I hate apologies but I feel that I must apologize for what must feel to you like yet another mindless-fluff-post from me.  I'm getting to serious things I promise.  I'm reacquainting myself with how I feel about the world.  I'm reading again and that's always a good sign.  I've been getting more than 4 hrs sleep a night since I've been back and that's a good thing too.  Despite that though, between all the crazy shit going on in the world and my own semi-permanent 'fuzz', the week has felt scattered and off at best.  Nothing has stayed in my brain long enough to congeal into something even close to custard or jello let alone concrete.  So again, you are going to get some fluffy, random, scattered, possibly weird, hopefully mildly amusing thoughts.
This is the first thing that I downloaded upon arriving back in Canada... and I mean I downloaded it in the airport.  Serious.  (I had a conversation with someone while away about music.  Yet another person who only listens to music to drown out white noise in the car on the way to work.  What?  I can't even begin to understand - I will try)
This is the second and by far the best for me.  It's blowing me away right now... all of it.
These songs got me through some very strange bus rides through Italy and some beautiful views.
Some of my Hero's (They would must certainly cringe at my vocabulary) are going to be speaking at this conference that I'm going to.  I'm beyond excited.  It's like they're rock stars to me.  And I'm weird.
Oh really?  For #$%@ sake.


I can't find word to express how much doing this on my lunch hour helped me get through the rest of the day and, in fact, the whole week.
In case you were wondering, not only did D and Kid #1 and #2 manage just fine without me around, D and I have subsequently had a conversation about me backing off more at home and giving him some more space with the kids and in the kitchen.  Shizam.  I took the opportunity to go out for a drink after work the very next day.
I seriously need to update my favourite blogs because honestly there is nothing that this blogger writes that I couldn't get behind 100% right now and this blogger makes me laugh out loud often.
I saw this 'salad' and nearly fell off my chair.  I have to make it... but not as salad.
I've always suspected this about cupcakes.  Haven't you?  There is something so rightly wrong about them.  They're aw'some'ful... I kinda want one right now.  But not really because....
Oddly, since I left Canada up to now - even now - I've been watching my sugar and chocolate appetite decline significantly.  I don't know why but I'm rolling with it.  If I don't feel like eating sugar or chocolate then I don't eat it.  This may be temporary or not.  Who cares.  What I do feel like eating are eggs.  I ate eggs almost exclusively when I got back.  Two meals a day.  Eggs with toast.  Eggs have to be sunny side up and the yolks have to be runny.  The eggs must be sprinkled with a little salt.  Today I ate eggs (sunny side up of course) over spinach with a little cheese and some tomatillo salsa that I made last summer.  I'm swapping out chocolate for eggs.


In my attempts to stretch a dollar and sneak lentils into a meal without D noticing - which incidentally did not work because as soon as he tasted it D said 'This tastes beany' (jeez) - I created this twist on my usual Cottage Pie or Shepherd's Pie or whatever the hell you want to call it because there is some kind of rule out there about what you are supposed to call it when it's pork or beef or lamb or lentils or tofu.  I don't care... I thought it tasted good - maybe only slightly beany.


Lentil and Pork Cottage Pie
serves 4 - 6

1 cup Puy Lentils (the tiny dark ones)
4 cups water
3 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
2 tbsp soy sauce
2 tbsp mixed herbs
1 tbsp honey
1 veggie boullion cube
1 lg clove garlic, coarsely chopped
2 tbsp ketchup
1 lb ground pork
1 med/small onion, diced
2 carrots, thinly sliced
1 cup corn
1 cup peas (you could use frozen green beans or something if peas aren't your thing)

For the Mash Topping:
5 -6 sm potatoes (3 - 4 if using med/lg) cubed
2 cups celeriac, cubed
1/4 cup milk
1/4 cup butter
1/2 cheddar or fontina cheese, shredded
1 tsp salt

Day before:
Combine the lentils, water, Worcestershire sauce, soy sauce, honey, veggie bouillon, garlic and ketchup together in a heavy bottomed sauce pan.  Bring to a boil and then simmer for about 1 hr.  Cool and leave in fridge overnight to marinate.
Next day:  Warm them up again and then throw them into a blender or use an immersion blender to puree them to the texture of goop - oatmeal kinda goop... not sure what other word I would use here.
Simultaneously:
1.  Preheat the oven to 350°F
2.  Throw the potatoes and celeriac into a large pot of water and bring to a boil for about 10 - 12 minutes (or until softened)... then drain.  Mash well and add in the butter, milk, cheese (reserve a little cheese to sprinkle on top of the casserole at the end) and salt.  Check the tastes, adjust and set aside.
3.  Heat a heavy bottomed dutch oven or caste iron (oven proof) casserole dish over med. heat.  Once heated add about 3 tbsp of oil or lard and throw in the onion, garlic and carrot.  Cook together for about 5 minutes and then add in the ground pork.  Cook together for another 5 minutes and then turn the heat down to med/low.  Add in the ketchup and the pureed lentil mixture.  Check the tastes and adjust if necessary (maybe a little salt or add a little water if it's too thick for example).  On top of the meat/lentil mixture place the corn and peas.  On top of the corn and peas spoon the potato/celeriac mixture so that it totally covers everything underneath.  Sprinkle with a little cheese on the top.
Bake for about 30 - 35 minutes or until you see that the meat mixture is bubbling up the sides a little and the top is turning golden.
Cool for about 15 minutes before serving.

It's been a big week in our house, in our family and in the community at large.
We have lost someone and the loss has left a vacuum.
I knew, 10 years ago when D's Mom re-married, that this new guy was something special.  When we first met he was warm, inviting, open and deeply connected to himself and his roots.  I had no idea just who this man was.  Charlie came to Canada at 14 from Trinidad and Tobago.  He didn't get into law right away but decided instead to study for the priesthood.  There are 2 reasons that he didn't stay with the church.  I can't remember them both at the moment but 'science' was the first reason.  He instead went into law.  I don't know if he was born for law or not.  I'm sure that he was a brilliant lawyer.  But the thing that made him stand out was his incredible passion for people and for representing those who couldn't represent themselves... for whatever reason.  That injustice was intolerable for him and as a result he began making his mark in the city of Toronto as a civil rights activist in the seventies when a series of shootings by police of black men were creating an uproar.  Charlie was at the helm of that both legally and socially.
You might have heard of Caribana.  It's this festival held in August here in Toronto which was born out of the Trinidad 'Carnival' tradition but has come to celebrate black and west-indian culture in all of it's forms.  Charlie was one of the founders of Caribana.  For a long time I didn't know.  He remained active in Caribana even up to this past August when he had to be driven through the parade route (he was so happy for that though).
Charlie died as a permanent resident of Canada and not a citizen.  He declined citizenship because he refused to take an oath to the Queen.  Right up to the end.  He fought it hard too.  There are many still working on that case and they will carry it on for him, of that I'm confident.  I heard a lawyer being interviewed yesterday and that lawyer got into law because of Charlie's mentorship.  It was during the interview when the lawyer said that Charlie's contribution to civil rights puts him at the table with the likes of Martin Luther King Jr. that it hit me just what this man was who came to our summer BBQ's.


Many many people love him.  Everyone feels that they know him and that's what he would have wanted.  For us... well he was just 'Babu'.  He played with my kids.  He encouraged them to be the best that they are and I think he saw things in them that no one else might have seen.  They debated with him and they drew protest pictures of the G8 summit and they went to the ROM.  At the end of the day, I'm thankful that we knew him not just as the public figure but as Babu... as Charlie.  He'll be missed by us all for the public contributions that he made but for us, we'll be missing 'Babu'.


As we've been juggling life and loss this week I've been craving some good food that makes me feel warm, loved and nourished.  This has helped a lot.


Broccoli and Lemon Pasta adapted from 'Bon Appetit'
Serves 4 - 6

5 slices of bacon cut into coarse pieces
1 cup leek, thinly sliced
1 cup green beans (ends cut off and then cut into bite sized lengths) or green peas
2 1/2 - 3 cups of broccoli, cut into bite sized chunks
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 cup milk
1/4 cup fresh herbs (a mixture of parsley,basil, oregano)
11/2 tbsp honey
11/2 tsp salt
11/2 tsp pepper sauce or a dash of cayenne
1 tbsp lemon zest.       
1 tbsp fresh lemon juice
1/2 cup goat cheese
1 cup freshly grated parmesan
4 cups spaghetti cooked to al dente (reserve a little of the pasta water)

Heat a large pot and add in the bacon chunks.  Brown for a few minutes and then turn the heat down to med/low.  Add in the sliced leeks and cook together for about 3 minutes.  Add in the beans, broccoli and garlic.  Cook for another 5-7 minutes.  Add in the herbs, honey, salt, pepper sauce, lemon zest and lemon juice. Mix well and cook together for about 2 minutes.  Add in the goat cheese and stir to melt in slightly.  Add in the cream and milk.  Mix well and turn the heat down to low.  Add in the parmesan cheese and continue to cook until the cheese begins to melt into the cream.  Toss with the pasta and a little of the reserved pasta water.  Serve with a little more fresh parmesan on top.

With everything going on in the rest of my life at the moment, my poor poor garden has been sorely neglected.  I've been taking little snippets of time here and there to thin out my perennials and expand the garden edges.  It's not anywhere near finished and every time I look outside my heart sinks just a little.
Despite the hours of work sitting out there and waiting for me I have to try to look on the bright side.  I have managed to get some things in the garden.  My herbs are all doing well.  To boost my weary and somewhat sad soul I have decided to post a bunch of things that are good and somewhere deep down are making me happy.  At least that's what I'm telling myself.  So, without further ado, here is my list:

'Bright Things'
#1
 - I planted 3 zucchini plants.  I managed to find naturally seeded plants and grabbed 3 of them.  For the last 3 years I haven't been able to grow zucchini - mostly because the squirrels get to the little plants before they can really set.  Once was just because the seeds didn't sprout.  This year I have plants that are growing well and blooming like crazy.


#2
- My first little 'Black Prince' tomato is getting bigger and bigger every day.  There are many more hot on his heals so I'm looking forward to some lovely fresh tomatoes within the next month or so.

#3
 - I'm growing peas for the first time in addition to me green and purple beans.  Peas.  They don't look unhappy.  This is good.


#4
 - My pride and joy at the moment is this chard.  I have two red chard plants thanks to me friend C.  They are BEAUTIFUL.  I can't wait to start eating fresh chard.  Seriously seriously jazzed about my chard.

#5
 - Second to my chard are the potatoes.  Yes, I'm growing potatoes.  For the first time.  If all goes well then I may never buy potatoes again.  I hear that you can grow them throughout the winter.  This could be it.

I have to keep focussed on the future right now because living in the moment is completely overwhelming.  The future will give me a lot more time to sit and reflect and feel the growth happening all around me.  I find it soul soothing.  Try growing something this summer.  Even if you only have a window sill - throw some herbs into a tiny little pot and see what happens.  A balcony or a tiny little bit of yard space can yield you a surprising amount of fresh food and a wonderful feeling of accomplishment.


On a side note:  If you have zucchini blossoms please don't let them rot on the vine.  I snipped mine off and used them in a quiche with some garlic scapes (garlic is another thing that I apparently need to try growing) and they were delicious.  I'll keep you updated on some more zucchini blossom possibilities.

Oh Damn.  Three times.  That is the number of consecutive bread posts that I have put on this blog.  There must be some sort of rule about that kind of thing.  When I realised how crazy it had gotten I decided then and there to put something here that wasn't either sweets or bread.  Jeez, we do actually eat real food.


In fact, I've somehow gone and gotten these... both a bag of turnips and a bag of rutabaga's.  I don't know what I was thinking really.  It's that damn masochistic streak rearing it's ugly head again.  I also got some stinging nettles that found their way into a baked pasta dish and something else that I can't remember right now.  But this.  Well this found it's way into my kitchen via a couple of sources.  I've made Shepherd's Pie a bajillion times or so.  I've always seasoned it up like crazy but the addition of celeriac to the mash and the cider vinegar/dijon/molasses mix really intrigued me.  I liked the results.


As a side note, I've decided to scale back my tv watching to almost nothing again.  I go through these phases where things really jazz me and then these other phases where I feel dumber just being in the same room with tv.  I'm in the later phase at the moment.  Don't get your gitch all in a knot or anything, I'm still watching tv and I'm not going to pass judgement on you for watching it all day if you want to.  I do get that sometimes you just want to sit and completely veg.   I've just scaled my viewing back to maybe 3 hours per week or so.  I'm still surfing quite a bit and am buzzed that this guy is back in action - check out his comeback debut and just tell me that it's not totally inspiring to have this guy back - I'm just choosing my shows very carefully.  I do honestly wonder why we watch anything.  There is so much absolute drivel.  Like pure drivel.  I waste so much time sitting and doing nothing that I just began to get disgusted with the lack of intelligence in the programming and with myself for spending my time with it on in my house.  I swear it makes me stupider.  I've got no tangible evidence for that claim however.  I'll let you know if I start remembering things better and using better grammar.  In the short term though I can tell you that I get a whole lot more accomplished in an afternoon and evening.  The house is a lot more peaceful too and that's worth it's weight in gold as far as I'm concerned.


Back to the Pie.  Ground Pork and I have become pretty good friends lately.  In fact, pork has generally just been changing my life... in all it's wonderful forms.  You could use beef here but if you do I might throw in a little bit of bacon or something just to add some complexity to the flavour.  Honestly, this is a dish that the kids never get tired of and I've served Shepherd's Pie to more than a few dinner guests.  It's just one of those things.  Now I've gotten the celeriac figured out, I've gotta sit down and contend with the turnip and rutabaga situation.


Root Vegetable BBQ Shepherd's Pie adapted from Good Food UK and Better Homes and Gardens

3 - 4 med/lg (about 3 cups) potatoes, thickly cubed
3 sm/med (about 3 cups) celeriac, thickly cubed
4 tbsp butter
1/4 - 1/3 cup milk
1/2 cup (generous) cheddar, shredded
1 tsp salt

1 1/2 lbs ground pork
1 med/sm onion, diced
2 lg carrots, thickly diced
2 lg parsnips, thickly diced
2 cups mushrooms, thickly sliced
1/2 cup ketchup
1 bouillion cube
3 tbsp Worcestershire
2 tbsp cider vinegar
1 tbsp dijon
3 tbsp molasses
1 1/2 tsp salt
3/4 tsp pepper sauce (optional)
2 cups green beans or green peas (I used frozen stuff from last years garden)

Fill a large pot with water and bring to a boil.  Add the potatoes and celeriac.  Boil together for about 15 minutes or until the celeriac is fully softened.  Drain the water off the veggies.  Add the butter and the milk.  Mash the potatoes - I used a potato masher but if you would like to used a food mill or a potato ricer that's quite fine.  Once they are mashed sufficiently to your taste then add in the cheddar and the salt.  Mix together and set aside - the cheese will melt in nicely.
In the meantime.  Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.
Have a large casserole dish ready.
Heat a lot pot or dutch oven over medium heat.  Add in about 2 - 3 tbsp of oil or lard.  Turn the heat down just slightly and add in the onion, carrots and parsnip.  Cook together for about 4 minutes.  Add in the ground pork and cook together another 3 - 4 minutes or until the ground pork is just browned.  Add the mushrooms and continue to cook until the parsnip and carrots are reasonably softened.
Add the ketchup, bouillion cube, Worcestershire, cider vinegar, dijon and molasses.  Stir and cook together for another 5 minutes turning down the heat a little more if needed.   Add in the salt and the pepper sauce.  Check the taste and adjust if needed.
Pour the pork mixture into the baking dish.
Cover with the green beans or green peas (or a mixture).
Cover the entire thing by scooping the mashed potatoes over the top.  Spread the potato out evenly.  Sprinkle a little more cheddar over the top and bake for 35 - 40 minutes or until the top is golden the sides are bubbling.
Let it set for about 12 minutes before serving.

This is probably the first day of the winter break (ie.  my time off) that I have not gone out of the house.  We all slept in this morning.  It seems that a series of late nights and lots of family visits, presents, food, skating, events, etc. has left us all exhausted.  Even kid #2, at 4 years of age, slept in until 9 a.m. this morning.  That's sayin' something.
So far this holiday, and I'm quite proud of myself for this, I have been keeping up with running and yoga faithfully.  This morning was no exception.  It was yoga day so instead of doing a morning session it ended up being a 'brunch' session.  No problem.  Not like I had anything else to do today.  Beautiful.
We completely unplugged.  It's awesome.  I highly recommend.
Down side:
We still have to eat.  After making all kinds of crazy cookies, scalloped potatoes, roasted veggies for the various christmas dinners AND having people over to eat... well, we're cleaned out.  Nothing.  Nada.
Once again, I'm proud of myself here.  We did not order in.  I made this...


Let's just say that leftover turkey from my Mom's turkey dinner and some frozen cooked chicken that I gleaned off of chicken that had been used for chicken broth came in really handy.  Some veggies, a little pastry and *shizaam*  it appeared.  Well, almost.
Look, if you decide that your leftover turkey needs to be stewed and tucked under some pastry I wouldn't blame you one bit if you opted to purchase some ready made puff pastry and use that.  Let's just  be honest here:
a.  I was wearing yoga gear and hadn't showered.
b.  I was too damn lazy to go buy some even had I been perfectly clean.
Also, I used some broth that I made a couple of weeks ago (I save my chicken carcasses and use them for broth - please be impressed.  Thank You) but by no means is it necessary.  Store bought broth or chicken bouillion cubes dissolved in water would do just fine.  Make sure that you do some good tasting along the way just in case the flavours aren't quite strong enough though.


So, if you are looking for something kinda homey and comfort foodish.  If you are a little sick of turkey sandwiches.  If you aren't looking at each other before a meal saying: 'If I eat turkey one more time, I'm gonna...'  Well then, maybe you could give this a whirl.  Otherwise... pick up the phone... you know the number.


Turkey and Chicken Pot Pie
serves 4 - 6

4 cups turkey/chicken, cooked and cut into smallish pieces
4 cups bouillion or stock
1/4 cup milk or cream
1/4 cup flour
1 med onion, diced
2 med potato, diced
2 med carrot, diced
2 med parsnips, diced
2 cups green beans (or frozen peas if it works better for you), cut into 2 inch pieces
2 cloves of garlic, crushed
2 tbsp Worcestershire Sauce
2 tbsp Soy Sauce
1 tbsp sugar
1 tbsp thyme
dash pepper sauce
dash nutmeg
salt to taste

crust:

1 cup unbleached, all purpose flour
1/4 cup cold butter, diced into cubes
dash salt
4 tbsp cold water

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.

Heat a large pot and with some oil, saute the onion, potato, carrot, parsnip and green beans. Saute over medium heat until the veggies (especially the carrot and parsnip) are softened a bit.  Lower the heat and add in the garlic and swish around for a few minutes.  Add in the turkey or chicken and swish that around for a few minutes.  Things should look pretty colourful at this point.


Throw in the Worcestershire, Soy Sauce, sugar, thyme, pepper sauce, nutmeg and salt.  Let that mix with everything for a minute and then add in the bouillion.  Stir well and let it come to a low simmer.
In a small bowl, mix together the milk and flour until it forms a thick paste.  If you need extra flour, don't hesitate to throw a little extra in there.  Once the paste is smooth and the pot is gently simmering, add in the paste to the pot and mix well.  Allow the whole thing to simmer gently for about 5 minutes or until it all thickens slightly.  Set aside.
Crust:
In a large bowl place the flour, salt and the cubed butter.  Using a pastry cutter or a fork (that's all it got!) combine the two together until it's a coarse crumb.   Add the cold water a tbsp at a time mixing well until the dough can form a ball.
Roll out onto a lightly floured surface.  (You only have to roll it out enough to cover the baking dish that you are going to use.  I used a round dish so if you are using a larger baking dish you might want to double the recipe.)

Place the turkey mixture into a baking dish (I used a 9 inch round) and cover with the rolled out pastry - tucking the edges up the sides of the dish.
Bake for about 25 minutes or until the crust looks golden and crunchy.  Like the top of a pie... right???
Remove from oven and let it rest for about 15 minutes before serving.

I do.