This is time. Not coming up to Christmas. Certainly not January through March. It's this time of year. From the end of March until the end of the school year is the time that seems to slip through my fingers. I can't keep up with the date or which weekend is which because they are flying by so quickly. Before I know it the end of March has turned into the first week of June and spring has gone bye bye and I've somehow missed it all. The seasonal garden centre near my house is closing up shop and I haven't even gotten a chance to get in there let along put as much as a trowel into the ground. The rhubarb is as good as gone and I think that there might have been a long weekend and a wedding anniversary tucked in there but I can't quite remember.
I'm not sure why it happens. Could be in part due to the time change that we are forced to participate in twice a year (One guess as to which side of that argument I fall on) Might be that the days are getting longer - but one would think that might cause time to slow down a bit. Could also be that just when I want more time to stop and smell the roses that aren't quite out yet that's when everything else kicks into high gear. Concert season looms. The yearly concert tour is imminent. Events and gala appearances are piling up. Kids are gearing up for the end of the school year (and this will be our first  set of high school exams!) And let's not forget the many shows on netflix that I have waiting in my cue - haven't even touched those yet. Kid #1 and I are still working through season two of Gilmore Girls and it's taken us months to get that far.


Then there is this recipe. I was so happy that for one evening I had the house to myself. By 'evening' I mean two hours after 7pm. In that time I got the recipe out of the oven, seasoned properly, adequately photo'd and entire recipe entered as a draft. So much accomplished... and that was three weeks ago. THREE. I cringe and whither a little on the inside when I think about it for long.
As such, I've decided that Easter weekend will also be a second thanksgiving weekend for me because I need to remind myself of the things that are good and that will sustain me through the frenetic pace of the next 8 weeks.
1. Winter is gone. Even though it doesn't exactly always feel like it, it is gone. The temperatures will get better and better.
2. After months of mourning I have discovered (to quote the title here) that there is a god who cares about humanity. Here is my proof
3. Music still inspires me. Thank you D'Angelo, Kendrick Lamar, Hey Rosetta, SIA, Die Antwoord and Mafikizolo.
4. Cadbury mini eggs are no longer seasonal.
5. Nickel Brook Headstock IPA exists and is a beautiful thing.  Best part: it is available near me at a place that also serves great food.
6. I can run outside again without four layers on.
7. It is virtually impossible to destroy pork and beans.
What more can be said? I'm sure I will think of other things to be thankful for but the general theme will be unchanged. Happy Eastergiving.


My version of Pork and Beans
serves 6 - 8

2 - 3 lb pork roast
1 medium onion
3 carrots, coarsely chopped
2 ribs celery, coarsely chopped
1 med fennel bulb
4 cloves garlic, crushed
1 1/4 cup navy beans, dry
2 boullion cubes
2 1/2 tsp salt
2 bay leaf
1/4 cup brown sugar
2 tbsp worcestershire
2 - 3 tbsp soy sauce
2 - 3 cups water
2 tbsp tomato paste
2 tbsp molasses
1 tsp apple cider vinegar
pepper sauce to taste

Preheat oven to 300°F
Heat a heavy bottomed/oven friendly dutch oven over medium/low heat.
Add about 3 tbsp of oil.
Add the veggies (except for the garlic) and turn the heat down a little. Heat for about 10 min, stirring to keep from sticking. add in the garlic. Cook for another 5 minutes.
Add the boullion cubes, salt, bay leaf, brown sugar, worcestershire, soy sauce and water. Mix well.
Add the navy beans and mix, making sure that the water completely covers the beans with about a half inch of liquid extra.
Add the pork roast.
Roast covered for about 3 hours, checking every hour that the water is good and it's not going dry.
After 3 hours remove from oven and check the beans for doneness (are they soft) and the pork as well (it should be more than enough time). If it needs more time then put it back in for another 30 minutes at 250°F and check again.
Once everything is done, remove the pork from the bean mixture.
Add the tomato paste, molasses and apple cider vinegar to the beans and mix well. Check taste and add salt or more molasses if necessary (and a little pepper sauce in there as well ;-)
Cut the pork roast into large pieces (or large chunks if it is just falling apart like mine) and place back in with the beans.
Serve with mashed potato, crusty break or nothing at all.

Yay Me.  I think that this may be the first week in many many many where I have managed to get two posts out.  I'm feeling a little self congratulatory about it and may even make up some kind of award for myself.  On second thought, maybe I will wait until my track record starts to become consistently better before going the award route.  And with that, off we go on what promises to be one of my most scattered posts to date.
 For mother's day/anniversary (which happened on the same day this year) D gave me a new camera lense which I love and am getting used to whenever I have time to play around with it.  I'm looking forward to some hikes, portraits and lots of food shots with this lens.  I have gotten a little time to play though and done a couple of head shots for D who was doing a show this week that required such things.
In other news:
1.  Our house is all over the place right now.  We have finally organized ourselves enough to fund a reno and fix project and have taken the plunge.  What this means is that I have 50% of a kitchen (which will probably become 0% very soon), that our front stairs have no flooring on them and that our backyard space is a combination of rotting deck (that is soon to get ripped out), drywall and dead cabinets.  We are purging like crazy (easy to do) and trying not to get frustrated (hard to do).


2.  Our kids have applied, auditioned, gotten letters, been put on waiting lists and finally have both gotten into schools of their first choice.  The relief I feel about this is palpable and when they were on waiting lists for one reason or another I felt a real sense of failure as a parent.  My reaction surprised me and I haven't taken time to pull it apart yet.
3.  D is having a crazy May.  I am having a crazy May and it just fuels my i-hate-december-and-may thing.  The problem is that this crazy that's been going on doesn't exactly look like it's letting up any time soon.  TIRED.  Silver lining - refer to #, sentence 2.  $$$

This has to be my worst photo on this blog... and who would do this to a cake BTW?  A seven year old apparently.

4.  I haven't baked in a long time - except for today when I was asked by kid #2 for a cake to celebrate his school acceptance (please refer to item #1).  I haven't calculated how long exactly but it's a long time for me - over a month for sure.  Feels weird... when I have time to think about it.  I also haven't gotten my bike out yet.  This is very very weird and it has to end.  I took my bike in for the annual tune up today.
5.  I had an interesting conversation with a colleague about how I am doing (or not doing) and what some strategies might be to feel better about myself.  My non-work life is angst ridden and changing all the time which is guess is normal and healthy.  Parenting is stressing me out... I'm learning to deal with it.
6.  It's a good thing that I remembered to pull this out of the fridge, heat a bowl up and take some pictures of it the day after I made it because very very shortly after that it was gone.  Of course that's a good thing because it means that it tasted good.  Even better is that this is good for you (I'm going to studiously avoid using 'healthy').  There is meat in here but you could definitely leave it out and add in more beans without losing much.  I get more buy in with kids when the meat is present.  If the meat doesn't buy you anything then go for a meatless version.

Playing with the new lens and nailing the background focus totally.

7.  You may be wondering why you haven't seen these wonderful, life changing pictures of the fiddlehead ragu.  Turns out, after all of my self congratulation, that my sd card got compromised.  So I have some lovely reno shots, a shot of basil and some of the cake that kid #2 asked for (refer to item #2).  Well that's funny.  After going back to bed and crying into my pillow for a while, D suggested I post the recipe anyway because it was so good.  The flattery worked and even though you are seeing tools, basil and a cake this is a really good recipe that you should try and if you think to take pictures send them to me please.

Fiddleheads, Sausage and Bean ragu
serves 6 - 8

1/2 cup onion, diced
2 med carrots, coarsely sliced
3 cloves garlic, crushed
1 lb sausage, uncooked and cut into slices
1 1/2 boullion cubes
1 tbsp dried oregano
1 tbsp dried basil
2 tbsp soy sauce
2 tbsp ketchup
1 tbsp Worcestershire Sauce
2 1/2 (approx) cups fiddleheads, stem tips removed
2 - 3 cups spinach, stems remove and coarsely chopped
1 1/2 tsp cumin
1 1/2 tsp salt
400 ml (1 small can) cannellini beans, half drained
1/3 cup water (optional)
1/2 tsp pepper sauce (optional)

Heat a heavy bottomed dutch oven or pot (I used a caste iron thing) over medium heat.
Once heated, turn the heat down to med/low and add about 2 tbsp of oil or fat.
Add in the onion and carrot.  Cook for about 7 min or until the onion is starting to caramelize.
Add in the garlic and sausage and cook together for another 5 minutes.
Add in the bouillon cubes, oregano, basil, soy sauce, ketchup and worcestershire sauce.  Mix and cook together for another 5 minutes to let the flavours mingle.
Add in the fiddleheads, cumin and salt.  Mix well
Add the half drained cannellini beans and the spinach.  Mix well and cover, turning down the heat to low.  Uncover after about 20 minutes.  If it looks a little dry add in some of the water.
Simmer uncovered for about 30 minutes more.
Check the tastes and adjust if necessary.  Add a little pepper sauce.

Serve with mashed potato or rice.

You decide to take a day off (in lieu of all the over time that you've been putting in because it's the most wonderful time of the year and all of that) and it becomes this magical, mystical thing.  You anticipate all of the things you can do on your day off.  You relish the thought of sleeping in, even though kids need to get to school so realistically you still need to get up with them.  You think about all of the things you can do tomorrow instead of today because you have tomorrow off.  You can't wait to watch daytime tv with nobody else around.  Space in your own house, lying on the couch - the whole couch - and not having to share.
Then the day off happens.  You send an email to work and tell everybody that you are working from home.  Then you get 3 emails that need to be responded to immediately.  Then you get a phone call from work.  Got a message and need to call them back ASAP.  You go for a run because that just has to happen.  You throw in that laundry that you could have done yesterday.  You water all the plants and turn the tv on while doing all of it because you feel like if you don't you will miss that stupid show you never get to watch.  You go out and catch up on the errands that (again) you could have done yesterday but didn't because you had this 'day off' coming up.
You start putting things together to bake those awesome cupcakes that you wanted to make for the last few days.  You've run out of baking powder.  Baking powder?  Who runs out of baking powder.  It's so weird that you realize you've run out of baking powder on your one day off.  It's so random that  you've now discovered you can't make those cupcakes and you've already run your errands.  Now you don't have time to get more baking powder before picking Kid #2 up from school.  You still haven't returned that work message - Oh yeah, and gotten on top of those ten other messages that came into your work account over the last hour.
And just like that, your day off is gone.  It's the past.  I'm not even going to talk about what the next day at work is like because you took that one day to work at home.  You tell yourself that you won't make the mistake of trying to accomplish too much if you take a day 'off' again but you know that you will do it all again the next time it rolls around.


That brings me to these muffins.  I had too many carrots. I think that I got mixed up with my food order.  I usually order my food box stuff online and my computer is in the kitchen... right next to the fridge in fact.  There is no excuse.  I should have just opened the fridge door and looked.  Whatever, I had two bags of carrots... but no baking powder.  That required a second trip to the store.


The moral of this story is: Whatever is on your list will eventually get done but not all on your day off... well, unless the only thing on your list is 'do nothing'.  Then your chances of getting through the list is probably pretty good.


Chocolate Carrot Cupcakes adapted from Heather Cristo
makes 1 dozen big cupcakes

1 cup carrots (about 3 medium), thinly sliced
1 tbsp butter
3 tbsp water

3/4 cup unbleached, all purpose flour
3/4 cup cocoa powder (I used some dark stuff - 'Cocoa Camino' is really good)
2 tbsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 tsp espresso powder
1/2 cup unsalted butter
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1 tbsp vanilla
1/3 cup milk or 10% cream

Put the carrots, 1 tbsp butter and 3 tbsp water into a small pot.  Bring to a boil and then simmer at med/low heat for about 7 min or until the carrots are soft.  Mash and set aside to cool.

Preheat the oven to 350°F
Line a cupcake tin with liners or whatever you usually use (butter and flour them all if you want)
Sift together the flour and cocoa powder.  Add the baking powder, baking soda, salt and espresso powder and set aside.
Mix or whisk together the butter and both sugar's until light and fluffy - about 3 minutes.  Add in the eggs and vanilla and beat for another 2 minutes.
Add the carrot mixture to the egg mixture and mix until combined.
Add the flour mixture to the carrot mixture and gently whisk until combined.
Add enough milk or cream to get the batter to an almost pourable consistency.
Fill each cupcake cup to the brim.
Bake for about 22 minutes or until a tester comes out of the middle cupcake clean.
Cool for about 12 - 15 minutes.

A funny thing has been happening to me.  I lost weight... in Italy.  Italy is now a place where everyone goes expecting to gain weight now thanks to 'Eat, Pray, Love'.  I've been trying to figure out why exactly because it's a noticeable amount of weight.  Here's my run-down:
I didn't sleep much (that's supposed to make me gain pounds not lose them)
I had my gross morning tea (apple cider vinegar and honey - good for the gall bladder) way before eating unlike at home where I drank and ate simultaneously.
I completely lost my chocolate tooth.
I worked out anywhere between 20 minutes and 40 per day (mostly 20 min) which is less than my usual.
I drank beer and/or wine almost everyday. (again, shouldn't that make me gain pounds?)
My meals were regular but sometimes I didn't get to eat everything on my plate (but we're talking 3 courses at least)
I walked quite a bit but not a lot.
Each meal (with the exception of breakfast) contained pasta and bread of some sort.
In short, there is really nothing here that yells WEIGHT LOSS in all of the normally prescribed ways one might think.  If anything, according to almost all the advice out there I should have gained weight.  Once I came back to Canada and realised what was happening (i.e. 'where the hell did my tummy go') I started racking my brain for the magic formula.  How could I keep this going? (It has continued but again I'm not sure why) Then I would feel stupid and guilty and angry that it even mattered to me because I don't want to be all 'OMG size totally doesn't matter' when it comes to other people and all 'OMG I can't fit into a size ___ anymore' when it comes to me.  That's lame.  All the same, something was changing here and I'm curious to find out why.
Then I started reading one of my favourite blogs.  She talks a lot about her crazy food/eating journey and how jacked up it has been and how much she's working on making better terms for her.  For her mind body and for her food.  She is learning to eat again.  In fact, a lot of people out there are getting really sick of diets or no carbs or salads all the time or whatever.  People are starting to just eat real food again and maybe they're losing weight, maybe they're not.  What I seem to be finding though is that they are feeling better.  Eating real food as they want it (not junk - let's be clear) including bread or pasta or rice or ice cream and getting lots of rest makes people feel better.
I'm thinking about all of this.  It flies in the face of just about everything I've ever been told to do when trying to maintain a 'healthy' weight.  The overriding message for me seems to be this:
Change is good.  Doing and/or eating the same stuff eventually just becomes something your body gets used to and then adapts to.  Keep changing it up and add variety.  Don't count calories every single day.  Let yourself loose a little and indulge once in a while.
Sleep is good.  Sleep is great.  Get lots of sleep.
Exercise is good but don't kill yourself.  Again, change it up.  Take lots of rests in there too.  I don't feel like I need to exercise vigorously 6 - 7 days a week.  It doesn't help me.  Working out 5 days a week with 2 of those days being rigorous might be just fine.


I've experimented with this salad throughout the work week.  Not because I thought it would continue my strange slim down but because it appealed.  I saw one of my office mates walk in with a quinoa salad last week that cost her about 7$.  I figured I could make it pretty easily or at least some kind of facsimile.  It's a great salad, simple and refreshing, but I have to admit that I'm kinda hungry about 2 hours later.  Maybe I should eat it with a burger.

I think that these salad pictures pretty much suck so I'm leaving you with this picture of my lilacs about to bust open.  That doesn't suck.

Quinoa Salad with Kale, Beets, Carrots and Feta adapted from BBC Food Magazine
serves 4 - 6

1 cup quinoa, uncooked
2 regular sized beets, peeled and diced
3 regular sized carrots in bite sized pieces
1 1/2 cup cucumber, cut into large chunks
1 1/2 cup red or yellow pepper, cut into large chunks
1/2 cup chives, coarsely chopped
3 - 4 tbsp lemon juice
4 - 5 tbsp olive oil
pinch salt
pinch pepper
pinch sugar
1 cup feta, broken into small chunks
4 - 5 cups kale or leaf lettuce, coarsely chopped

Cook the quinoa (using the 2 parts water to 1 part quinoa ratio) in simmering water for about 8 - 10 minutes.  Drain and set aside.
Boil the beets for about 15 minutes or until almost completely soft. Drain and set aside.
Boil the carrots for about 10 minutes or until almost completely soft.  Drain and set aside.
In a small container combine the cucumber, peppers, chives, lemon juice, olive oil, salt, pepper and sugar together.  Stir to mix and set aside.
At this point if you are having the salad at a later date (like later in the day or the next day) then you can cover everything and put it in the fridge.
When ready to eat...
Place the chopped kale or lettuce on a large platter.
Top with generous amounts of quinoa (you don't have to use all if you don't want to).
Sprinkle liberally with beets and carrots.
Add the cucumber and peppers mixture on top of that.
Top the entire thing with the feta chunks.
Serve
I made mine for lunches so I just combine it daily in a container... worked well.

Happy Spring.
It's the first day of spring.  Here in Toronto, Spring has been welcomed in with a few days of cold temperatures and off and on snow flurries.  I hear in Montreal they still have about 30 cm of snow so I'll keep my complaining at a minimum.  The imminence of Easter though seems to bring with it the expectation of warmer temperatures.  In that we've been very disappointed, frustrated and even cranky.
I remember one of my first couple of Easter's in Montreal a friend invited me to the Easter 'Sunrise' Service on easter morning.  It sounded interesting and there was a pancake breakfast afterwards.  Either way my friend T and I found ourselves standing on Mount Royal in Montreal at 6 a.m. that particular Easter morning.
We were freezing our asses off because it must have been about -10C at the time and while we were standing (for the entire service!) to add insult to injury... it started to snow.  We were both miserable although T is much better natured than I am about those things and he put on a brave face and faked his way to friendliness.  Neither one of us knew liturgy very well back then.  So when one of the lay-leaders (someone who doesn't get paid for their work) shouted 'Christ is Risen!' at him he didn't know what to do and she was standing there watching, waiting, anticipating a response.  We both looked at each other confused and finally he blurted out 'Hallelujah'.  Not missing a beat, our fearless lay-leader shot both of us a frustrated and angry look and snapped 'No - It's He is Risen Indeed'.  She taught us.  That was it though.  I had stopped even attempting to hide my crankiness and poor T snapped once he got that response.  Pancake breakfast or no, we left.  Bolted.  Found warmth at the closest spot that we could find and then made our way home to make better pancakes than we would have had in the church basement.  Not my best Easter but we made lemonade out of them lemons.


We've all been so sick of winter - the cold, the snow, the damp, the cloudy - that we made our way to the west indian store last week and picked up some much needed ingredients.  We made it a family trip and got a lot of pleasure out of walking the isles looking at foods that reminded us of a warmer, sunnier place.  West Indian curry powder, salt fish, dasheen leaf (recipe to follow in the next post), Apple J, coconut milk and pigeon peas... yup we got it all.
Then we made our way home and I started making some stewed pork.  In Trinidad it's much more common to make stewed chicken.  A typical Sunday lunch is stewed chicken, callalloo (recipe coming with the dasheen leaf) and macaroni pie.  This time around I went for cubed pork instead of the chicken and we opted for plain rice instead of the macaroni pie.  It was fantastic and brought a little bit of sunshine to our cold, cranky, almost-easter-and-disappointed selves.  If you don't want to use that much meat please feel free to halve the quantity but you could easily use the same amounts for everything else just add less water to the marinade.


Trini Stewed Pork adapted from Naparima Girls School Cookbook
serves 8 - 10

Marinade
4 tbsp mixed herbs
5 cloves garlic, crushed
3 tbsp apple cider vinegar
4 tbsp Worcestershire Sauce
4 tbsp Soy Sauce
3 tbsp sugar
3 tsp salt
2 tsp pepper sauce (or 1/2 tsp cayenne)
1 boullion cube
water

3 - 5 lbs pork (any cut, including the cheaper cuts like shoulder), cubed

1 med onion, sliced
5 - 6 carrots, coarsely chopped
1/3 cup brown sugar
3 tbsp butter or lard
2 cloves of garlic, peeled and whole
2/3 cup ketchup
1/2 cup coconut milk (optional)
2 scotch bonnet peppers, whole - do not cut
salt to taste

Combine the herbs, garlic, apple cider vinegar, Worcestershire sauce, soy sauce, sugar, salt, pepper sauce and boullion cube together in a large bowl.  Add in the cubed meat and enough water to just barely cover the meat.  Stir and marinade together for anywhere from 1 - 8 hours (even overnight if you wish)
Heat a large, heavy bottomed dutch oven (big enough to hold all of the meat) over med or slightly higher heat until the pot is quite hot.  Add the brown sugar and the butter or lard to the pot.  Cook together until the brown sugar begins to melt.  Add in the whole garlic cloves.  You can remove the garlic cloves now if you wish or keep them in - up to you.   Once the sugar begins to get dark (chocolate coloured dark) then turn the heat down a bit and add in the carrots and the meat - you might want to add in stages so that the pot doesn't cool down too much.  Once everything is added in and the meat has browned a bit add in the marinade liquid.  Bring to a low simmer.  Add in the ketchup and the coconut milk (I did not add it to mine).  Mix well.
Before covering the pot add the set the scotch bonnet peppers on top of meat but don't stir in.  Cover and lower the heat to just barely keep things simmering.  Cook for about 1 1/2 hrs.  The meat should be quite tender.  Check the tastes and add salt if necessary.
Serve with a big bowl of callalloo and some rice or macaroni pie.

I'm totally distracted by lots and lots of things in my life.  At the moment my big distraction is that I have no one to go to a concert with me.  I'm gutted.  I desperately want to go and see Kate Nash who is in town next week.  I sent a call out to my cyberworld friends and sadly, have gotten no response.  D is not into K enough to go to the show although, to be fair, we haven't talked about it yet.  Kate is definitely just weird enough to be just a smidge inaccessible to most pop-loving north americans but not weird enough to make it into the super fringe crowd.  Her music speaks to me.  She seems unafraid to be a 'hysterical' female.  I'm itching to go and it's my March Break week... do I go by myself... it's pretty late in the night... I'd feel weird standing there alone...
Then I thought about how far the tables have turned... and in the weirdest way.  When I was in university I was the girl that didn't go out.  I stayed home.  I put my favourite CD in the disk player and plugged in the headphones.  I would lie on the couch and get lost in the sound.  I would read.  I would go to church.  I would grab the local and free newspaper and read about what was going on... I would never do it.  My friends would ask me to do stuff... I wouldn't.  Sometimes I would go to a movie - usually either while I was supposed to be in class (ie. during the day) or at midnight (I wasn't afraid of the movie theatre... just of some movies).  Mostly I went to friends places for dinner if I did anything at all.  Once.  ONCE!  My friend dragged me kicking and screaming (and terrified on the inside) to a Bare Naked Ladies concert.  It was fun but I felt lost, I didn't know what to do.
It's taken me many years to be okay with not knowing what to do, to stop worrying about whether I looked the part and to actually let myself want to do something.  I am now at the stage of life when most of us slow down - kids, work, home - and yet now I feel finally ready to get out there and do somethings.  Let me be clear, I still don't want to do a lot.  I'm not and probably never will be much of a party person.  But there are some things that I just want to do.


It's weird how life does that to you.  Just when you feel good about yourself and you're ready to put it out there you discover that your boat just set off from dock and you're scrambling to find another solution.  I don't know if you've ever found yourself in that situation.  Wondering how it is in your circle of friends or in your family that you are the only one who's giving a crap about some special thing or whatever.  Thing is, I'm one week away from a great show and I've got no date.  Should I consider hiring someone?  Do I ask someone to go who doesn't know KN at all - then I have to explain her or feel all apologetic when she's not what they expected.  Do I just not go?  I can get her music online after all... it's not the end of the world right?
While contemplating my dilemma I made these muffins.  Muffins are still weird for me because I feel like they are cupcake's boring cousin except... they're not.  Aside from not rising as much as I might have preferred in a perfect muffin world, these were great.  I sat with a cup of coffee (which I'm drinking again for those with an interest) and let the carrot muffin pieces in my mouth lull my into a false sense of 'ok'.


Whole Grain Carrot Muffins adapted from Good to the Grain
makes about 8 - 10 medium sized muffins

Streusel: (I only used about half of this for the muffins - the other half can go in the freezer for next time)
1/4 cup + 2 tbsp spelt flour
2 tbsp oat bran (I used quick oats instead)
3 tbsp brown sugar
1 tbsp sugar
1/2 tsp salt
3 tbsp (or so) cold, unsalted butter, cubed

Muffins:

1 cup spelt flour
3/4 cup unbleached all purpose flour
1/4 cup oat bran (I used a mixture of bran and quick oats 'cause that's what I had)

1 tsp allspice
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1 1/2 cups carrots, shredded
1 cup buttermilk
1/4 cup unsalted butter, melted and cooled slightly
1 egg

Combine the streusel ingredients in a bowl and using your fingers, pinch together the ingredients until they form a crumbly texture.  Do this quickly and then set aside in the fridge until needed.
Preheat the oven to 350°F.
Line a muffin tin with about 10 liners and set aside.
Combine the flours, oat bran, both sugars, allspice, cinnamon, salt and nutmeg together.  Mix just until combined.  Add the shredded carrots and mix until the carrots are mixed and coated with the dry ingredients.
In another bowl combine the buttermilk, melted butter and egg together and whisk until the ingredients are combined and just a little frothy.  Add to the flour mixture and stir together just until everything has incorporated to form a wet batter.
Fill each muffin cup just to the brim with the batter.  Sprinkle a generous amount of streusel on top of each muffin (about 2 tbsp or so, if you can manage it).
Bake for about 32 - 35 minutes, turning half way through baking.
Cool slightly before removing from the pan.
Keeps for about 2 days.

Logical, Rational thought is hurting my brain at the moment.  As a result, I offer you random thoughts straight from my brain to your eyes:

- I got my first Christmas gift tonight.  Eeek
- I don't have a Christmas tree yet which is because I think it's a lot more fun to drag my two kids out of their warm beds at 5:30 in the morning and drive down to the centre of the city where we can donate $10 to the Daily Bread Food Bank and get a tree in return.  Bad Mom.  That whole donation thing doesn't happen until the middle of December.  Further to my defence, there are many whose tradition it is to only get their tree on Christmas Eve.  However, I've only ever known of one family who followed that tradition.
- We watched 'The Grinch' last night and I let Kid #2 stay up late just so he could watch it.  Bad Mom.  We didn't eat dinner in front of the tv though.  Good Mom.
- If you are somebody who likes to peel skin (In a good way, you know, from your toes or from a sunburn) then be sure to get a tattoo at some point in your life.  Awesome.   It's been worth the price for me just to have the peeling experience.
- I've been seeing a lot of these weird blue LED christmas lights.  They're like the 'un'light.  You have to keep looking at them because it's like looking at some kind of weird optical illusion - lights that aren't. Plus they make my stomach feel funny.  I hope that you don't have them where you live.
- Is it weird that I worry about being able to carry on conversations with close friends and family? That  I wonder if Facebook and texting will render long, thoughtful conversations an impossibility.  I was texting just the other day and thought about how weird the words looked.  I marvelled at how little space I took to tell my BFF that things were crazy and I was collapsing.  Four words in total.  It looks bizarre.  I think about these things seriously.  They keep me up at night.
- I'm afraid to go and see The Hobbit.  Afraid.  Not because it's a scary movie but because I'm afraid it's going to suck.  Blow chunks.  I like Martin Freeman.  I 78% loved the 3 Lord of the Rings movies and I'm totally scared to go and see this one because if Martin Freeman bites I may never be able to watch Sherlock again.
- Tip of the Day: If your best friend takes you on a spa day and you both get a pedicure together, don't choose the dark blue nail polish because you read in a magazine somewhere that it's the new 'black'.  Here's the real 'tip' part... it is black.  Choose what your BFF chooses which is 'Slate Grey'.
- Fun Fact:  Concerts Halls only look good from the seats in the house.  Once you go backstage they all look awful.  They're actually the worst looking places ever.
- I've had two amazing cooking days in a row.  Two.  My kids are in shock just a little.  I guess I am too kinda.  Last night:  Tuna casserole with homemade 'canned' mushroom soup.  I had to make it with rice instead of pasta thought because I didn't realize I was totally out of pasta.  It still totally worked.


Tonight:  Pulled Pork.  I know, right.  Pulled Pork.  Serve this stuff with buttered egg noodles and the world will pretty much give you whatever you ask it for.  This isn't the fanciest pulled pork recipe.  It's not even 'authentic' but to be fair I don't even know what that means when it comes to 'authentic' pulled pork.  It's just pork cooked in a tasty sauce at low heat for a long time so that when it's done I can pull it all apart with a couple of forks and it looks almost like sloppy joes except it's pork.  I ate mine served hot over chard greens which sounds kinda gross but my stomach will thank me for it later.


Pulled Pork in the Oven and without a Crock Pot.  
serves 6

2 lbs pork roast or butt (haha - I wrote 'butt')
1/2 - 3/4 cup onion, sliced - diced... whatever, it won't matter
4 med. carrots, sliced - diced... same as above
lard/butter - at will
3 cloves garlic, minced
4 tbsp worcestershire
1 tbsp soy sauce
3 tbsp lemon juice (half a lemon)
1/2 cup ketchup
1/4 cup bbq sauce
1/4 cup honey
1 heaping tbsp dijon mustard
1/2 cup water
salt and pepper

Use a heavy, oven proof casserole dish with a lid - (I used my Le Creuset that I picked up at a yard sale(!) a about 16 years ago).
Preheat oven to 350°F.
Paint the bottom and sides of the pot with lard or butter.  Paint the pork with butter or lard.  Place the pork in the pot.  Surround the pork with the onion, carrots and garlic.
In a bowl, combine the worcestershire, soy sauce, lemon juice, ketchup, bbq sauce, honey, mustard and water.  Mix until everything is combined.  Pour over the pork and vegetables.  Sprinkle with salt and pepper.
Cover the pot and place in the oven.
Bake at 350° for 30 minutes.  Reduce heat to 300° and bake for another 1 1/2 hrs.  Reduce the heat to 200° and bake for another 1 hr.
Remove from the oven.  Remove the lid and any string that might be tying the meat together.  Use two forks to separate the pork until it's all in strands.  Add a little extra water if it's dry but not more than a half cup.
Serve with buttered egg noodles or in tortilla shells or in egg buns.

Oh Damn.  Three times.  That is the number of consecutive bread posts that I have put on this blog.  There must be some sort of rule about that kind of thing.  When I realised how crazy it had gotten I decided then and there to put something here that wasn't either sweets or bread.  Jeez, we do actually eat real food.


In fact, I've somehow gone and gotten these... both a bag of turnips and a bag of rutabaga's.  I don't know what I was thinking really.  It's that damn masochistic streak rearing it's ugly head again.  I also got some stinging nettles that found their way into a baked pasta dish and something else that I can't remember right now.  But this.  Well this found it's way into my kitchen via a couple of sources.  I've made Shepherd's Pie a bajillion times or so.  I've always seasoned it up like crazy but the addition of celeriac to the mash and the cider vinegar/dijon/molasses mix really intrigued me.  I liked the results.


As a side note, I've decided to scale back my tv watching to almost nothing again.  I go through these phases where things really jazz me and then these other phases where I feel dumber just being in the same room with tv.  I'm in the later phase at the moment.  Don't get your gitch all in a knot or anything, I'm still watching tv and I'm not going to pass judgement on you for watching it all day if you want to.  I do get that sometimes you just want to sit and completely veg.   I've just scaled my viewing back to maybe 3 hours per week or so.  I'm still surfing quite a bit and am buzzed that this guy is back in action - check out his comeback debut and just tell me that it's not totally inspiring to have this guy back - I'm just choosing my shows very carefully.  I do honestly wonder why we watch anything.  There is so much absolute drivel.  Like pure drivel.  I waste so much time sitting and doing nothing that I just began to get disgusted with the lack of intelligence in the programming and with myself for spending my time with it on in my house.  I swear it makes me stupider.  I've got no tangible evidence for that claim however.  I'll let you know if I start remembering things better and using better grammar.  In the short term though I can tell you that I get a whole lot more accomplished in an afternoon and evening.  The house is a lot more peaceful too and that's worth it's weight in gold as far as I'm concerned.


Back to the Pie.  Ground Pork and I have become pretty good friends lately.  In fact, pork has generally just been changing my life... in all it's wonderful forms.  You could use beef here but if you do I might throw in a little bit of bacon or something just to add some complexity to the flavour.  Honestly, this is a dish that the kids never get tired of and I've served Shepherd's Pie to more than a few dinner guests.  It's just one of those things.  Now I've gotten the celeriac figured out, I've gotta sit down and contend with the turnip and rutabaga situation.


Root Vegetable BBQ Shepherd's Pie adapted from Good Food UK and Better Homes and Gardens

3 - 4 med/lg (about 3 cups) potatoes, thickly cubed
3 sm/med (about 3 cups) celeriac, thickly cubed
4 tbsp butter
1/4 - 1/3 cup milk
1/2 cup (generous) cheddar, shredded
1 tsp salt

1 1/2 lbs ground pork
1 med/sm onion, diced
2 lg carrots, thickly diced
2 lg parsnips, thickly diced
2 cups mushrooms, thickly sliced
1/2 cup ketchup
1 bouillion cube
3 tbsp Worcestershire
2 tbsp cider vinegar
1 tbsp dijon
3 tbsp molasses
1 1/2 tsp salt
3/4 tsp pepper sauce (optional)
2 cups green beans or green peas (I used frozen stuff from last years garden)

Fill a large pot with water and bring to a boil.  Add the potatoes and celeriac.  Boil together for about 15 minutes or until the celeriac is fully softened.  Drain the water off the veggies.  Add the butter and the milk.  Mash the potatoes - I used a potato masher but if you would like to used a food mill or a potato ricer that's quite fine.  Once they are mashed sufficiently to your taste then add in the cheddar and the salt.  Mix together and set aside - the cheese will melt in nicely.
In the meantime.  Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.
Have a large casserole dish ready.
Heat a lot pot or dutch oven over medium heat.  Add in about 2 - 3 tbsp of oil or lard.  Turn the heat down just slightly and add in the onion, carrots and parsnip.  Cook together for about 4 minutes.  Add in the ground pork and cook together another 3 - 4 minutes or until the ground pork is just browned.  Add the mushrooms and continue to cook until the parsnip and carrots are reasonably softened.
Add the ketchup, bouillion cube, Worcestershire, cider vinegar, dijon and molasses.  Stir and cook together for another 5 minutes turning down the heat a little more if needed.   Add in the salt and the pepper sauce.  Check the taste and adjust if needed.
Pour the pork mixture into the baking dish.
Cover with the green beans or green peas (or a mixture).
Cover the entire thing by scooping the mashed potatoes over the top.  Spread the potato out evenly.  Sprinkle a little more cheddar over the top and bake for 35 - 40 minutes or until the top is golden the sides are bubbling.
Let it set for about 12 minutes before serving.

I always seem to have this holiday thing upside down, backwards... just plain wrong.  I post bread on Valentines day.  I post crackers and brussel sprouts over Christmas, not a roast turkey or ham in sight.  And now, for shrove Tuesday I post... chowder (?)
I had to post this.  There I was just last week spouting off about how much this soup changed my life (and, well, it did) and now, this week, it seems so long ago.  Away in the distance.  A far off memory.  Why, you ask?  Because then I tried this soup.  Oh my... this soup.


The soup itself was born out of my continued commitment to go through the veggies that I froze during last summer's bounty.  I'm not someone who looks to fill their larder or their freezer (such as it is) and then watch the things sit their gathering dust feeling smug with myself for doing such a great job.  I want to see that I use it up.  Empty it out.  I want nothing left by May or so... just in time to start really appreciating the fresh stuff that should start rolling in.  Besides, I want to see what we go through so we can gage what amounts were just right (Green tomato and tomatillo salsa), what amounts were too much (canned pears) and what amounts were not enough (tomato and also -gulp- beet pickle). So the jars in the cold room are slowly dwindling down and the piles in my freezer are beginning to diminish and I'm feeling smug with myself.


Not to be overlooked was the fact that I was making this bread and we all know that soup with fresh bread is pretty much one of the best combinations we can put in our mouths.
In a perfect world I would have loved this to be a seafood chowder but I'm boycotting seafood right now so it was out of the question for me.  However, this turned out so well and showcased the veggies so well that I think seafood might have been a bit much anyway.  I put 2 rashers of bacon into this puppy but if you are vegetarian and it's 2 measly slices of bacon holding you back from experiencing the earth shaking bliss that is this soup, then by all means leave it out.  You must.
Admittedly, I didn't make this soup on shrove Tuesday but I will be eating it on shrove Tuesday.  I made waffles on Friday, does that count for pancake day?  Whateve's.  I'm happy with my soup.  (Just for the record, I am officially breaking 2012 resolution #1 and am posting with kids around AND after having had so little sleep it's really quite ridiculous to even refer to it as sleep.  Let's see what this post looks like after I've had a good nights sleep - Oh Jeez)


Corn/Vegetable Chowder
adapted from Naparima Girls Diamond Jubilee Cookbook and Family Bites
makes about 5 - 6 cups of soup

1 med/lg leek, thinly sliced
2 med/sm carrot, diced
2 med/sm ribs celery, diced
1 cup potato, cubed
2 slices bacon, diced


2 cups broth
1 cup milk (could make it 1 1/4 easily)
3/4 cup cream
1 tbsp dill
1 tbsp thyme
1 1/2 tsp salt
pepper to taste
1 tsp pepper sauce or cayenne (optional but it really adds something)

Heat a heavy bottomed dutch oven or soup pot over medium heat.
Add the diced bacon and a little extra oil if necessary (I did).  Once the bacon is just starting to cook and brown then add in the leeks, carrot, celery and potato.  Turn the heat down a bit and sweat the vegetables (my newly adopted phrase for cooking the veggies but not getting them all browned and over-cooked) for about 6 minutes or so.  Once the veggies are starting to look mostly cooked then add in the corn and the green beans.  Cook for another 4 - 5 minutes.
Add in the broth, milk and cream and stir.  Turn down the soup so that it is just barely simmering and add the dill, thyme, salt, pepper and cayenne or pepper sauce.  Check the tastes and adjust as necessary.
Once the veggies are completely cooked serve immediately.

Red Fife and Carrot Bread adapted from 101cookbooks

2 1/4 tsp yeast
400 ml (just under 2 cups) warm water
1 tbsp sugar

2 tbsp cocoa powder
2 tbsp espresso powder
1/4 cup molasses
3 tbsp butter
1 1/2 tsp salt

1 1/2 cups grated carrot

1 1/3 cup Red Fife flour
3 1/4 cup (plus extra for kneading) all purpose flour

Combine the yeast,water and sugar.  Stir and set aside in a draft free place for about ten minutes to proof the yeast.
In a small saucepan combine the cocoa powder, espresso powder, molasses, butter and salt together.  Melt together and set aside.  It should not be completely cold when you add it to the yeast mixture.
Combine the flours in a bowl and mix well.
Add the molasses mixture to the proofed yeast mixture.  Mix.  Add the grated carrots to the yeast mixture.  Add the carrot and yeast mixture to the flour and mix well.  It should still be pretty tacky but will hold together.  Turn out onto a lightly floured surface and knead for about 5 minutes.  If you need a little extra flour (I probably used and extra 1/4 cup) then that's fine.
Place in a lightly greased bowl, cover with a clean cloth and set aside in a draft free place to rise for about 1 1/2 hours or until about doubled.
Punch down and form into a nice rounded shape.
Place on a lightly greased baking sheet.  Cover with a cloth and set aside for another hour or so  - or until about doubled.
Heat the oven to 425 degrees F.
Brush the top of the loaf with a little milk.  Bake for 20 minutes.  Turn the heat down to 350 degrees F and bake for another 20 - 25 minutes or until the loaf sounds hollow when you knock on it.
Slice once it's cooled for about 15 minutes.

I'm not one for these January resolutions.  I'm not.  In fact, I'm trying to recall a time in my life where I made a new years resolution... nope, can't recall even once.
So, I don't hit the gym in January.
I've never gone on a diet in January.
I've never stopped smoking in January.
I've never stopped swearing in January.
I've never been nicer to people in January... I think that you get the picture.  I do make a habit of sitting down and talking through some bigger things with D once in a while though.  I don't think it's quite the same thing though.  The thing about the resolutions is that somehow it becomes a set-up.  It's like we've jinxed the whole thing just by calling it a new year's resolution.  By the end of February the whole thing has been either completely forgotten or so devastated that even the thought of it is riddled with guilt.  However, maybe I have it all wrong.  Maybe I'm the one whose gotten it backwards - if that's the case then I can deal, I can handle it.
D told me lately that he thinks that my writing here has been a little incoherent of late.  I'm not surprised.  December was a bitch - it always is.  My head is tired.  My brain is foggy and my body wants to hibernate.  I took his words to heart though and it got me thinking about what I do here.  So, even though I think that what I'm about to do is pretty dumb, I present to you...

Wanda's Blog Resolutions for 2012:

#1  I hereby resolve to do my best to be coherent.  This means that I will stop posting after work when my kids are home and running around.  I will stop posting late at night when I should be sleeping.  I will not post when I've had less than 5 hours sleep a night... Wait a second this resolution is totally not gonna work, I'll have like a 10 minutes window on Sunday eve after 9 p.m. to blog.  Moving on.

#2  I resolve not use blogging to procrastinate and/or completely avoid other work that should get done... screw it, that's dumb.  Moving on.

#3  I resolve to personally respond to every single comment left on my blog.  (Have you ever actually checked how many people leave a comment... this one is so easy and it makes me look sooooo good) Moving on.

#4  I resolve to my wit more and my sarcasm less... who am I kidding.  Moving on.

#5  I resolve to stop making stupid resolutions.  Even before I wrote them out they seemed stupid and now that I see them on the screen in front of me they look even stupider (if that's even a word).  I think that I might have, once again, veered into 'incoherent-land' just to make matters worse.  I'm going to stop while I'm ahead.


If I'm a little 'incoherent' over the next 2 months (conveniently coinciding with Winter, people) then please forgive me.  I will do my best.  In the meantime, I'm working hard to cook food that will help my brain and my body.  Root veggies are super good for you - I don't know what they do exactly but whatever it is they're definitely going to help me make better posts than this one in the future.


Squash, Root Vegetable and Kale Cassoulet adapted from GoodFood Magazine UK
serves 6 - 8

2 lg parsnips diced
2 lg carrots diced
2 small turnip or rutabaga diced
1 lb butternut (or other winter squash) squash diced
1 onion diced
2 cloves of garlic minced
1 1/2 tbsp each - thyme, parsley, oregano, rosemary
1 bay leaf
2 tsp salt
1/3 cup ketchup
2 lg tbsp brown sugar
2 tbsp dijon mustard
1 - 2 cups vegetable stock
3 - 4 dashes of cayenne or hot sauce (optional)
1 large can of diced tomatoes (I used my own which I think was 700 ml)
2 15 oz cans of beans (any will do really but I used Navy beans) undrained
3 - 4 cups kale, coarsely chopped
1 cup bread crumbs
1/2 cup parmesan cheese

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
Throw the parsnips, carrots, turnip and squash onto a baking sheet.  Toss in oil and sprinkle with salt.  Roast for about 30 - 35 minutes.
Remove from the oven.
Turn the oven down to 350 degrees F.
In the meantime, heat a dutch oven over medium heat.  Add a few tbsp of oil or grease (yeah - I said grease).  Add the onion and sauté for about 5 minutes.  Add in the garlic and sauté for another 4 minutes.  Turn the heat down to med/low and add in the spices, ketchup, brown sugar and dijon.   Mix.
Add in the canned beans and mix.
Add the tomatoes and mix.
Add enough vegetable stock to cover the whole mixture.
Add the hot sauce.  Check the tastes and adjust if necessary.
Add the kale to the top and gradually mix it into the bean mixture once the kale starts to wilt.

Place the roasted vegetables into a large baking dish or even a roaster if nothing else is big enough.
Cover with the bean mixture.
Sprinkle the bread crumbs and parmesan cheese on top of the casserole.
Bake for about 35 - 40 minutes or until the mixture is bubbling and the bread crumbs/parmesan is golden brown.
Cool for about 15 minutes before serving.