Sometimes you get a message or a card or an email or whatever and it just kinda sets you off.  It's tipped you into something surprising or taking you somewhere that you weren't expecting.  Two such things happened to me this weekend.
The first thing was started by me texting my BFF on her birthday.  It's a big birthday.  It's not fifty but it's not thirty.  It's a big one and this culture has made these 'big' birthdays even bigger.  We've got expectations.  Needless to say my BFF took 3 month old and G with her to Halifax for what was supposed to be a wonderful, relaxing, birthday getaway and from the sounds of it has resulted in an inconsolable, screaming baby fest and a distracted G and a miserable BFF.  I've been texting her all weekend to make sure that she is ok.  I've been completely distracted with concern.  I suspect that the 3 month old is teething (Hello!  What! - Way too early but there are already one of two peaking through) and is therefor in complete misery.  It's just a suspicion.  Sometimes travelling with very small ones just sucks.  There it is.
The second thing was getting a message from my sister who lives very far away in Calgary.  She couldn't sleep last night and was watching a movie.  She kept thinking about how much fun we would have laughing at the goofy movie (I think it was Moonstruck - Yup!) together.  And then she missed me and decided to write me and tell me about it.
And there it is two people that I care about who are at other ends of the country and we're missing each other a lot and can't get together.  KT and I will be able to get together, hopefully over a couple of martini's and some yummy food, as soon as she gets back and settled.  It will help her being back in her own space.
My sister is another matter entirely.  We don't see each other for years at a time.  It bites.  Having family that far away just bites.  My brother is in Calgary too (damn oil companies) and so I have neices and nephews growing up and I'm not a part of their lives.  It bites.  My kids have cousins that they essentially don't know.  They have Aunties and Uncles who don't know them.  It bites.
I spent a lot of time this weekend wishing that I could be with people who need me and who I'm missing... and maybe feeling a little sorry for myself too - I'll admit it.  I'm not going to begin to venture into the whole debate around firearms here because I'm thinking that if you've read anything at all on this blog you could pretty much guess where I would land on that one.  However, I will say that there are a lot of friends and families in Aurora who said goodbye to friends or family and will now be missing them endlessly.  They are now very far away.  And so I sit back and appreciate the fact that I can still call, skype or email.  I feel thankful that our time apart is not permanent but we are still here together on this planet loving each other.  My heart breaks for those who tragically will not be able to bridge the distance between them and their loved one anymore.


In the midst of all of this my heart needed some comfort food.  This is as close as it's going to get around here anymore.  No store bought mayo.  No store bought soup.  Straight forward ingredients and  canned tuna from a reputable source (ie.  please check out whether the brand you buy is conscious here).  It's more time consuming sure but the taste....



Tuna Casserole put together after years of fiddling by me.
serves 6 - 8

1/2 cup onion, diced
2 cups mushroom, coarsely chopped
2 1/2 cups broccoli, broken into coarse florets
4 cups greens, coarsely chopped
1/2 cups Herbs, finely chopped (I use a mix from my garden - parsley, chive, oregano, mint, dill)
2 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper sauce (optional)
1/2 - 3/4 cup Mayo (see here for recipe)
1 lg batch cream of mushroom soup replacer (got my recipe here - you can make this a day ahead)
1/2 - 3/4 cream/milk
2 cans tuna or salmon (keep the liquid)
1 1/2 cups cheddar cheese, shredded or grated
6 cups cooked pasta (I usually use penne or something like it)

Heat oven to 350 degrees F.
Butter a large baking dish - I use one that is at least 9x13 but even a little bigger will do well.

Heat a large, heavy bottomed pan over medium heat.  Add in about 3 tbsp of oil and sauté the onion for a couple of minutes then add in the broccoli.  Cook together for about 7 minutes turning the heat down a little if necessary.  Stir regularly so that the food doesn't stick or burn.  Add in the mushroom and the greens.  Feel free to add a little more oil if it gets too dry.  Cook together for another 5 minutes.
Add in the herbs, salt and pepper sauce.  Stir well.
Add in the Mayo, mushroom soup replacer and milk.  Stir well.
Add in the tuna or salmon with the liquid.  Stir well and turn the heat down if necessary - if it's bubbling too much.
Add in 1 cup of the cheddar and the cooked pasta.  Stir everything well.
Add a little more milk if it's not quite liquid enough.
Pour everything into the baking dish.  Cover with the rest of the cheddar.  Feel free to add any other desirables to the top as well.
Bake for about 30 - 35 minutes or until the top is turning golden brown and the sides are bubbling.
Remove from the oven and cool for about 15 minutes before serving.

I'm cleaning out my freezer.  Don't worry, it's not a monumental task or anything.  I'm not a freezer-stuffed-full-of-crap kinda person.  I'm just making some room.  Getting rid of stuff that been forgotten about or simply will not ever be used.  It's a great feeling.  The freezer space will get filled, I know that.
What I found in there though was weird and fun.  I found a chicken carcass that I didn't know I had.  Yes.  I found some cream cheese.  Yes.  I found some rhubarb from last year.  Yes.  I found some banana leaves.  Weird and Yes.  I found some salt fish.  Salt Fish.


I like salt fish.  When it's done well, I LOVE salt fish.  I first had salt fish in Trinidad.  Friends and family convinced me that I had to try this salt fish dish called 'Buljol' for breakfast.  Yeah, so you know how here in Canada weekend breakfasts are often homemade pancakes or waffles smothered in Maple Syrup?  Well, in Trinidad weekend breakfasts are salt fish and bake (a bun).  Arguably, this is a healthier way to approach breakfast (even though we now have huge green checkmarks on Cocoa Puffs and Fruit Loops - I know it's hard to think of anything healthier).  Still, this born and bred Ontario girl wasn't sure about this fish for breakfast thing at all.  I didn't want to offend though.  So I took a bun and put the tiniest amount of salt fish imaginable. Hesitantly, I put the tiny bit in my mouth.   Oh my... it was AWESOME.  Which figures, 'cause I'm damned if I can tell you any food that Trini's make which bites.   It was seriously like the green eggs and ham thing.  'I like them. I like them Sam I am.' (or whatever)
As with many things Trini I have trouble duplicating it.  I've tried tons of ways.  I can't seem to get the right balance.  Something is always a bit off.  I think though that I've finally found the magic formula with this one.  Don't cook anything, just heat the oil until it quite hot.  That's it.  Done.
I'm seriously pumped because I saw some chives ready to be used in the garden.



So my first garden harvest of the year is in the salt fish.  The chives kinda helped me feel better about the fish.   This fish is Canadian but it's probably not 'sustainably' caught and for that very reason I don't make salt fish often at all.  In fact, I've stopped buying fish as a rule.  At least the chives were local and sustainable... right.
Serve this awesome stuff on crackers, bread, buns... whatever.



Buljol (salt fish) adapted from 'The Naparima Girls Jubilee Cookbook'
serves 4

1/2 lb or so (1 pkg) dried Salt Fish
small onion sliced thin
1/2 cup green pepper diced
1/2 cup tomato diced
1/4 cup celery diced (optional)
4 tbsp green onion or chive diced
1/3 cup oil
3/4 tsp black pepper (optional)
3 tbsp green seasoning (optional)
squeeze of a lemon slice (optional)
pepper sauce to taste (optional)

Bring a pot of water to a boil.  Soak the salt fish in the hot water for about 15 minutes.  Drain and repeat 3 times in total.  Set the salt fish aside.
In a bowl combine the onion, green pepper, tomato, celery and green onion or chive.  Mix and add in the black pepper, green seasoning and lemon juice.  Break the salt fish apart into little pieces and add to the veggies.
Heat the oil in a pot just until it barely starts to smoke.  Pour the hot oil over the fish and vegetables.
Mix well and serve.

As Lent approaches I begin to think about traditions almost as much as I do at Christmas although for very different reasons. Lent is still a sort of celebration even in it's austerity. I kind of like the thought (contemplative and sombre) of it more than the craziness that has become the tradition of Christmas (Just watched this movie over the weekend and thought it was fantastic!!! This guy is awesomely crazy!)