Now that christmas is behind us and the pressure is off I feel like I can think just a little more clearly.  It's all an illusion of course but christmas seems to carry with it some brain cluttering expectations whether or not you embrace them (I'll leave you to guess which category I fall into).  After what felt like a record number of performances this December we really tried to keep expectations low.  Like really low.  We didn't have a big christmas day dinner (decided at about 4pm that we would glaze and bake the ham in the fridge and have it with leftovers) although D made his amazing omelet for breakfast which sustained us through the day.  We didn't go anywhere on christmas day - or boxing day for that matter. We watched movies, movies and more movies. Ate ham and leftovers again.  Two words: Track Pants.  I think that you get the idea.
Even with the aggressive no-christmas-craziness campaign I still found myself making 4 different kinds of cookies.  There was absolutely no reason for these cookies.  No one asked for the cookies and not one single person needs those cookies, especially at this time of year.  This is probably a good time to mention that because I work in a school I receive chocolates in amounts that are crazy - I donate and give to friends.  So why the cookies? It was the sheer guilt of tradition that motivated them.  Once they were done I realized that the blondies I made sucked (they lasted a day before I called it and they met their end) and that clementine/maple and bacon cookies become clementine cookies because clementine is a bully - I will post a recipe for these though.  From there I needed to find homes for the rest of the stuff because it was physically impossible for us to eat them all.  Merry christmas one and all.
Moving on:
These two articles entertained me: One and Two
This is the funniest thing I've discovered recently (trust me: keep going cause each page gets better and better)
I still need to make these for my bestest because she doesn't like chocolate and because I bake for her.
Can we talk for a moment about how much gushing is going on over this man and his music.  The album cannot be over hyped.
If you haven't gotten your fill of movies just yet then this might help you decide on your next rental.

Mousse cake Pre-Ganache

Mousse cake Post-Ganache

Way Way Way back in early December, D had a birthday.  We couldn't have been busier (all of us) but we still managed to squeeze some gifts and a special dinner in there.  I'm not totally confident about this but I think that D requested my own shepherd's pie concoction.  He did not request this cake - it's possible that he requested cheesecake and I didn't quite take it in... but that also might have been another year.  However, knowing that D loves chocolate mousse cake I decided to make something with chocolate mousse.  I liked the idea of the colour contrast between the layers.  The cake turned out to be surprisingly moist and lasted forever (because D ended up being the only one eating it after 2 days and refused to let it go into the green bin... which is fine because it was his birthday cake).

Chocolate Mousse Cake adapted from Martha Stewart
makes 1  9inch round cake

1/2 cup unbleached, all purpose flour
1/2 cup corn starch
pinch cinnamon
4 eggs, separated
3/4 cup sugar
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
1 tsp salt

Preheat oven to 350°F
Butter and flour a round cake tin.  Set aside.
Combine the flour, cornstarch and a pinch of cinnamon. Set aside.
Beat together the egg whites and 1/4 cup of sugar until they are stiff and fluffy.
In another bowl combine the egg yolks, vanilla.  Begin to beat together and slowly add 1/2 cup of sugar.  Beat together for about 5 minutes until thick.
Fold the egg whites into the egg yolk mixture until incorporated.
Add the flour in 3 stages, thoroughly combining each time.
Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake for 35 - 40 minutes or until the edges are golden and pull away from the sides of the pan and a tester comes out of the middle clean.
Cool completely before removing from the pan.

Chocolate Mousse adapted from Epicurious
make about 3 1/2 cups

1 1/4 cups whipping cream, chilled
3/4 cups whipping cream, room temperature
4 egg yolks
3 tbsp sugar
7oz chocolate (I used between 50 and 60% cocoa solids)

Heat 3/4 cups whipping cream over medium heat.  Remove just before it begins to boil.  Cool for 2 minutes.  Combine egg yolks, sugar and salt together in a bowl.  Pour the hot cream in a slow, thin, steady stream into the egg yolk mixture. Stir constantly until all the hot cream has been added.
Melt chocolate over a double boiler.  Add to the cream mixture and mix until thoroughly combined.  Set aside to cool until at least room temperature.
Whip the chilled cream until it forms stiff peaks.
Fold little by little into the chocolate mixture until all of the whipped cream has been added.
Pour over completely cooled cake.  Cover with plastic wrap and chill.

Chocolate Ganache adapted from Epicurious

1 1/2 cups semi sweet (55%) chocolate chips
1 cup whipping cream
1 tbsp salted butter

Place the chocolate chips in a heat proof bowl.
Heat the cream until simmering.
Pour hot cream over the chocolate.  Stir until the chips are beginning to melt.
Add the butter while the chocolate is still warm.
Stir until everything is melted and the mixture is smooth.
Cool for a few minutes and pour over cake.

Christmas is behind us and in our house that means that it's birthday time.  D and I welcomed a daughter into our lives thirteen years ago on December 31st.  Thus she became 'Kid #1'.  She was a little early so we were not exactly prepared and were certainly not prepared for the prospect of a birthday falling on NYE every year.  It's kinda like celebrating a birthday on Christmas Day or Hallowe'en.  Whether you like it or not, it won't exactly be about you, people will always be busy and/or away and your birthday party will never fall on the day of your actual birthday.  Ever since it's been something that's mattered to her, we have tried to make the day about her celebration and also give her a chance to celebrate later with friends.  This year has been no exception and here is how the birthday run-down has gone:
 - Early birthday party with friends two weeks before Christmas.  Homemade pizza for 12 (Ummmm yea)
 - Early birthday gift (see below for reason)
 - Early birthday dinner b/c D had to leave a day early for a tv NYE gig.  Homemade burgers and fries at her request.
 - Birth day we go to a movie
 - After movie we go to a local restaurant to try the burgers (success... and I got some good craft beer)
 - Come home eat cake and watch D perform on national tv


Kid #1 is now officially a teenager and I haven't aged a day.  She got a big ass speaker for her phone - cause that's what you do now.  You don't wear pinstripe jeans and listen to a cassette tape on your walkman with big felts on the headphones that fall off before you even get to school.  Now she can bluetooth her music to a boom box.  D and I were regretting the decision about 12 minutes after she had gotten it and were already asking her to turn it down.  She is officially a teenager and we are officially the parents of one.

In other news:
Please watch this movie - Yes, it has subtitles and yes hollywood is doing a remake but who cares about that.  It's a fantastic movie.
I found this article very amusing and applicable
D and I finally listened to this entire album and it's really really good
I'm just going to go ahead and take this article at face value


I'm sure that you all need another birthday cake recipe like you need a hole in your head.  Maybe you really do need a hole in your head.  Such is life.  I happen to have a lot of egg whites kicking around my kitchen because I make ice cream on the regular.  If you don't make ice cream then I guess make custard or something with the yolks.


Vanilla Birthday Cake with Chocolate Buttercream icing
adapted from here and here
makes 1 two-layer cake

2 cups unbleached, all purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
1 1/2 cup sugar
6 egg whites (about 3/4 cup)
3/4 cup milk
2 tsp vanilla

Combine the flour, baking powder and salt together and set aside.
Preheat the oven to 350°F
Butter and flour two round cake tins (8 or 9 inch will work - 9 inch will produce thinner layers)
Combine the butter and sugar together.  Mix and whisk (by hand or use a mixer) until light and fluffy - about 2 minutes.
Add the vanilla and continue to beat for another minute.
Combine the egg whites and milk together whisking until incorporated (about a minute)
Continue mixing the butter mixture at low speed (or whisking by hand) and alternately add the flour and milk mixture beginning and ending with the flour.  Beat well after each addition (the batter may look a little grainy)
Pour equally into the two baking tins.
Bake for about 30 minutes or until the edges of the cake have pulled away from the sides of the tin and are turning golden.  A cake tester should come out of the centre of the cake clean.
Cool completely before removing from the cake tin.

Chocolate Buttercream Icing
makes enough for 1 two layer cake

1 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
2 1/2 cup icing sugar
1/2 cup cocoa powder
3/4 tsp espresso coffee powder
1 tsp vanilla
4 - 5 tbsp cream

Sift together the icing sugar, cocoa powder and espresso powder.
Fluff the butter using a whisk or mixer for a minute or two.
Slowly add the icing sugar, cocoa powder mixture - beating continuously at low speed.
Beat for about 2 minutes
Add the vanilla and 2 tbsp of cream.  Continue to beat.
Add enough cream to get the icing to a spreadable consistency.
Set aside to ice the cake once it has cooled completely.

What does one do when one is having a birthday party barbecue that one might not have necessarily wanted to have but it seemed like the least worst of a few bad situation possibilities?  Well, one certainly does not try to reinvent the wheel.
What does one do when one is having a birthday party barbecue that is the last big thing on her to-do list before truly and properly going on vacation? (stay-cation, whatever) She absolutely does make things as easy as possible for herself.  Oh - and she definitely goes for a run because she's going to need it.
What does one not do when one is having a birthday party barbecue?  Well, one doesn't stay up late watching a movie... except that's what I did.  Not my smartest move but it was a good movie - 'The Trotsky' a canadian flick with Jay Baruchel, set in Montreal, wonderful.  Who can resist.

I haven't been any kind of big time home entertainer or anything like that but I've learned one thing through my years of experience.  It sounds wrong when I say it out loud.  It's ludicrously simple, ridiculous even.  It seems counter-intuitive in this modern age of healthy.  Here it is:

Make Dessert First.

I know.  I know.  Most of us don't even consider dessert.  Why would we when we can just buy it - it's so much easier.  But I can't.  Especially for birthdays.  I'm riddled with guilt if I purchase something... even if I get their name written on it.  Whatever it is you are having for dessert make sure that you've figured it out and either bought it or made it first.  It will set the tone for everything else.  It will change how you feel about the entire meal, the whole event.


And thus I found myself on the eve of the birthday party barbecue that was the lesser of many evils, making birthday cake.  What turned out to be a great birthday cake and a not too sweet icing that made the perfect quantity for the cake (ie. no leftover icing).  Birthday cake or homemade dessert or just damn good dessert of any kind will make up for any number of dinner party violations.  Violations like having a broken toilet and therefor making your guests go to the basement to use that one.  How about forgetting that people need plates for appetizers that drip (oops) or forgetting napkins altogether.  Then there is the lego that's as plentiful as dust in our house.  It took Kid #2 two days to get it all in one area and even then our 94 yr old Auntie was finding them under her feet sometimes.  Yup - even with all of that you will be excused if dessert is good.  And it was.

Our two birthday girls are the first two on the left.  Lovely Ladies.

Nobody here is a birthday girl or boy.

White Cake with Buttery Chocolate Icing adapted barely from Epicurious
makes 1 two layer cake

2 1/4 cup cake and pastry flour
1 3/4 cups sugar
4 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 cup milk at room temperature
6 lg egg whites (about 3/4 cup or just a little more) at room temperature
3 tsp vanilla
3/4 cup unsalted butter soft but still coolish

Preheat oven to 350°F
Grease and flour two 8 inch round cake pans and set aside.
In a large bowl, sift together the pastry flour, sugar, baking powder and salt.  Mix and set aside.
Combine the egg whites, milk and vanilla.  Mix well and set aside.
Add the butter to the flour mixture and start to whisk or mix together (if using a mixer).  Once a crumbly texture has formed add all but a half cup of the egg whites mixture and continue mixing at high speed for a couple of minutes.
Add in the rest of the egg whites mixture and then mix for another minute or so.
Pour evenly into the prepared pans (I did a little slam on the counter top with mine before putting them in the oven) and bake for about 25 - 30 minutes or until a cake tester comes out of the middle clean.
Cool for about 20 minutes before removing from the pans and then cool completely on a cooling rack before icing.

Buttery Chocolate Icing adapted from here
Makes about 1 1/2 cups (perfect for a two layer cake)

2 cups icing sugar
1/4 cup dark cocoa powder
1/2 cup unsalted butter at room temperature and cubed
5 tbsp whipping cream
1 tsp vanilla

Sift together the icing sugar and cocoa powder.
Add the cubes of butter.  Using a mixer (or a very good whisk and a fast, strong arm) mix until things aren't dry anymore but quite thick.  Add in the whipping cream and vanilla and begin to mix slowly until the liquid is incorporated and then move to a higher speed and continue mixing until the cream starts to thicken up quite a bit (this will take a few minutes).  Once the cream has thickened to a nice spreadable consistency then get ready to ice the cake.
Refrigerate after icing the cake.

I don't do martyr well.  Oh sure, I play a good game.  I'll sacrifice a lot for the sake of the kids.  I don't look like your typical diva and I certainly don't act like one.  I can tell you one thing though.  I am stamping my foot on the ground and saying 'I want my hour back!'
I was reading this article... again (!) and I've realized that what upsets me most isn't what I thought it would be.  The whole calorie counting/exercise mania/to look gorgeous crap is what initially hit me.  I tried the food restriction/calorie counting in my twenties which corresponded nicely with being desperately broke and not being able to generally afford things like meat, eggs and cheese in quantities of any significance.  What I lived on I can't remember exactly but I have vague thoughts of beans and lots of them, toast, peanut butter (thank god for that one) and coffee.  What it got me was a lot of malcontent, a size 2 and digestion problems.  Glad that one's behind me.
The exercise, as you all know, is something that I'm religious about - one of the few things really.  I don't do it to be skinny.  I am a size 8 and proud.  Why I exercise is simple.  I feel wonderful, my health is off the charts (literally, as far as my insurance company is concerned) and I think better out there on my bike or on a run than I do at any other time in the day.  It's my time.  I don't do spa days (maybe spa hours but not days) to rejuvenate, I do a run.
So what finally made me mad when I read this article?  You know, after all of these years of liberation, 'equality' and authority, we women are still working at a disadvantage all the time.  We still bear the lion's share of work in the home (in most cases) whether or not we work outside of it.  We still have children and carry a lot of the responsibilities that go along with kids.  We still feel an incredible amount of pressure to look the part... well put together, of a certain size, doing all the right things.  In other words rather than freeing ourselves over the last 50 years it feels more like a 'make work' project.  I do want my hour back.


I don't want my hour back so that I can be told what I'm supposed to fill it with.  I don't want my hour back so that I can watch reality tv on cable.  I don't want my hour back so that I can wander around in a mall.  I don't want my hour to go from being told to fill it with the Jane Fonda workout to being told to fill it with... anything.  I want it to be my hour.  And that's the martyr piece that I'm not good at.  When I don't get some time - without restraint, without demands, without mental invasion - then I start to get antsy, panicky even claustrophobic.  When I go from getting up in the morning to get ourselves and kids ready, to work, to gym, to home, to laundry, to clean, to cook, to read, to sleep then I start to feel lost in there.  Today, I'm tired of feeling lost and I want to feel found.  That's it - I'm finding myself.


Today I am eating chocolate cake - maybe even multiple pieces - and I'm going for a run - maybe even a long one - because today that's how I want to fill up MY hour.


Plain Old Chocolate Cake adapted from Alexandra's Kitchen
makes 1 8x8 inch square cake

1 1/2 oz semi-sweet or dark chocolate (not unsweetened), chopped
3/4 cup coffee, still warm
1 1/2 cups unbleached, all purpose flour
3/4 cups dark cocoa powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 egg + 2 egg whites (or two eggs)
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 vanilla pod seeds
1/4 cup + 2 tbsp melted butter or oil (coconut or veg)
1/4 cup + 2 tbsp buttermilk

Ganache icing: adapted from Martha Stewart
makes enough when thickened to cover 1 square chocolate cake

3/4 cup cream
4 oz chopped dark chocolate, finely chopped
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp espresso powder
2 - 4 tbsp sugar (depending on how sweet you like it)

Grease and flour a square 8x8 cake pan.  Set aside.
Preheat oven to 300°F.

Combine the hot coffee and chopped chocolate together and set aside.
Combine the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder and salt together.  Sift and mix well.  Set aside.
Whisk (or use a mixer) the eggs until lemon coloured and slightly frothy (about 1 1/2 minutes).  Add the sugar and continue to whisk until frothy and thickening slightly.  Add the melted butter and continue to whisk for about a minute.  Add in the vanilla and the coffee/chocolate mixture and whisk until well mixed.
Add in the flour mixture and gently whisk until well mixed.
Slowly add in the buttermilk mixture and whisk until the batter is smooth.
Pour into the prepared pan and drop onto the floor or counter just to get out the air bubbles.
Bake for about 40 - 45 minutes or until a cake tester comes out clean.
Cool completely before removing from the pan.
To make ganache:
Bring the cream just to the boiling point in a heavy bottomed saucepan.
Remove from the heat and add in the chocolate and salt and stir until the chocolate is melted and the cream and chocolate have completely mixed together.  Cool to room temperature (about 40 minutes), stirring regularly.
Whip using a hand mixer or whatever until it gets thick and spreadable (took me between 5 and 7 minutes)
Spread onto completely cooled cake.

What do you want for Christmas?
It's not a question that I particularly savour.  I don't need much and I certainly don't want to spend time thinking about it.  However, I have kids and family members who aren't quite ready to let go of the whole 'gift thing'.  As a result, I'm obliged to think about what I do want for Christmas.  So here's the start of my Christmas list.
1.  A lego finder/extractor/exterminator.  'Nuff said.
2.  A day with my BFF just us, no restrictions.
3.  A day with my other BFF just us, no restrictions.
4.  Weather that allows me to bike all year but does not indicate the onset of global climate meltdown.
5.  The ability to see through B.S. quickly, easily and without holding a grudge.
6.  The recipes that I asked for last year but didn't get.
7.  Champagne
8.  Non Cable TV that's even remotely worth watching.
9.  A new cookbook that incorporates everything I love about cooking - seasonal vegetables (heavy emphasis on the winter ones that get ignored most of the time), honey, whole wheat, humanely raised animals, locally made cheese, wine and chocolate.
Hmmm - it seems that once I got started things flowed a lot more easily than I expected.  I don't expect to get any of the things on the list with the exception of #7 and the remote possibility of #'s 2 and 3.  And that's all fine with me.


December isn't all about Christmas and concerts and gigs and running to rehearsals and moping around about the baking that hasn't happened yet and making a list of presents to buy that probably won't ever get done.  December is also about birthdays in our house.  The celebrations begin on the 2nd and don't end until the 31st.  That's right.  December 31st.  Most people I meet with a birthday in December (and I've met many many many) are resentful about it.  It's busy and birthday inevitably get overshadowed by those dang holidays.
Defying the odds, we managed to get a slice of cake down D's gullet in between gigs and we were only missing one of the fam.  This cake has made up for absolutely everything.  Everything that makes having a birthday in December frustrating.  I took a chance.  I tried a new recipe that I'd had my eye on for a while.  I adapted and swapped and added.  And it worked.  It worked beautifully, exceptionally, thrillingly.  There is absolutely nothing Christmassy about this cake and I promise that you won't care one single bit.


Chocolate Birthday Cake adapted from Marcus Samuelsson and Alexandra's Kitchen

Cake:
1 3/4 cup unbleached all purpose flour
3/4 cup cocoa powder
1 3/4 cups sugar
1 tsp espresso powder
1 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
2 tsp baking soda
2 lg eggs
1 cup buttermilk
1/4 cup canola oil
3 egg whites (optional, but it worked out nicely)
3/4 cup boiling water

Icing:

1 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
3 cups icing sugar, sifted
3 - 4 tbsp cream
1 - 1 1/2 tbsp espresso powder

Preheat oven to 350°F
Butter and flour 2 round baking pans and set aside.
Combine the flour, cocoa powder, sugar, espresso powder, salt, baking powder and baking soda together.  Mix well and set aside.
Beat the egg whites until stiff and set aside.
Combine the eggs, buttermilk and canola oil.  Whip together until the eggs are completely mixed in.  The mixture should feel just a little thick.
Mix the egg mixture into the flour mixture by hand or using a mixer until the liquid is incorporated.  Add the boiling water and continue to mix well until the water is evenly mixed in.
Gently fold in the egg whites until they have completely mixed into the batter.
Pour the batter evenly between the two baking pans.  Drop the baking pans onto the counter once or twice to let some of the air bubbles escape.
Bake for about 30 - 35 minutes or until a cake tester comes out with crumbs and not liquid.
Cool for about 10 minutes in the pans and then remove to a cooling rack.
Cool completely before icing.
Icing:
Mix together the icing sugar and butter until it begins to get cream slowly add the cream by a tbsp at a time.  Save 1 tbsp of cream and mix it with the espresso powder. Add the espresso cream just before the icing reaches the consistency that you are looking for - spreadable but not runny.  Add the espresso cream and mix until incorporated.  Spread over the first layer of cake on the top and sides.  Add the second layer and finish icing the top and sides.

It's time to talk about birthdays.  If you've been reading any of the drivel that I manage to churn out two or three times a week then you'll know by now that birthdays are important for me.  I can go without any other gift giving holiday without blinking... but not the birthday.  I've always wondered at people who don't celebrate, don't feel like it's a big deal, don't care or (horror of horrors) simply forget.  I've wondered if it's age, if it's nature, if it's nurture (you know I had to go there).  I never took long to wonder about it before moving on to think some more about my own birthday.  Then a funny thing happened...
Last year was really not a great year for us.  Finances were down... way down.  This is not irregular in a house with two musicians.  Might be a little more irregular in a house with two lawyers, right?  Either way, we were kinda crunched.  My last birthday I didn't really have the spirit in me to do anything big. Too much other stuff going on, too tired, too broke and quite frankly, I just didn't need anything.  Then our anniversary rolled around and we didn't remember until we got a card in the mail from my Mom.  It just totally passed us by.  I think that was the point when I realized that I had made a significant paradigm shift around presents and stuff.
So when this birthday came around (almost a month ago - I'm sorry) I knew exactly what I wanted to do.  I didn't want any big jewellery or bags or clothes or shoes or furniture or... I wanted chocolate.  That's all I asked for.  Chocolate.


Chocolate from this place.  I love it but I never get there.  It's not far but just far enough for me not to get there as much as I would like.  So D got me chocolate.  Flourless chocolate cake, chocolate truffles, chocolate with red pepper and salt, old fashioned chocolate and two more bars of amazing, gorgeous dark chocolate.  I'm pretty sure that they had to significantly restock after D left the place.  I was thrilled and determined to do something amazing with some of that chocolate.


Well, here it is... something amazing.  Cookies.  They're gorgeous and I'm happy.  I feel like I've celebrated my birthday all over again.  Rich goes without saying but that's ok because you don't want to eat a lot of these.  You want to savour them lovingly.  I made them with dark chocolate chunks because, well it's my party and I'm into simplicity at the moment.   You can use whatever you would like on the inside of yours.  So long as the quality is top notch 'cause that will make a huge difference with these.


Chocolate Brownie Drops adapted from Alice Mendrich in 'Hello' Magazine
makes about 2 doz med/small cookies

4 tbsp unsalted butter, cut into chunks
8 oz dark chocolate (at least 70% cocoa solids), chopped
1/3 + 1 tbsp unbleached all purpose flour
1/8 tsp baking soda
1 cup (less 2 tbsp) sugar
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp vanilla
2 lg eggs
3/4 cup dark, milk or white chocolate, chopped

Preheat oven to 350˚ F - make sure that your racks are place in the top and bottom thirds of the oven.
Line a cookie sheet or two with parchment or a silicon liner.
Get a small amount of water barely simmering in a pot that is wide enough to have a bowl set over it.  In a heat proof bowl add the butter and 8 oz of dark chocolate together.  Stir until it's just melted and warm.
Whisk together the flour and baking and set aside.
Once the chocolate/butter is ready whisk in the sugar, salt and vanilla.  Add in the eggs and whisk until completely mixed.  Add the flour and continue stirring (wooden spoon is recommended here) until the batter starts to pull away from the sides of the bowl and is glossy smooth.  Making sure that the batter is completely cooled stir in the last of the chocolate (if the batter is warm then... yeah, it will melt).
Spoon by tbsp's onto the prepared cookie sheet leaving some room to expand between the cookie mounds.
Bake for 10 - 12 minutes or until the surface has cracked but it still has some give when you press it gently.
Place on cooling racks and store in air tight containers.

Save the sighs.  It was good and I bet you wish you were here to have some too.  Actually, I wish that you were here right now.
Here's why...

D and I have a good relationship.  We've been together for a lot of years and we're happy to have had them.  yeah, there've been downs.  That's normal.  Times when we've wanted to throw in the towel, forget it all happened, shake hands and walk away... but we didn't.  Having weathered enough crap between the two of us and with life in general we can both honestly confess our good fortune at spending this time together.
Tomorrow is D's birthday.  It's not a big one - no big landmarks, 'Oh jeez, I can't believe you're that old' or 'You know, I always thought that by the time I got this old that I would be on my way out' or anything like that.  It's just a birthday.
What's making this birthday a little extra special and/or odd is that D will be on a plane.  He's going to Burkina Faso for about 18 days give or take.  I'm not so sure that being on a plane is like being at a restaurant on your birthday.  I'm kinda skeptical that the air host's (or whatever you call them) will be convening by D's seat to sing him a birthday song and present him with a cupcake and candle.  So I'm making sure that we send him off with something before his birthday.  It's only the night before so at least it's close.  I'm gonna make him something slightly more up his alley once he's back and can enjoy it for a couple of days.  For now this simple chocolate cake with simple chocolate icing is just the thing.  That's all the upside.
The downside is that I'm all alone with two kids for the next 18 days give or take and concert season is just kicking off for this household and birthday month has descended and work continues right up to the 23rd and then it's this big holiday that everyone kinda freaks out about.  I'm not feeling sorry for myself but I'll definitely miss him.


I guess that this cake is both a birthday and a goodbye thing... a little send off.
On a side note: I'm not going to bitch for long about this but this whole 'dark-by-4:15-p.m.-thing' is getting a bit old for me.  I'm pretty dang tired of making something when I come home from work and by the time I'm ready for pictures it's too dark to get a decent shot.  I'll be damned if I'm going to set up a light-box and get into all that.  I must keep telling myself that in another 6 - 8 weeks things will already feel a little different 'cause we're almost at the solstice, right?  For now please excuse the crappy shots and try to enjoy the spirit of the evening with us.


Chocolate Mud Cake adapted from Delicious Magazine (UK)
makes 1 9 inch round cake
(I'll try to give accurate equivalents here but it's not exact)

250g (1 cup) unsalted butter, cubed
200g dark chocolate, chopped
1 tbsp espresso powder
100 ml milk
250g (about 2 cups or just a little less) self raising flour (you can make your own)
40g (a little less than a half cup) dark cocoa
250g (about 1 cup) sugar
4 lg eggs beaten
1 tsp vanilla
150 ml sour cream

Icing:

1 1/2 cups icing sugar
3/4 cup dark cocoa
1 tsp espresso powder
3 tbsp unsalted butter
1/2 cup (give to take) cream

Grease and flour a 9 inch round springform pan
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.
Melt the butter, chocolate, espresso powder and milk together in a double boiler and then set aside.  Cool for about 15 minutes.
Sift the flour, dark cocoa and sugar together.
Add the chocolate mixture to the flour mixture.
Add the beaten eggs, vanilla and sour cream and mix well.
Pour the batter into the prepared pan and smooth out.
Bake for about 65 - 70 minutes or until a cake tester comes out with just wet crumbs on it.
Cool completely in the pan.

Icing:

Sift together the icing sugar and cocoa powder.
Add in the espresso powder.
Add the butter and enough cream to mix it together.  Continue adding cream until the icing gets to the thickness and consistency that you like.
Continue mixing out all the lumps.
Smooth over completely cooled cake.

Fact:  I've been filling my freezer and pantry shelves a whole lot more than I've been cooking lately.  I feel a bit guilty about it and even a bit lazy for it but there it is.

Fact:  Sometimes I get to run and bike all in the same day.  I feel neither guilty nor lazy for that one AND, however strange this may sound to you, it's a huge treat.

Fact:  Even though I'm not cooking as much, I'm still knee-deep in birthdays.  So, I've been baking.

Fact:  One week ago my grass was brown.  Now it is green.  We are presently experiencing our first rainy day in what feels like a very long time, with temperatures below 25 degrees.



Fact:  Kids like cake a whole lot more if there are sprinkles on it.  Especially if putting the sprinkles on the cake turns out to be an art project.  The sprinkles on top of this birthday cake are in the shape of a 'T' at least, our 'art project' version of a 'T'.  (lot's of quotation marks in that one)



Fact:  I will bake you the cake of your choice for your birthday... eventually.  It might not get there for your birthday.  Right now I owe my BFF nothing less than: Bread, rhubarb/blueberry/strawberry sauce, vanilla cupcakes and... something else that I can't remember at the moment - I'll probably have to ask her about it.  My BFF's birthday is in July too.


Mom-in-law had a rainbow birthday cake last week.  This week my close friend T was coming over for dinner and a late celebration of his July birthday.  He said, 'Let's just get together and drink'.  I responded with a choice word or two and then told him, 'You'd better just tell me what you would like me to make otherwise I'm gonna go ahead and make you something and you might think it sucks.  It's your birthday Bitch!'  Nice friend eh?  He responded with a choice word or two of his own and then told me he wanted my Shepherd's Pie (nice choice, I agree) and chocolate cake.  T absolutely can't stand fruit in his cake (that includes jam - I found out).  So this is what I made him.  We had a great time eating Shepherd's Pie, drinking some great stuff and eating our cake too.


Chocolate Birthday Cake
adapted from Nigella Lawon - 'Nigella Bites'

2 2/3 cup all purpose flour
3/4 cup + 1 tbsp sugar
1/3 cup light brown sugar
1/4 cocoa powder (I use Cocoa Camino)
3 tsp instant espresso powder
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
3 lg eggs
1/2 cup + 2 tbsp sour cream
1 tbsp vanilla
3/4 cup unsalted butter, melted and cooled
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 1/3 cup chilled water

Icing:

6 oz bittersweet or dark chocolate (70% cocoa solids and up)
1 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
2 cups icing sugar, sifted
1 tbsp vanilla
1 tbsp cream (a little extra if necessary)

Butter and flour (or use parchment) two 8 inch round cake tins.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Mix the flour, sugars, cocoa, espresso, baking powder, baking soda and salt together in a bowl.  Mix and set aside.
Mix the eggs, sour cream and vanilla in another bowl.  Whisk together until creamy and set aside.
Beat together the butter and veg. oil using a machine or by hand until just mixed together.  Beat in the chilled water.
Add the flour mixture and mix together nice and slow.
Add in the egg mixture and mix until everything is blended well.
Pour equally between the two tins.
Bake for about 45 minutes or until a cake tester comes out clean.
Cool for about 10 minutes in the tins and then remove to cooling racks.  Cool completely.

Icing:
Melt the chocolate in a bowl over simmering water.  Set aside once melted to cool slightly.
In a large bowl beat the butter until it's all creamy.  Add in the icing sugar and beat again until well blended.
Add in the vanilla and chocolate and mix until well blended.
Add in the cream just until it reaches the desired consistency.
Ice the cake one the cakes are completely cooled.

I love my kids.  I love 'em a lot.  But here's the thing:  I really have trouble with all the stuff that I'm supposed to 'like' doing as a parent.  Take, for example, the whole birthday party thing.  Going to a movie with 15 kids or going to the pool and then doing pizza and cake and all that crap - with 20 kids or booking some big party thing... oh god!  I can't deal with it.  All of a sudden I've got parents to feed and kids to entertain for 2 hours and, I don't know if anyone else has noticed this, hot dogs, chips and a pencil and ruler to take home just isn't cutting it with kids anymore...
However, I'm not entirely sure anymore because we've kind of given up on the big party circuit.  We still get invited to them and Kid #1 and #2 do go to them (gladly).  We just don't throw them.  We throw a bbq in the summer for Kid #2 because his birthday is on July 4th.  Perfect outdoor BBQ time of year.  We invite friends and family and make a deal out of the dinner part of it.  Kids can play outside and enjoy themselves.  There is birthday cake but no games or the obligatory stuff.  It's fun because my friends are there and we are enjoying ourselves.


December 31st is birthday time for Kid #2.  Not so BBQ friendly here in Toronto.  So after a couple of large birthday parties in the middle of winter we gave up.  Now all she wants is for a few friends to come over, they eat, they watch a movie, they sleep-over, they don't do much sleeping during the 'sleep-over', they eat again (maybe some homemade pancakes) and toddle off home.  Beautiful.  I can watch my own movie on the computer while they watch theirs.  I can put them to 'sleep' in the basement where they can giggle to their hearts content and I won't hear them.  Most of the partying is happening while I'm sleeping... can't ask for anything better.  If only there were such a perfect solution for taking your kid to the park or playgroup - ugh!


Here is the cake that I made for the 'sleep-over'.
It's from Nigella.  This cake uses custard powder which, before using it in this recipe, I had never seen or used before.  The can of custard powder is kinda cute:


I like this cake because it's cakey.  It's not too dense or wet on the inside.  It's nice, dry and spongy (hence the 'sponge' in the title, right?).
I like this cake because it looks appropriately fancy but not like it came from a bakery.  I like it when something looks homemade... especially when it is.  I like when a cake looks really good but wasn't really hard to make at all.
I also like that stuff drips over the sides because dripping chocolate is awesome.  And I like it when kids around a table look at this cake and get really excited when they see it.  I like baking something that garners a 'I can't wait to eat that' from somebody.  If you like these things too then try making this cake.


Birthday Sponge Cake (adapted from Nigella Lawson's 'Feast')

Cake:
200 g (1 3/4 cups) unbleached all-purpose flour
3 tbsp Birds Custard Powder
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking sod
dash of salt
4 eggs
225 g (1 2/3 cup) unsalted butter at room temperature
200 g (1 1/4 cup) sugar
2 - 3 tbsp milk

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F
Grease and flour two smaller sized (20 cm) cake tins and set aside.
Combine the flour, custard powder, baking powder, baking soda and salt together in a bowl.  Mix to combine and set aside.
In another bowl beat together the eggs and butter until it's well incorporated.  Add the flour mixture to the butter and eggs and mix well.  Add in the milk 1 tbsp at a time until it forms a pourable consistency.
Divide the batter between the two cake tins and bake for about 22 min. or until a tester comes out clean.
Cool for a few minutes in the tins before removing to a cooling rack.  Cool completely.



Buttercream filling:
125 g icing sugar
4 tsp Birds Custard Powder
75 g unsalted butter at room temperature
1 1/2 tsp boiling water

Whisk together the icing sugar and the custard powder.  Add the butter and mix until incorporating.  Add in the hot water just until the consistency is right for spreading over the cake.


Chocolate Icing:
175 g dark chocolate (or a mix of dark and milk - which is what I did)
1/4 cup cream

Over a pot of simmering water melt the chocolate and 1/8th of a cup of the cream together in a heatproof bowl.  The chocolate may seize a little bit once it's melted.  Remove from heat and add in the rest of the cream.  Mix gently until it becomes glossy in consistency.  Cool slightly if needed and pour over cake.

In Trinidad 'New Years' isn't quite celebrated as such.  Instead 'Ol' Years' is celebrated instead.
I like this idea.
I like the celebrating of what's been done, what's gone by, what we've survived (in essence ;-).
Truth be told, I've never gone in much for celebrating New/Old Years in any significant way.  My church background meant that when I was young I celebrated by going to a church service, testimonies were given and then all the young people would stay up all night... eating, listening to music, playing sports and generally having fun away from their parents.  Admittedly, since those days, it's pretty much been at home, quiet with a bottle of champagne (Veuve, of course!).
That was until the year 2000.  Yes, the very last day of the year 2000.  At 10 in the morning, after too many hours, my beautiful Kid #1 was born.  She was born at home in the middle of a snow storm.  Friends unwittingly drove down in that same snowstorm to celebrate with us.  We had a houseful of friends and a new baby.  It's been 10 years.  My baby is in gr. 5.  She is still, and always, the youngest in her class.  She is bright, beautiful and talented.  She drives me to near insanity and yet she makes me so proud.  I love her to bits.
Now every Ol' Years is also her birthday celebration.  And we Celebrate:



She gets to choose her cake and her favourite meal each year.  This year she has chosen... not a cake but a pie.  A complete change for her but totally her choice.

So, for this Ol' Years and for my Beautiful Kid #1's birthday, I give her Caramel Truffle Pie.


Remember all that's gone under the bridge this year.  All that you've gained, all that you've lost.  The ways that you have loved, the many ways you've grown.  All the love you've been given along the way.  Celebrate, Breathe deeply, be Thankful and look ahead.


Caramel Truffle Pie (adapted from Good Housekeeping)

Crust:
1 1/2 cups graham crackers, crushed
1/4 cup + 4 tbsp unsalted butter, melted

Caramel:
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup butter
1/2 cup cream or evaporated milk

Truffle:
1 1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1 cup cream
3 tbsp butter

To Assemble:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
In a large pie plate add the graham crackers and the melted butter.


Combine until the graham crackers can form a ball, stick together - you get the idea.  Press into the base and onto the sides of the pie place.  Bake for 8 - 10 minutes.  Remove from the oven and cool.  Turn OFF the oven

Caramel:
Heat the sugar in a high sided, heavy bottomed pan over med/low heat.  Once it begins to turn golden stir it regularly.  Once it's liquified and golden brown then add in the butter, turn the heat down to LOW. Once the butter is mixed in well add in the cream or evap milk.  Mix well.  Let it simmer for a few minutes on low heat.  Should look like caramel.  Might still be a bit runny.  You could simmer it a few more minutes.  Take off the heat and pour into the cooled graham cracker crust.  Be sure not to eat anything left in the pan - we all know that caramel tastes awful!  Let the caramel cool for about 20 minutes before adding the chocolate on top

Truffle:
Place a stainless steel/heat proof bowl over gently simmering water.  Don't let the water touch the bowl.  Add in the chocolate chips, butter and cream to the bowl and begin to melt together.  Once completely melted, remove from the heat.  Whisk it well for a few minutes to add in some air.  Pour on top of cooled   caramel.

Refrigerate the whole thing overnight or at least for a few hours until set.  Remove from the fridge a half hour before serving.  Serve with whipped cream on the side (or on the top) and a birthday candle or two.