It's really quite ridiculous that I'm even posting a recipe like this.  I bet you have thought of making this in some incarnation or another about a million times.  You've probably  gone through with it and actually prepared the thing maybe about a thousand times.  It's so easy and basic that I feel kinda silly but the truth is that it's all I've got.  Another truth is that I really need to break the ice, break the silence, break the break and pump something out.
Our house being in total chaos - and the large part of that chaos being the kitchen - for the entire summer has just derailed me.  My summer was sanding and staining and taping and painting and trying to find some sanity while not being able to make a morning coffee.  The good news is that the kitchen is done.  I can now make my morning coffee.  I only make it on the weekends though because I truly believe that morning coffee is a ritual that is sacred enough not to be rushed.  Rushed is the only way that morning coffee will happen throughout the workweek.

Is there anyone out there without a potato somewhere in their kitchen?

This recipe is easy enough that you can use whatever veggies you have in your house, you will pretty much be guaranteed to have the other ingredients just about all of the time and lastly, you really have to try hard to screw it up.  Even though I'm back in my kitchen it doesn't feel like my kitchen quite yet - although I'm getting there. Generally, I'm going with some easy, quick and comfortable recipes.  When I'm not making this kind of thing, I'm pretty much either snacking on toast, chips or going out for something.
And this brings me to the story portion of this post.  Last week, on labour day monday to be exact, I took the kids out in a fit of starving, exhausted, desperation.  We went to The Wren (a fantastic little spot about 10 min's walk from my front door with great food and a fantastic craft beer selection).  I happen to read this blog on a regular basis and the blogger also frequents The Wren so every time I'm there I always kinda scan the place just out of interest to see if she might be there.  So I'm sitting with my two kids trying to be sane and sip my beer when who sits down at the large table right beside me but the Yum Yum Factor Lady (at least that what I call her in my head).  I tell the kids while trying to be inconspicuous.  Kid #2 is 8 and hungry and couldn't give a rip and probably didn't even hear what I was going on about.  Kid #1 is riveted and tells me I should say something.  She also tells me that if she can text Misha Collins (?) and some other actor guy that is super important to her about something or other.... well then I can certainly walk up to someone (now I did make the point here that in person and on line are two very different things) and tell them that I like their work.  Truthfully, I felt weird about it but I thought about how I would feel if someone walked up to me and told me that they really liked my blog.  I would be thrilled (I think) and flattered (definitely) and not weirded out at all (unless they proceeded to do something weird or confusing).  So I strategized with kid #1.  She took kid #2 outside once we were done and I - very naturally, politely and casually - interrupted the Yum Yum Factor Lady's meal by telling her how much I loved her blog.  I think that she was happy and asked to take a picture with me.  Kids #1 and #2 stared very conspicuously through the front window.  If you want to see the picture go here (she looks sassy and cool in the hat - I'm the other one)
The moral of this story:
1. Tell people when you like them, their work or their hat.
2. Post more shit on the blog so that maybe someday someone out there will feel inspired enough to introduce themselves to me if they see me somewhere.
3. Go to The Wren.

Still playing with (ie. screwing up) a 35mm camera lens which was an Awesome Gift from D.  My pictures are not happy.

Fridge Frittata
serves 4

3 - 4 med potatoes, washed and cut into 1/2 inch thick slices (very approximate)
1 red or yellow pepper, coarsely diced
1/2 cup onion, coarsely diced
2 lg cloves garlic, crushed
2 cups milk
4 egg whites (you can simply add 3 extra eggs if you don't have egg whites from ice cream hanging around)
4 eggs
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 tbsp each - dried basil, marjoram and parsley
2 tbsp worcestershire sauce
1 tbsp soy sauce
1 tsp pepper sauce (optional)
1 1/2 cups cheddar, shredded
1 med tomato, sliced into 1/3 inch slices

Preheat oven to 375°F
Boil potatoes for about 6 minutes, drain and set aside
Heat a large caste iron (i.e. something big that can go straight to the oven) skillet over medium heat.
Add some oil or fat.
Throw in the pepper, onion and garlic.  Cool for about 4 minutes and turn the heat off.
In a large bowl combine the milk, egg whites, egg, salt, herbs, worcestershire, soy sauce and pepper sauce.  Whisk until fully combined and set aside.
Mix the drained potatoes with the cooked vegetables until they are mixed up well.
Sprinkle the cheese over it all.
Pour the milk mixture over that (it should cover everything)
Place the tomato slices on top and push them down just a little.
Bake for about 40 - 45 minutes or until golden brown and bubbling.  The middle should not be liquid.
Cool for about 10 minutes before serving.

We are approaching the end of the school year here.  I really cannot tell whether it's a quick approach or a ploddingly slow one.  It changes each day.  It feels like it's been so long and so much has happened throughout this school year but at the same time it's gone so fast that I haven't had a chance to catch my breath.  My brain is having trouble computing how to figure it out.
I'm not sure how I'm going to wind down from this year or whether or not I can.  It usually takes me the whole month of July to get into a different head space.  This year we've had a grade 8 graduation to prepare for (guess what - they now do a hotel dinner and dance for grade 8 graduations), an 8 year old birthday party to plan (hopefully for the last day of school), 3 major house projects to keep on top of (thank you to D for basically looking after nearly all of that) and four more birthdays to look forward to in July.  My brain is having trouble computing.

Still life with asparagus.  This is the happy graduate.

The funny thing is that you feel at loose ends with yourself for a while.  Don't know what to do next and end up just sitting on the couch for an inexplicable amount of time.  Then you move to the computer and do the same... probably not even touching the keyboard or mouse once.  Just starring at the screen.  This may happen repeatedly before a kid reminds you that they have to consume food to survive.  Damn.  Then back to couch... damn, I have no clean underwear.  Damn.  My brain can think but somehow cannot prompt my muscles to movement.  All of a sudden summer hits and  everything kind of stops and something as simple as going to a doctor appointment means I'm done for the day.  It's weird and terrifying.  Nothing, and I mean NOTHING becomes more desirable or important than reading a book and drinking a cold beer in the back yard.
These are the things that happen when summer begins.
Asparagus season is technically done and I'm slow on the draw with this one.  If you happen to live somewhere further north where asparagus is still producing then go nuts.  Otherwise, you could always consider a replacement.  Maybe broccolette or fresh green beans.  Something green though.  It needs to be green for my brain to compute it as correct.

This is definitely asparagus and chicken that you are looking at...

To illustrate how much my brain is not computing - I happily edited through all of my photos for this post until I looked back at the photos I had uploaded last week... yup - I was editing the wrong recipe the whole time. Fortunately, I caught the mistake before I posted a recipe for chicken and asparagus  with pictures of chocolate cookies.
In the meantime, I'm going to claw my way to the last day of school and let myself fall deep into couch mode for a few days.


Asparagus, Chicken and Potato Lasagna adapted from Food52

8 - 9 medium/small potatoes, thinly sliced
1/2 cup onion, diced
2 lg bunches asparagus, hard ends removed
3 cups cooked chicken, torn into med/small pieces

Sauce:
3 3/4 cup milk, warmed for about 4 minutes in the microwave
6 tbsp butter
6 tbsp all purpose flour
1 tbsp worcestershire sauce
1 tsp mustard powder
1/2 tsp nutmeg
salt to taste
1/2 cup sharp cheddar, shredded
1/3 cup parmesan, shredded

1/4 cup parmesan, shredded

Preheat oven to 350°F
Butter a 9x13 baking dish.

Heat a large, heavy bottomed sauce pan over medium heat.
Add the butter and lower the heat to med/low.  Let the butter melt completely.
Whisk in the flour and mix thoroughly with the butter.
Gradually add the warm milk, whisking constantly.
Once all the milk is added continue whisking until the mixture begins to thicken.
Add in the worcestershire, mustard powder and nutmeg.
Mix well.
Add in the cheddar and 1/3 cup parmesan.  Whisk until melted in.
Add salt to taste.

Place a single layer of the sliced potatoes on the bottom of the prepared pan.
Place about half of the asparagus spears on top of the potatoes.
Sprinkle on half of the onion.
Layer about half of the chicken.
Repeat the layering process a second time which should finish everything.
Pour the cheese sauce over everything.
Sprinkle with the remaining parmesan.
Bake covered for about 45 minutes.
Remove the cover and bake for another 35 minutes or until the mixture is bubbly and browning at the edges.

I have learned a lot this summer.
I have learned that 7 yr olds talk a lot.  A hell of a lot.  I'd forgotten how much they talk.  Twelve year olds talk a lot too but it's mostly about things that make sense so it feels more interactive and less like I'm getting hit over the head with words.
I have learned that both Kid #1 and #2 quite possibly get their 'gift of gab' from me because I have a tendency to talk a lot at inopportune times... like when someone next to me is trying to sleep.
I have learned that there is a way for my bike to get pimped so that I can have two fenders: a front and a back.  This knowledge will not only save me about $700 (I don't need to buy a new bike this year) it has also changed my life.
I have learned that chocolate does not own me and I don't own it.  We can coexist happily and I can eat it if and when I feel like it and it can sit in my cupboard and neither of us are the lesser for it.  In fact, I have learned that my sweet tooth isn't a constant.  This has made for a cooler summer (very little oven activity) and less money for Lindt.  I don't think they're feeling it though.
I have learned that sometimes a vacation with two kids doesn't actually feel like a vacation and that maybe it's worth having them bring a friend next time.  This is problematic because we don't have room  in our car for two friends unless one can fit into a trunk.


I could go on but I will spare you the mind blowing details.  Needless to say, all of this learning has left me feeling a little empty on the inside.  A couple of days ago I was so embedded in the couch (which is a new couch so it makes sense) that it took me ten minutes to talk myself into getting up to eat something.  I didn't even want to think - it took effort.  How does one make food in such a state.  Can one cook from the couch (food is off limits on my couch BTW... in fact, it's not even allowed within a foot of the couch).  It began to get critical by about day 4 of toast.  Finally what I did was wrench myself from the loving arms of the couch, take a look at what we had left in the fridge or hanging around it and then did a google search for those items.  This is what I came up with.

Please note the wrinkling, shrivelling tomato

I would say that the potatoes and zucchini are essential here but everything else is up for grabs.  You could add or subtract at will.  I almost added corn because it's in my freezer but decided to save it for soup later because I'll need to go through this process again in about 36 hrs.


Summer Vegetable Gratin Mess adapted from Yum and More
serves 4 as a main course

4 med/sm potatoes, thinly sliced (peeled optional)
1 med/lg zucchini, thinly sliced
1 med tomato, thinly sliced
1/2 cup (1 sm) onion, diced
3 small cloves garlic, crushed
1 1/2 lbs (about 3 - 4) sausage (mild italian or honey garlic are nice) casings removed [sausages are optional]
1 cup cheese (gruyere, aged cheddar), shredded
1 1/2 cups cream or half and half
3/4 goat cheese or cream cheese (I used goat cheese which has more tang and less sweet)
1 tsp dijon
1 tsp pepper sauce (optional)
1/2 cup wine (optional - use more cream or veg stock)
2 tsp salt
1 1/2 tbsp herb mix (dash each of basil, oregano, thyme)
1/4 tsp nutmeg
drizzle of honey

Preheat oven to 375°F
Butter or grease a 9x13 inch baking dish and set aside.
Heat a heavy bottomed pan or sauté dish over med heat.  Add the sausage and the onion together (if not using sausage then add a little oil to the pan first).  Cook together over medium heat until the onion is beginning to soften and the meat is just beginning to brown.  Add the crushed garlic and continue to cook over medium heat for about a minute.  Add the wine and pepper sauce (if using) and cook down until the mixture is almost dry (about 8 minutes over med/low heat).  Drain off excess fat and set aside.

Whisk together the cream, goat cheese and dijon until the cheese has mixed into the cream.  Set aside.


Begin to lay slices of the potato and zucchini alternately and overlapping in rows on the baking sheet.  Intersperse with a slice of tomato every once in a while.  Once the veggies have been placed on the baking dish then sprinkle the veggies with the salt, the herb mix and the nutmeg.  Drizzle with a tbsp or so of honey over everything.  Sprinkle the sausage mixture over the veggies and cheese mixture.  Pour the cream mixture over everything.
Cover with foil and bake for about 50 minutes.
Remove the foil and sprinkle the remaining cheese on top.  Bake for another 15 - 20 minutes or until the cheese is bubbling and brown.
Cool for about 10 - 15 minutes before serving.

.... And Cue May.
Just like that you get back from Italy and barely settled back into life and then it's May and life spins away from you.  Not two weeks ago I hadn't dreamed of signing up for coaching track and field (Let's just fill in some blanks here.  I didn't exactly know what I was signing up for.  I've only recently learned that I will be on the track at 7:15 a.m. on Monday morning.  People will pay for that one... they don't know it yet but they will pay), after school choir rehearsals hadn't started and the after school cooking club that I volunteer with was still on 'Italy Tour' hiatus.  Now all of that has changed... AND it's May.  May brings with it spring concert season.  The first one starts tomorrow for me (yes - I'm doing a concert people - this is not a choir) and the last one is at the beginning of June.  May is still dwarfed by Christmas for concerts but just barely and when you consider that there is a Mother's Day and an anniversary or two thrown in there that tips the balance ever so slightly.
The silver lining to all of this is that it's now bearable to be outside in Toronto.  I had two lunches outside this week - count 'em... TWO.  I was outside in short sleeves and I don't have to wear a jacket in morning when I ride to work.  It feels like summer vacation is around the corner even thought it's really not.  Sitting outside eating lunch, watching the world walk by and taking maybe about 10 minutes longer than you should is proof that summer vacation mode it hitting hard.  Walking a little bit further for that morning coffee is further proof.
There is a kind of nervous energy that takes me over at this time of year.  It's hard to explain but it's almost a compulsion.  I can go and go.  I don't need to sleep as much.  Eating doesn't seem as important as going unless it involves a patio and a beer.  I just want to be moving and/or outside.  However, we need to eat.  I can't spend every day on a patio and my kids will certainly not get well fed on patio food though it would be fun to see how far we could run with it.  I managed to settle myself enough and eek out enough time to make this quiche which I'd been eyeing for a while.


Quiche is weird.  It is satisfying in a odd way but leaves me wanting more often than not.  I can't figure out why that is.  I don't know if any of us truly love it around here but at the very least there were no outright protests.  Kid #2 did not indulge but we didn't press it either.  The sweet potato crust added something new and exciting [!] to the quiche repertoire but at the end of the day it's still quiche.  If quiche is your thing then you're gonna love this stuff.  If you are interested in adding more sweet potato to your diet for some reason (Health I'm guessing) then this might be just the thing to jazz your weekend cooking.  If none of this has quickened your heartbeat at all then hard luck - I'll make something else and hang it up here and you can see what you think.  


Sweet Potato Crust Quiche adapted from FarmGirl Gourmet
makes 1 quiche

3 cups (a little more is ok too) sweet potato, pealed and shredded
2 tbsp all purpose flour
1 egg
salt and pepper

6 eggs
1 cup milk
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp paprika
1 tsp dijon
1/4 tsp cayenne
2 cups cheddar shredded

4 cups veggies(cooked ones work well)/ham mix (I used roasted leeks, roasted red peppers, roasted tomatoes and ham)

Preheat the oven to 450°F
Butter a 9 inch springform pan.
Place the shredded sweet potato into a large square of cheese cloth (you could use an old dish cloth too but don't expect it to get clean again) and squeeze out a significant amount of liquid - not sure how much to tell you but the sweet potato should feel a lot drier than it did before you started.
Place the sweet potato in a bowl and add the flour.  Mix until everything is coated with flour.  In a small bowl whisk the egg and salt and pepper together.  Add to the sweet potato and mix until coated.
Pour the sweet potato mixture into the prepared pan and press in until it's running up the sides evenly and is uniform in thickness.
Bake for about 30 minutes or until it's just becoming firm to the touch.
Reduce the oven temperature to 375°F.
Meanwhile, whisk together the eggs and milk until fully combined and just becoming slightly frothy.
Add in the salt, nutmeg, paprika, dijon and cayenne and mix well.
Add in the cheddar.
Place the veggies and meat onto the crust.  Pour the egg/cheese mixture over the top of everything.
Bake for 30 minutes.
Reduce the oven to 350° F and bake for another 30 minutes or until the centre is firm and not liquidy anymore.  Crust should be nicely browned at the top.

I hate apologies but I feel that I must apologize for what must feel to you like yet another mindless-fluff-post from me.  I'm getting to serious things I promise.  I'm reacquainting myself with how I feel about the world.  I'm reading again and that's always a good sign.  I've been getting more than 4 hrs sleep a night since I've been back and that's a good thing too.  Despite that though, between all the crazy shit going on in the world and my own semi-permanent 'fuzz', the week has felt scattered and off at best.  Nothing has stayed in my brain long enough to congeal into something even close to custard or jello let alone concrete.  So again, you are going to get some fluffy, random, scattered, possibly weird, hopefully mildly amusing thoughts.
This is the first thing that I downloaded upon arriving back in Canada... and I mean I downloaded it in the airport.  Serious.  (I had a conversation with someone while away about music.  Yet another person who only listens to music to drown out white noise in the car on the way to work.  What?  I can't even begin to understand - I will try)
This is the second and by far the best for me.  It's blowing me away right now... all of it.
These songs got me through some very strange bus rides through Italy and some beautiful views.
Some of my Hero's (They would must certainly cringe at my vocabulary) are going to be speaking at this conference that I'm going to.  I'm beyond excited.  It's like they're rock stars to me.  And I'm weird.
Oh really?  For #$%@ sake.


I can't find word to express how much doing this on my lunch hour helped me get through the rest of the day and, in fact, the whole week.
In case you were wondering, not only did D and Kid #1 and #2 manage just fine without me around, D and I have subsequently had a conversation about me backing off more at home and giving him some more space with the kids and in the kitchen.  Shizam.  I took the opportunity to go out for a drink after work the very next day.
I seriously need to update my favourite blogs because honestly there is nothing that this blogger writes that I couldn't get behind 100% right now and this blogger makes me laugh out loud often.
I saw this 'salad' and nearly fell off my chair.  I have to make it... but not as salad.
I've always suspected this about cupcakes.  Haven't you?  There is something so rightly wrong about them.  They're aw'some'ful... I kinda want one right now.  But not really because....
Oddly, since I left Canada up to now - even now - I've been watching my sugar and chocolate appetite decline significantly.  I don't know why but I'm rolling with it.  If I don't feel like eating sugar or chocolate then I don't eat it.  This may be temporary or not.  Who cares.  What I do feel like eating are eggs.  I ate eggs almost exclusively when I got back.  Two meals a day.  Eggs with toast.  Eggs have to be sunny side up and the yolks have to be runny.  The eggs must be sprinkled with a little salt.  Today I ate eggs (sunny side up of course) over spinach with a little cheese and some tomatillo salsa that I made last summer.  I'm swapping out chocolate for eggs.


In my attempts to stretch a dollar and sneak lentils into a meal without D noticing - which incidentally did not work because as soon as he tasted it D said 'This tastes beany' (jeez) - I created this twist on my usual Cottage Pie or Shepherd's Pie or whatever the hell you want to call it because there is some kind of rule out there about what you are supposed to call it when it's pork or beef or lamb or lentils or tofu.  I don't care... I thought it tasted good - maybe only slightly beany.


Lentil and Pork Cottage Pie
serves 4 - 6

1 cup Puy Lentils (the tiny dark ones)
4 cups water
3 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
2 tbsp soy sauce
2 tbsp mixed herbs
1 tbsp honey
1 veggie boullion cube
1 lg clove garlic, coarsely chopped
2 tbsp ketchup
1 lb ground pork
1 med/small onion, diced
2 carrots, thinly sliced
1 cup corn
1 cup peas (you could use frozen green beans or something if peas aren't your thing)

For the Mash Topping:
5 -6 sm potatoes (3 - 4 if using med/lg) cubed
2 cups celeriac, cubed
1/4 cup milk
1/4 cup butter
1/2 cheddar or fontina cheese, shredded
1 tsp salt

Day before:
Combine the lentils, water, Worcestershire sauce, soy sauce, honey, veggie bouillon, garlic and ketchup together in a heavy bottomed sauce pan.  Bring to a boil and then simmer for about 1 hr.  Cool and leave in fridge overnight to marinate.
Next day:  Warm them up again and then throw them into a blender or use an immersion blender to puree them to the texture of goop - oatmeal kinda goop... not sure what other word I would use here.
Simultaneously:
1.  Preheat the oven to 350°F
2.  Throw the potatoes and celeriac into a large pot of water and bring to a boil for about 10 - 12 minutes (or until softened)... then drain.  Mash well and add in the butter, milk, cheese (reserve a little cheese to sprinkle on top of the casserole at the end) and salt.  Check the tastes, adjust and set aside.
3.  Heat a heavy bottomed dutch oven or caste iron (oven proof) casserole dish over med. heat.  Once heated add about 3 tbsp of oil or lard and throw in the onion, garlic and carrot.  Cook together for about 5 minutes and then add in the ground pork.  Cook together for another 5 minutes and then turn the heat down to med/low.  Add in the ketchup and the pureed lentil mixture.  Check the tastes and adjust if necessary (maybe a little salt or add a little water if it's too thick for example).  On top of the meat/lentil mixture place the corn and peas.  On top of the corn and peas spoon the potato/celeriac mixture so that it totally covers everything underneath.  Sprinkle with a little cheese on the top.
Bake for about 30 - 35 minutes or until you see that the meat mixture is bubbling up the sides a little and the top is turning golden.
Cool for about 15 minutes before serving.

Things you learn when in Rome with 180 Boys:

1.  Food tastes amazing (no matter what it is) when all of those boys are in bed.


2.  You can see up to six sights in Rome and squeeze gelato into a 1hr 15 minute cab ride if that's all the time you've got.

3.  A uniform consisting of only 4 shirts for 12 days of travel makes for interesting odour combinations.

4.  Lines consisting of more than 6 people are impossible.  IMPOSSIBLE.

5.  Gelato does not universally taste good (see number 1).

6.  People who think it's fun to get out their decibel meter App during dinner are annoying.

7.  Sometimes yoga pants are necessary for survival.


8.  Even if you are at the Vatican Tourist shop, boys will find the only toy car in the place and fight over it.

9.  No matter what wonderful sights the boys get to see, their favourite will always be seeing the eagle killing a mouse at the side of the road.

10.  It is possible to need some distance from your best friend 'penne' once in a while.

11.  There are definitely moments when the only way to keep your sanity is to just start laughing.  It prevents crying, or sometimes facilitates it but it's always better to be laugh/crying than just crying.

12.  Sometimes, even though you ask everyday for boys to brush your teeth, they still don't tell you until Day 8 that they left their toothbrush at home.

13.  It's all fun and games until someone loses a passport.

14.  Even though they tell you it looks like cat food, if they're hungry enough boys will eat foie gras.

This is all of us.  Boys Gr's 5 - 12 and Chaperones.  Yikes.

There were many times that I indulged heavily in number 11 and number 7 - although I always had this twinge of 'I've-totally-given-up-now' - and the jury is out as to how long penne and I might be on the 'outs'.  I made this curry before I left because I knew that I wouldn't be eating any curry while I was away and because it's one of the easiest and most satisfying things I could think of doing.


Beef Curry adapted from Naparima Girls High School Cookbook
serves 6 - 8

2 lbs beef (stewing beef or leftover roast), cubed
1 med. onion, sliced
2 cups carrots, thickly sliced
1 cup turnip, cubed (optional - opt for more potato if you don't have the turnip)
2 - 3 cups potato, cubed (about 3 med/lg potatoes)
3 - 4 cloves garlic, crushed
3 1/2 tbsp mixed herbs (parsley, chive, oregano, mint, thyme, marjoram - stay away from tarragon or dill)
2 1/2 tsp salt
5 tbsp west indian curry powder (or curry powder of your choice)
2 - 3 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
2 tbsp soy sauce
2 tbsp honey
4 cups good quality beef stock
pepper sauce to taste


Use a large, heavy bottomed dutch oven and heat over medium heat.
Add about 3 - 4 tbsp of oil or grease to the dish.
Add in the onion, carrots, turnip and potato and let it cook in the oil for about 5 minutes.  Stir frequently to prevent sticking or burning.
Add in the meat and the garlic and continue to cook for another 5 minutes.
Meanwhile, in a bowl add the mixed herbs, salt, curry powder, worcestershire sauce and soy sauce together until it forms a paste (add a little water if needed)
Add the paste to the meat and veggies and mix well.  Turn the heat down to med/low and add in the beef stock and the honey.  Stir until well mixed.  Cover and simmer for about an hour over low heat.
Check the tastes and adjust (i.e. add pepper sauce) if necessary.

The house is quiet.  Amazingly, Blessedly quiet.  I've been longing for quiet lately.  It's a craving in my gut.  I can't think of a time in my life when the noise of life has felt like such a heavy weight to bear.  At 6:30 p.m. last evening I went to my room - like a teenager.  I went there by myself.  I curled up in bed and read some.  Then my eyes felt heavy and I let myself doze a little.  After that I read some more.  I didn't feel like eating more than I felt like staying put.  So I stayed put.  Every time the door to my room opened the noise felt deafening, jarring.  I didn't want to interact. No questions, thank you very much, because I'll feel coerced to answer.  No music.  No voices from a computer screen or tv coming at me.  I even turned a fan on in my room so that I couldn't hear anything from the floor below.  I stayed in my room until 8:30 a.m. this morning.
I'm not sure if I'm an extrovert or an introvert and to be quite frank, I don't care.  I get impatient with labels (I'm remembering, back in the early nineties, a friend of mine peddling and pushing personality tests like doing it would get me into heaven) because I think that it can prevent us from truly listening to our 'self' and to what we need at any given time.  It can also excuse a hell of a lot of behaviour that we should in all honesty seek to change.  So this weekend I'm an introvert.  Next weekend or even tomorrow, I might be an extrovert.  Maybe not today but on another day and in a moment of gritty honesty I would tell you that I'm some of both and that I think we all are.  I would also add that it's probably really important that we are all some combination of both.  Can we allow this duality to exist within our 'self' (I'm not sure why I'm putting that word into quotes but it seems like the right thing to do at this moment).


Admittedly, I'm not comfortable with duality.  We've been socially conditioned for generations now to avoid it.  All black or white.  Not a blend and never both.  It's wrong politically.  It's wrong religiously. It's wrong morally... and all that.  I'm working on relearning those ideas.  I'm working on feeling okay about how much I squirm when faced with it.  I'm working on embracing the idea of needing that duality.  We need to have both right and left in our society and in ourselves.  We need each other.  We need the happy and the sad, the good and the bad.  It gives us the depths of feeling, emotion and appreciation that connect us together.  We need *ahem* the black and the white.  And we need the quiet and the loud. Today I'm happily hugging up the quiet.  We're drinking each other in with gusto.


There are certain constants for me though and the desire to get my hands dirty both outside in the garden and inside the kitchen doesn't change.  Whatever the emotional place I'm in, the getting of my hands dirty feeds it in the best of ways.  Given that my sweet potatoes were nearly on the outs and that I had been meaning to make something like this for a long time, today was the the perfect day to dive into the project.  These definitely make a winter meal and would go beautifully with some kind of braised meat.  I choose to serve mine with some winter greens and bacon.  The greens are definitely a must, the bacon definitely optional.  I've cooked up enough for all of us to have a taste and then I put the rest (uncooked) into the freezer.  I still didn't feel much like eating today but I did down some of these and I'm the better for it.


Sweet Potato Gnocchi adapted from Aida Mollencamp
serves 6 - 8

3 med sized sweet potatoes, halved
2 med/sm russet potatoes, halved
oil of choice
2 tsp + a sprinkling of salt
dash or two of pepper
1/2 cup parmesan, grated
1 egg, beaten
1/2 cup whole wheat (or Red Fife) flour
1 - 1 1/2 cups unbleached, all purpose flour

Heat oven to 350°F.
Rub the halved sweet potato and regular potatoes with oil, sprinkle with salt and roast on a roasting pan for about 30 minutes or until soft.  Remove from oven and cool.  Scoop the insides of the sweet potatoes and potatoes into a bowl.  Mash with a masher, forks or a hand blender (that's what I used).
Add in the 2 tsp of salt and a dash or two of pepper.  Mix and add the parmesan cheese, beaten egg, the whole wheat flour and about 3/4 - 1 cup of all purpose flour.  Mix well.  If the dough is still damp but doesn't stick to your hand then it's fine and you don't need to add any more flour.
Turn out onto a lightly floured surface.  Form the dough into a square(ish) kind of shape and slice into about 8 logs.  Flour your hands and roll the log out until it's about 1/2 - 3/4 inch in diameter.  Slice into about 1 1/2 inch long pieces.  You can roll each piece with the fork tines or leave them as is.
[At this point you can place the pieces on a cookie sheet and freeze.  Once the pieces are frozen then you can put them into freezer bags - you might want to do this if you won't be eating them all at one time.  Once the gnocchi are cooked they don't keep.
You can also refrigerate for a few hours and bring to room temperature before cooking. ]
Bring a med/large pot of water to a boil.  Once boiling add a dash of salt.  Add the gnocchi to the boiling water and simmer for about 6 minutes.  The gnocchi will resemble the texture of dumplings at this point.
Have sauce ready.
Remove gnocchi from the simmering water with a slotted spoon and toss in the sauce that's ready.
Pour the gnocchi onto a plate and sprinkle with a little more parmesan cheese.
Serve.

Brown Butter Sauce
will do about half of the gnocchi

1/4 cup butter
1/8 - 1/4 cup onion, finely chopped
12 (or so) fresh sage leaves

Heat a heavy bottomed sauce pan over med heat.  Add the butter and onion.  Continue to simmer the butter over medium heat.  Add the sage leaves for about 2 minutes and then remove with a slotted spoon.  Once the butter starts to turn brown then turn the heat down.
Toss with the gnocchi and add in the sage leaves.

I have amended my Christmas wish list.  'Time' is now officially the first item on the list. I know that it makes no real sense to have 'Time' as part of my wish list because once Christmas is here I'll have lots of time.  Let's look at it as 'At least I know that I'm going to get what I want for Christmas' - oozing positivity.
I have so many recipes ready to go.
I have cookies to bake.
I have lemon curd to whip up.
I have chex mex to make.  This is important for the Christmas Eve movie that we will go to and sneak in our own snacks.
Although most things of worth have gone by the wayside lately, here are some of the things that I've managed to keep up with:
1.  Bathing and teeth brushing
2.  Birthday cake making
3.  Clothes washing... almost
4.  Breakfast
5.  Biking to work
6.  Letters to Santa (Kid #2 wrote a letter that went like this: Dear Santa - I want....... signed Kid #2.  Kid #1 got really upset and told him that if he didn't write some nice things to Santa first that he wouldn't get anything on his list.  You can't just send Santa a list!  He was confused and more than a little frustrated but wrote the letter anyway)
7.  An early gift to myself.  This took a little more of that precious time than I had anticipated but it was so worth it and I'm thrilled and a little itchy.


So I'm keeping up in a manner of speaking.  However, when it comes to food I'm falling way way way behind.  It's pathetic.  And then there is the whole 'dark-in-the-middle-of-the-day' thing that is just totally wrecking photos for me.  It's bumming me out.  Curry helps.  Curry feels warm and sunny.  It reminds me that there are many places in the world that aren't dark, damp and cold.  If you find the curry powder amount sounds a little rash then by all means start with half the amount and ramp it up from there.  We prefer our curry kickin'.


I truly hope that you are finding some time for reflection and quiet.  I hope that you are making all the cookies and curds that your little heart desires.  I hope that your Chex Mex making schedule is right on target... and if it's not just know that you are not alone.


Cabbage and Squash Curry adapted from Simply in Season
serves 8

1 small onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
3- 4 cups butternut squash (or other winter squash), peeled, de-seeded and cut into 2 inch cubes
3 - 4 cups cabbage
2 lg potatoes, cut into 2 inch cubes
1 cup frozen peas or green beans

Curry seasoning:
2 bouillion cubes
1 full cup mild curry seasoning (I used west indian curry)
4 tbsp garam masala
2 tsp ginger
2 tsp cumin
2 tsp salt
pinch of pepper
1 tsp pepper sauce

2 tbsp soy sauce
1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
2 - 3 tbsp tomato sauce or paste
1 can (400 ml) chick peas
1 can (400 ml) coconut milk
2 tbsp honey

Preheat oven to 350° F.  Coat the squash cubes in oil and spread onto a baking sheet.  Roast for about 35 minutes or until turning golden brown on the outside and soft on the inside.  Remove from oven and set aside.
Heat a heavy bottomed soup pot or dutch oven over medium heat.
Add about 4 tbsp of oil or butter and then add in the onion and cubes potatoes.  Cook together for about 10 minutes (turning the heat down if necessary).  The potato should be browning on the outsides.  Add in the garlic and cabbage.  Turn the heat down to medium/low.  Make sure that the cabbage is coated in oil and continue to cook for about 10 minutes.  Stir when necessary to keep the vegetables from sticking.
In another bowl combine the boullion cubes (crushed up with your fingers), curry seasoning, garam masala, ginger, cumin and salt.  Add just enough water to form a paste.  Add in the soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce and tomato sauce.  Stir well.
Add the paste to the cooking vegetables.  Stir well.  Add the chickpeas, coconut milk and honey.  Stir well.  Add in the roasted squash and the frozen beans.  Mix well.  Check the tastes and adjust if necessary.
Cover and simmer about 15 minutes on low heat.
Serve with rice.

I kicked things off well by declaring that I was on a mission to cut down on sugar.  There are lots of reasons but health, energy and vitality are right at the top of the list.  But it seems that in the midst of my sugar cut down a lot of other things have been going on and it feels like I haven't really been cooking at all.
A close family member is terminally ill and we are all... waiting.  It's a very very sad time.  We are all feeling it.  How can you not.  We are each dealing with it in our own ways.  My daughter likes to just sit beside his bed and hold his hand.  She cries.  It's a beautiful, sad picture.  So many things occur to you when you are in that place - that space in your head.  Here are some of the things that have been rolling around:
The moments feel so large and long.  Like they last forever... yet it's only been an hour.
Here, at the end of it all, it's still hard to imagine that we will soon be without this person.  Through illness, pain and however dreadful things are at the moment it's still damn near impossible to think of the world without them.
It doesn't matter how perfectly I can rationalize the beauty of the circle of life or what my religious beliefs might be regarding the afterlife.  There is still the sadness of loss.  No matter what happens later on the fact remains that for now they are no longer here with us.
Even watching someone else slowly pass from life to death doesn't make it any easier to comprehend your own mortality.  Nope.  Not at all.

Kid #1 and I had a beautiful conversation about the trees and how beautiful they are looking.  We were noting what a beautiful, blow out ending the leaves give before they go.  It's like their swan song - those beautiful colours....

Kid #1... and then they drop and die.
Me... Well, not die really.  They change.  They become something other than a leaf but they still have an existence and in becoming that compost they feed new life.


I've made chicken pot pie.  There is something in the tradition and simplicity of it that appeals to me at the moment.  If you are wondering what to do with a leftover chicken carcass take my word for it and boil it down with some peppercorns, a bay leaf, a dash of Worcestershire, salt... boil it down for a good long time - an hour like.  Remove the bones but make sure that you take all the little pieces of chicken off first.  I got enough meat off of that (including the neck, liver, kidney and all of that) to make a fully decent pot pie once the veggies were added.  It's comfort food that reminds you of your Granny or Great Granny.  You feel all loved and warm inside... and possibly a little lonesome.


Red Fife Pie Crust adapted only slightly from 'Simply in Season'
makes enough for about 2 - 3 pies (depending on the size of your baking dish)

2 cups all purpose flour
1 cup red fife or whole wheat flour
1 tsp salt
1 cup unsalted butter, cold and cubed
1 egg
1/4 cup cold water
1 tsp apple cider vinegar

Combine the egg, water and apple cider vinegar together in a small bowl and set aside in the fridge to keep it cold.
Combine the flours and salt.  Drop in the butter and cut the butter into the flour (use a pastry cutter or two knives or even your fingers  - squish the butter pieces, don't use your fingers for long though because it will warm the butter which is not what you want to have happen) and continue until it looks like crumbly, pea sized pieces.
Add the egg and water mixture until it forms a ball (I used all of mine).  If you need a little more than add more cold water.  Cover the dough ball in plastic and rest it in the fridge for about 20 - 30 minutes.
Turn out onto a lightly floured surface - I divided mine in half here, you could make 3 pieces if it suites your sizes better.  Or you can freeze some for a later date.
Roll out with a rolling pin until it's between 1/4 and 1/8 of an inch thick.
Gently fold the pie crust in half and then once again so that it's easier to place on the pie...

Chicken Pot Pie

2 cups potato, cut into chunks
1 1/2 cups carrot, cut into chunks
1 leek, thinly sliced
1 cup green beans
1 cup mushrooms, quartered
3 cloves garlic, crushed
3 tbsp butter or oil
3 - 4 cups leftover chicken (diced) in it's broth or gravy
1 boullion cube
1 tsp salt
1 tsp honey
1 tsp pepper sauce
1/4 cup all purpose flour

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
Get a large baking dish (I used a large 9x13'ish' oval one) out and set aside.
Heat a heavy bottomed pot (big enough to fit everything) over medium heat.  Add in the butter and then the veggies.  Cook the veggies together for about 10 minutes or until the potatoes begin to soften.  Add in the chicken with liquid, bouillon cube, salt, honey and pepper sauce.  Cook together for another 10 minutes.  Add in the flour and stir to mix.  If it's not thick enough then feel free to add in a little more flour.
Pour into the baking dish.
Cover with the pie crust.  Press down gently and let the crust run up the sides of the pot a bit.
Bake for about 20 minutes or until the crust is turning golden brown on the edges.
Cool for a good 15 minutes before cutting into it and serving.

I totally know that we're all back to school and everything.
I know that even when we were in Vermont in August that some of the trees were showing signs of starting to be tinged with red.
I know that you probably had to grab a sweater when you went out the other night.
I know that when I jumped on my bike two days ago that I thought I would die in my short sleeve t-shirt.
I know all of that but I still can't let go of summer.  It still is summer... just a little.
I know because:
It's not my birthday yet.
I'm still sweaty after biking or running during the day.
My Mom hasn't contacted me about Thanksgiving dinner yet.
The new season of TV hasn't started yet.
There are still lots of tomatoes and corn at the market...


When I saw the corn there I knew that I just had to buy it.  When I spoke with the farmer he told me that this is probably the last of it.  The cold nights mess with the sugar in the corn too much and it goes all bland and boring.  A whole dozen cobs of corn came home with me tonight.  Along with tomatoes and nectarines, and locally made cream cheese (with chili peppers... come on) and more potatoes than I know what to do with for 4 dollars.  It was all a little heavy but totally worth it.  Totally.
So, if you have some corn that needs love and attention and you want to continue deluding yourself into believing that summer will continue forever then please try this recipe.  It is seriously one of the easiest and tastiest things that I've made in about a week... no joke.


Just for the record, I took some while it was still warm and spooned it onto some lettuce, topped it with some halved cherry tomatoes and drizzled with just a little homemade mayo.  Divine.  I love you summer.


Corn, Potato and Green Bean Side adapted from 'The Kitchn'
serves 4

3 1/2 cups potatoes, cut into about 2 - 3 inch cubes
1/4 cup red onion, thinly sliced
2 cups green beans, cut into 3 - 4 inch lengths
2 cups fresh corn kernels
3 slices of bacon, diced
3 - 4tbsp butter
1 tbsp honey
juice of 1/2 a lemon
salt to taste

Bring a medium/small pot of water to a boil.  Add the potatoes and simmer at medium heat for about 8 minutes or until the potatoes are just barely softened.  Scoop out the potatoes with a slotted spoon and set aside.
Place the green beans in the same water and simmer for about 3 minutes or until just beginning to soften.  Drain the water from the beans and add the beans to the potatoes.
Heat a wok or dutch oven over medium heat.
Add in the bacon and cook for about 4 minutes or until the bacon is getting brown and crispy.  Add in the butter and cook for another 5 minutes.  Add in the onion and cook for about 3 minutes.
Add the corn kernels, the cooked potatoes and green beans.  Turn the heat down just a little.  Toss regularly.  Add in a little more butter if the mixture gets too dry.
Add a pinch of salt, honey and the lemon juice.
Check the tastes and adjust if necessary.
Serve