/2 cups mushrooms, halved
1/3 cup walnuts, coarsely chopped

Bring a large, heavy bottomed pot to a boil with about 3/4 cup of water (approx).  Add in the cauliflower pieces, turn the heat down to med/low and cover.  Cook for about 15 - 20 minutes or until the cauliflower is softened and mashable.  Drain and set aside.
In a large dutch oven or heavy bottomed pot heat about 3 tbsp of oil over medium heat.  Add in the onion and cook for about 4 minutes.  Add in the garlic and cook for about 3 minutes together.  Add in the white beans.  Turn the heat down to low.
Add the cauliflower, milk and stir well.  Using a hand blender or pouring the whole thing into a regular blender, puree until the whole thing forms a sauce consistency.  Making it as smooth and consistent as possible.
Add in the cream, salt, boullion, paprika, nutmeg, honey and parmesan.  Mix until the parmesan has melted in.  Check the tastes and adjust if necessary.

To make the casserole:
Heat a large frying pan over medium heat and add the bacon.  Cook about two minutes or until just beginning to get brown.  Add in the mushrooms (and the greens if you don't want to steam them) and cook for about 4 minutes.
Combine the cooked pasta with the bacon and veggie mixture.  Toss to combine and pour into a large baking dish or serving bowl.
Pour the sauce over the pasta mixture and stir well.
Sprinkle with a little additional parmesan and the chopped walnuts.
serve.

The house is quiet.  Amazingly, Blessedly quiet.  I've been longing for quiet lately.  It's a craving in my gut.  I can't think of a time in my life when the noise of life has felt like such a heavy weight to bear.  At 6:30 p.m. last evening I went to my room - like a teenager.  I went there by myself.  I curled up in bed and read some.  Then my eyes felt heavy and I let myself doze a little.  After that I read some more.  I didn't feel like eating more than I felt like staying put.  So I stayed put.  Every time the door to my room opened the noise felt deafening, jarring.  I didn't want to interact. No questions, thank you very much, because I'll feel coerced to answer.  No music.  No voices from a computer screen or tv coming at me.  I even turned a fan on in my room so that I couldn't hear anything from the floor below.  I stayed in my room until 8:30 a.m. this morning.
I'm not sure if I'm an extrovert or an introvert and to be quite frank, I don't care.  I get impatient with labels (I'm remembering, back in the early nineties, a friend of mine peddling and pushing personality tests like doing it would get me into heaven) because I think that it can prevent us from truly listening to our 'self' and to what we need at any given time.  It can also excuse a hell of a lot of behaviour that we should in all honesty seek to change.  So this weekend I'm an introvert.  Next weekend or even tomorrow, I might be an extrovert.  Maybe not today but on another day and in a moment of gritty honesty I would tell you that I'm some of both and that I think we all are.  I would also add that it's probably really important that we are all some combination of both.  Can we allow this duality to exist within our 'self' (I'm not sure why I'm putting that word into quotes but it seems like the right thing to do at this moment).


Admittedly, I'm not comfortable with duality.  We've been socially conditioned for generations now to avoid it.  All black or white.  Not a blend and never both.  It's wrong politically.  It's wrong religiously. It's wrong morally... and all that.  I'm working on relearning those ideas.  I'm working on feeling okay about how much I squirm when faced with it.  I'm working on embracing the idea of needing that duality.  We need to have both right and left in our society and in ourselves.  We need each other.  We need the happy and the sad, the good and the bad.  It gives us the depths of feeling, emotion and appreciation that connect us together.  We need *ahem* the black and the white.  And we need the quiet and the loud. Today I'm happily hugging up the quiet.  We're drinking each other in with gusto.


There are certain constants for me though and the desire to get my hands dirty both outside in the garden and inside the kitchen doesn't change.  Whatever the emotional place I'm in, the getting of my hands dirty feeds it in the best of ways.  Given that my sweet potatoes were nearly on the outs and that I had been meaning to make something like this for a long time, today was the the perfect day to dive into the project.  These definitely make a winter meal and would go beautifully with some kind of braised meat.  I choose to serve mine with some winter greens and bacon.  The greens are definitely a must, the bacon definitely optional.  I've cooked up enough for all of us to have a taste and then I put the rest (uncooked) into the freezer.  I still didn't feel much like eating today but I did down some of these and I'm the better for it.


Sweet Potato Gnocchi adapted from Aida Mollencamp
serves 6 - 8

3 med sized sweet potatoes, halved
2 med/sm russet potatoes, halved
oil of choice
2 tsp + a sprinkling of salt
dash or two of pepper
1/2 cup parmesan, grated
1 egg, beaten
1/2 cup whole wheat (or Red Fife) flour
1 - 1 1/2 cups unbleached, all purpose flour

Heat oven to 350°F.
Rub the halved sweet potato and regular potatoes with oil, sprinkle with salt and roast on a roasting pan for about 30 minutes or until soft.  Remove from oven and cool.  Scoop the insides of the sweet potatoes and potatoes into a bowl.  Mash with a masher, forks or a hand blender (that's what I used).
Add in the 2 tsp of salt and a dash or two of pepper.  Mix and add the parmesan cheese, beaten egg, the whole wheat flour and about 3/4 - 1 cup of all purpose flour.  Mix well.  If the dough is still damp but doesn't stick to your hand then it's fine and you don't need to add any more flour.
Turn out onto a lightly floured surface.  Form the dough into a square(ish) kind of shape and slice into about 8 logs.  Flour your hands and roll the log out until it's about 1/2 - 3/4 inch in diameter.  Slice into about 1 1/2 inch long pieces.  You can roll each piece with the fork tines or leave them as is.
[At this point you can place the pieces on a cookie sheet and freeze.  Once the pieces are frozen then you can put them into freezer bags - you might want to do this if you won't be eating them all at one time.  Once the gnocchi are cooked they don't keep.
You can also refrigerate for a few hours and bring to room temperature before cooking. ]
Bring a med/large pot of water to a boil.  Once boiling add a dash of salt.  Add the gnocchi to the boiling water and simmer for about 6 minutes.  The gnocchi will resemble the texture of dumplings at this point.
Have sauce ready.
Remove gnocchi from the simmering water with a slotted spoon and toss in the sauce that's ready.
Pour the gnocchi onto a plate and sprinkle with a little more parmesan cheese.
Serve.

Brown Butter Sauce
will do about half of the gnocchi

1/4 cup butter
1/8 - 1/4 cup onion, finely chopped
12 (or so) fresh sage leaves

Heat a heavy bottomed sauce pan over med heat.  Add the butter and onion.  Continue to simmer the butter over medium heat.  Add the sage leaves for about 2 minutes and then remove with a slotted spoon.  Once the butter starts to turn brown then turn the heat down.
Toss with the gnocchi and add in the sage leaves.

I can't find words for how much I want to bake RIGHT NOW.  I really can't find them.  'Itching' doesn't come close.  'Desperate' - nope, that's not it.  'Obsessing'... now that's getting closer.  I was seriously contemplating calling in sick just so that I could stay home and bake for the day.  The thought of kids being at school and having the house to myself, to play loud music, drink red wine and get flour all over me was hard to resist.  But I did resist.  Doesn't mean that I'm not still obsessing.  I've got visions of dark, dark, dark chocolate cake, s'mores cookies, ginger-carrot cupcakes and lemon loaf with sugar crackle topping going through my head almost all of the time.
Unfortunately, there is no time this week to get into any baking projects.  This is probably a good thing at the end of the day but its not helping my mood.  We now have a houseful of candy as well.  From Hallowe'en.  Ugh - crappy candy right.  To make the pile even bigger, the weather was so disagreeable here in Toronto that there weren't many kids out trick or treating and so almost many places were handing out larger quantities of candy in order to get rid of it all.  The kids appreciated it.


For Hallowe'en we always leave something simmering slowly and quietly on the stove while we trick or treat and then come back and eat it later.  Usually this quiet, simmering thing is usually chili.  I did in fact make a kickin' chili but I was hankering for something else as well... and as I've already mentioned, I didn't have time for the baking 'hanker'.


So, in honour of my first cabbage of the season, I pulled out the bacon and things just came together from there.  This is so easy I feel kind of lame putting it out here.  It tastes so good though that you'll understand exactly why I did.  I should add that this is my first parsnip haul of the season as well and it should be noted that here, at the end of October, marks me finally and fully embracing a new season.  Braised until it melts in your mouth, caramelised onion and chewy bacon.  Makes you want to curl up on the couch with a blanket, a glass of wine, a magazine and a good movie... and a snuggler.  In fact, once the kids were in bed, that's exactly what I did.  Baking be damned.


Braised Cabbage with Bacon and Mushrooms
serves 4

5 cups cabbage cut into 2 inch slices (i.e. thick)
1/2 cup onion, diced
4 - 5 slices of bacon, diced
2 small parsnips, thinly sliced
2 - 3 cups mushrooms (I used button for this), halved
3 tbsp soy sauce or tamari
2 tbsp honey

Heat a large, heavy bottomed pot over medium heat.
Add in 2 tbsp of oil and the bacon.  Cook for just a minute then add in the onion.  Cook for about 3 - 4 minutes.  Turn the heat down to med/low and add in the cabbage and the parsnips.  Cook together for another 5 - 7 minutes or until the cabbage begins to soften.
Add the mushrooms and soy sauce or tamari.  Stir well.
Turn the heat down a little again and let things simmer quietly for about 15 minutes.
Add in the honey and check the taste.  Adjust if necessary.
Serve.

It's been a big week in our house, in our family and in the community at large.
We have lost someone and the loss has left a vacuum.
I knew, 10 years ago when D's Mom re-married, that this new guy was something special.  When we first met he was warm, inviting, open and deeply connected to himself and his roots.  I had no idea just who this man was.  Charlie came to Canada at 14 from Trinidad and Tobago.  He didn't get into law right away but decided instead to study for the priesthood.  There are 2 reasons that he didn't stay with the church.  I can't remember them both at the moment but 'science' was the first reason.  He instead went into law.  I don't know if he was born for law or not.  I'm sure that he was a brilliant lawyer.  But the thing that made him stand out was his incredible passion for people and for representing those who couldn't represent themselves... for whatever reason.  That injustice was intolerable for him and as a result he began making his mark in the city of Toronto as a civil rights activist in the seventies when a series of shootings by police of black men were creating an uproar.  Charlie was at the helm of that both legally and socially.
You might have heard of Caribana.  It's this festival held in August here in Toronto which was born out of the Trinidad 'Carnival' tradition but has come to celebrate black and west-indian culture in all of it's forms.  Charlie was one of the founders of Caribana.  For a long time I didn't know.  He remained active in Caribana even up to this past August when he had to be driven through the parade route (he was so happy for that though).
Charlie died as a permanent resident of Canada and not a citizen.  He declined citizenship because he refused to take an oath to the Queen.  Right up to the end.  He fought it hard too.  There are many still working on that case and they will carry it on for him, of that I'm confident.  I heard a lawyer being interviewed yesterday and that lawyer got into law because of Charlie's mentorship.  It was during the interview when the lawyer said that Charlie's contribution to civil rights puts him at the table with the likes of Martin Luther King Jr. that it hit me just what this man was who came to our summer BBQ's.


Many many people love him.  Everyone feels that they know him and that's what he would have wanted.  For us... well he was just 'Babu'.  He played with my kids.  He encouraged them to be the best that they are and I think he saw things in them that no one else might have seen.  They debated with him and they drew protest pictures of the G8 summit and they went to the ROM.  At the end of the day, I'm thankful that we knew him not just as the public figure but as Babu... as Charlie.  He'll be missed by us all for the public contributions that he made but for us, we'll be missing 'Babu'.


As we've been juggling life and loss this week I've been craving some good food that makes me feel warm, loved and nourished.  This has helped a lot.


Broccoli and Lemon Pasta adapted from 'Bon Appetit'
Serves 4 - 6

5 slices of bacon cut into coarse pieces
1 cup leek, thinly sliced
1 cup green beans (ends cut off and then cut into bite sized lengths) or green peas
2 1/2 - 3 cups of broccoli, cut into bite sized chunks
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 cup milk
1/4 cup fresh herbs (a mixture of parsley,basil, oregano)
11/2 tbsp honey
11/2 tsp salt
11/2 tsp pepper sauce or a dash of cayenne
1 tbsp lemon zest.       
1 tbsp fresh lemon juice
1/2 cup goat cheese
1 cup freshly grated parmesan
4 cups spaghetti cooked to al dente (reserve a little of the pasta water)

Heat a large pot and add in the bacon chunks.  Brown for a few minutes and then turn the heat down to med/low.  Add in the sliced leeks and cook together for about 3 minutes.  Add in the beans, broccoli and garlic.  Cook for another 5-7 minutes.  Add in the herbs, honey, salt, pepper sauce, lemon zest and lemon juice. Mix well and cook together for about 2 minutes.  Add in the goat cheese and stir to melt in slightly.  Add in the cream and milk.  Mix well and turn the heat down to low.  Add in the parmesan cheese and continue to cook until the cheese begins to melt into the cream.  Toss with the pasta and a little of the reserved pasta water.  Serve with a little more fresh parmesan on top.

I totally know that we're all back to school and everything.
I know that even when we were in Vermont in August that some of the trees were showing signs of starting to be tinged with red.
I know that you probably had to grab a sweater when you went out the other night.
I know that when I jumped on my bike two days ago that I thought I would die in my short sleeve t-shirt.
I know all of that but I still can't let go of summer.  It still is summer... just a little.
I know because:
It's not my birthday yet.
I'm still sweaty after biking or running during the day.
My Mom hasn't contacted me about Thanksgiving dinner yet.
The new season of TV hasn't started yet.
There are still lots of tomatoes and corn at the market...


When I saw the corn there I knew that I just had to buy it.  When I spoke with the farmer he told me that this is probably the last of it.  The cold nights mess with the sugar in the corn too much and it goes all bland and boring.  A whole dozen cobs of corn came home with me tonight.  Along with tomatoes and nectarines, and locally made cream cheese (with chili peppers... come on) and more potatoes than I know what to do with for 4 dollars.  It was all a little heavy but totally worth it.  Totally.
So, if you have some corn that needs love and attention and you want to continue deluding yourself into believing that summer will continue forever then please try this recipe.  It is seriously one of the easiest and tastiest things that I've made in about a week... no joke.


Just for the record, I took some while it was still warm and spooned it onto some lettuce, topped it with some halved cherry tomatoes and drizzled with just a little homemade mayo.  Divine.  I love you summer.


Corn, Potato and Green Bean Side adapted from 'The Kitchn'
serves 4

3 1/2 cups potatoes, cut into about 2 - 3 inch cubes
1/4 cup red onion, thinly sliced
2 cups green beans, cut into 3 - 4 inch lengths
2 cups fresh corn kernels
3 slices of bacon, diced
3 - 4tbsp butter
1 tbsp honey
juice of 1/2 a lemon
salt to taste

Bring a medium/small pot of water to a boil.  Add the potatoes and simmer at medium heat for about 8 minutes or until the potatoes are just barely softened.  Scoop out the potatoes with a slotted spoon and set aside.
Place the green beans in the same water and simmer for about 3 minutes or until just beginning to soften.  Drain the water from the beans and add the beans to the potatoes.
Heat a wok or dutch oven over medium heat.
Add in the bacon and cook for about 4 minutes or until the bacon is getting brown and crispy.  Add in the butter and cook for another 5 minutes.  Add in the onion and cook for about 3 minutes.
Add the corn kernels, the cooked potatoes and green beans.  Turn the heat down just a little.  Toss regularly.  Add in a little more butter if the mixture gets too dry.
Add a pinch of salt, honey and the lemon juice.
Check the tastes and adjust if necessary.
Serve

I'm was not sure what to even call this post.  My fingers are shaking on the keyboard... I'm scared.  Terrified really.  I did not expect to have this reaction at all and the whole things is completely freaking me out.
Let me back up here and explain.
A few weeks ago (maybe, I'm guessing) I read a post here about how to increase your blog traffic and so I did one of the things mentioned and just started adding it to my routine of 'once-I-post-something-new-I-also-update-here' kind of things.  Then about a week ago (again, I'm guessing... not even sure when but definitely 'more recently') this awesome lady left a comment on one of my posts saying how awesome the blog is (Thanks!) and how the recipes are rad (I'm blushing) and that I should join this new canadian recipe site thing.  So I thanked her and then joined the thing.  Maybe she's a scout for the new website, whatever, I didn't care I just joined... whatever, right.
Except now, over the past week or so (I'm sure about this one) my daily hits have been going up and up.  That's a good thing right?  When it goes up from 30 hits per day to 45 then it's cool.  Then it starts going to to 60 hits per day and I'm feeling a little antsy.  And then it's 75 hits.  Today I have reached almost 200 hits and it's on 4:33 in the afternoon.
My first reaction is absolute and complete terror.  TERROR.  What the hell do I do now.  I'm not a professional.  I take weird shots of my kids squishing each others heads.  I use terms like glop, squidge and goop in my recipes.  What if I mess up a recipe - wait!  Does this mean that I have to measure more carefully?  I can't guess the amount.  Oh God, are people actually going to try making some of this stuff.

These tomatoes have nothing to do with the recipe or the post generally.  They're just beautiful and I got them at the market today.

Now the really funny part is that if most bloggers were getting 200 hits a day they would probably quit and commit blogger suicide.  They would be devastated.  Why even bother.  But I never expected to have anyone but friends and family really into my site.  Never mind that I put my stuff on pinterest and tasteologie and whatever that other one is... I never expected anybody would really check it.  So, despite what my facebook friends list reads, I don't have 200 close friends and family to keep my daily hits up there.  I'm actually getting checked out... kinda like a 'getting checked out' thing... and now I feel like I'm kinda obligated to keep up appearances... to give a crap,comb my hair and wear mascara.  Maybe try wearing heels.  It's freaking me out.
I gotta get my mind around this one.  I can completely understand why people look to sabotage their own success - it's just as terrifying as failing.  Realistically though, I'm sure that tomorrow I'll have like 2 hits.  It's probably just today... right?
Just to test the waters, I'm putting this lame-ass recipe out there.  It's so dumb because it just happened.  D called and said that things with the kids were running late so could I have some food ready for 5:20 'cause we have a soccer game at 6.  At 4:45 I started this and finished by 5:10.  Done.



Cauliflower, Bacon and Mushroom Kitchen Sink Hash
serves 3

2 cups cauliflower, broken up into florets
2 cups button mushrooms, halved
2 slices of bacon (mine are from the farm and they're pretty big), diced
2 tbsp (maybe 3) oil or lard

Heat a heavy bottomed pot or caste iron something or other over medium heat.
Once hot add in the oil and the cauliflower.  Cook for about 4 minutes.  Reduce the heat to medium/low.  Add in the mushrooms and the diced bacon.
Cook together for about 10 minutes or until the cauliflower is browned but kinda tender.

I hate it when bloggers write this: 'I want to thank you all for waiting so patiently.  I know it's been hard.  I'm pretty sure that this blog has become a big part of what gives your life meaning.  You've probably been waiting with bated breath (for the meaning of that phrase check here).  I didn't mean to spurn you or to shut you out.  It's just, I was busy.'  Whatever people.  We don't really care that it's been 2 weeks since you posted.  We like it when you do but we're not dying when you don't.  Suck it up and move on.  Having said that, I have had posts to put up here but I just couldn't get to it... because, well...

I went with 89 boys (ages 9 - 12) on tour to Ottawa.  We did 3 concerts, 1 Mass and 1 national anthem in 3 days.  That's a lot of singing for these guys.  We performed at a national choral symposium called Podium - which is a huge honour for these boys.  We went to the Museum of Civilization in between.  We performed our National Anthem in the Rotunda of our Parliament buildings.  In case you were wondering, getting 89 boys and accompanying teacher/chaperones through security in one piece isn't nearly as stress free as it sounds.  We also managed to fit some mini-putt and go-carting in there too.  All in all it was a pretty big deal for these young boys.  They were happy and exhausted by the end of the weekend.  As fun as it all was it was beyond exhausting.  I've been finding that this week at work I'm fine for the morning but by the afternoon I hit a wall that it's really hard to peel myself off of.
To add insult to injury, D has left for 10 days off to Europe.  One of the bands he plays in is doing a tour of France/Germany/Holland.  Lucky.  I'm home with the kids juggling work and end of year concert craziness.


I've decided not to get stressed out.  I've told myself that it's just that easy.  If I tell myself that I'm not getting stressed out then I won't.  I'm not thinking about my garden and all the crap that I haven't gotten to yet.  I haven't freaked out that my tomatoes aren't planted or that I haven't gotten my potatoes started - a project that I really want to get into.  I'll keep you up on that one.  I'm just rolling with the rhubarb that is sitting in the fridge looking forlorn and the recipe binder that contains all those gorgeous rhubarb recipes is still closed and on the bookshelf.  It's all going to happen.  It's just going to have to happen on a different timeline than the one that I would like to have.  I've decided to stay positive.


I've looked at the computer.  I've gone through the motions of checking some things and doing some recipe research and all that but I haven't even had the energy to think about putting the fingers to the keys and getting some words out.  Until now.  This weeks food box brought me two beautiful bunches of locally grown asparagus.  Gorgeous.  It also brought some more stinging nettles, baby leeks, baby spinach and fiddleheads but we'll not go into all that just now.  I saw this recipe in my favourite BBC GoodFood magazine and decided to try it out.  I think that honestly I would add a little more flavour to the boullion/broth - maybe an extra cube of boullion or a little dijon or both.  That kind of thing - and a little extra parmesan.  The recipe though turned out well and it's beyond easy.  Just do a little saute, stirring, throwing in oven and stirring again.


Baked Asparagus and Stinging Nettles Risotto adapted from BBC GoodFood Magazine
serves 6 - 8

4 cups Stinging Nettles (or spinach), stems remove and coarsely chopped
25 or so asparagus (two small bunches) with the hard bottom part taken off
1/2 cup onion (I used baby leek) chopped or diced
2 rashers bacon, diced
2 1/4 cups arborio rice
4 1/2 cups warm boullion (I used veggie)
1 cup cream
1 tbsp basil
1 tbsp oregano
2 tsp salt
pinch pepper
1 tsp pepper sauce (optional)
1 cup parmesan, shredded plus a little extra to sprinkle on the top

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
Get a large, shallow baking dish out (I used a large 9x13 pyrex dish) and ready.
Heat a large pot over medium heat and saute together the chopped nettles, bacon and the onion in about 3 tbsp of the oil of your choice for about 4 - 5 minutes.  Turn the heat off.  Mix in the arborio rice, stir a little so that the rice is coated well.  Pour the rice mixture into the baking dish.
In another bowl mix together the heated boullion, basil, oregano, salt and pepper.
Pour the boullion mixture into the baking dish and stir well to combine everything.  Carefully place the baking dish in the heated oven and bake for 15 minutes.
Remove the baking dish from the oven.  Give everything a good stir.  Add in the cream and the parmesan (reserving a little parmesan to sprinkle over the top) and stir again to mix.  Place the asparagus over the risotto mixture.  You can get creative here but I was in a hurry and went the easy route.
Sprinkle with the reserved parmesan cheese.
Bake for another 15 minutes.  Check that the rice is done.
Cool slightly and serve.

Full Disclosure:  I have a banana cake recipe that is sitting in my queue but I was too embarrassed to post yet another sweet recipe.  I just had to put this one in between.  So Reader, I give you Turnip and Beef Stew... bet you're wishing that I'd just gone ahead with the banana cake.
Now turnip is not the first thing I run to when I'm preparing awesome winter recipes.  To be honest, I'm not a fan.  Not a fan at all.  You know it's a bad sign when even the cookbooks will tell you to make sure that your turnips are young and small.  They're better apparently when they're young.  Yeah... whatever... it's now March.  I've learned that the ideal time to eat turnips is during the months of January and February.  Sigh.


This stew is a great way to use up some not so sweet turnips.  It's heavily spiced and the beef balances things out nicely.
On a completely unrelated note, last weekend the Toronto classical music world lost one of it's own.  My friends at work are really struggling with the loss.  Although I was not acquainted with the person, it's once again given me pause to think about the brevity of this life.  In the scheme of this planet's timeline a human life span is barely a speck.  However, that life span is the only one we've got.
I've often thought that doing what I do - biking, running, yoga, cooking, gardening, singing... all that kind of crap - was to help me live longer.  Over the last few years though I've started to realize that those things are not at all any guarantee of a longer life.  Sure they might buy me a little something here and there but let's face it, when you're number is up... well, it's up.  All those things that I do, they're part of what makes me a richer, deeper more spiritually connected person.  Now, I've spend the last few years of my life re-evalutating my religion from top to bottom and I'm not about to tell you that I have any clue what's happening after my days on this planet.  It could be nothing... it could be the whole enchilada.  I can tell you though that I'm not going to hedge my bets on a possibility of something  that no one can tell me about because they're all gone, ie. not with us anymore.  I'm going to lean heavily on what's here and now.  I'm figuring that any god worth his salt will understand and appreciate the fact that I've done the absolute best and most that I could with what I've been given.  I'm going to let myself be passionate and scared and exhilarated and conflicted and sometimes crazy.  I'm going to make sure that I hug my kids and say to them what I really mean underneath all the other crap that comes out of my mouth.  I'm going to appreciate that I have a D to share my life with and know that even though my life isn't perfect that's it's just effing amazing that I have a life to live.


So, although turnip is not my favourite thing to put in my mouth pretty much anything gets about 100% better when mixed with bacon and some stewing beef.  And look, life is way too short not to eat bacon.


Turnip and Beef Stew adapted from Williams Sonoma website
serves 6

1 1/2 lbs (although I did not weigh my meat) stewing beef, cut into approximately the same sized pieces
1/3 cup all purpose flour
pinch of basil, oregano, thyme, paprika, chipotle powder or chili powder, salt and pepper
3 tbsp oil or butter
4 cups turnip, diced (about 2/3 of a large turnip)
2 strips of bacon, diced
2 small onions, sliced thin
4 cloves of garlic, minced
2 cups greens (collard or chard), finely chopped
2 tbsp Worcestershire Sauce
2 tbsp Soy Sauce
2 heaping tbsp brown sugar
2 bay leaves
1 tbsp each oregano, thyme, basil
2 tsp salt
2 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp chipotle powder
2 cups beef or vegetable broth
1/4 cup ketchup
1/4 cup tomato paste

Combine the flour and pinches of seasonings together in a bowl.  Dredge the beef pieces so that each piece is completely coated with the flour mixture.  Save the unused flour just in case you need it to thicken the sauce later.
Heat a heavy bottomed dutch oven or pot over medium heat.
Add the oil or butter to the pot.  Brown the beef together with the bacon.  Once the meat is browned remove it to a plate and add the onion and turnip to the pot.  Turn the heat down a bit and brown the onion and turnip together for about 7 minutes.  Add in the garlic and cook together for another 5 minutes.
Add the meat back in with the vegetables.  Add in the Worcestershire, Soy Sauce, brown sugar, bay leaves, herbs, salt, paprika and chipotle powder.  Mix well together.  Add in the broth, ketchup and tomato paste.  Mix well.  Cover and turn the heat down to low.  Cook together for about 1 1/2 to 2 hours.  Check the tastes and adjust if necessary.  Add a little flour to thicken the mixture if necessary.
Serve with rice or mashed potato.

I bought this book.  Yup.  At the end of winter... what the hell.
It's awesome.  I don't know why I didn't think of this before.  It makes so much sense to obtain a book specifically for seasonal cooking.  I only just got it and already the pages are all dog eared and it has inspired 2 recipes out of my kitchen.  This is one of those recipes.
Jerusalem Artichokes have been a part of our lives recently because they've been available in our food box.  This is the last week that they're being offered (so far as my muddled brain can tell) so I've taken advantage of it by using them... twice.  That's twice more in one week than I've ever cooked them before.  EVER.  Feeling pretty proud.


We're approaching that time of year when the weather is starting to change and spirits are lifting and with it expectations are starting to rise.  I'm anticipating food... thinking about garlic scapes and fiddle heads and parsley growing again.  But for now it's the dregs.  Cleaning out the freezer, working through the cold room.  That kind of thing.  I am definitely looking forward to the days when I can pick fresh green beans from the garden and slice a tomato and smell that smell.  I am looking forward to fresh veggies being exciting again.  But for now, I am looking at my jars and freezer bags and trying to get through.
Winter 2012 has marked a big change for me.  I now have a winter salad.  I usually eat green every day - at least I try to.  I've now adapted my summer fresh greens to winter 'thinly sliced cabbage and shredded carrot' salad.  I officially like canning.  It's been a success.  I also officially like beets and L O V E beet pickles.  That's a big one.  I've been able to skip my food box for a week here and there because of all the garden veg and that's a savings for sure.  A shift has happened.


So back to Jerusalem Artichokes.  This recipes takes advantage of how potato-esque they can be.  It's also simple.  Ridiculously simple.  We have a local mushroom grower who provides mushrooms year round here in Ontario making the dish local and almost fresh - as fresh as you'll get in March.  The recipes was a total success as far as I'm concerned.  I served this as a main course and therefor was happy to add bacon - when am I not happy to add bacon.  However, if I were serving this alongside another dish and/or wanted it to be vegetarian then I would leave the bacon out and I'm sure that the dish would stand up well.
So, with my new winter cookbook, I feel well armed... ummm... for winter (?)


Jerusalem Artichoke and Mushroom Roast adapted from 'Winter Harvest Cookbook'
serves 4

2 cups mushrooms (I used local button) quartered
2 lbs jerusalem artichokes, scrubbed and cut into large chunks
vegetable stock
3 rashers bacon, chopped
1 small onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
salt, pepper (to taste)
4 dashes of nutmeg
2 dashes of ground ginger or 2 tbsp freshly grated ginger
1/3 cup cheddar cheese, shredded
1/4 cup parmesan, shredded
few dabs of butter

Place the jerusalem artichokes in a pot.  Add vegetable stock until the artichokes are almost covered.  Bring to a boil and then turn the heat down to a simmer.  Keep them simmering for about 15 - 20 minutes or until they soften but aren't yet mushy.  Remove from heat.
Preheat oven to 450 degrees F.
Heat a medium skillet or pot over medium heat.  Add the bacon and fry until just beginning to brown.  Add in the onion and saute together until the onion just begins to soften.  Add in the garlic and the mushrooms.  May need to add a little more oil because the mushrooms will absorb a lot of oil.  Saute another 3 - 5 minutes.  Add the artichokes and about 1/2 cup of the liquid from the artichokes.  Stir and add the nutmeg and ginger, salt and pepper (check the tastes first with the salt and pepper because if you are using stock then the quantities of salt may vary depending on the brand - start by adding a little salt at a time).
Pour the whole thing into a casserole dish.  Sprinkle the cheeses over the top.  Dab about 4 - 5 dots of butter on the very top.
Bake for about 20 minutes.  The cheese should be all melted and bubbly.
Serve with rice or mashed potato.