It's taken me so long to get this post out that I've forgotten what I took pictures of.  After having checked the pictures I'll be honest with you, I'm still not a hundred percent.  Nevertheless, I'm not one to let a little thing like bad memory get in my way, so I forge ahead.  The pictures look good.  I think that this was vegetarian.  Not super sure but pretty sure and since vegetarian is a thing that most of us are happy to have more of I'm gonna run with it.  If you see something that looks suspiciously like meat don't worry, it's just large chunks of mushrooms (or something).

As I look back over my last few posts I'm a little distressed at the lack of savoury food and also simply the small number of posts.  Yikes - where have the last two months gone?  I'm home today with a sick 7 year old.  Since he is running around and playing energetically with lego, I'm wondering if I wasn't conned.  However, heavy eyes, a slight fever and some whimpering this morning convinced me that staying home was a good idea.  This has given me time to get a post out.  It has also given me time to catch up on work emails, have a pleasant morning coffee at home and sift through the photos for this post... and find these photos as well.


I guess that kid #2 enjoys not just watching the stuff on the computer but feels compelled to document the occasion with pictures as well.  I should just be happy that he is doing it all in french and shut up.

It's amazing how full your brain can be and yet you can have absolutely nothing to say.  That is how I've been feeling lately.  Quiet.  Possibly even uninspired.  I am working on inspiration but it can be a hard thing to drum up.  I've been scouring pinterest for ideas (it's not really working though), pouring over some of my tried and true cookbooks (nothing yet) and... well that's it really.  Maybe inspiration will come with better weather.  Maybe my paradigm is changing.  Who knows.  The thought of subsisting on beer (craft beer though - come on) and chips for the rest of my life doesn't sound to me like the worst fate.   That should give you some idea of where I am at the moment.
Fortunately this malaise hasn't affected my cooking ability.  In fact, when I do cook everybody tells me it's amazingly delicious, etc.  Even better than usual (that's what you call a back handed compliment I think).  I churned these suckers out because I had feta cheese in the fridge that was going to start giving way to the bacteria that was threatening to turn it fuzzy and blue.  I'm told that the suckers were good.


Now I am going to do something with bananas (my freezer has gifted me with a lifetime supply) and possibly make some soup for the sick conman(kid) who says he is craving see-through soup.  Wish me luck.


Veggie Pinwheels
makes about 9 medium sized pinwheels

Dough:
2 cups unbleached, all purpose flour
2 tbsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 tsp turmeric
1/3 cup shortening (I think that I used half lard and half cold butter, cubed)
3/4 cup milk

Filling:
3/4 cup onion, diced
1/2 cup celery, diced
3 cloves garlic, crushed
1 lg bunch (about 4 - 5 cups) greens (kale, collard, chard - I used chard) finely chopped
1 cup mushrooms, stems removed and finely chopped
2 tsp salt
1 boullion cube (I used a low salt, veggie one)
1 tbsp each, basil, oregano, parsley
dash or two of Worcestershire sauce
2 tbsp honey
2 tbsp tomato sauce
1 tsp dijon
dash of pepper sauce (optional)
2 tbsp water if needed
3/4 cup feta cheese, crumbled
1/2 cup cheddar (havarti or brick would also do), shredded

Dough:
Combine the flour, baking powder, salt and turmeric.  Mix together. Cut in the shortening (or lard and/or butter) with a pastry cutter or two forks until the mixture looks crumbly.  Add enough milk to the mixture for it to form a ball but not be too wet.
Set aside.

Filling:
Heat a large pot or dutch oven over medium heat.
Add in about 3 tbsp of oil.
Add in the onion and celery and turn the heat down to med/low.  Cook for about 5 minutes or until the onion is wilted and beginning to caramelize.
Add in the garlic and bouillon cube (crumble it with your fingers).  Cook together for about 2 more minutes.
Add in all of the other ingredients except for the feta and cheddar.
Cook together until the greens are wilted (add a little extra water if the mixture gets too dry).
Add in the feta and mix well.
Set aside to cool slightly.

Putting it together:
Preheat the oven to 400°F
Line a cookie sheet with parchment or a silicon liner and set aside.
On a lightly floured surface, roll out the dough in a rectangular shape about 1/2 an inch thick.
Spoon the filling onto the dough and spread it out evenly.
Sprinkle the cheddar over the filling and roll everything up along the long side of the rectangle.  Cut the tube into pieces of about two fingers thickness and place flat side down on the cookie sheet - leave some room in between each one for expansion.
THIS WILL GET MESSY.
Bake for about 20 minutes or until the edges of each roll are turning golden.
Remove from oven and cool for about 10 minutes before serving.

I am typing furiously in a desperate attempt to ignore the panic that is slowly but steadily rising in my soul.  Snow.  We have snow and copious amounts of it.  It has been falling since the morning and although it is now later afternoon, has not abated.  I'm guessing 8cm so far.  D has a gig tonight out of town and I have to head with kid #2 to a concert being given by kid #1's choir.  I want to curl up in a blanket and watch a movie, allowing me to look at the falling and blowing white stuff safe and snug inside my house.  The true source of my panic however is the immediate change in lifestyle that will begin now and extend probably into the end of February - if I'm lucky.  I am watching my biking days go bye bye and I won't be running for a few days until this snow gets cleared.  Wait just a second, I need to go and breath into a paper bag.
It's not that I'm addicted but I'm addicted.  It feels good to be active.  Really really good.  It feels like I've got some control over my life and that's because it probably releases some endorphins or some kind of crap that makes me feel like everything is awesome.  Running and biking also gives me a precious few minutes all by my little lonesome.  Something that is a rare commodity for me.  When it is gone it feels like something has been stolen and I'm a little emptier for it.  The good news is that the temps are supposed to have risen above freezing in a few days so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this snow will pass if only for a little while... it is December after all.  I'm supposing that makes me some kind of grinch or something.  Who doesn't want snow at Christmas?
Speaking of Christmas... it's coming soon so I'm told.  One of my co-workers (who obviously doesn't read my blog!) asked me whether I had my turkey.  I told her that if I didn't see a turkey for an undetermined - but long - period of time that it wouldn't hurt my feelings at all.  Turkey for Christmas?  No way.  We are so sick of turkey thanks to the 18lbs of it that I can now proudly tell you, we have eaten our way through.  This recipe marked the last bag of turkey in the freezer.  Somehow we made our way through 6 bags of the stuff.  I've forgotten exactly how we whittled our way through and much of it I have chronicled here.  Truth is that even though I've marked this as 'leftover #6' this is really about number nine or ten.  Some of my leftover use-ups were really not good at all and I didn't have to heart to bother with them here.


Good news, these turkey buns didn't suck.  In fact, I'm told that they were good.  Really good.  D told me that they were amazing.  The kids didn't even care that they were turkey.  Didn't even ask.  Eight or nine or ten leftover recipes later and I have finally hit the jackpot.  Originally, I wanted to make a sweet and sour pulled pork kind of thing with the turkey but that would have required making something else to go with it.  You know a bun or noodles or whatever.  For one reason or another, I just couldn't bring myself to do it and started to concentrate intently on what a solution could be.
I made these things called beef margaritas a million years ago and posted the recipe here.  They were a huge hit and I haven't made them since.  I thought it would be worth giving them a whirl with bbq'd turkey and decided to take the leap.  Paid off.
Yay for big jumps, paper bags and no more turkey.



BBQ Turkey Buns
serves 4 - 6
makes about 10 buns

Use the dough recipe from this post

1/2 cup onion, diced
3 cloves garlic
1 stalk celery, diced
2/3 cup (about 1) red pepper, diced
1 cup mushrooms, stalks removed and diced
2 1/2 cups cooked turkey, diced
1 bouillion cube, crushed up (I used a veggie one)
3 tbsp worcestershire sauce
2 tbsp soy sauce
2 tbsp mixed herbs (parsley, marjoram, oregano, rosemary)
2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
3 heaping tbsp brown sugar
1/2 cup ketchup
1/4 cup bbq sauce
1 tbsp dijon mustard
1 1/2 tsp salt
pepper sauce (optional)


Heat a large pot or dutch oven over medium heat.
Add some oil or grease (about 1 1/2 tbsp)
Add the onion and celery.  Saute for about 3 minutes.  Add the garlic, red pepper and mushrooms.  Add another 1 1/2 tbsp of oil or grease and turn the heat down to med/low.
Cook together, stirring regularly, for about 5 minutes or until the pepper and mushrooms begin to soften and caramelize.
Add in the diced turkey and stir to mix.
Add the bouillon cube, worcestershire, soy sauce and mixed herbs.  Stir and cook together for a few minutes.
Add the apple cider vinegar and brown sugar and cook together for another 2 minutes.
Add the ketchup, bbq sauce, mustard, salt and pepper sauce.
Cook together for about 7 minutes at low heat but the mixture should still be simmering to allow it to thicken up a bit.  If it's too thick then add a couple of tbsp's of water.
Check the taste and adjust if necessary.  Set aside to cool.
Preheat the oven to 350° F.
Line a cookie sheet with parchment or a silicon liner.
Prepare the dough and then roll it out in a rectangle shape to about a 1/2 inch thickness.
Spread the meat mixture over the rectangle of dough.
Roll up the dough from long edge to long edge.
Slice the log about 1 1/2 - 2 inches thick and place each roll sideways on the baking pan leaving some room in between each roll.
Bake for about 35 minutes or until the rolls have risen and spread out and the edges have browned nicely.
Remove and cool for about 10 minutes before breaking them apart and serving.

Things you can't do when you contract a stomach bug:
 - eat
 - make food
 - stand up
 - think
 - answer phone calls
 - work
 - run
 - write a blog post

Things you can easily do when you contract a stomach bug:
 - sleep in your bed
 - lie down in your bed
 - find comfortable positions in your bed
 - doze while your 7 yr old reads to you in bed
 - allow yourself to be looked after in your bed

It's so easy to forget how immobilizing a stomach bug can be.  When you can't stand long enough to even brush your teeth.  That it becomes so difficult to concentrate that you can't even focus on a text message.  How many days it takes to go over it and how frustrating it can be. This has been my life over the last 5 days.  Incidentally, those same five days included our entire Thanksgiving weekend.  It's almost embarrassing to consider how much time I've spent sleeping over the last five days and alarming to realize how little I've eaten.  But such is the business of stomach bugs and, fingers crossed, it's the last time I have to deal with that business for a good, long while.


Needless to say, I did not do much eating of this lasagna.  I got hit just after I made it.  I am assured that it was very good though and, in case you were wondering, feeds an army.
It was Thanksgiving weekend in Canada so many or even most of us were celebrating in our way.  This was one of the first years in which we were completely on our own.  So even though I was not feeling great at all I managed to churn out some mashed potatoes (with the help of Kid #1), Trinidadian callaloo, stewed pigeon peas, stuffing and apple pie (at the request of Kid #2 who decided that he didn't like it)  D took care of the turkey - purchasing, prepping, roasting, basting, carving and making of gravy - all of it, thankfully.  I was able to eat some of our turkey dinner but not much.


This lasagna is a great way to use up some cooked chicken and an even better way to incorporate kale (the new superfood - I'm sure you've heard of it)  The best part is that it tastes good and everybody doesn't mind eating the super food.  It might not be the best thing for you if you have a stomach bug but quite frankly there is just nothing that is 'the best' when such things are in play.


Chicken and Ricotta Lasagna
serves 10

16 lasagna noodles (whole wheat is fine), cooked to al dente, drained and cooled slightly
4 cups cooked chicken, diced
1 small onion, diced
2 lg cloves garlic, crushed
2 1/2 cups mushrooms, quartered
5 cups kale, finely chopped
1 cup broth (chicken or vegetable) or wine
3 1/2 cups ricotta
1 cup cream cheese
1/2 cup soft goat cheese (chèvre)
2 tbsp worcestershire sauce
3 tbsp italian seasoning (or you can combine your own)
2 tbsp fresh lemon juice
2 tbsp honey
2 1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper
good dash of pepper sauce (optional)
1 egg
1cup grated parmesan
3 cups mozzarella cheese, grated
4 cups tomato sauce (I used my homemade stuff - anything you've got that is already seasoned is fine)

Preheat oven to 375°F
Heat a heavy bottomed dutch oven over medium heat.
Add about 3 tbsp of oil.
Add the onion and garlic, cooking until the onion is softening and turning golden.
Add the mushrooms and cook until they become soft.
Turn the heat down to low, add the kale and cover until the kale wilts.
Add the broth, ricotta, cream cheese, goat cheese, worcestershire, italian seasoning, lemon juice, honey, salt, pepper and pepper sauce (optional).  Mix well.
Add the chicken and mix well.
Add the egg and parmesan and mix well.
Take a large roasting pan and put enough tomato sauce in to just coat the bottom of the pan.
Line the pan with a layer of lasagna noodles.
Add a layer of the chicken mixture and then layer with about a half cup of tomato sauce and sprinkle with some mozzarella.
Continue layering it like this until everything has been used up, making sure to reserve enough mozzarella for the top.  If you have some extra parmesan then go ahead and sprinkle it on.
Bake for about 40 - 45 minutes or until the top is golden brown and the sides are bubbly.
Cool for about 15 minutes before slicing.

The first week of the next 10 months is squarely behind us all.  Thank Jeebus.  It felt like the starting gun went off and the race is on.  It won't stop now until June 2014.  Long race.  I went to the staff social on Friday after work.  This is newsworthy because I never go.  Nobody noticed because we were all too shell shocked to really converse with each other in any meaningful way.  No amount of alcohol could help us.
Kid #2 has added to his PTSD-inducing-non-stop-talking by way of making movies on my phone.  He sets up the phone on the couch so that it's at precisely the right angle to catch his moves (talking non-stop) and then records himself acting out some sword fight from something or other.  Full sound effects and stage worthy bow at the end.  Who says violent video games don't do damage.  He's done about 12 movies so far.  The only thing that changes is the lighting (afternoon into evening).  I have already deleted 6.
Kid #1 is happily walking into 'teen land' having started at a new school (an arts school which she had to audition for and we're very proud of her for getting accepted into).  We've been inundated with stories of new friends, new teachers (all of whom are epic apparently) and how today's dance class was... oh yeah, and can I take clarinet lessons (god... NO)
Huffington Post classified this piece as 'Weird News' but I don't think that there is anything weird about it.  In fact, I was thankful for the information and appreciated the commitment to education that the artist displays.  Be warned: There is audio that kicks in automatically (which I can't stand Huffington Post... Please make it my choice, Thank You) so if your kids aren't comfortable with the word 'clitoris' then think about volume.


First pay cheque day is not until the middle of the month which means we are still scrounging around and making whatever we can find in cupboards and the freezer.  Beans are my friend.  Orzo is cheap but looks classy.  Fortunately, being the end of summer means that vegetables are plentiful.  Also, fortunate that I haven't used everything in the freezer from last year.  I think that the very last thing will be soup with last years frozen green beans and broccoli along with whatever is dying in the crisper.  I would guess that this dish comes in at well under 10$ in total but don't quote me on that.  If it's not under 10$ then it's awfully damn close which is saying something when it makes that much food.


Corn, Zucchini and Tomato Orzo adapted from Eat to Thrive
serves 6-8

1 generous cup orzo, uncooked
1/2 cup onion
1 med/lg zucchini, thinly sliced
3 cups cremini or button mushroom, stems removed and quartered
1 cup corn kernels
1 can (about 400 ml) black beans, drained and rinsed
2 cups diced tomato (keep the juice)
3/4 cup vegetable broth
2 tsp honey
2 tsp salt
2 tsp chili powder
1 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp chipotle powder
1/2 tsp cardamom
1 cup cheddar cheese, shredded

Bring about 3 cups of water to a boil.  Add salt and then the orzo.  Cook until al dente (about 8 minutes).  Drain - reserving some liquid - and set aside.
Heat a heavy bottomed dutch oven or large pot over med heat.  Add about 2 tbsp oil.
Add the onion and the zucchini.  Cook for about 6 or 7 minutes, stirring regularly.
Add the mushrooms and cook for another 5 minutes - turn down the heat a bit if you need to.
Add in the corn kernels and drained black beans.  Mix well
Add the tomato with the juice, vegetable broth, honey, salt, chili powder, cumin, chipotle powder and cardamom.  Mix and simmer at med/low heat for a few minutes.
Turn the heat down to low and add in the cooked orzo - add a little bit of the pasta water - and mix well.
Add the cheddar cheese and mix.  Remove from heat, cover and allow the cheese to melt for about 5 minutes.
Serve.

I wrote in one of my recent posts about how difficult it was for me to talk about myself.  The immense trust that I need to feel in order to open up and how much easier it is to listen to other people and sympathize, offer advice or just simply listen.  I was struck again this week with it all when I received a request from a website called recipes.ca.
Recipes.ca is a site dedicated to canadians and their recipes.  You can join and add your own recipes, search for others and review the ones you've tried.  I add all of my recipes to the site and have thoroughly enjoyed being a part of it and even having my recipes featured.  Last week they contacted me about being a featured cook, a 'foodstar' in fact.  Being the diva that I am [not], I said 'yes' and 'thank you' and 'flattered' and got handed [read: sent] a list of questions that I had to fill out.  Frozen.  In my tracks.  I am completely and utterly paralyzed.
I read the questions and to be honest they are pretty standard.  But I might want to be funny here and there or think of something super cool or come up with something truly unique... like... what?  What's my favourite kitchen gadget?  What?  I don't know.  My perfect meal?  god, really?  I haven't ever thought about that.  Should the answer be Mother Theresa or something?  I feel like maybe there's a magic answer that I'm missing.
I haven't even started to type out my answers.  I have to send them a message and tell them I'm still working on it.  That I haven't forgotten about them.  Here's the kicker though - after I've typed out all my super awesome, insightful, witty, intelligent answers then I have to submit my favourite recipe.  Like I have a favourite recipe.  My favourite recipe is whatever one I'm making today.  Seriously.  I need to retool that in my brain as my 'go-to' recipe or something.  It's just not going to make sense for me otherwise and then I'll get totally stuck on that too.


This is segueing rather awkwardly to this stroganoff recipe.  In fact, the recipe has nothing to do with any of the recipes.ca stuff except I made it today.  You might know me well enough by now to know that I have a habit of loading veggies where they might not otherwise be.  Hence the addition of beets.  The beets should be golden or chiogga beets unless you want the stroganoff to be a deep red instead of a lovely dark orange colour.  I did not add tomato to this recipe because once I tasted it without the tomato paste I thought it was more than fine without it.  The lemon was essential for me and we all thought that having the stroganoff with crusty garlic bread was a novelty [read: kid #2 pretty much only ate the garlic bread].

The outdoor dinner: complete with towels for placemats (everything else is in the laundry) and stroganoff on the right.  p.s. radishes do, in fact, taste pretty good with cheese and bread

Beef and Beet Stroganoff adapted from Bon Appetit Magazine
serves 4 - 6

1 medium onion, thinly sliced
2 cups golden beets, ends cut off, peeled where necessary (where little roots are growing) and diced into 1 inch cubes
3 cloves garlic, crushed
1 lb Beef tips or stewing beef, sliced about 1/2 inch thick
4 cups mushrooms (I used button b/c that's what I had but cremini or wild would work well), thinly sliced
3 tbsp flour or corn starch
1 tsp salt
1 tbsp sugar
1 tbsp paprika
3/4 cup beef or vegetable broth (low sodium if possible)
1/4 cup sherry or white wine (optional: you can use extra broth instead)
1/4 cup cream
2 tbsp Worcestershire Sauce
squeeze of lemon juice

2 tbsp fresh dill, coarsely chopped
sour cream for dolloping
Crusty Bread

Heat a heavy bottomed dutch oven over medium heat.  Add about 2 - 3 tbsp of butter or oil.  Add the onion and beets and cook for about 5 minutes.  Turn the heat down to medium low and continue to cook for another 8 minutes or until the beets are just beginning to soften.
Add the garlic and continue to cook for another 3 - 4 minutes.  Add in the beef and mushrooms and continue to cook until the meet browns.
Add in the beef and mushrooms and continue to cook until the meat browns.
Add the flour or corn starch, salt, sugar and paprika and mix well.
Add in about a 1/4 cup broth to the pot to keep things from sticking.  Make sure the scrape the bottom of the pot so that everything that's sticking comes off and the flavour is retained.
Add the sherry, cream and Worcestershire. Stir well and check the taste.  Add the squeeze of lemon juice.  Simmer at very low heat for about 25 minutes or until the beets are completely soft.
Remove to a serving dish and sprinkle with fresh dill.
Dollop each serving with a little sour cream.
Serve with egg noodles or crusty garlic bread.

There are certain phrases that have been going through my head over and over again.  The big one has been: Stop waiting to not be afraid to do anything.  It's a weird phrase and I'm giving it to you exactly as I thought it.  I haven't tried to make it unweird at all.  I'm not exactly sure why it's been running on replay in my brain for the last while but there it is.
Dealing with being afraid has been a running theme throughout my life but then who doesn't have that?  We all deal with it in one way or another.  Fear is a big deal.  I don't buy that it's not a big deal.  Just because it's only an emotion doesn't mean it's not a big deal.  Just because it's not a physical wall in front of me or a huge monster blocking the road doesn't mean that it's not a big deal.  In fact, I think that it's more easy to be afraid than not.  And it's not always about being afraid of doing something or confronting something, I can also be afraid to say no or of doing nothing.
Having this phrase rolling through my head has given me some time to ponder, to turn it around and lift it up and look underneath it a bit.  I think that being a bit older has now given me a different perspective.  I find myself looking at situations where I'm terrified to confront or things which I'm afraid to admit and I think about how I'm going to feel after I do it.  I experienced a situation recently which in the scheme of life was pretty small but I went ahead and did what I needed to do even though I could hardly swallow and my hands were shaking.  Sure, there was a desired outcome - a kind of 'ideal situation' thing (which didn't happen incidentally) - but I knew that I had to do it because I would be so disappointed with myself if I didn't.  After I did it.  After I said what I wanted to say (which was brief ie.  really no big deal) I had what was probably one of the best nights I've had in a while.  I felt so good for just doing it.  So good that the outcome didn't matter nearly as much as I thought it would.  I didn't feel like all I was made of was chicken s$#@.
That, my Peeps, makes me think about the bigger things.  Is it possible that those bigger things that I'm terrified might work the same way.  If I look those bad boys in the face (and be so scared that I possibly have an accident on the spot) how good will I feel afterwards.  How proud of myself will I be?  Will it matter whether the outcome was the one I was looking for?  It feels good to be proud of yourself.  I know this already from performing.  When you've done the work, when you know it's good and you have something to say and get up there and you say it... even though you're scared.  It feels great.  I never thought about how that could transfer into the other areas of my life.  I've got some thinking to do now.


This, of course, has nothing to do with the recipe here... or maybe it does, I'm not sure.  I got some fiddleheads this past week along with some ramps and stinging nettles.  I love fiddleheads but decided not to stress out about making them into some kind of thing in which they are the only star of the show. I just wanted to eat them.  So I made this.  I had mine on top of some salad greens because it just made sense to me at the time but you certainly don't have to do that.  Adding the saffron and the chipotle powder changed the whole dish and I liked where it went.


Spicy Fiddlehead Orzo
serves 6 - 8

1/2 cup onion, diced
1 cup mushrooms, halved
4 cups fiddleheads
4 cloves garlic, crushed
3/4 lb (about 2 cups) ground pork, lamb or seasoned tempeh
1 1/4 cup orzo (uncooked)
3 cups veggie or chicken broth
1/2 cup wine (white or red - whatever you have around)
1/2 tsp each - basil, oregano, parsley
1/2 tsp saffron
1/2 tsp chipotle powder
2 tsp chili powder
2 tsp honey
1 1/2 tsp salt (to taste)

Heat a large, heavy bottomed pot over medium heat.
Add about 3 tbsp of oil or grease.
Add the onion and mushrooms and cook for about 4 minutes.
Turn the heat down to med/low and add the fiddleheads and garlic.  Cook together for about 3 minutes.
Add in the ground meat or tempeh and cook for another 4 minutes.  Stir when necessary to keep from sticking to the bottom.
Add the orzo and stir until the orzo is mixed well and coated with oil.
Add in the broth and stir well.
Add in the wine, herbs, saffron, chipotle powder, chili powder and honey.  Stir well.
Turn the heat down to low and cover the pot.
Cook for about 30 minutes or until the orzo has cooked through.
Taste and add salt if needed.
Serve.

I went to my first professional basketball game this week and I was totally... BORED.  It may have had something to do with the fact that I had been working my ass off for the entire day because we were the choir singing the national anthems at the games.  It might have had something to do with me not sleeping well for a couple of nights prior to the game.  It might also just be that I'm not into that kind of thing.  The only game I seem to find any pleasure at all in watching is soccer (known as football by the rest of the world) and even that is pushing it.
It got me thinking about how bored I got watching baseball and even (dare I say it) hockey.  The weird thing is that I do like sports.  I even think of myself as somewhat athletic.  So much so that I wonder if the current 'Me' went back to high school now 'Me' might consider trying out for volleyball or track or something.  That's saying something.  What I find when I'm watching a game from the stands of these huge arena's is that I am so far removed from the game itself, it's so far away, that I don't invest.  I'm not connected to it at all.  There are so many people watching and we're all so far away and it starts and stops so much and so many of us are moving around and talking and leaving to pee and going to buy junk food that I can't focus.  There is the constant drone of the announcer and the lights flashing on the jumbotron.  It's too much for me.
And then I don't know the game well and I certainly don't know the players.  I'm out there at Centre Court for sound check with the players all warming up around us and watching our high school boys freaking out and thinking that this would probably be pretty meaningful if I had a clue who these guys were.  It seemed funny to me.  The highlight of the night was seeing that a well known Canadian actress was sitting court side (they gave her some flowers and a stuffed mascot toy - we could only see it on the jumbotron).  Realising that this was the highlight for me pretty much sealed it.  Yup - I'm not meant for this kind of stuff.


So if you were thinking about buying some season's tickets for a hockey/soccer/basketball/baseball team in the city you might want to reconsider.  I'd be pretty happy that you thought of me and might feel a sense of obligation to attend some of those games just because you spent the money on me but I wouldn't enjoy it much.  I really enjoyed the moment when D and I realised we just wanted to leave early and go home for a beer... which is exactly what we did.



This, of course, has nothing to do with the recipe that you will find below.  That's because there is no cool story for this recipe.  This recipe isn't really glamorous or cool.  It's just good and kinda healthy because it's using cooked cauliflower in place of the flour.  I don't know, maybe that is kinda cool.


Cauliflower Alfredo Sauce adapted from 'cupcakes and kale'
makes about 4 cups of sauce

3 1/2 cups cauliflower pieces
1 cup onion, sliced
4 med cloves garlic
1 can (about 1 cup) white beans, drained and rinsed
1 cup cream
3/4 cups milk
2 tsp salt
2 boullion cubes
1/2 tsp paprika
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp honey
1/2 - 3/4 cup parmesan cheese, grated

4 cups cooked pasta of choice (I used cooked penne)
4 cups veggies - I used greens (kale and chard mixture) - steamed until wilted or softened
3 slices of bacon (optional), diced
1 1/2 cups mushrooms, halved
1/3 cup walnuts, coarsely chopped

Bring a large, heavy bottomed pot to a boil with about 3/4 cup of water (approx).  Add in the cauliflower pieces, turn the heat down to med/low and cover.  Cook for about 15 - 20 minutes or until the cauliflower is softened and mashable.  Drain and set aside.
In a large dutch oven or heavy bottomed pot heat about 3 tbsp of oil over medium heat.  Add in the onion and cook for about 4 minutes.  Add in the garlic and cook for about 3 minutes together.  Add in the white beans.  Turn the heat down to low.
Add the cauliflower, milk and stir well.  Using a hand blender or pouring the whole thing into a regular blender, puree until the whole thing forms a sauce consistency.  Making it as smooth and consistent as possible.
Add in the cream, salt, boullion, paprika, nutmeg, honey and parmesan.  Mix until the parmesan has melted in.  Check the tastes and adjust if necessary.

To make the casserole:
Heat a large frying pan over medium heat and add the bacon.  Cook about two minutes or until just beginning to get brown.  Add in the mushrooms (and the greens if you don't want to steam them) and cook for about 4 minutes.
Combine the cooked pasta with the bacon and veggie mixture.  Toss to combine and pour into a large baking dish or serving bowl.
Pour the sauce over the pasta mixture and stir well.
Sprinkle with a little additional parmesan and the chopped walnuts.
serve.

True Story: Tomorrow I report for Jury Duty Selection.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do with that.  I don't know what it even means really.  I've spoken with some people who showed up, were present for about 4 hrs and then were sent home 'Thank You Very Much'.  Others I've talked to have been there for a few days.  Others have gotten selected for trials that are months down the road.
Everyone has some advice on what to say during the interview - not even sure how much of an interview it is - or what not to say.  One person told me that it was a wonderful life experience for her friend (not she, herself) and that this could be an enriching moment for me.  I'll get back to you on that one.  I suspect that the reality will be quite boring, the interview may be more about whether the judge thinks my eyes are too close together or my nose too small than it will be about my character.  So after some thought I've decided on some things that I'm definitely not going to do:
1.  Pretend that I don't speak english.
2.  Ask whether I can take my medication while being seated in the jury box.
3.  Ask the judge if he's single.
4.  Pretend I voted for the Rhino party if asked my political affiliation.
5.  Wear a shirt which makes my tattoo visible.
6.  Offer to communicate with deceased relatives of the judge.

What I will do:
1.  Answer questions honestly.
2.  Bring a book.
3.  Not turn off my cell phone.
4.  Bring a lunch with me.
5.  Do whatever I need to do to make sure that I don't start to panic.



I'm not sure what's doin' this week as a result of everything above.  I've cooked up a storm to make sure that we have lots hanging around just in case.  Today I've made bread, ginger cookies with white chocolate, creamy orzo with roasted butternut squash and this.  This is something that I expected to be creamed veggies topped with a layer of crusty polenta.  What happened in real life is that the whole thing kinda baked into one thing.  What I might do if I try this concoction again is sauté slices of the polenta on each side before placing on top of the veggies.  I think that this might keep it from becoming part of the creamy stuff.  Not sure though.  Did it taste good?  Yup.  So the texture itself didn't deter the taste at all and the idea is a good one.  Just needs some adjusting.  The topping: Parmesan and chopped nuts made it for me.  This is a great dish to take for leftover lunches or to take to a pot luck kind of situation.  It easily makes a lot and it's pretty standard comfort food fare.

Kid #2 went to a cupcake decorating birthday party today and wanted me to add his creation to the  blog post.

Creamed Vegetables with Polenta Crust adapted from 'Simple Bites'
serves 6

1 1/2 cups Leeks, cleaned and sliced
2 cups mushrooms, quartered
3 cups chard leaves and stems, coarsely chopped
2 1/2 cups milk, warm
4 tbsp butter
1/3 cup all purpose flour
2 tsp salt
1 tbsp Worcestershire Sauce
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 cup heavy cream
1 cup cheddar, shredded

1 1/2 cups coarse polenta (cornmeal)
6 cups stock (I used water with 'no salt' vegetable bouillon cubes added)
2 tsp salt
2 tbsp butter

1/3 cup parmesan cheese, grated
1/4 cup chopped nuts

For Polenta:
Bring the stock to a boil in a med/large heavy bottomed pot.  Turn the heat down to medium/low.
Add in the cornmeal and whisk continuously. Continue to cook, whisking regularly, for about 30 minutes.
Once the the cornmeal has thickened nicely add in the salt and butter.  Stir to mix.  Pour onto a baking sheet lined with parchment or a silicon liner and spread the polenta out evenly.  Refrigerate until it firms up to be sliceable - it will keep for 2 or 3 days.
For the Sauce:
Heat a heavy bottomed pot over medium heat.
Add in the butter, letting it melt completely.  Once the butter is melted and heated add in the flour and whisk it into the butter.  Continue for a minute or two.  Add in the warmed milk slowly, whisking constantly.  Once all the milk is added and there are no lumps, bring it to a slow boil and whisk until it thickens (should not take long).  Once thickened, turn the heat down to low and add in the salt, Worcestershire, nutmeg, cream  and cheddar.  Once the cheddar has melted in take the sauce off the stove.
Preheat oven to 350°F.
Butter a 9x13 inch baking dish.
Throw the vegetables - all of them - in the bottom of the baking dish.
Pour the Sauce over the vegetables.
Cut the polenta into rectangles to fit on top of the vegetables.
Top with a little extra shredded cheddar.
Bake for about 40 - 45 minutes or until the top is bubbly and turning golden brown.
Before serving sprinkle the casserole with the freshly grated parmesan and the chopped nuts.

And just like that the holidays are over and it's back to normal and I for one am so happy to be going back.  In the winter we all get a little stir crazy being inside.   Oh I wish that I were more adventurous as a parent, sure.  I watch with awe and wonder at the parents schlepping their kids here, there and everywhere in pursuit of happiness and fun.  I'm not that parent.  I'm the parent letting their kid have a cookie at 10:30 a.m. because it's the holidays.  I'm the parent letting their kid stay in pyjamas all day and doing movie marathons.  I'm the parent who might not even say a word to her kids for 2 or 3 hours because your all off in a different room... maybe napping.  I'm not out snowshoeing.  I'm not out at the mall.  We are not skating.

Note: Them - Outside/Me - Inside... maybe napping

With that in mind, we've all had a ton of relaxation and down time and are ready to brave the rest of the winter and get back to a routine.  My Christmas ham is getting it's final send-off by going  bone and all into split-pea soup.  The wine is drunk.  The champagne bottles are empty.  Birthdays have been celebrated.  Mother-in-laws have been moved.  Gingerbread houses have been decimated.  We are having our last holiday visitors over today... the tree is gone (thank god - goodbye) and the alarm clock is set for tomorrow.
Things go back to normal.  Back to waking up before the sun gets up.  Back to listening to CBC 'Metro Morning' which ends at 8:30 a.m. so I don't think I need to explain why I didn't listen over the holidays.  Back to being the lessons and classes taxi service.  Back to really listening to news and reading the papers.  A return to my normal cynicism around the politics of change as opposed to the politics for theatre.  And hence, back to my regular frustration.  It's back to piano practice and homework after school and cleaning out lunch kits.
And finally, it's back to the comfort of the everyday and food that can be transported for lunches or work well as leftovers.  Enter: Squash.


Squash - that stuff I hated when I was a kid.  Squash - the stuff I only knew as a thing that you cut in half, de-seeded (never done by me mind you) and roasted with sugar and butter.  Sometimes it was bearable and other times it was the WORST.  Squash - the food that you tolerated for dinner and hoped that something better (like taco's or spaghetti from a can) was coming tomorrow.  Squash - the dinner guest that I discovered would come out of my brother's nose if I got him to laugh hard enough.  Squash - the stuff that I thought only came in dark green acorn and bright orange pumpkin.  Squash - the food that I would never in a million years have guessed could make a rather nice sweet loaf... seriously, who knew that one.
Now, squash has become synonymous with comfort food for me.  Roast that squash and it further transforms into amazing.  Put it with some sausage, greens and cream and you've got winter heaven in a bowl.  Honestly I don't need to eat this with anything else but it does go nicely with some pasta and would do well with rice or something like it as well.


Squash and Sausage Pasta Sauce
serves 6

3 cups butternut squash (or other winter squash), peeled, deseeded and cubed
1 cup onion
3 cloves garlic
1 1/2 cup mushrooms
3 cups curly Kale, diced
1 lb sausage, (I used Honey, Garlic) uncooked and thinly sliced
1 cup vegetable or chicken broth
1 1/2 - 2 cups cream
2 tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp paprika
1 1/2 tsp nutmeg
2 tsp salt
2 tsp italian seasoning
2 tbsp honey
4 - 5 cups rotini or penne pasta cooked to al dente, drained and set aside

Preheat oven to 375°F.
Line a baking sheet.  Toss the butternut squash in melted lard or olive oil.  Place on the baking sheet and roast for about 40 minutes (if it looks ready after 30 minutes in your oven take it out then).  Set aside.
Heat a large wok or dutch oven over medium heat.   Add 2 - 3 tbsp of lard or oil.  Add in the onion and cook for about 4 minutes.  Add in the sausage and garlic and cook together another 5 minutes.  Turn the heat down to med/low and add the mushrooms and kale.  Cook together for another 5 - 7 minutes (the kale should be fully wilted at that point).  Add in the roasted squash and mix.  Add in the paprika, nutmeg, salt, italian seasoning and honey.  Mix well.  Add in the broth, lemon juice and cream. Check the taste and adjust if necessary (I might add in a little heat for example).
At this point you can remove the sauce from the heat and add it to the pasta, mix well and serve OR plate the pasta and add the sauce over top on each plate.

I can't find words for how much I want to bake RIGHT NOW.  I really can't find them.  'Itching' doesn't come close.  'Desperate' - nope, that's not it.  'Obsessing'... now that's getting closer.  I was seriously contemplating calling in sick just so that I could stay home and bake for the day.  The thought of kids being at school and having the house to myself, to play loud music, drink red wine and get flour all over me was hard to resist.  But I did resist.  Doesn't mean that I'm not still obsessing.  I've got visions of dark, dark, dark chocolate cake, s'mores cookies, ginger-carrot cupcakes and lemon loaf with sugar crackle topping going through my head almost all of the time.
Unfortunately, there is no time this week to get into any baking projects.  This is probably a good thing at the end of the day but its not helping my mood.  We now have a houseful of candy as well.  From Hallowe'en.  Ugh - crappy candy right.  To make the pile even bigger, the weather was so disagreeable here in Toronto that there weren't many kids out trick or treating and so almost many places were handing out larger quantities of candy in order to get rid of it all.  The kids appreciated it.


For Hallowe'en we always leave something simmering slowly and quietly on the stove while we trick or treat and then come back and eat it later.  Usually this quiet, simmering thing is usually chili.  I did in fact make a kickin' chili but I was hankering for something else as well... and as I've already mentioned, I didn't have time for the baking 'hanker'.


So, in honour of my first cabbage of the season, I pulled out the bacon and things just came together from there.  This is so easy I feel kind of lame putting it out here.  It tastes so good though that you'll understand exactly why I did.  I should add that this is my first parsnip haul of the season as well and it should be noted that here, at the end of October, marks me finally and fully embracing a new season.  Braised until it melts in your mouth, caramelised onion and chewy bacon.  Makes you want to curl up on the couch with a blanket, a glass of wine, a magazine and a good movie... and a snuggler.  In fact, once the kids were in bed, that's exactly what I did.  Baking be damned.


Braised Cabbage with Bacon and Mushrooms
serves 4

5 cups cabbage cut into 2 inch slices (i.e. thick)
1/2 cup onion, diced
4 - 5 slices of bacon, diced
2 small parsnips, thinly sliced
2 - 3 cups mushrooms (I used button for this), halved
3 tbsp soy sauce or tamari
2 tbsp honey

Heat a large, heavy bottomed pot over medium heat.
Add in 2 tbsp of oil and the bacon.  Cook for just a minute then add in the onion.  Cook for about 3 - 4 minutes.  Turn the heat down to med/low and add in the cabbage and the parsnips.  Cook together for another 5 - 7 minutes or until the cabbage begins to soften.
Add the mushrooms and soy sauce or tamari.  Stir well.
Turn the heat down a little again and let things simmer quietly for about 15 minutes.
Add in the honey and check the taste.  Adjust if necessary.
Serve.

The fall is here and you know it for sure when you get a bunch of sage and a butternut squash in your kitchen.  I'm not sure how I feel about fall just yet and to be honest I haven't given myself the time to think about it.  What matters most to me in the moment is how I deal with the food that the season brings me.


Butternut squash.  I've said it many times throughout numerous blog posts just how challenged I feel by winter veggies.  I'm sure that I'm not alone.  We've all (at least in North America) been programmed to eat our '5 a day' fruit and veggies.  How the hell are you gonna do that in the middle of winter?  In fact, in my part of the world it's impossible to do that for most of the year.  Answer: ship it in.  From Brazil, Honduras, Chile... wherever.  Ship it all in.  Blueberries fresh from... Argentina.  Strawberries fresh from Venezuela.  Tomatoes fresh from California.  You get the picture.  Tearing yourself away from that isn't easy and we allow ourselves a little 'treat' once in a while.  Most of the time though our fruit is of the home canned variety or over-wintered apples and pears.  Veggies are harder though.  I've got a freezer full of summer vegetables that have been par-boiled and flash frozen but it's not enough to get me through.  So I made a decision last year to get friendly with winter vegetables.  The kind we've all forgotten about (or purposely obliterated from our memory).  Last year I made a good dent in my mission.  I got really well acquainted with cabbage and turnip and rutabaga.  This year I want to get squash and celeriac into my life.  The best part of the mission is that it's good for you.  I mean really good for you.  All those root veggies are packed with good stuff.


This recipe is my first 'fall' try.  I'll be honest with you, I didn't love it.  I browned the butter a little too long and it kinda turned black and then when I added it to the flour to make the béchamel it turned grey.  Ick.  Then the butternut stuff got too gloopy and I really didn't have enough time to make it all into the kind of food magic that I was hoping for.  The fam have been eating this with no problem.  I'm still wrapping my head around it.  I still like it in principle and I want to try it out again making some variations before I give up on the idea completely.  I've made a couple of changes to the recipe already and have reflected them below.  I toyed with the idea of not posting this at all but I think that in the spirit of what I do 'When I'm not at Work' and also desperately needing to get another post out there, it was important for this one to be here.  I'm hoping that you get inspired and write to me with some things for me to start making.  Fall, Here We Come.


Butternut Squash Lasagna Roll-Ups adapted from "How Sweet It Is'
serves 6 - 8

12 - 14 lasagna noodles, cooked al dente
3lb butternut squash, peeled, de-seeded and cut into chunks
olive oil
3/4 cup onion, sliced
3 - 4 cups mushrooms (the wilder the better) sliced
2 cups (about 3 large leaves) Kale, chopped
1/4 cup sage, coarsely chopped
1/4 cup cream
1 tsp salt
1 cup (200 g) goat cheese

Bechamel:
12 sage leaves
6 tbsp butter
6 tbsp flour
3 3/4 - 4 cups warm milk
1 veggie boullion cube
1 1/2 tsp salt
2 tbsp honey
1 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp ginger
2 tsp pepper sauce

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Butter a large, high sided baking dish and set aside.
Toss the chunks of squash in enough olive oil so that everything is nicely coated.  Place on a baking sheet and roast for about 40 minutes or until nicely browned on the outside and very soft.  Remove from the oven and set aside.
Meanwhile:
In a heavy bottomed saucepan heat the butter over medium heat and add in the sage leaves.  Cook the sage in the butter just until they start to get crispy then remove them and set them aside.  Add the flour to the butter and whisk until it forms a paste.  Slowly add in the warm milk, whisking continuously, until all the milk has been added.  Continue to whisk over med/low heat until the liquid starts to thicken.  Then add in the boullion cube, salt, honey, nutmeg, ginger and pepper sauce.  Check the taste and adjust if necessary.  Set aside.
Heat a large pan and saute the onion and mushrooms in a bit of olive oil until both are soft and the onion is beginning to brown.  Add in the kale and sage and cook just until the kale has wilted.
Place the butternut squash in a bowl and mash (or use a hand blender) until it's completely mushy.  Add in the sautéed onion mixture and mix well.  Add in the cream and salt and mix.  Check the taste and adjust if necessary.
Put a little bit of the béchamel sauce in the bottom of the baking dish.
Take a lasagna noodle and spread it with 4 tbsp (or so) of the squash mixture.  Sprinkle a little of the goat cheese on that.  Roll up the lasagna noodle.  Place the noodle sideways in the baking dish.  Continue until all of the squash mixture is finished.
Pour the rest of the béchamel over the noodles.  Sprinkle the top with the crispy sage leaves that were set aside.
Bake for 30 - 35 minutes or until golden and bubble on top.
Let it rest for about 15 - 20 minutes before serving.