This winter has kicked my butt.  Like kicked it clear across the province or maybe even the country.  It's kicked me to the curb.  It's slapped me up one side of the head and down the other.  I think you get the idea.
As I claw my way through the last of it, still afraid to dwell on how it might end some day, it seems hard to remember that warm used to be a thing that described more than just huge sweaters and crazy thick socks.  It feels like I'm drowning in an ocean of clothing and I haven't seen my body in months.
Right now I am sitting in front of the computer in multiple layers and the thickest socks I could find... and slippers.  Fortunately, I am on March break at the moment which means that I can at the very least be sitting in front of the computer covered in so many layers that my arms can barely move in the middle of the day with the sun shining instead of 5:30pm in the dark (well not quite dark, I exaggerate just a little).
Before the break, I was about to run out and grab a coffee when I bumped into a colleague.  My colleague invited me to grab a coffee offered at a major fast food chain that was being offered for free that week.  Ummm Nope.  My colleague berated me for refusing the offer and accused me of being a coffee snob.  I decided that I'm ok with being a coffee snob and it drove home a thought that I've been mulling for a while now.
We are obsessed with wanting.  We want _________  (fill in the blank).  It's bred in us, male and female, from a young age.  We are constantly told what we want.  Every ad, every newspaper, magazine, website whatever, billboard tells us what it is we want.  Obviously, very few of us truly NEED anything.  What would happen if we all decided that we would only purchase what we needed as opposed to what we wanted?  Yikes - disaster.  My real problem with this wanting thing is that it's often indiscriminate.  I want chocolate.  Any chocolate will do as long as I can get chocolate... or just candy... or maybe just some form of sugar.  I want clothes so I will go to the mall and get some.  I don't need anything specific but I want clothes.  In fact, I just want.  I've decided that I'm ok with being picky and if that makes me a snob then I'm ok with that too.  I don't just want a coffee, any coffee, thank you very much.  If I can't have my own home ground, delicious coffee then there are only two places that I will ever get coffee from and if I can't get that coffee then I will skip coffee.  If I can't get the specific kind of chocolate that I am craving then I won't just buy anything to fill the void.  I will skip it altogether.  I know what I like, I know what I want and I know what I need... I don't care if that fast food chain is offering free coffee to me for the rest of my life.


Of course, this has nothing to do with these cookies.  I'm ok with that too.  I didn't eat any of these cookies unfortunately but my kids did.  They ate a lot.  I took a good solid dozen and a half to our friends place and still had plenty (about two dozen) leftover for home.  I don't know if you'll get that much out of this recipe, maybe my cookies were just exceptionally small.   They looked good, made a nice host gift and made my kids happy for a good few days.
Trust me, you WANT these cookies.


Triple Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies adapted from Kitchen Treaty
makes about 3 dozen med/small cookies

1/2 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
1 cup brown sugar
1 lg egg
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup all purpose flour
1/3 cup cocoa powder (I used dark 'Cocoa Camino')
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp espresso powder
1 1/2 cups rolled oats
1 cup dark chocolate chunks or chips
1/3 cup white chocolate chips

Combine the flour, cocoa powder, salt, baking soda and espresso powder together and set aside.
Preheat the oven to 350° F
Line a cookie sheet with parchment or a silicon liner and set aside.
Mix together (I used a hand mixer) the butter and sugar until light and fluffy (about 2 1/2 minutes).  Add in the egg and vanilla and mix for another minute.
Gently add the flour mixture to the egg mixture and mix until combined.
Add the rolled oats and stir together until well mixed.
Add in both the white and dark chocolate and mix until evenly distributed.
Spoon onto the prepared cookie sheet using about 1 1/2 tbsp of cookie dough.  Leave a little room for the cookies to spread.
Bake for about 10 minutes or just until the outer edge of the cookies are beginning to brown but the middle is still kind of gooey.
Gently remove the cookies to a cooling rack.

It's officially winter and two weeks away from Christmas.  Two out of three December birthdays have passed and I have a total of 5 events left until I can breath a sigh of relief.  I've 'stretched' myself in new directions at work more than I ever thought I could.  I'm still biking and running out there in the cold (but I won't tell you I like it) and generally keeping active.  My kids are happy and doing well.  I should be contented and happy about all of this and I suppose that somewhere deep down I really am.  The problem is, I haven't been able to take it all in yet.  At least that's how it feels.  The pace just hasn't let up enough for me to absorb it.
Happily, the pace did not prevent me from making chocolate mousse cake for D's birthday.  Add to that the sweet and sour meatballs meal that was requested (we do that for birthdays - favourite meal kinda thing)  It also did not keep us from ordering a lovely flower arrangement for my Mom's birthday... but that was thanks to D.  In fact, D is doing a lot of things right now while I learn how to stage manage concerts and organize events and get Cantors ready for Christmas Masses.  D is getting the tree (and possibly trimming it).  D has ordered the Ham (and will probably be picking it up too).  D has organized our Christmas Day family get together.  Guess who's going to be doing the bulk of the christmas shopping?  If it weren't for D then I would be treeless, presentless, hamless mess on December 20th.  As we slowly approach the 20th, I try not to dwell too much on how awesome that first sleep in and morning coffee is going to feel because then I get more depressed.
One of the things that I'm looking forward to most is being able to take a day or two (or four) and bake.  I don't want to eat the baking.  Couldn't care less - I just want to bake and for some reason the thought of baking cookies holds the most anticipation.  I can't wait to make my traditional christmas cookies and this year I want to add my Grandmother's shortbread to the list.  I want to have the ingredients surrounding me and be stirring and mixing and breaking eggs.  I want to feel the warmth of the oven and hear the comforting tick of the timer.  I want to see all of those cookies piled up into containers and enjoy how lovely they all look together.

Just a part of the cookie carnage.

I made these cookies in a one hour window on a Sunday afternoon where I had both time and light on my side.  Barely though and in my haste to get a photo of the cookies I dumped a few on the floor... it happens.  These will be a lovely addition to anyone's christmas cookie party and I might even make them again before the year is out.  However, I will make sure that when I carry them out to take pictures that I walk carefully.  Also, kids will eat molasses cookies when you put white chocolate in them.  FYI.


Molasses and White Chocolate Cookies adapted (slightly) from Peabody
makes about 3 dozen med/small cookies

2 cups unbleached, all purpose flour
1 cup oats (old fashioned)
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 tsp ginger (I used fresh but ground is fine)
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
pinch of cloves
3/4 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup molasses
1 lg egg
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup (scant) white chocolate chips
1/4 cup sugar - the coarser the better (mix with a little cinnamon)

Combine the flour, oats, baking soda, salt, ginger, cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves together.  Mix and set aside.
Beat together the butter and brown sugar for about 3 - 4 minutes or until light and fluffy.  Add the molasses and continue to beat for another 2 minutes.  Add the egg and vanilla and beat until combined (about 1 1/2 minutes)
Add the flour mixture to the molasses mixture and stir/mix to combine completely.  Add in the white chocolate chips and mix evenly.  Cover completely with plastic wrap and refrigerate for about 4 hours (or overnight)
Preheat the oven to 350°F
Line a cookie sheet with parchment or a silicon liner.
Scoop spoonfuls (I used about a tbsp and a half) of dough onto the cookie sheet.  Press each cookie down a little and sprinkle with the cinnamon sugar
Bake for about 10 minutes - cookies may be a little softish in the centre but the edges should be just turning brown.
Remove and cool.
Store in a airtight container.

It seems odd that with all of the baking that I haven't been doing, the one night of the year that I stress myself out just a little by baking is Hallowe'en.  The very night that my kids get more candy and chocolate than they could possibly deserve and most definitely more than they can get through.  And there I am, baking chocolate banana bread.
I'm sure that you've heard of my bah-humbug sort of attitude towards most holidays and hallowe'en is no exception.  I'm not anti-hallowe'en by any means either.  It's an odd sort of balance that I manage to strike where I kind of care about some details and absolutely don't care about others.  I don't think that hallowe'en is something to be afraid of and avoided.  I only wish that maybe it was seen in a more traditionally mystical and creepy whole.  The coolest thing about Hallowe'en is that it's really about protecting yourself from evil spirits.  Warding them off by dressing as them.  Hallowe'en is followed directly by All Saints in which the saints and even saintly are remembered and sometimes venerated.  All Saints is followed on November 2nd by All Soul's Day where those gone before are remembered - in some countries candles are laid by their graves and an extra place is set at the table for them.  I suppose it birthed from ancestor worship but it's kind of creepy, weird and cool.  Hallowe'en would make a whole lot more sense if it were widely considered part of the trilogy of Oct 31/Nov 1/Nov 2.  But, it's not.  Probably because some retailer couldn't think of a way to make enough money off of candles to push a serious marketing campaign.  Now hallowe'en has been reduced to kids going from door to door holding out a bag to get candy dumped into and naughty nurse costumes.

Really.  This is as creepy as it gets.

We take Kid #2 out for his jaunt up and down our street.  Kid #1 is old enough now that she is doing her thing with her friends and has a curfew of 9pm (!)  We've always been the kind of couple who needs full support for each other in these situations so we don't go in for one of us sitting at home sipping mulled wine and handing out chocolate while the other wades through the trenches of the populated sidewalks.  Nope - we do it together.  The lights at our house go out and we leave, taking out Kid #2 and having each other to lean on.  Once kid #2 gets bored (which thankfully seems to occur after about 45 min) we head back home.  Kid #2 sorts and counts the candy, D takes his coffee crisp tax from each bag and we sit back and have a beer (or two) while we wait for Kid #1 to come home and start the sorting and tax taking process all over again.  Beer helps.


The next day (All Saints), Kid #2 was heading off with his class to The Royal Winter Fair and Kid #1 was just going to school.  My kids were probably the only ones that day who showed up with homemade banana bread for lunch instead of 4 crispy crunch's, 2 cheesy goldfish pkg's and 1 jolly rancher but they didn't complain.  I went out and bought some candles.


Chocolate, Chocolate Chunk Banana Bread adapted only a little from Joy of Baking

Getting away from 'life' for a couple of weeks can be a good thing.  As with all good things, too much of it can be a bad thing.  Two weeks is just about right when it comes to a good thing.  One of the many good things that happened was that I didn't worry about home once.  Not once.
It could be argued that I compartmentalize way too much and/or simply shut down too easily.  That could be true.
You might guess that not being concerned about how things are going at home is just negligent and selfish.
You might even wonder just how any parent could be so callous.
The truth is that I completely trust D and Kid #1 and 2.  Absolutely and inherently.  Entirely and deeply.  I never doubted for a moment that everyone would be quite all right there without me.  And I was exactly right.  They were fine.  They were more than fine in fact.  I think that they might have even done better without me around than with.  The truth is that sometimes two parent households can get really complicated.
It's something I experience every time D goes away for any length of time.  You find yourself getting into a routine where you are totally in charge of the schedule and how things go.  You know that it's all resting on you and so you tackle it with vigour and get it figured out.  If things need to be accommodated then you get in there and do it.  You know that you are the only one who is going to do it.  Once the other parent gets involved things become a multiple juggling game.  Now we have to figure things out individually and together.  Another layer of complication/schedule has been added to the 'stuff' pile.  I think that me being the person leaving this time around has been good all around.
When I got back D told me that things went so well he would like it if I backed away from things a little and gave him more room to be involved.  Now that is cool.  Super cool.  And really hard because being a superMom gets hammered into our brains from an early age as does the belief that men can't really do domestic anything.  So it means that I need to let go.  It means that I need to let things fall apart a little.  It means that I need to allow myself to have a social life and get out there more.  It's scary but I'm working on it.  The very next night I stayed at work and went out with a colleague for a drink.
I know that it's going to take some time to iron out the kinks.  I know that things won't go smoothly and that we'll have to hash out exactly what a new role means for me and for D but I'm glad that we're doing it.  I'm glad that we're not just taking it for granted that things are ok when they stay the same.    I'm glad that I've got some after work drinking time.


There is absolutely no tie in with these cookies.  None.  No matter what my role is or turns into I will always be making stuff like this.  Baking is important (even when your sweet tooth is all but non-existent... still), baking is boss and these cookies were fantastic.


Chocolate Cookies with Roasted Cherries and White Chocolate Chips adapted from Martha Stewart
makes about 2 1/2 doz medium sized cookies

1 cup flour
1/2 cup cocoa powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup unsalted butter
4 oz chocolate (I used about 55%)
2 eggs
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 cup cherries, roasted
1 cup white chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350°F
Line a cookie sheet with parchment or a silicon liner and set aside.
Combine the flour, cocoa powder, salt and baking powder together.  Set aside.
Using a double boiler (or just set a stainless steel bowl over a pot of lightly simmering water - don't let the bowl touch the water) melt together the chocolate and the butter.  Set aside to cool a little.
Whisk together (or use a mixer) the chocolate mixture with the eggs and sugar until it's lightly and almost fluffy.
Add in the flour mixture and continue to whisk (or mixer) just until everything is combined.
Add in the white chocolate chips and mix well.
Gently fold in the cherries.
Drop a 1 - 2 tbsp amount of dough onto the baking sheet until it's full.
Bake for about 12 minutes or until just beginning to crack on the top.
Remove from oven and carefully remove from pan to cool on a rack.

To roast the cherries:
Preheat oven to 325°F.
Place cherries on a baking sheet and drizzle with 1 - 2 tbsp of vanilla or rum.
Roast for about 20 - 25 minutes or until the cherries are nicely darkened but not burnt or crispy.
Remove the cherries and cool.

Ladies and Gentleman:  As I told you at the beginning of this week, we would not hold you any longer than necessary.  I have some good news for you all.  We do not require your services for Valentine's Day.  Nor will we be needing your services on Friday.  Ladies and Gentleman, Thank you so much - Your Jury Duty services at this court are officially finished. 

That was probably the best paragraph that I've heard since, oh I don't know... maybe 'Will you marry me?' or 'It's a girl' or 'It's a boy'.  Ok seriously.  Not as good as those sentences but almost as good.  Yes all you kind and gentle folk, I have finished jury duty.  And what a saga it was.  I nearly got to the serious selection interview on Monday but dodged that bullet by two people.  On Tuesday we had a fire alarm which meant that a good portion of the morning was spent outside (did I mention that I live in Toronto... CANADA.  It's not especially balmy this time of year) because once we were allowed back into the building we all had to go through security again.  All 300 or so of us.  Today we had a repeat performance of the fire alarm so you can guess how my morning went.  Combine that with a last minute choir needed on Tuesday and then Ash Wednesday services today, it's been a crazy time.
I was so relieved that it was all over that I treated myself to a mini-cupcake from this bakery and whatever else you do in life DO NOT check the calorie count on these bad boys because that's just a frustrating way to live your life.  I meant to get a picture of my mini's but I didn't because I ate them.

In other news, my school is going to Rome.  This is a big deal because it's our 75th anniversary and it's ROME.  We're singing for the Pope... wait, what... hold the phone.  As of the end of February guess what... we have no Pope.  He stepped down.  Now historically men usually die in the post, either of natural causes or... hmmm, unnatural.  The last time a Pope stepped down the Pope elected after him put him in a dungeon until he died.  That puts us squarely back to the death thing again.  We've been assured that a new Pope will be in place by Easter, (and that our present Pope will not be spending any time in a dungeon) ensuring that we will be the first to perform for him. So essentially what was originally deemed a disaster has transformed into possibly the best thing for our school in 75 years.  Silver Lining.
In yet other news, tomorrow is Valentines day and if you know me either in person or through this blog then you know that I don't give a S*^%.  I'm not anti-valentine's day or anything, I just don't care.  I have not spent my spare time making heart shaped anything.  I have not bought a card for anyone.  I will not be going out for dinner tomorrow evening (blech - the worst night of the year) but if I was offered a bottle of Veuve then I wouldn't refuse (who would).  I won't be giving or receiving any chocolates or baubles of any kind and nothing either pink or red will be worn by me.  Not because I hate it but because I don't care.


I made ginger cookies... boring, I know.  With whole wheat flour... ahh - even more boring.  I put white chocolate in them... ok, less boring.  But they were really really really good.  The catch that I'm finding with using whole wheat flour is that things don't last as long.  You'll get a couple of days out of these and then they're done.  They get pretty hard but not hard enough that they can't be hammered to pieces and sprinkled on vanilla ice cream.  Silver Lining.


Red Fife Ginger Cookies with White Chocolate Chunks adapted from 'Good to the Grain'
makes about 3 dozen

1 cup unbleached, all purpose flour
1 cup whole wheat (I used Red Fife) flour
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 tsp ginger
3/4 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp cloves
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/2 cup butter, melted
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup unsulphured molasses
1 egg
2 tbsp ginger, freshly grated
6 oz white chocolate coarsely chopped
1/2 cup (or so) coarse sugar for coating

Combine both flours, baking soda, salt, ginger, cinnamon, cloves and nutmeg together.  Mix and set aside.
Combine the melted butter, both sugars, molasses, egg and grated ginger together.  Whisk to mix well.  Add the flour mixture.  Mix until it forms a batter.  Add in the white chocolate.  Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least two hours and up to 24.
Preheat the oven to 350°F.
Line a cookie sheet with parchment or a silicon liner.
Pour the coarse sugar (I use fairly course white sugar anyway so I just used what I had) into a bowl.
Using about 1 1/2 tbsp of dough + Chocolate Chunk and form into a ball and roll the ball through the sugar until it's coated.
Place the cookie balls on the cookie sheet.  Bake for about 10 - 12 minutes for soft cookies (14 minutes for crunchier cookies) - turning about halfway.
Cool on a rack before digging in.

I really wanted this to be a 'here's-a-list-of-my-current-favourite-things' but it's not happening.  Mostly because I just haven't had a chance to stop and consider what my current favourite things are.


I can tell you with certainty that sleep is a current favourite.
Drinking a cold beer is right up there too.
Cooking, though a current favourite, is creating a small heating problem.  It's extremely hot right now and doing any cooking is only adding to that heat in a rather unpleasant way.
I've been reading... as you know if you've been following my blog... which is nothing new.  But I'm not going into what the book it and how I feel about it yet again.  Besides, I'm moving on to a book about Cleopatra and then another 'civilization-is-evil' book.  In other words, I'm in between things right now.
I would love to tell you that I'm currently catching up with all my friends... but I'm not.  I'm hopelessly behind in that.  To be honest, when I do have a free evening I'm not even sure where to begin and how to fill it.  There is so much I want to do and so many friends I want to catch up with.  Fortunately, I have the most understanding friends.
I wish that I could report that my house is clean and tidy... but it's nowhere close.  Damn.  My laundry hasn't even been touched.
I really really wish that I could even begin to describe how hard it's been to not just completely collapse at work into a melting flesh ball - it's hot and everyone (students and teachers) is tired.
I would also love to be able to tell you that I've already been taking advantage of the great seasonal fruit that is starting to appear.  Strawberries are in season right now.  I haven't even touched one yet.  I'm hoping to fix that very soon but at the moment I've barely even seen a strawberry.


At the very least I can give you rhubarb.  Rhubarb.  I've still got one more rhubarb recipe up my sleeve but I'd had my heart set on doing this kind of thing with rhubarb for a while.  I finally -FINALLY- had a moment and turned these suckers out.
Making these bars isn't something that I would recommend doing on a crazy hot day like today in Toronto.  So if these look interesting to you then I would chop up the required rhubarb.  Bag it.  Freeze it.  And once the temperatures in Toronto find there way back down to something that makes turning on the oven bearable then go for it.  The browned butter adds a nice richness to the bars.  Please note that I have upped the amount of rhubarb in the recipe.  When I made them I found the rhubarb disappeared a little.  Make sure that you use enough rhubarb and chop it coarsely.



Rhubarb and White Chocolate Blondies adapted from 'Relish Recipes'
makes 1 9x13 pan of bars

1 cup unsalted butter
2 1/4 cup all purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
3 eggs
2 1/2 tsp vanilla
1 1/2 cups rhubarb, coarsely chopped
6 oz white chocolate chunks

Melt the butter in a heavy bottomed saucepan over med/low heat.  Cook until golden/brown - this took me about 12 minutes.  It will get little flecks in it that look like dirt or something.  Remove from heat and set aside to cool.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Line a 9x13 baking pan with aluminum foil and set aside.  (I did not grease the pan or anything and had no problem with sticking after baking).
In a bowl whisk together the flour, baking powder and salt.  Set aside.
In another bowl combine the cooled butter (mine only cooled outside for about 7 - 9 minutes) and brown sugar.  Whisk or use a mixer until light and fluffy.  Add the eggs and continue to whisk or mix until frothier.   Add vanilla and whisk to combine.
Gradually add in the flour and mix until the flour is completely blended and the batter is smooth.
Add in the chopped rhubarb and white chocolate.  Mix only until blended.
Pour the batter into the baking pan.  Spread evenly over the pan.
Bake for about 25 minutes or until a cake tester comes out clean (you might want just a tiny bit of goo on the tester if you want slightly gooier blondies)  Cool for about 7 minutes and then cut them into squares.
Keeps well in an airtight container for about 3 days.

How did it come to this?
I ask myself that question a lot.  When I hear certain news stories, read people's Facebook status updates, watch tv.  I was laying on my couch yesterday trying to decide what to do next.  Before switching on what has to be the world's stupidest movie and the biggest waste of my time in a long while, I had the tv on.  For the few minutes that it was on I saw a Canadian talk show host interviewing a woman in suburban Toronto.  This woman was talking about her lawn... her grass.  The grass on her front lawn(!).  She was explaining that a tree had been removed leaving uneven grass and a bare patch on her front lawn.  She needed advice from an expert so that she could once again have the best grass on her street(!!!!).
At first I thought it must be a joke.  But the show seemed to be taking things further by having a expert work with her.  This woman was absolutely sincere and in earnest about her lawn.  She was completely committed to having the best grass on her street.  And then I thought, 'How did it come to this'.
Who in hell cares whether you have the best lawn on the street.  Grass is something I consider just filler between my door and the sidewalk.  I know that it's not the best use of the space and I completely understand that it sucks the earth of it's good stuff.  Damn.  Dig up the lawn and put veggies in there.  At least it's productive.
But seriously, why do we care.  Does it honestly say something about me as a human being if I have the best grass on my street?  Or if I have the worst grass?  I don't think about people that way at all.  I don't ever wonder what their lawn looks like or if it's the best lawn or if maybe I should consider not talking to them anymore if it's the worst lawn.  I guess that it just never occured to me that the grass on my lawn was something worth competing over and/or making an effort with.


D was telling me about a visit he made to a friend a couple of days ago.  They were having some lunch and hearing these weird noises coming from outside.  Deciding to go for a walk along the beach after lunch they left the house and discovered that the weird noises (which had been going on for some time now) were being made by someone using some machinery to remove dandelions from their front lawn. Wow.  Dandelions are actually useful and grass isn't.  This person was spending a lot of time to get a great but useless lawn and removing truly useful stuff in order to do it.  I'm astonished.


Well after that whole revelation I was exhausted and had to refuel with some of these cookies.  It was truly important.  I suppose that the time I spent making these cookies could have been spend outside pulling up my dandelions or trying to repair the holes in my own grass that have been made by racoons or squirrels digging for grubs. But the truth is that I don't care.  I don't care about whether my grass is awesome because there are so many really important things in my life that I don't have time to worry about my grass.  Cookies however are another matter entirely.


Chocolate, White Chocolate Chunk Cookies adapted slightly from Eats Well With Others
makes about 30 smallish cookies - 24 med. sized cookies

8 oz very dark or bittersweet chocolate
3 tbsp unsalted butter
1 cup all purpose flour
1/4 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1 cup sugar
1 tsp instant espresso powder
1 tsp vanilla
3 lg eggs
3/4 cup white chocolate, chips are a good quality bar cut into coarse chunks

Melt the chocolate and butter together in a double boiler (you can just simmer a little bit of water and place a heat proof bowl on top - but not touching! - the pot).  Set aside to cool slightly.
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.
Line two cookies sheets with parchment or a silicon baking mat.  Set aside.
Mix the flour, baking powder and salt together in bowl and set aside.
Add the sugar, espresso powder and vanilla to the chocolate mixture and mix well.  Add in the eggs one at a time and whisk well after each addition.
Gradually add the flour mixture to the chocolate mixture.  Do it in about 3 batches mixing well after each addition.  The batter will become quite thick.
Add in the white chocolate chips/chunks and mix well.
Scoop the dough onto the cookies sheets using about a tbsp of dough for each cookie.  These cookies don't spread very much so they can be fairly close together.
Bake for about 10 - 11 minutes or until they look just a little under baked.
Cool the cookies on a wire rack.
Stores well for about 3 - 4 days.

I'm on a stupid roll here... first it was yet another chocolate chip recipe and now... another brownie recipe.  It's an illness.
I need therapy.
I have no defence.
In any case, nobody in this house is complaining about my issues - at least when it comes to baking.
What was supposed to be our rainy, crappy long weekend turned out to be warm and more proportionately sunny than rainy.  That's enough to celebrate right there.  I got to cap off my long weekend with my friend T coming over.  Once the kids were in bed and D got home from a gig we all laughed and drank merrily AND ate... these... right?  No complaints... remember.


What's more... two days later I got to spend the afternoon with my BFF (yeah I'm an adult and I use the term BFF - get over it) KT.  We meandered, we shopped (visiting some new shops is always fun), we sat down for drinks and chatted, drank and had some nibbles.  Even later, D and I finally got a chance to go out ourselves and enjoy a belated anniversary celebration.
I have to tell you another thing about my quirky self.  I used to love lay-away.  I know it's ghetto... whatever... it was awesome.  No one does it anymore and hardly anyone even remembers it.  Now that we all have credit cards and want things immediately we've done away with the habit of saving or paying something off slowly and not having it in our hands until it's paid.  So... what I do now is buy gift cards.  Every month I buy a gift card for whatever shop I want to purchase something in and once I have a significant amount of money then I go and do a guilt free shop.  Over the last year and a half (yeah - it took me that long) I saved enough gift cards to go and buy myself this awesome bag at Roots (a canadian company no less).  I was pumped.  KT joined me in the fun... it was awesome.


So that was my weekend, which has nothing to do with brownies but do brownies really need a whole lot of writing to prop them up?  I don't think so.
P.S.  as Dave said in the book... don't skrimp-out on the 1 minute of vigorous stirring (think of it as part of your workout) - it makes a difference and it's pretty cool to see the batter transform.


Dave's Friends Best Brownies adapted from Dave Lebovitz 'Ready for Dessert'
makes 1 square pan

6 tbsp (3 oz) unsalted or salted butter, cut into pieces
8 oz (225 g) bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, chopped (I used Lindt 70%)
3/4 cup sugar
1 tsp vanilla
2 lg eggs at room temperature
1/4 cup all purpose flour
1 cup of white chocolate chunks (I used Green and Blacks)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Line a 9 inch square baking tin with parchment or aluminum foil.  Lightly grease the inside of the lining.
In a double boiler (I use a stainless steel bowl over a simmering pot of just a little water) melt the butter.  Then add the chocolate and let it melt and become smooth.  Remove from heat.
Add in the sugar and vanilla until well combined.
Add in the eggs one at a time, mix well after each addition.
Add the flour and whisk energetically for a full minute (I did a little longer - because I didn't follow the recipe correctly).  The batter will become smooth and glossy and pull away from the sides of the bowl.
Pour the batter into the prepared pan.
Press the white chocolate chunks randomly into the top of the batter.
Bake for about 30 minutes (I did about 25 because I really prefer gooey brownies - ie.  slightly undercooked)
Cool before removing from the pan.

I thought that it would take a little longer, that it might not be this early on but it's undeniable... it's noticeable, it's real and it's happening.... the days here in Canada are beginning to get longer.
This is good.
This means that soon I'll be able to run again, even in the rain, without feeling totally frozen.  It means that I'll be getting out the bike and tuning her up for our first ride of the year.  It means that someday soon it might not take 5 minutes just to get dressed to go outside (double that if you have kids, at least).  It means that soon I might actually entertain the thought of going out to do something fun after I've come home from work rather than staying home and curling up on the couch (although, that's really fun too).  In short, it's the first sign that we get here in T.O. that winter just might not last forever.
As you can tell, I'm feeling more upbeat than I have in a long time.  The fact that we've gotten more sunshine in the last three days than we did throughout the entire month of January is contributing significantly to my mood.  Also a big contributor: February is a blessedly short month and we're almost halfway through.  It also means that Valentine's day is almost over with...
I'm going out this weekend to purchase Valentine's day cards for Kid #1 and #2 to take to their class on Monday.  Thankfully, their teachers are not holding any big party or anything.  I haven't made anything special for the day and I don't plan to.  You won't find any heart shaped cookie, cake or confection here. I'm not making a special dinner for D or anybody else.  We aren't buying flowers or chocolate or motorcycles for each either, in case you were wondering.  And really, I'm totally fine with that.


I did, however, see this recipe posted on a site that did more than catch my eye.  It caught both of them and a couple of limbs too.  I had to make this cookie.  Aimee's cookies look awesome... perfect... mine don't.  The taste though made me forget about how they don't look perfect and once they're in your belly you won't remember either.  In the post, Aimee told us to try hard not to eat all of the dough.  Let me qualify here that I'm not a 'dough-eater' at the best of times... like never.  This dough?  Well, it was all I could do to keep it from walking into my mouth... I'm already thinking about cookie dough ice cream with this one.  It takes a little while for the cookie dough to set... think, 24 - 36 hrs!  Totally worth it though.  Even though every time I opened the fridge the dough was begging for me to take a little taste, just to see if it had totally set yet...



Chocolate, White Chocolate, Macadamia nuts, Browned Butter Cookies... adapted from Under the High Chair (thanks Aimee!)

1 cups unsalted butter
2 1/4 cup all purpose flour
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking powder
1 1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 sugar
1 egg
1 egg yolk
1 tbsp vanilla (YES!)
2 tbsp milk
100g milk chocolate, in chunks
100g dark chocolate, in chunks
100g white chocolate, in chunks
1/2 cup macadamia nuts, crushed into small bits

On the stove top, melt and cook the butter over med/low heat until it turns golden brown - will take about 7 minutes or so.  Set aside to cool.
In a bowl, combine the flour, salt and baking powder.  Set aside.
In another bowl, cream together the cooled butter, brown sugar and sugar until it's well mixed and the sugar is dissolving just a little.  Add in the egg and egg yolk and mix till it's nice and frothy.  Add in the vanilla and the milk and mix well.
Add the flour mixture to the butter mixture and mix just until everything is incorporated.


Stir in the dark, milk and white chocolate and the nuts.  mix well.

Observe said irrisistible dough

Cover the bowl and refrigerate for at least 24 hrs.  36 hrs is best though (don't be disappointed though if, like me, you couldn't wait that long)
Preheat the oven to 375.  Spoon out the cookies and form them into balls which could be challenging with the choco chunks.  Place on a greased or lined cookie sheet.
Bake for about 10 minutes but check things after 9 - just in case.
Remove from the oven and cool for a little on the cookie sheet.  Remove to cooling rack and cool completely.

Here you are, putting one into your mouth.

Finally a recipe that almost screams Christmas.  No Banana Bread or rice dishes or brownies for me this week...it's all Christmas all the time!

Not really.

I just can't drum it all up.  I'm enjoying some time not hustling my ass out of bed to get out the door at 7:30 a.m. and run to work in sub-zero stupid temperatures (that sounds like the infamous 'Dad-getting-to-school' story don't you think?).  However, I'm just not somebody who goes over the moon for the holiday.  I've already told you all that I'm a bit of a 'bah-humbug'.  So, I can in all honesty take or leave most of it.  I had a bit of a meltdown last week in fact, when I tried buying something in the Eaton Centre.  The line up in that particular store was out the door and the rest of the mall was really no better.  This was the middle of the day, during the week!  Nevertheless, the part that I actually enjoy is the food part and if I could make stuff to give all of you as a gift, I would.  That is the truth!


Here's the thing... I had a Cookie exchange party to go to today.  Truth be told, my track pants were calling my name but I had made a commitment and I was going to see it through.  I decided to spread out the stress though by making 3 different cookie doughs last night and then baking them off today.  So, it really wasn't that bad.
Long story short, you're going to be getting a lot of cookies around here for the next while.  Nothing wrong with that, right?


These cranberry, white chocolate babies just kinda threw themselves together.  I got the basic recipe from the King Arthur flour website.  I fiddles a bit here and there but nothing drastic.  Added in an adequate amount of both the white chocolate chunks and the dried cranberries and... voila!  The nice thing about these is that they are easy drop cookies but they manage to look festive with the white and red mixed in.  I liked the texture of the cookie, although I might look for something just a smidge less cakey in future.  I'm all about the 'gooey'.  If you like a cakey cookie then these are for you...


Cranberry, White Chocolate Drops (adapted from King Arthur Flour)
about 3 dozen

1/2 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
1/3 cup + 1 tbsp sugar
1/3 cup packed brown sugar
1 lg egg
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 cups unbleached all purpose flour
2 tbsp milk (optional - didn't use it)
1 cup coarsely chopped or chunked white chocolate
1 cup dried cranberries

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
Line a cookie sheet (or two if you have) and set aside.
Mix together the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt in a bowl and set aside.
In another bowl combine the sugar, brown sugar and butter.  Cream everything until it's light and fluffy.  Add in the egg and vanilla and whip together until light and fluffy.
Add the flour to the wet ingredients and combine well.  Add in the white chocolate and the cranberries and Mix until everything is well incorporated.
Drop by lg tbsp's onto the cookie sheet and bake for about 10 min. or until just lightly browned around the edges.
Remove the cookies from the cookie sheet and let them cool on baking racks.

I feel a little bit like celebrating... just a little bit!
I haven't been baking much this week.  I kinda blew off my cooking/baking night to do something fun (yeah - whatever.  I'm not perfect all the time) and time just got away from me.  It's was a lot of fun though, did I mention that?
A post or two ago I was talking about my BF KT going through some serious medical crap and being worried but trying not to and all that.  I'm happy to report that her most recent medical experience has resulted in some good decisions regarding what her next steps should be and we're all pretty happy with that.  Sometimes just having somebody tell you what the next step should be is a huge relief, even if it's hard to take the step.  I'm just glad to get some momentum forward.  So, I'm breathing a little freer this afternoon.
Also, the weekend is a day closer.  I'm over the hardest bit of the week and feel no small amount of relief over that too.
Thirdly, it's been sunny and warm (for the middle of November at least) here in T.O.  That feels good.
 I feel a little bit like celebrating.  I was going to celebrate by making another recipe from the Ottolenghi cookbook but I got kinda sidetracked because it called for a pan that I don't seem to have.  Well, two pans actually and I only have one.  (Jeez, who has two of anything except underwear.  Really!)  So, I kinda ditched that plan in favour of another - Brownies.  I still tried the recipe in the Ottolenghi book.  It's good.  And, I made sure not to over bake them 'cause I like 'em gooey.


You could feel free to add some toasted Macadamia or Walnuts but I threw in no small amount of white chocolate and called it a day.  These are easy and bake up quickly and were a great middle of the week celebration.




Brownies (adapted from Ottolenghi: The Cookbook)

200 g unsalted butter (just under 1 cup)
280 g all-purpose flour (just under 2 1/3 cup)
1/2 tsp salt
300g dark chocolate, in pieces (about 1 3/4 cup)
2 lg eggs
220g sugar (about 1 1/3 cup)
2 tsp vanilla
2 tsp instant coffee
200g white chocolate, in chunks

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Grease and flour a 22 cm baking pan.
Place the butter and chocolate in a heatproof bowl and place over lightly simmering water.  Make sure it doesn't get too hot and that no water gets into it.  Once it's all melted, take it off the water and set aside.
In a bowl combine the flour and salt.  Set aside.
In another bowl whisk together the eggs and sugar.  Once whisked together, add in the vanilla and coffee.  Add the chocolate/butter mixture.   Mix well but don't over beat.


Add in the flour mixture and combine.  Once mixed, add in the white chocolate and mix them in.  Pour into the prepared baking pan.
Bake for about 22 - 25 min.
Cool for a few minutes before removing from the pan.