This is time. Not coming up to Christmas. Certainly not January through March. It's this time of year. From the end of March until the end of the school year is the time that seems to slip through my fingers. I can't keep up with the date or which weekend is which because they are flying by so quickly. Before I know it the end of March has turned into the first week of June and spring has gone bye bye and I've somehow missed it all. The seasonal garden centre near my house is closing up shop and I haven't even gotten a chance to get in there let along put as much as a trowel into the ground. The rhubarb is as good as gone and I think that there might have been a long weekend and a wedding anniversary tucked in there but I can't quite remember.
I'm not sure why it happens. Could be in part due to the time change that we are forced to participate in twice a year (One guess as to which side of that argument I fall on) Might be that the days are getting longer - but one would think that might cause time to slow down a bit. Could also be that just when I want more time to stop and smell the roses that aren't quite out yet that's when everything else kicks into high gear. Concert season looms. The yearly concert tour is imminent. Events and gala appearances are piling up. Kids are gearing up for the end of the school year (and this will be our first  set of high school exams!) And let's not forget the many shows on netflix that I have waiting in my cue - haven't even touched those yet. Kid #1 and I are still working through season two of Gilmore Girls and it's taken us months to get that far.


Then there is this recipe. I was so happy that for one evening I had the house to myself. By 'evening' I mean two hours after 7pm. In that time I got the recipe out of the oven, seasoned properly, adequately photo'd and entire recipe entered as a draft. So much accomplished... and that was three weeks ago. THREE. I cringe and whither a little on the inside when I think about it for long.
As such, I've decided that Easter weekend will also be a second thanksgiving weekend for me because I need to remind myself of the things that are good and that will sustain me through the frenetic pace of the next 8 weeks.
1. Winter is gone. Even though it doesn't exactly always feel like it, it is gone. The temperatures will get better and better.
2. After months of mourning I have discovered (to quote the title here) that there is a god who cares about humanity. Here is my proof
3. Music still inspires me. Thank you D'Angelo, Kendrick Lamar, Hey Rosetta, SIA, Die Antwoord and Mafikizolo.
4. Cadbury mini eggs are no longer seasonal.
5. Nickel Brook Headstock IPA exists and is a beautiful thing.  Best part: it is available near me at a place that also serves great food.
6. I can run outside again without four layers on.
7. It is virtually impossible to destroy pork and beans.
What more can be said? I'm sure I will think of other things to be thankful for but the general theme will be unchanged. Happy Eastergiving.


My version of Pork and Beans
serves 6 - 8

2 - 3 lb pork roast
1 medium onion
3 carrots, coarsely chopped
2 ribs celery, coarsely chopped
1 med fennel bulb
4 cloves garlic, crushed
1 1/4 cup navy beans, dry
2 boullion cubes
2 1/2 tsp salt
2 bay leaf
1/4 cup brown sugar
2 tbsp worcestershire
2 - 3 tbsp soy sauce
2 - 3 cups water
2 tbsp tomato paste
2 tbsp molasses
1 tsp apple cider vinegar
pepper sauce to taste

Preheat oven to 300°F
Heat a heavy bottomed/oven friendly dutch oven over medium/low heat.
Add about 3 tbsp of oil.
Add the veggies (except for the garlic) and turn the heat down a little. Heat for about 10 min, stirring to keep from sticking. add in the garlic. Cook for another 5 minutes.
Add the boullion cubes, salt, bay leaf, brown sugar, worcestershire, soy sauce and water. Mix well.
Add the navy beans and mix, making sure that the water completely covers the beans with about a half inch of liquid extra.
Add the pork roast.
Roast covered for about 3 hours, checking every hour that the water is good and it's not going dry.
After 3 hours remove from oven and check the beans for doneness (are they soft) and the pork as well (it should be more than enough time). If it needs more time then put it back in for another 30 minutes at 250°F and check again.
Once everything is done, remove the pork from the bean mixture.
Add the tomato paste, molasses and apple cider vinegar to the beans and mix well. Check taste and add salt or more molasses if necessary (and a little pepper sauce in there as well ;-)
Cut the pork roast into large pieces (or large chunks if it is just falling apart like mine) and place back in with the beans.
Serve with mashed potato, crusty break or nothing at all.

Yay Me.  I think that this may be the first week in many many many where I have managed to get two posts out.  I'm feeling a little self congratulatory about it and may even make up some kind of award for myself.  On second thought, maybe I will wait until my track record starts to become consistently better before going the award route.  And with that, off we go on what promises to be one of my most scattered posts to date.
 For mother's day/anniversary (which happened on the same day this year) D gave me a new camera lense which I love and am getting used to whenever I have time to play around with it.  I'm looking forward to some hikes, portraits and lots of food shots with this lens.  I have gotten a little time to play though and done a couple of head shots for D who was doing a show this week that required such things.
In other news:
1.  Our house is all over the place right now.  We have finally organized ourselves enough to fund a reno and fix project and have taken the plunge.  What this means is that I have 50% of a kitchen (which will probably become 0% very soon), that our front stairs have no flooring on them and that our backyard space is a combination of rotting deck (that is soon to get ripped out), drywall and dead cabinets.  We are purging like crazy (easy to do) and trying not to get frustrated (hard to do).


2.  Our kids have applied, auditioned, gotten letters, been put on waiting lists and finally have both gotten into schools of their first choice.  The relief I feel about this is palpable and when they were on waiting lists for one reason or another I felt a real sense of failure as a parent.  My reaction surprised me and I haven't taken time to pull it apart yet.
3.  D is having a crazy May.  I am having a crazy May and it just fuels my i-hate-december-and-may thing.  The problem is that this crazy that's been going on doesn't exactly look like it's letting up any time soon.  TIRED.  Silver lining - refer to #, sentence 2.  $$$

This has to be my worst photo on this blog... and who would do this to a cake BTW?  A seven year old apparently.

4.  I haven't baked in a long time - except for today when I was asked by kid #2 for a cake to celebrate his school acceptance (please refer to item #1).  I haven't calculated how long exactly but it's a long time for me - over a month for sure.  Feels weird... when I have time to think about it.  I also haven't gotten my bike out yet.  This is very very weird and it has to end.  I took my bike in for the annual tune up today.
5.  I had an interesting conversation with a colleague about how I am doing (or not doing) and what some strategies might be to feel better about myself.  My non-work life is angst ridden and changing all the time which is guess is normal and healthy.  Parenting is stressing me out... I'm learning to deal with it.
6.  It's a good thing that I remembered to pull this out of the fridge, heat a bowl up and take some pictures of it the day after I made it because very very shortly after that it was gone.  Of course that's a good thing because it means that it tasted good.  Even better is that this is good for you (I'm going to studiously avoid using 'healthy').  There is meat in here but you could definitely leave it out and add in more beans without losing much.  I get more buy in with kids when the meat is present.  If the meat doesn't buy you anything then go for a meatless version.

Playing with the new lens and nailing the background focus totally.

7.  You may be wondering why you haven't seen these wonderful, life changing pictures of the fiddlehead ragu.  Turns out, after all of my self congratulation, that my sd card got compromised.  So I have some lovely reno shots, a shot of basil and some of the cake that kid #2 asked for (refer to item #2).  Well that's funny.  After going back to bed and crying into my pillow for a while, D suggested I post the recipe anyway because it was so good.  The flattery worked and even though you are seeing tools, basil and a cake this is a really good recipe that you should try and if you think to take pictures send them to me please.

Fiddleheads, Sausage and Bean ragu
serves 6 - 8

1/2 cup onion, diced
2 med carrots, coarsely sliced
3 cloves garlic, crushed
1 lb sausage, uncooked and cut into slices
1 1/2 boullion cubes
1 tbsp dried oregano
1 tbsp dried basil
2 tbsp soy sauce
2 tbsp ketchup
1 tbsp Worcestershire Sauce
2 1/2 (approx) cups fiddleheads, stem tips removed
2 - 3 cups spinach, stems remove and coarsely chopped
1 1/2 tsp cumin
1 1/2 tsp salt
400 ml (1 small can) cannellini beans, half drained
1/3 cup water (optional)
1/2 tsp pepper sauce (optional)

Heat a heavy bottomed dutch oven or pot (I used a caste iron thing) over medium heat.
Once heated, turn the heat down to med/low and add about 2 tbsp of oil or fat.
Add in the onion and carrot.  Cook for about 7 min or until the onion is starting to caramelize.
Add in the garlic and sausage and cook together for another 5 minutes.
Add in the bouillon cubes, oregano, basil, soy sauce, ketchup and worcestershire sauce.  Mix and cook together for another 5 minutes to let the flavours mingle.
Add in the fiddleheads, cumin and salt.  Mix well
Add the half drained cannellini beans and the spinach.  Mix well and cover, turning down the heat to low.  Uncover after about 20 minutes.  If it looks a little dry add in some of the water.
Simmer uncovered for about 30 minutes more.
Check the tastes and adjust if necessary.  Add a little pepper sauce.

Serve with mashed potato or rice.

It seems like yesterday that I was running around Italy with 180 boys.  It wasn't yesterday though, it was last April.  Seven whole months ago.  It seems like yesterday though because I've been running around small town Ontario for the last two days with 180 boys.  Italy vs Small Town Ontario?  I won't comment.
We just finished a very short, whirl-wind tour to kick off our 2013 Christmas Concert Season.  You forget the pain of tour so quickly when it's over and then it hits you so quickly once you are back in the saddle again.  The exhaustion.  The lack of food.  The constant running.  The long hours.  The stress of concert after concert.  The tour becomes your life for that period of time.  You forget that you used to like breakfast and reading the paper.  You forget that eating could be a pleasant experience.  You forget that the internet is a real thing and that news is still happening somewhere.
In the 48 hours while I was away Kid #1 got her first 'Will you go out with me' request (which she declined but they are still friends apparently) and handed in her high school applications, Kid #2 had a play date and skipped Karate class and D played a dance class for a Canadian dance Icon.  That's just the news at our address - the stuff I missed within the walls of the little place we call home.  Just imagine what else happened out there.
When it comes to food on tour it's usually pretty depressing and the last 48 hours have done nothing to lift my mood.  Day one presented pizza, apples and granola bars for lunch and dinner was lasagna, salad and a bun.  Day two brought us pizza for lunch (no apple, no granola bar) and lasagna, salad and a bun for dinner.  I'm sensing a theme here.  I know that it's hard to successfully feed 200 people on a budget but it's like the two churches (in different towns no less) got the same deal or something.  Day one I ate 4 apples and two cartons of chocolate milk, 1 salad and half a bun with two bites of lasagna thrown in there before I gave up.  Day two: 1 salad and a bun with two bites of lasagna before giving up.
Lessons learned from this tour:
1. Most boys under the age of 30 are more concerned with how much food there is rather than what that food tastes like.
2. If given the choice between church coffee and church tea, always choose tea.


This soup is neither pizza nor lasagna and although it tasted great nobody was jazzed about eating it except kid #2 (oddly) I think that a couple of days alone with my tour menu would fix them all right up.


Roasted Celeriac and Fennel with Kale and White Beans Soup
serves 8

1 med sized celeriac (celery root), peeled and cut into 1 1/2 inch chunks
2 small fennel bulbs, thickly sliced
3 cloves of garlic, whole and still in the skin
grease or oil to coat
1 leek, washed and thinly sliced
2 cups kale (I used lacinato/black kale), torn or sliced into rough slices
1 can (about 1 cup) white beans (cannellini or navy bean), drained and rinsed
4 cups good broth (I used leftover turkey broth - surprise surprise)
1 tbsp parsley, oregano, marjoram
1 tsp rosemary
1/4 tsp nutmeg
2 tsp salt
1/2 cup parmesan
1/2 - 3/4 cup milk

Preheat oven to 350°F
On a baking sheet, spread out the celeriac chunks, fennel and garlic.  Toss everything in some oil or grease.  Spread out evenly on the baking sheet and sprinkle with a little salt and pepper.  Roast for about 35 - 40 min or until everything is soft and golden brown.
Remove from oven and set aside.
Heat a large soup pot or dutch oven over med/low heat.  Add a little oil or butter (about 1-2 tbsp) and the leeks.  Let them cook over low heat for about 7 - 8 minutes.  Remove the casing from the roasted garlic and add the roasted veggies to the leeks.  Stir to mix.  Add about half of the broth and heat through.
In a blender or using an immersion blender, blitz everything until it is a smooth consistency.  (Pour back into the pot if you took it out to blend) Add the rest of the broth and stir to heat through.  Add the herbs, nutmeg and salt.  Mix well.  Check the taste.
Add in the kale, beans and parmesan and heat through until the parmesan has melted in.
Add about 1/2 cup of milk - more if you would like it a little thinner.
Check the taste and adjust (like by adding pepper sauce) if necessary.

The first week of the next 10 months is squarely behind us all.  Thank Jeebus.  It felt like the starting gun went off and the race is on.  It won't stop now until June 2014.  Long race.  I went to the staff social on Friday after work.  This is newsworthy because I never go.  Nobody noticed because we were all too shell shocked to really converse with each other in any meaningful way.  No amount of alcohol could help us.
Kid #2 has added to his PTSD-inducing-non-stop-talking by way of making movies on my phone.  He sets up the phone on the couch so that it's at precisely the right angle to catch his moves (talking non-stop) and then records himself acting out some sword fight from something or other.  Full sound effects and stage worthy bow at the end.  Who says violent video games don't do damage.  He's done about 12 movies so far.  The only thing that changes is the lighting (afternoon into evening).  I have already deleted 6.
Kid #1 is happily walking into 'teen land' having started at a new school (an arts school which she had to audition for and we're very proud of her for getting accepted into).  We've been inundated with stories of new friends, new teachers (all of whom are epic apparently) and how today's dance class was... oh yeah, and can I take clarinet lessons (god... NO)
Huffington Post classified this piece as 'Weird News' but I don't think that there is anything weird about it.  In fact, I was thankful for the information and appreciated the commitment to education that the artist displays.  Be warned: There is audio that kicks in automatically (which I can't stand Huffington Post... Please make it my choice, Thank You) so if your kids aren't comfortable with the word 'clitoris' then think about volume.


First pay cheque day is not until the middle of the month which means we are still scrounging around and making whatever we can find in cupboards and the freezer.  Beans are my friend.  Orzo is cheap but looks classy.  Fortunately, being the end of summer means that vegetables are plentiful.  Also, fortunate that I haven't used everything in the freezer from last year.  I think that the very last thing will be soup with last years frozen green beans and broccoli along with whatever is dying in the crisper.  I would guess that this dish comes in at well under 10$ in total but don't quote me on that.  If it's not under 10$ then it's awfully damn close which is saying something when it makes that much food.


Corn, Zucchini and Tomato Orzo adapted from Eat to Thrive
serves 6-8

1 generous cup orzo, uncooked
1/2 cup onion
1 med/lg zucchini, thinly sliced
3 cups cremini or button mushroom, stems removed and quartered
1 cup corn kernels
1 can (about 400 ml) black beans, drained and rinsed
2 cups diced tomato (keep the juice)
3/4 cup vegetable broth
2 tsp honey
2 tsp salt
2 tsp chili powder
1 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp chipotle powder
1/2 tsp cardamom
1 cup cheddar cheese, shredded

Bring about 3 cups of water to a boil.  Add salt and then the orzo.  Cook until al dente (about 8 minutes).  Drain - reserving some liquid - and set aside.
Heat a heavy bottomed dutch oven or large pot over med heat.  Add about 2 tbsp oil.
Add the onion and the zucchini.  Cook for about 6 or 7 minutes, stirring regularly.
Add the mushrooms and cook for another 5 minutes - turn down the heat a bit if you need to.
Add in the corn kernels and drained black beans.  Mix well
Add the tomato with the juice, vegetable broth, honey, salt, chili powder, cumin, chipotle powder and cardamom.  Mix and simmer at med/low heat for a few minutes.
Turn the heat down to low and add in the cooked orzo - add a little bit of the pasta water - and mix well.
Add the cheddar cheese and mix.  Remove from heat, cover and allow the cheese to melt for about 5 minutes.
Serve.

Here are some musings to start out your week.
According to this book we now have a new list of things we're not supposed to eat:
Salmon
Asparagus
Black Beans (maybe all beans - not sure)
Tomatoes
Apparently they make us 'inflame' - whatever the hell that's supposed to really mean.  Ugh.

If you are having some trouble keeping your man around and/or you want to ensure that you'll be keeping the one you've got close by then give this article a read.  It worked in the fifties - unfortunately women alcoholics were at epidemic levels but I'm sure that this is a coincidence.  I'd say a shopping trip for lacy, pink gitch (our word for underwear) is in order.


The huge food box this week.  I ordered hella stuff... not even all of it is pictured.  This is my form of retail therapy - forget the lacy, pink hitch.  Already freezing the blueberries for later use.

This guy is at the top of the charts in the UK.  This makes me more than a little jealous and definitely angry at the state of popular music in North America.  The first time I heard the song I thought it was good.  The second time I listened I thought it was really good.  The third time I put it on I repeated it three times.  Watch the video all the way to the end... PLEASE.

This article reminds me that sadly we don't learn from history.  I understand militant feminism, I really do... I'm just not always comfortable with it.  I'm glad that the author here makes the point that this is not a new phenomenon but rather centuries old.

D put me onto this comic strip.  'Why I run'.  Amazing.  I understand the 'Blerch'.  Reading it resonated but felt oddly vulnerable, almost emotional at the same time.

BTDub - I made peach ice cream again and wanted to post it because I changed the sweetener in the recipe to a mixture of brown sugar and .... wait for it... honey.  I know, right.  Then it felt lame and I decided not to post it.  Plus I just felt kinda lame for even making ice cream again and posting the recipe would feel super-hero-lame but now that I've written it down here I suppose that none of it makes any difference.


I'm digging deep with this recipe because it's emptying the dregs of my fridge.  The leftover roast chicken.  The broth that I made from the carcass of the chicken.  The frozen corn that needed to be used up from last year.  Ok - that's the freezer I realize.  The dreaded, inflammatory black beans.  I left out the equally inflammatory tomatoes though - god be praised.  We can eat this with only half of the guilt and bloating that we might otherwise feel if it were made with tomatoes.  I couldn't call this white chili because it's not.  It's speckled.  Speckled chili sounds weird and unappetizing.  So this is officially chicken chili.  More like chicken and bean stew with chili seasoning but you get the idea.  You will notice that it doesn't have much in the way of spices because I discovered that I'm out of things like cumin and ground coriander which sucks.  I seasoned this bad boy up well enough though and thanks to a well done broth it came out quite tasty.  Feel free to season yours as you might any other chili.  This came together for me in about 20 minutes.


Chicken Chili with Black Beans and Corn adapted from 'Simply in Season'

1 med onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, crushed
2 - 3 cups cooked chicken, diced
2 cans black beans (or a mix of black and red kidney), drained and rinsed
4 cups chicken broth (or vegetable broth) - low salt if possible
1 1/2 cups corn
2 tsp salt
3 - 4 tbsp chili powder (to your taste)
2 tbsp oregano
1 tbsp thyme
1/2 tsp chipotle powder
3 - 4 tbsp corn starch
1/4 cup (or so) fresh coriander, roughly chopped (I did not have this lying around)
heaping 1/2 cup cheddar or jack cheese, shredded

Heat a large, heavy bottomed dutch oven over medium heat.
Add a couple of heaping tbsp of olive oil (or whatever you use).  Throw in the onion and sauté for about 2 minutes.  Turn the heat down to med/low and add in the garlic.  Cook together until the onion is soft and a little browned on the edges.
Add in the diced chicken, rinsed beans, chicken broth and corn.
Heat through just until starting to simmer and then turn the heat down just low enough to keep the stew barely simmering.
Add the salt, chili powder, oregano, thyme, chipotle powder and mix well.
Add in the corn starch just a tbsp at a time, mix well after each addition.  Add only enough corn starch to get the liquid to the thickness that you are happy with.
Add in the coriander and the cheese and mix.
Check the taste and adjust if necessary.
Simmer for another 15 - 20 minutes and serve with a dollop or sour cream and some more sprinkled cheese.

We are in the middle of a delicious heat wave in Toronto.  Oh sure, it's not my favourite thing but I'm damned if you find me complaining about it because before we all know it I'll be jumping on my bike in the middle of December cursing the cold and trying desperately to remember what it felt like to have the skin melted off of my bones.  Not one complaint.
There are however, some challenges when houses are built to keep in the heat rather than keeping cool.  We've managed to keep the air conditioning off during the day and use it only at night to ensure that we sleep and to cool the house down just enough for the next day.  Food becomes difficult though.  How do you eat and not heat up the whole house.  Canning hasn't even begun.  I can't imagine doing water bath canning in this heat.  I see all kinds of posts for jam and that kind of thing and I wonder where these people live.  My fruit is chilling out in the freezer.  Baking is absolutely out of the question.  We're not big BBQr's but we've resorted a time or two.  I've been working to come up with some things that we can eat and feel satisfied with but aren't just salads (which no one except me would eat anyway).
This is one of the things that I 'created'.  Almost no cooking required.  Just the couscous which is so barely cooking that it's hardly worth mentioning.


In other challenges...
Here is the food box contents for this week.  Decidedly green but a couple of colourful additions just to get my hopes up.



I am trying valiantly to not lose it in my own house but I swear if I here 'Hey Mom?' or 'Mooooom!' one more time... I just want to have space in my house to do my own thing.  I won't get into serious specifics but there comes a time in every day where I would like them to disappear to their rooms for the duration.  Oh to be able to watch a crappy movie or some trashy show with no questions.  To be able to eat some chips... or a whole bag... without anyone else asking to have some.  To get through the day without Kid #1 asking for money to do something with her friends and then trying to figure out what she can do to earn the money.  It's been all I can do to get them through two meals a day (they usually but not always take care of their own breakfast - thank jeebus)  Sometimes I just retreat to my room and just lie there on my bed with the fan going.  I've discovered that if the fan is going and I close the door then I can almost not hear anything downstairs.

Due to the heat I am working on shifting gears with my workout routine.  Running is a definite challenge in this weather but not just because of heat.  The air quality is more of an issue than heat.  Early morning or late evening are the only times when running for any distance is a possibility because it quickly becomes uncomfortable or even difficult to breathe.  Anything during daytime/rush hour times are that much worse because of the vehicle emissions as well as the temperature.  Fortunately up to now I've been able to find a day during the week that isn't sweltering in order to get my long run in.  The best news is that I'm up to 11k and no pain in either my foot or in my shin.


Corn, Black Bean and Couscous Tortilla's adapted from Food.com
makes 8 - 10 tortilla's

2 cups cooked couscous
1/3 cup onion, diced
1 cup (1 lg) red pepper, diced
1 lg can (1 1/2 cups) black beans, drained
1 1/2 cups corn (roasted would be nice but not necessary)
3 - 4 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp lemon or lime juice
1 tsp cumin
1 1/2 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp chipotle powder
1 1/2 tsp salt
dash of sugar

Combine diced onion and peppers together.  Add in the black beans and corn.  Mix well.
Add the olive oil, lemon juice, cumin, chili powder, chipotle powder, salt and dash of sugar.  Mix well. Add the cooked couscous and mix.  [Couscous - add 1 3/4 cups boiling water to 1 cup of dry couscous.  Cover and set aside for about 5 - 10 minutes (or whenever you need it).  Break it up with a fork and you're good to go]
Add it as filling to tortilla shells - a little cheese, sour cream, thinly sliced radishes and garlic scape sauce.

Garlic Scape Taco Sauce adapted from My Kitchen Addicition
makes about 1 - 1 1/2 cups

4 cups garlic scapes, diced very small
2 jalepeno pepper, seeded (optional depending on how hot you want it) and diced
3 tbsp lemon juice
2 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp lemon zest
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp sugar
1/3 - 1/2 cup water

Throw everything in a blender (start with just 1/3 cup of water though) and blend until it forms a thick paste - add a little more water to thin out as necessary.  I started the blender on chop and gradually worked up to liquify.

Life is learning.  To learn is to live.
I'm learning with salad.  Salad and I have a love/hate relationship.  I know it's good for me but I think it's lame.  I know that everybody likes when I post salad 'recipes' because we all think that we're better people for eating it... but I still think it's lame.  Sometimes, in my laziest moments, I will wash two or three big leaves of some kind of green and stuff them down my throat just to appease the salad pushing monster in my head.  The last few 'salads' that I made were disgusting.  There is always way too much of a good thing... even with salad.  I now feel that I have adequately explored the too much and am learning to keep it more simple.  My favourite salad used to be a chickpea and carrot adaptation from 'Moosewood'.  So I've kind of channelled that salad while adapting another one that I found online.  Wonder of wonders, I liked it.
This salad process has gotten me thinking.  I was out today with Kid #2.  It was his first day on a two wheeler bike.  I held onto the back while he worked to steer and watch where he was going and keep the pedals turning and balance himself.  Of course I can't let go of that bike but the reality is that he's not really going to be able to truly learn how to ride until I do let go.  The only thing that my holding is doing is keeping him from falling over and/or getting so frustrated that he stops trying.  Everything else he won't get until he can do it on his own.  How much of that learning do we carry with us throughout our entire lives?  I still feel like that's how I learn.  You can tell me.  You can show me.  You can help me.  Ultimately, I won't understand those things until I start trying on my own and making the mistakes I need to make in order to get it.  Cooking and baking are very much like that.  It's not something you just get... at least I didn't.  I've never been scared of it but I've also made my fair share of mistakes, disasters and ho-hum dishes.  At my best, I try to learn from the mistake and at my laziest I simply don't stop trying.  Effort - there it is.  Effort is required.  I have to try - I can't stop trying.  Like Kid #2 on his bike.  It's going to take him a few days but he'll get there.  All of a sudden I won't have to hold on to the back of the bike so that he doesn't fall over and then I'll let go... and he'll fall over but he'll get it.  Motivation will keep him getting back on that bike until he can do it without thinking.


I've made a lot of mistakes lately - a lot.  Fortunately for me, I have people in my life who not only love me but who stick around.  Mistakes are embarrassing.  I am muddling my way through learning new stuff all the time and I'm hoping that it's what keeps us alive on the inside - thinking, feeling (good stuff and bad), challenging and making efforts.  This salad was a lesson for me in simplicity (can we stop with the four kinds of protein in one salad, please), in humility (ok - that absolutely blew, let's try it again) and in satisfaction (this one sucks a whole lot less and maybe salad can not be lame).
I'm probably reading a whole lot into salad because I need to write some crap before I give you the recipe.  Whatever.  I'm not gonna write a book about it or anything but I did get a decent salad and it all made me feel very very healthy... Salad Pushing Monster appeased for another day.


Green Bean and Chickpea, Parsley Salad adapted from Simple Provisions

2 cups fresh green bean, trimmed and cut into about 1 1/2 inch lengths
1 400g tin (about 2 cups) chiced and cut into about 1 1/2 inch lengths
3 green onion, diced
2 med garlic cloves, crushed
2 tbsp lemon juice
2 tbsp balsamic vinegar
5 tbsp olive oil
1 1/2 tsp salt
dash of pepper
dash of sugar
2 dashes of cayenne
2 cups fresh parsley, coarsely chopped
1/2 cup (approx.) good quality feta, crumbled

Have a bowl of cold water and ice cubes ready.
In a saucepan bring about 3 cups of water to a boil.  Add in the green beans and simmer for 4 minutes.
Immediately drain the beans and throw them into the ice cube bowl for about 5 minutes.  Drain on a clean towel to dry them off.  Set aside.
In a large bowl or dish add the chickpeas (with extra liquid), green onion, garlic, lemon juice, balsamic vinegar, salt, pepper, sugar and cayenne together.  Mix well.
Add in the dry green beans and mix well.
Add in the parsley and mix.
Add in the feta and mix.
Check the taste and adjust if necessary.
Refrigerate for about 3 hrs.

The good news:
Summer Break has just started... like just now.  This means that I can begin to rebuild that thing called a 'life at home'.  I have vague memories of it - the cooking and baking, the sweeping, the cleaning, the kids.  This is good.  This also means that I should be able to post more than one thing per week here because I know that this blog basically keeps your world turning.
More good news:  It looks like my shin problem was very short lived and since my foot is doing much better I'm going to slowly start ramping up my running and see if I might be able to hobble through a half marathon in the fall.

The bad news:
All of this stuff will happen but hasn't yet happened.
This Salad.


This Salad and I failed together.  We're on the outs... maybe permanently.  I had high hopes for it and it disappointed me thoroughly but it was my fault - I think.  It was supposed to be simple - a chick pea, feta, parsley thing.  That was where it started.  Then I saw that there were radishes and peppers in the fridge.  Into the bowl they went.  Oh yeah... then cucumber.  Chopped and into the bowl.  And What?  I've got a can of tuna in the cupboard... can't leave that out.  You guessed it - into the bowl.  What I ended up with was a crazy mish mash of a salad.  I mean, how much protein does one salad need.  My advice, should you be brave enough to go for it, is to omit the tuna entirely... and maybe the cucumber too... and maybe less feta if there is less salad.
Damn - I ate this for four days straight.  D doesn't believe in salad with dressing ever.  Only stuff with nothing dressingy in or on it.  Kid #1 and Kid #2 - they probably didn't even know that the salad existed in our fridge but the knowledge wouldn't have made a difference one way or another.  I could barely stomach it, I sure wasn't going to force it down anyone else's throat.  Serving salad is an optimistic endeavour in our house at the best of times and this one was barely edible even to me.  Maybe I should have thrown some pasta in there too... that it.  Throwing something else in there would probably have fixed everything.  Thank god for D coming to the rescue and cooking some food for the week.
This must be a new personal low for me and I'm thinking that after this there is only one direction that food in this house can go.  Here's looking at a good food summer.


Chickpea and Parsley Kitchen Sink Salad... with Feta 

I went to my first professional basketball game this week and I was totally... BORED.  It may have had something to do with the fact that I had been working my ass off for the entire day because we were the choir singing the national anthems at the games.  It might have had something to do with me not sleeping well for a couple of nights prior to the game.  It might also just be that I'm not into that kind of thing.  The only game I seem to find any pleasure at all in watching is soccer (known as football by the rest of the world) and even that is pushing it.
It got me thinking about how bored I got watching baseball and even (dare I say it) hockey.  The weird thing is that I do like sports.  I even think of myself as somewhat athletic.  So much so that I wonder if the current 'Me' went back to high school now 'Me' might consider trying out for volleyball or track or something.  That's saying something.  What I find when I'm watching a game from the stands of these huge arena's is that I am so far removed from the game itself, it's so far away, that I don't invest.  I'm not connected to it at all.  There are so many people watching and we're all so far away and it starts and stops so much and so many of us are moving around and talking and leaving to pee and going to buy junk food that I can't focus.  There is the constant drone of the announcer and the lights flashing on the jumbotron.  It's too much for me.
And then I don't know the game well and I certainly don't know the players.  I'm out there at Centre Court for sound check with the players all warming up around us and watching our high school boys freaking out and thinking that this would probably be pretty meaningful if I had a clue who these guys were.  It seemed funny to me.  The highlight of the night was seeing that a well known Canadian actress was sitting court side (they gave her some flowers and a stuffed mascot toy - we could only see it on the jumbotron).  Realising that this was the highlight for me pretty much sealed it.  Yup - I'm not meant for this kind of stuff.


So if you were thinking about buying some season's tickets for a hockey/soccer/basketball/baseball team in the city you might want to reconsider.  I'd be pretty happy that you thought of me and might feel a sense of obligation to attend some of those games just because you spent the money on me but I wouldn't enjoy it much.  I really enjoyed the moment when D and I realised we just wanted to leave early and go home for a beer... which is exactly what we did.



This, of course, has nothing to do with the recipe that you will find below.  That's because there is no cool story for this recipe.  This recipe isn't really glamorous or cool.  It's just good and kinda healthy because it's using cooked cauliflower in place of the flour.  I don't know, maybe that is kinda cool.


Cauliflower Alfredo Sauce adapted from 'cupcakes and kale'
makes about 4 cups of sauce

3 1/2 cups cauliflower pieces
1 cup onion, sliced
4 med cloves garlic
1 can (about 1 cup) white beans, drained and rinsed
1 cup cream
3/4 cups milk
2 tsp salt
2 boullion cubes
1/2 tsp paprika
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp honey
1/2 - 3/4 cup parmesan cheese, grated

4 cups cooked pasta of choice (I used cooked penne)
4 cups veggies - I used greens (kale and chard mixture) - steamed until wilted or softened
3 slices of bacon (optional), diced
1 1/2 cups mushrooms, halved
1/3 cup walnuts, coarsely chopped

Bring a large, heavy bottomed pot to a boil with about 3/4 cup of water (approx).  Add in the cauliflower pieces, turn the heat down to med/low and cover.  Cook for about 15 - 20 minutes or until the cauliflower is softened and mashable.  Drain and set aside.
In a large dutch oven or heavy bottomed pot heat about 3 tbsp of oil over medium heat.  Add in the onion and cook for about 4 minutes.  Add in the garlic and cook for about 3 minutes together.  Add in the white beans.  Turn the heat down to low.
Add the cauliflower, milk and stir well.  Using a hand blender or pouring the whole thing into a regular blender, puree until the whole thing forms a sauce consistency.  Making it as smooth and consistent as possible.
Add in the cream, salt, boullion, paprika, nutmeg, honey and parmesan.  Mix until the parmesan has melted in.  Check the tastes and adjust if necessary.

To make the casserole:
Heat a large frying pan over medium heat and add the bacon.  Cook about two minutes or until just beginning to get brown.  Add in the mushrooms (and the greens if you don't want to steam them) and cook for about 4 minutes.
Combine the cooked pasta with the bacon and veggie mixture.  Toss to combine and pour into a large baking dish or serving bowl.
Pour the sauce over the pasta mixture and stir well.
Sprinkle with a little additional parmesan and the chopped walnuts.
serve.

I have amended my Christmas wish list.  'Time' is now officially the first item on the list. I know that it makes no real sense to have 'Time' as part of my wish list because once Christmas is here I'll have lots of time.  Let's look at it as 'At least I know that I'm going to get what I want for Christmas' - oozing positivity.
I have so many recipes ready to go.
I have cookies to bake.
I have lemon curd to whip up.
I have chex mex to make.  This is important for the Christmas Eve movie that we will go to and sneak in our own snacks.
Although most things of worth have gone by the wayside lately, here are some of the things that I've managed to keep up with:
1.  Bathing and teeth brushing
2.  Birthday cake making
3.  Clothes washing... almost
4.  Breakfast
5.  Biking to work
6.  Letters to Santa (Kid #2 wrote a letter that went like this: Dear Santa - I want....... signed Kid #2.  Kid #1 got really upset and told him that if he didn't write some nice things to Santa first that he wouldn't get anything on his list.  You can't just send Santa a list!  He was confused and more than a little frustrated but wrote the letter anyway)
7.  An early gift to myself.  This took a little more of that precious time than I had anticipated but it was so worth it and I'm thrilled and a little itchy.


So I'm keeping up in a manner of speaking.  However, when it comes to food I'm falling way way way behind.  It's pathetic.  And then there is the whole 'dark-in-the-middle-of-the-day' thing that is just totally wrecking photos for me.  It's bumming me out.  Curry helps.  Curry feels warm and sunny.  It reminds me that there are many places in the world that aren't dark, damp and cold.  If you find the curry powder amount sounds a little rash then by all means start with half the amount and ramp it up from there.  We prefer our curry kickin'.


I truly hope that you are finding some time for reflection and quiet.  I hope that you are making all the cookies and curds that your little heart desires.  I hope that your Chex Mex making schedule is right on target... and if it's not just know that you are not alone.


Cabbage and Squash Curry adapted from Simply in Season
serves 8

1 small onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
3- 4 cups butternut squash (or other winter squash), peeled, de-seeded and cut into 2 inch cubes
3 - 4 cups cabbage
2 lg potatoes, cut into 2 inch cubes
1 cup frozen peas or green beans

Curry seasoning:
2 bouillion cubes
1 full cup mild curry seasoning (I used west indian curry)
4 tbsp garam masala
2 tsp ginger
2 tsp cumin
2 tsp salt
pinch of pepper
1 tsp pepper sauce

2 tbsp soy sauce
1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
2 - 3 tbsp tomato sauce or paste
1 can (400 ml) chick peas
1 can (400 ml) coconut milk
2 tbsp honey

Preheat oven to 350° F.  Coat the squash cubes in oil and spread onto a baking sheet.  Roast for about 35 minutes or until turning golden brown on the outside and soft on the inside.  Remove from oven and set aside.
Heat a heavy bottomed soup pot or dutch oven over medium heat.
Add about 4 tbsp of oil or butter and then add in the onion and cubes potatoes.  Cook together for about 10 minutes (turning the heat down if necessary).  The potato should be browning on the outsides.  Add in the garlic and cabbage.  Turn the heat down to medium/low.  Make sure that the cabbage is coated in oil and continue to cook for about 10 minutes.  Stir when necessary to keep the vegetables from sticking.
In another bowl combine the boullion cubes (crushed up with your fingers), curry seasoning, garam masala, ginger, cumin and salt.  Add just enough water to form a paste.  Add in the soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce and tomato sauce.  Stir well.
Add the paste to the cooking vegetables.  Stir well.  Add the chickpeas, coconut milk and honey.  Stir well.  Add in the roasted squash and the frozen beans.  Mix well.  Check the tastes and adjust if necessary.
Cover and simmer about 15 minutes on low heat.
Serve with rice.

I meant to give you an update a couple of days ago.  Then things got crazy and by the end of the day I was so bagged that I couldn't think.
I wanted to give you a fantastic recipe for some of the fantastic food that I made this week... except I didn't make any.
I had thought that I could give you an entire post on planting garlic cloves in the fall and how they would turn into awesome garlic scapes and whole cloves of garlic next spring... but I didn't actually plant any.
The real kicker here is that I can't really figure out what I did.  I know what I didn't do but what the hell did I do?  Here's the rundown.  I met this wonderful lady this week.  She is fantastic and being able to work so closely with a Canadian Icon is an honour.  (I'm using present tense because I get to see her again this week)  She is coaching two of our boys who are soloing with the TSP next weekend.  I'm in the thick of that.  The concerts are piling up thick and fast over here.  Advent season is in full swing.
Truth is, as much as my heart was in the right place,  I wouldn't have known what to cook because my head was drowning in a sea of work.  I did manage to keep biking to work all week.  It's the time of year when each week that goes by and I'm still biking feels like a gift.  First of December and still going strong.
One of my friends and colleagues and I are going on a little adventure late next week.  We've decided to finally do something we've always wanted to do.  We've researched, we've sought out a venue and we've booked our time.  It's going to hurt a little but we'll be able to hold each others hand and eat chocolate together to dull the sting.  So that was a big part of my week too.
I've been fuelling my runs with this music... and some of this too.  It's amazing how some good music gets you through a hard-to-get-motivated run.  These guys came and did a workshop at our school a week or so ago and they totally got me into piano trios.  Especially this one.  BTW - they are the most generous people - the cellist stayed back after the school show and coached some of our gr 12 boys who have formed a string trio.  Genuine.


It's amazing how quickly one's brain can get sidelined.  I've been so focussed on how busy things are that I've talked myself out of making food.  It's too time consuming.  I don't have the ingredients.  I have no inspiration.  Screw it.  This took me about 15 minutes tonight.  It's tasty.  It's good for me and it's a hell of a lot cheaper than going out.  This isn't so much a recipe for you as an inspiration.  Add and subtract at will.


Sweet Potato and Black Bean Quesadilla's
serves 4(ish)

2 med sweet potato's, partially peeled and cubed into 1 inch cubes
1/2 cup onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 can (400ml) 1 1/2 cups black beans, rinsed and set aside
1 tbsp chili powder
1/2 tsp cumin
pinch of salt and pepper
shredded cheese (Monterey Jack, Cheddar, whatever you've got)
sour cream
salsa
greens (again, whatever you've got: spinach, lettuce, chard, etc) broken into small pieces
soft tortilla shells

Boil the sweet potato cubes in a small amount of water for about 5 minutes or just until soft but not mushy.  Drain and set aside.
Heat a large pot or skillet over medium heat.  Add a little oil or lard if you have.  Add the onion and cook until soft, stirring frequently.  Once the onion is softened add in the garlic.  Cook for about a minute and then add in the drained beans.  Stir constantly.  Add in the sweet potatoes and the spices.  Stir until everything is mixed well and things are pretty dry.
Remove from the heat.
Heat a heavy bottomed skillet (caste iron works really well here) over medium heat.  Add a little lard or oil but just a little.
Place 1 tortilla shell on the heated skillet.  Add about a half a cup of the bean/sweet potato mixture and spread it out evenly.  Add a good sprinkling of cheese and place another tortilla shell on the top.  Turn over once the bottomed looks slightly browned.  Heat until the cheese has melted.
Remove from heat.  Cut into quarters and add some sour cream and a generous tbsp of salsa on top of each piece.