Dear Friends:
I was all set to make cookies.  I had all of my ingredients (except for the maraschino cherries which Kid #1 was going to pick up for me).

This might be an excessive amount of chocolate.  Might.

I got as far as one batch of cappuccino flats rolled and in the fridge waiting to be baked the next day. When the next day came, this happened.


We woke to an icy wonderland in which about an inch of ice covered everything and made some things (like tree branches for instance) so heavy that they broke off of their tree trunk and fell to the ground.  Often they took wires down with them.  Oops.  Then there was the lovely green lightning that we thought was beautiful but ended up being transformers blowing out.  Long story short, we had an icy wonderland to look at but no power.
We got through it of course.  In these kinds of situations you realize quickly just how many options you do truly have in an emergency.  How many friends you can count on, how family checks in with you, how your amazing kids don't complain about the cold at all and roll with the punches.  You realize that even though you're not rich, you really are.  If you thought about it long enough it might even bring a tear to your eye... but you don't think about it long enough.
36 hours later I woke up at 7a.m. to a bright light in my face and Kid #2 telling me that the power was back and that his second front tooth had finally decided to leave his head.  A Christmas Miracle.

Large, gaping hold where two front teeth used to reside.

What I've decided to do is give you Christmas cookies after Christmas because who has time to bake Christmas cookies now?  I guess they'll be New Years cookies or something.  It'll be the gift that keeps on giving.

My Wishes for you this holiday:

Please keep your teeth (unless you are 7)
Eat lots of turkey (unless you've already gotten through 18lbs of thanksgiving stuff and never want to see a turkey again.  In which case, please eat something else)
Stay warm (with friends or family - use a blanket or alcohol or both)
Enjoy a cookie or two (even if it's from a box)
Hug a few family members
Have a drink with a friend (please KT?)

This is apparently what two kids get up to with christmas tree lights if you leave to room for a minute .

Merry 'Christmas/Holiday/Fill in the Blank' to you all.
Peace and Joy

Wanda

I'm home.
I'm tired but exhilarated.  I have no words to give you at the moment.  I need to process.  The trip was much more emotional for me than I could ever have anticipated.  While I work through my catharsis I will leave these pictures with you to give you just a little taste of the experience.

The view from my Florence hotel room.

Do I need to say anything here.

All about the depth here.

Textures.

And that's how close we were.

Food I did not get to eat.

And then we were silly.

It's really sad when you have a week where you made this awesome galette crust using a mixture of lard and butter which turns out even better than you were hoping and you are so busy that you don't have time to photograph any of it.  The silver lining is that I will be making it again this weekend because... damn.  You will all get a photo and a recipe.  I promise.
Additionally, due to the week mentioned above, we really didn't cook a whole lot else.  We most certainly did not bake... in fact, we didn't even think about baking.  What we did do though is survive the week and that's important because otherwise this blog would be difficult to continue.  Some of the things that helped 'us' survive the week are:

1.  The sun - The sun actually came out this past week.  It was one of the sunniest week's we've had in months.  It was also above 0° C for the better part of the week as well.  This means that I could continue biking to work each day resulting in a happier 'Work Wanda'.  On the flip side, I'm a little bitter that the sun decided coming out during the holiday break was a sucky idea.


2.  My Mom gave me an Amaryllis for Christmas and it's pretty much exploded.  It's impossible remain upset or seriously discontented when you look at the colour explosion.  It reminds you that there are some things that still grow into seriously beauty in the dead of winter.  There is no flip side to this point.

3.  This song has been on the tip of our collective 'family tongue' this week.  We've been humming it or singing it under our breath each one in turn.  Kid #1 burst through the door after school today.  She later started singing out loud when we were at our local bulk food store.  It's a great/creepy song - my tattoo artist agrees.  It's the only song on his playlist that I recognized.  The flip side here is that it's a bit creepy but really gets in your head and nothing else seems to stick.


4.  I've finally recommitted to coffee (there are a lot of double letters in those last 3 words).  It's a long story and I'm not sure I've ever delved into it here.  I'll give you the abridged version of my coffee saga and tell you that we had a torrid affair during my early twenties which left me shaky, feeling slightly nauseous and gave me a racing pulse (sounds just like true love, right).  I slowed us down quite a bit after that.  During my 'child-having' years (not saying 'thirties' - ok) we broke up.  I was done with coffee... until about 7 1/2 years later my BFF KT suggests that although our friendship isn't in jeopardy (because there is always red wine) it would definitely benefit from the addition of coffee as a third party.  Then I smell somebody's coffee at work (which I later, strangely, discovered was actually tea) and decid then and there that coffee and I are starting up again.  Love is like that sometimes, right?  It's not torrid anymore... it's just comfortable and nice.  I'm happy with that.  Flip side: now I'm all 'OMG Fair Trade Coffee...'

I kicked things off well by declaring that I was on a mission to cut down on sugar.  There are lots of reasons but health, energy and vitality are right at the top of the list.  But it seems that in the midst of my sugar cut down a lot of other things have been going on and it feels like I haven't really been cooking at all.
A close family member is terminally ill and we are all... waiting.  It's a very very sad time.  We are all feeling it.  How can you not.  We are each dealing with it in our own ways.  My daughter likes to just sit beside his bed and hold his hand.  She cries.  It's a beautiful, sad picture.  So many things occur to you when you are in that place - that space in your head.  Here are some of the things that have been rolling around:
The moments feel so large and long.  Like they last forever... yet it's only been an hour.
Here, at the end of it all, it's still hard to imagine that we will soon be without this person.  Through illness, pain and however dreadful things are at the moment it's still damn near impossible to think of the world without them.
It doesn't matter how perfectly I can rationalize the beauty of the circle of life or what my religious beliefs might be regarding the afterlife.  There is still the sadness of loss.  No matter what happens later on the fact remains that for now they are no longer here with us.
Even watching someone else slowly pass from life to death doesn't make it any easier to comprehend your own mortality.  Nope.  Not at all.

Kid #1 and I had a beautiful conversation about the trees and how beautiful they are looking.  We were noting what a beautiful, blow out ending the leaves give before they go.  It's like their swan song - those beautiful colours....

Kid #1... and then they drop and die.
Me... Well, not die really.  They change.  They become something other than a leaf but they still have an existence and in becoming that compost they feed new life.


I've made chicken pot pie.  There is something in the tradition and simplicity of it that appeals to me at the moment.  If you are wondering what to do with a leftover chicken carcass take my word for it and boil it down with some peppercorns, a bay leaf, a dash of Worcestershire, salt... boil it down for a good long time - an hour like.  Remove the bones but make sure that you take all the little pieces of chicken off first.  I got enough meat off of that (including the neck, liver, kidney and all of that) to make a fully decent pot pie once the veggies were added.  It's comfort food that reminds you of your Granny or Great Granny.  You feel all loved and warm inside... and possibly a little lonesome.


Red Fife Pie Crust adapted only slightly from 'Simply in Season'
makes enough for about 2 - 3 pies (depending on the size of your baking dish)

2 cups all purpose flour
1 cup red fife or whole wheat flour
1 tsp salt
1 cup unsalted butter, cold and cubed
1 egg
1/4 cup cold water
1 tsp apple cider vinegar

Combine the egg, water and apple cider vinegar together in a small bowl and set aside in the fridge to keep it cold.
Combine the flours and salt.  Drop in the butter and cut the butter into the flour (use a pastry cutter or two knives or even your fingers  - squish the butter pieces, don't use your fingers for long though because it will warm the butter which is not what you want to have happen) and continue until it looks like crumbly, pea sized pieces.
Add the egg and water mixture until it forms a ball (I used all of mine).  If you need a little more than add more cold water.  Cover the dough ball in plastic and rest it in the fridge for about 20 - 30 minutes.
Turn out onto a lightly floured surface - I divided mine in half here, you could make 3 pieces if it suites your sizes better.  Or you can freeze some for a later date.
Roll out with a rolling pin until it's between 1/4 and 1/8 of an inch thick.
Gently fold the pie crust in half and then once again so that it's easier to place on the pie...

Chicken Pot Pie

2 cups potato, cut into chunks
1 1/2 cups carrot, cut into chunks
1 leek, thinly sliced
1 cup green beans
1 cup mushrooms, quartered
3 cloves garlic, crushed
3 tbsp butter or oil
3 - 4 cups leftover chicken (diced) in it's broth or gravy
1 boullion cube
1 tsp salt
1 tsp honey
1 tsp pepper sauce
1/4 cup all purpose flour

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
Get a large baking dish (I used a large 9x13'ish' oval one) out and set aside.
Heat a heavy bottomed pot (big enough to fit everything) over medium heat.  Add in the butter and then the veggies.  Cook the veggies together for about 10 minutes or until the potatoes begin to soften.  Add in the chicken with liquid, bouillon cube, salt, honey and pepper sauce.  Cook together for another 10 minutes.  Add in the flour and stir to mix.  If it's not thick enough then feel free to add in a little more flour.
Pour into the baking dish.
Cover with the pie crust.  Press down gently and let the crust run up the sides of the pot a bit.
Bake for about 20 minutes or until the crust is turning golden brown on the edges.
Cool for a good 15 minutes before cutting into it and serving.

As you know I've been away.
During my time away from home I've discovered some new things in life that are in fact favourite things (that just might have ruined me).
1.  Well Water.  I didn't even realise that treated water tasted different because honestly I can't tell the difference between Toronto tap water and bottled water.  However when we were here I freaked out when I tasted the water straight out of the tap.  Now that I'm back in T.O. I'm having trouble re-adjusting.
2.  Beef Jerky.  Apparently we're all sold.  I never ever thought that kid #2 would go near the stuff but he did and even he loves it.


3. Beer.  Thank you Vermont.  'Nuff said.


4. The awesome results of zucchini plant fertility treatments... with a paint brush.


5. Unexpectedly seeing a field being plowed by two horses and a rear plow... in upper New York State(!)  Wish I could have taken a picture but we were on the Highway and it was gone before I could've gotten the camera out and shutter bugging.

6.  The taste of real campfire S'mores really cannot be overstated.


7.  THE Best Lunch EVER.


7.  Needing to go back.  This is not a proper kind of favourite thing but now I discover that I've got to go back to Vermont in order to continue on my beer tasting journey and to discover the joys of raw milk cheese.
I'm going to get on the blogging recipe train just now but in the meantime just give me a little time to bask in the post vacation glow.  It's coming soon though because I have some mondo zucchini and tomatoes that need attending to.


Just an FYI, if you find yourself in Stowe, Vermont then PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make a visit to 'Laughing Moon Chocolates'.  Some amazing chocolates, great local crafts, an amazing mission statement and if you are there when Amelia happens to be working tell her 'Wanda from Toronto' (with the cute kids) sent you.  She'll treat you right.

I'm was not sure what to even call this post.  My fingers are shaking on the keyboard... I'm scared.  Terrified really.  I did not expect to have this reaction at all and the whole things is completely freaking me out.
Let me back up here and explain.
A few weeks ago (maybe, I'm guessing) I read a post here about how to increase your blog traffic and so I did one of the things mentioned and just started adding it to my routine of 'once-I-post-something-new-I-also-update-here' kind of things.  Then about a week ago (again, I'm guessing... not even sure when but definitely 'more recently') this awesome lady left a comment on one of my posts saying how awesome the blog is (Thanks!) and how the recipes are rad (I'm blushing) and that I should join this new canadian recipe site thing.  So I thanked her and then joined the thing.  Maybe she's a scout for the new website, whatever, I didn't care I just joined... whatever, right.
Except now, over the past week or so (I'm sure about this one) my daily hits have been going up and up.  That's a good thing right?  When it goes up from 30 hits per day to 45 then it's cool.  Then it starts going to to 60 hits per day and I'm feeling a little antsy.  And then it's 75 hits.  Today I have reached almost 200 hits and it's on 4:33 in the afternoon.
My first reaction is absolute and complete terror.  TERROR.  What the hell do I do now.  I'm not a professional.  I take weird shots of my kids squishing each others heads.  I use terms like glop, squidge and goop in my recipes.  What if I mess up a recipe - wait!  Does this mean that I have to measure more carefully?  I can't guess the amount.  Oh God, are people actually going to try making some of this stuff.

These tomatoes have nothing to do with the recipe or the post generally.  They're just beautiful and I got them at the market today.

Now the really funny part is that if most bloggers were getting 200 hits a day they would probably quit and commit blogger suicide.  They would be devastated.  Why even bother.  But I never expected to have anyone but friends and family really into my site.  Never mind that I put my stuff on pinterest and tasteologie and whatever that other one is... I never expected anybody would really check it.  So, despite what my facebook friends list reads, I don't have 200 close friends and family to keep my daily hits up there.  I'm actually getting checked out... kinda like a 'getting checked out' thing... and now I feel like I'm kinda obligated to keep up appearances... to give a crap,comb my hair and wear mascara.  Maybe try wearing heels.  It's freaking me out.
I gotta get my mind around this one.  I can completely understand why people look to sabotage their own success - it's just as terrifying as failing.  Realistically though, I'm sure that tomorrow I'll have like 2 hits.  It's probably just today... right?
Just to test the waters, I'm putting this lame-ass recipe out there.  It's so dumb because it just happened.  D called and said that things with the kids were running late so could I have some food ready for 5:20 'cause we have a soccer game at 6.  At 4:45 I started this and finished by 5:10.  Done.



Cauliflower, Bacon and Mushroom Kitchen Sink Hash
serves 3

2 cups cauliflower, broken up into florets
2 cups button mushrooms, halved
2 slices of bacon (mine are from the farm and they're pretty big), diced
2 tbsp (maybe 3) oil or lard

Heat a heavy bottomed pot or caste iron something or other over medium heat.
Once hot add in the oil and the cauliflower.  Cook for about 4 minutes.  Reduce the heat to medium/low.  Add in the mushrooms and the diced bacon.
Cook together for about 10 minutes or until the cauliflower is browned but kinda tender.

I promised you an update on my very very little trip to Montreal.   D was in Germany and Kid #1 and #2 were kinda needing a little change.  I decided at the last minute to drive us down to Montreal and kick around for a day.  We got to visit family... D has family who live on a lovely, quiet island just north west of the island of Montreal.  Dinner was at 6:30 every evening, wine was opened and 4 generations were at the table.  That is pretty amazing.  We took a walk after our dinner, just around the island or through the extensive gardens.  We happened upon this little guy wandering through the greens - looking for a snack no doubt.


Kid #1 and #2 got into some serious adventures on the tree house - named 'Washington' by our hosts grandson.



We, of course, found our way to Amelio's for pizza.  Fortunately, we met up with some friends there.  That meant that when I order 3 whole pizza's for the 3 of us (me, kid #1 (11yr) and kid #2 (6 yr) that the table didn't look disgustingly lopsided - we have happily eaten Amelio's pizza leftovers for  days now.

I was, unfortunately, taking the picture (although you may have noticed I'm not a fan of getting my picture taken)

We also came home with copious amounts of beer (amazing Quebec micro brews) and bagels.

Before the harvest...

Once I got home I decided it was time to get to the potatoes.  I essentially don't know what I'm doing here.  I've gotten some advice from a friend who grew up on a farm and mostly knows what he's doing (thanks T).  That helped a lot.  He's the one who told me that I could always dig things up and then put them back in again if there are really small potatoes that still need to grow.  Alright then.
So this is my first harvest.  I'm happy with what I've pulled out so far.  I figure that I'll let some of these start to get eyes on them and then I'll throw them back in the ground too... why not.

After the harvest, with replanted potato plants.

Sorry, the pic capital 'S' Sucks

On the blog front I've been getting a lot more traffic lately.  I joined tasteologie and this canadian site called recipes.ca (a very nice commentor left that recommendation for me and I took her advice).  I don't know if that's what's causing the traffic or not but it's kinda freakin' me out.  I guess in a good way.
Last but not nearly least... the zucchini plant paint brush sex worked... first harvest of zucchini's.  It's a good day.

I am so delightfully full right now.  I got so excited by what I saw on my plate that I had to take a picture of it and put it here for you.  It was a spur of the moment kind of thing.
I'm feeling so blessed by spring.
And not exactly looking forward to the next 72 hours of my life but I'm drowning my sorrows in this absolutely gorgeous taco that I made for dinner tonight.
I had two of them to be exact... not that you were asking.
I don't have a recipe for you.  I mixed some carrots and spinach (the fridge is kinda bare at the moment) and cooked it with some drained and rinsed red beans.  I added some cooked rice that had been leftover.  I spiced the lot all up with chipotle and chili powder and coriander and the like.  A little salt and little garlic and it's all done.
Some tortilla shells that I picked up at the Mennonite farm place the other day.  Plain yogurt, cheese and - to top it all off - some shredded carrot, thinly sliced cabbage and radishes.  Drizzled with a little homemade pepper sauce (which is beyond awesome BTW) and roll it up.  It's a beautiful thing.  Supper.
See... next 72 hours all but forgotten about.

I'm sitting and typing this while dripping wet.  That's how much I love you and love doing this blog.
Whateve's right.
Where have I been and what have I been doing? Well, get ready for it sob*sigh*cry*blah*blah*... here it comes.
Non stop I tell you.  May and I aren't fans.  We don't get along and if May was a person we wouldn't be hangin'.  It's busy and frustrating and relentless.  There.  I've said it.  So while I get ready to go on tour and prepare choirs for weddings and get kids ready for auditions and take my own kid to endless rehearsals and concerts and write down endless notes on the calendar for school outings and festivals and dance recitals, I also managed to get in a little bit of time with D.
We spend some time at a friends b'day party... this is my kind of party.  That's D in the background wearing the orange shirt.  He hadn't started playing yet and I kinda missed filming that part - Duh!


I took some time to walk around by myself and get some crackin' shots of trees and things.  I'm playing around with my iPhone camera so bear with me.


I made some wicked Pear upside down cake which I'll be sharing with you in a day or two.

I downloaded some music that actually seems to keep my legs moving.  Embarrassingly, it's heavy metal. But great heavy metal.  "Who controls the past now controls the future. Who controls the present now controls the past. Who controls the past now controls the future.  Who controls the present now.'  Just sayin'


I went out with T.  We caught up and he bought wayyyyy too much wine.  We ate ourselves silly and it was a ton of fun.  We totally lost track of time and stayed out way too late on a school night.  I was a wreck the next day but it was totally worth it.

What haven't I done?
 - Cleaned my bathroom or swept my floors for starters.
 - Watched much tv except for this and this which have convinced me that if I lived in the UK I would pretty much just only ever watch tv.
 - Sat down to sift through my ideas for a new project at work that I really do have ideas for and need to put into black and white in order to start making sense of it all
 - Stepped into the toy area of our house... and I'm not going to for just a little longer.

I think that you get the picture.  I'm going to go and dry myself off now.  The rain and I played together twice today.  Once when I rode my bike home from work and the second time when I went out for my run.  Soaked twice... it was fun.  Thanks May.

I'm getting the soap box out.
I'm getting up on the soap box... steady... and up.
And now...

D went to a birthday party recently.  The party was for a former church friend.  I haven't seen this person in a long time.  We used to do service music together.  D happened to be in the area and decided to swing by and catch up a bit.  In talking, I came up and D got them up to speed on what I've been up to.  Upon hearing what's been happening for me lately at home and at work our friend replied that my success is a sign of God's favour.
D told me about the conversation and to be honest I didn't think anything much about it at first.  However, after a couple of days passed I began to get mad.  After another day or two passed I got even angrier.  Now don't get me wrong, I totally understand where that statement came from and that it was intended as a positive thing rather than negative.  So what was it exactly that had my blood boiling.
Here it is - by telling me that where I've gotten to and my successes are God's favour it feels like my own efforts had nothing to do with it.  To be honest, it felt like an insult and trivialisation of the blood, sweat and tears that have brought me to this place in my life.
Labouring through years of an undergrad degree, broke and struggling the entire time.
Working dumb jobs until I stumbled on this one, which I love.  Working like crazy to make that job my own.  Mothering two children while working.  Learning the game of politics and not being afraid to play it.  Look, anyone whose gotten anywhere in their life has worked hard. Damn hard.  If that's what one might call the favour of God then I certainly don't see it.  If the favour of God takes that much toil on my part then I'd hate to see the opposite.   As I've gotten older I've learned to see opportunities for what they are and take the best advantage of them that I can.  It's called growing up and getting smart.  When someone gives takes my hard-earned contentment and puts it in someone else's name it feels like it's been stolen.  So in short I think it's bull and it makes me seethe to think that someone would credit God with all my hard work.
And... down I get from the soap box.


This, as you may have guessed by now, has nothing to do with bread.  It's just that while spending a little quiet time kneading this bread my brain had a chance to put all of this together.  I love Red Fife flour.  It's a beautiful thing.  I got mine from local granaries but I'm told that it's also available at the Bulk Barn here in Canada.  If you find it please pick it up and give it a try.  If you don't have red fife flour then by all means substitute away - try rye or pumpernickel or... whatever.  This bread worked out really nicely.  I thought it tasted good.  Quite good.  So if you find some Red fife flour and you've got a few minutes to knead some dough and work out some issues then go for it.  Give this stuff a try.  You won't be sorry.


Multigrain Red Fife Bread  adapted from King Arthur Flour
makes 1 loaf

1 1/3 cups warm water
2 tsp active dry yeast
2 tsp brown sugar
2 cups all purpose flour
3/4 cup whole wheat flour
3/4 cup red fife flour (or a combination of cornmeal and pumpernickel flour)
2 tsp salt
1/4 cup  - less 2 tsp - brown sugar
1/4 cup dry milk powder

Combine the warm water, dry yeast and 2 tsp's of the brown sugar together and set aside in a draft free spot for 10 minutes to proof.  The mixture should have doubled in size and be bubbly and foamy.
Combine the flour's, salt, the rest of the brown sugar and dry milk powder.
Add the yeast mixture to the flour.  Stir until it forms enough to turn out onto a very lightly floured surface and knead for 8 - 10 minutes or until the dough is smooth almost silky.
Place the dough into a buttered stainless steel bowl.
Cover with a clean cloth and place in a warm, draft free spot for about 1 hour or until doubled in size.
Reshape the dough into a loaf and place in a greased loaf pan.  Cover with a clean cloth and set in a warm, draft free spot to rise for about 1 1/2 hours or until the dough has risen about 1 inch over the rim of the loaf pan.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Brush the top of the loaf with a little melted butter if desired.
Bake for 35 minutes or until the loaf is golden brown on the top and you can knock on it and it sounds hollow on the inside.