Trust me, we are not even close to the end of our turkey leftover adventures but from here on out I'm going to have to space things out a bit because we're all getting a little edgy about it.  There's more grumbling and whining happening for sure and now that there is also hallowe'en candy to sneak attack, we're eating more of that than the healthy stuff.  Who can blame all of us really.  I cringe a little every time I look at those bags in the freezer.  My brain hurts when I try to think of some new and wonderful thing to make with the stuff.  I made cauliflower, broccoli soup with some of the turkey broth but held myself back from throwing in some shredded turkey as well.  I feared absolute mutiny.


Last weekend I made these meatballs because I thought - Who is going to turn their nose up at meatballs.  Nobody did.  They gobbled - I had to hold them back... until I put them in the sauce.  The sauce for me was the best part but for the rest (especially Kid#1 and #2) these meatballs were much more enjoyable on their own.  What would that make them?  Appetizer.  How do you make plain meatballs part of a meal?  I'm not sure if that even registers for me.  I don't understand it.  I need sauce to feel like a whole person.  Without the sauce each kid ate at least 5 meatballs as soon as they were cool enough not to burn their mouths.  They didn't eat any dinner after that.  I guess that you could try these without the sauce and see if you like it enough to eat them all (it makes a lot) without any help OR you could also make the sauce and add only if necessary.  The sauce was nice enough for me to eat on it's own but whatever, kids have a weird sense of taste... or else I do.

The Meatballs free of any 'icky' sauce

In other news, I tried curling yesterday.  Curling is weird.  A weird Canadian sporting activity that originated in Scotland.  Not as weird as Cricket however.  Considering you have to slide a 40 lb granite ball along pebbly ice and hope to god that it lands somewhere in the vicinity of the bulls-eye at the other end of the rink and doesn't hit someone's foot or make it's way into someone else's game along the way, it's a pretty uptight sport.  Again, embarrassment has never phased me much so a couple of full on face plants on the ice didn't deter me.  After figuring out that my butt needs to stick up in the air more things generally got a whole lot better.  Any game that requires such vigorous butt raising can't be all bad.  I would do it again but only if there was the promise of an evening of alcohol in a very warm place afterwards... and I could play with some interesting butts.
I'm trying very very hard not to get all out of joint with our current Mayoral Bull*&%t but I'm finding it hard not to feel a little depressed about it.  If you haven't heard about it then count yourself lucky and I'm not going to fill you in on the details.  Besides, you can get the basics here.  Have a Happy Weekend.



Turkey Meatballs in Tomato Sauce
serves 6

Meatballs:
3 - 4 cup cooked turkey, diced small (I used the giblets too)
3 small cloves garlic, diced
1/4 cup onion, diced small
1 tsp salt
3 tbsp italian seasoning
2 tbsp worcestershire sauce
1 tsp pepper sauce
1 tbsp soy sauce
1 tsp dijon mustard
1 veggie bouillon cube
3/4 cup ricotta
3/4 cup bread crumbs
1/4 cup parmesan cheese, shredded
1 lg egg
2 tbsp oil

Tomato Sauce
1 med leek, sliced
2 red or green peppers, thinly sliced
2 med cloves garlic
5 - 6 leaves lacinato kale (or any green really)
3 cups tomato, diced
2 tbsp worcestershire
1/2 cup red wine or water
1 tbsp italian seasoning (or a mix of dried herbs)
1 heaping tbsp brown sugar or honey
1 1/2 tsp salt
1/4 cup tomato paste
dash of pepper
dash of pepper sauce (optional)
1/2 cup parmesan cheese, shredded

Meatballs:
Preheat oven to 350°F
Line a baking sheet with parchment or a silicon liner and set aside.
Use a blender or a food processor (much easier - I had to stop the blender every few seconds, stir everything and pulse again.  Stop. Repeat. Bored) pulse the turkey until it resembles the texture of mush.  Add the garlic, onion, salt, italian seasoning, worcestershire, pepper sauce, soy sauce, dijon mustard and bouillon cube to the mixture and pulse again and again until it's all mixed in.
Pour into a bowl.
Add the ricotta, bread crumbs, parmesan cheese, egg and oil.
Get your fingers in there and finger it all together, through your fingers and mix it all together.  Mix until everything is well blended.
Shape a large spoonful into a meatball and place on the prepared baking sheet.  Once all of the meatballs are ready, bake for about 25 minutes or until golden and the bottoms are brown.
Remove the oven and set aside.

Tomato Sauce:
Heat a heavy bottomed pot over med heat.
Add about 3 tbsp of grease or oil.  Heat it for a minute.
Add the leeks, peppers and garlic.  Turn the heat down to med/low and let it sweat together for about 12 minutes or so.
Add in the diced tomato, worcestershire, wine, brown sugar, salt and tomato paste.
Simmer over med/low heat for another 15 minutes.  It will cook down quite a bit.
Add the kale, pepper, pepper sauce and parmesan.
Let it cook for about 5 minutes or until the kale is wilted.
Add in the meatballs and remove from heat.

Serve with egg noodles, mashed potatoes or regular pasta.

We are in the middle of a delicious heat wave in Toronto.  Oh sure, it's not my favourite thing but I'm damned if you find me complaining about it because before we all know it I'll be jumping on my bike in the middle of December cursing the cold and trying desperately to remember what it felt like to have the skin melted off of my bones.  Not one complaint.
There are however, some challenges when houses are built to keep in the heat rather than keeping cool.  We've managed to keep the air conditioning off during the day and use it only at night to ensure that we sleep and to cool the house down just enough for the next day.  Food becomes difficult though.  How do you eat and not heat up the whole house.  Canning hasn't even begun.  I can't imagine doing water bath canning in this heat.  I see all kinds of posts for jam and that kind of thing and I wonder where these people live.  My fruit is chilling out in the freezer.  Baking is absolutely out of the question.  We're not big BBQr's but we've resorted a time or two.  I've been working to come up with some things that we can eat and feel satisfied with but aren't just salads (which no one except me would eat anyway).
This is one of the things that I 'created'.  Almost no cooking required.  Just the couscous which is so barely cooking that it's hardly worth mentioning.


In other challenges...
Here is the food box contents for this week.  Decidedly green but a couple of colourful additions just to get my hopes up.



I am trying valiantly to not lose it in my own house but I swear if I here 'Hey Mom?' or 'Mooooom!' one more time... I just want to have space in my house to do my own thing.  I won't get into serious specifics but there comes a time in every day where I would like them to disappear to their rooms for the duration.  Oh to be able to watch a crappy movie or some trashy show with no questions.  To be able to eat some chips... or a whole bag... without anyone else asking to have some.  To get through the day without Kid #1 asking for money to do something with her friends and then trying to figure out what she can do to earn the money.  It's been all I can do to get them through two meals a day (they usually but not always take care of their own breakfast - thank jeebus)  Sometimes I just retreat to my room and just lie there on my bed with the fan going.  I've discovered that if the fan is going and I close the door then I can almost not hear anything downstairs.

Due to the heat I am working on shifting gears with my workout routine.  Running is a definite challenge in this weather but not just because of heat.  The air quality is more of an issue than heat.  Early morning or late evening are the only times when running for any distance is a possibility because it quickly becomes uncomfortable or even difficult to breathe.  Anything during daytime/rush hour times are that much worse because of the vehicle emissions as well as the temperature.  Fortunately up to now I've been able to find a day during the week that isn't sweltering in order to get my long run in.  The best news is that I'm up to 11k and no pain in either my foot or in my shin.


Corn, Black Bean and Couscous Tortilla's adapted from Food.com
makes 8 - 10 tortilla's

2 cups cooked couscous
1/3 cup onion, diced
1 cup (1 lg) red pepper, diced
1 lg can (1 1/2 cups) black beans, drained
1 1/2 cups corn (roasted would be nice but not necessary)
3 - 4 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp lemon or lime juice
1 tsp cumin
1 1/2 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp chipotle powder
1 1/2 tsp salt
dash of sugar

Combine diced onion and peppers together.  Add in the black beans and corn.  Mix well.
Add the olive oil, lemon juice, cumin, chili powder, chipotle powder, salt and dash of sugar.  Mix well. Add the cooked couscous and mix.  [Couscous - add 1 3/4 cups boiling water to 1 cup of dry couscous.  Cover and set aside for about 5 - 10 minutes (or whenever you need it).  Break it up with a fork and you're good to go]
Add it as filling to tortilla shells - a little cheese, sour cream, thinly sliced radishes and garlic scape sauce.

Garlic Scape Taco Sauce adapted from My Kitchen Addicition
makes about 1 - 1 1/2 cups

4 cups garlic scapes, diced very small
2 jalepeno pepper, seeded (optional depending on how hot you want it) and diced
3 tbsp lemon juice
2 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp lemon zest
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp sugar
1/3 - 1/2 cup water

Throw everything in a blender (start with just 1/3 cup of water though) and blend until it forms a thick paste - add a little more water to thin out as necessary.  I started the blender on chop and gradually worked up to liquify.

I know what you're thinking - 'Where's that chick pea salad that Wanda keeps promising on and not delivering'  See I knew that I knew what you were thinking because we're all so into salad with chickpeas and feta and parsley that we can't get enough.  Don't worry, I made it and it's coming down the pipe.  I've been eating it for lunch and literally feeling years peel off of me and my entire system simultaneously undergo a cleanse.  Not really.
I made ice cream.  Again.  It's weird stuff... even for me.  D HATES it... absolutely, utterly, profoundly.  HATE.  Kid #1 likes it.  Not absolutely, utterly or profoundly but she likes it.  I am in like with it.  Not love - I don't love easily... anyone or anything.  I can tell you that I used a cream cheese that was almost homemade and therefor a little lumpy.  I think that regular 'cream' cheese would do the trick for me.  The rhubarb crap is essential.

Notice the lumpy looking cream cheese in the top right corner.

So with that taken care of...  I'm thinking about high maintenance lately.  Like how in the summer my yard and garden are high maintenance and how I'm not dealing well with it because I still haven't planted a lot of the crap that I should have by now and I've only cut my grass twice so far.  (Yeah, I do know that's a run on sentence) Also, I think that I get fussy and high maintenance mixed up.  What's the diff between fussing with my hair and being high maintenance about my hair (this issue doesn't really apply to me personally in any way)  Or think about eating.  If I'm a fussy eater then I'm probably pretty high maintenance with food.  I think that maybe the two words are synonym's.  I've always thought of both words having a negative connotation but maybe they don't.  Maybe not being high maintenance is just another way of saying boring.
Kids are high maintenance and sometimes fussy too but then they grow out of that, right?  Kids who aren't a little fussy can be way too passive.  I'm guessing that a high maintenance friend would be super demanding about stuff that I probably wouldn't care about but maybe that's just what I need.  Mightn't I get bored if my friends just went along compliantly with whatever I suggested or offered.  My friends have come to terms with my high maintenance idiosyncrasies.  Things like my crippling inability to come up with a decent gift... unless you spell it out for me i.e. 'my favourite thing in the world is grey socks' or my utter indifference around make-up (a colleague is working endlessly to get me to straighten my hair.... why?), my embarrassing biking clothes, the difficulty I have listening to music whilst having a conversation and my obsession to get my friends moving more.  Damn - maybe that makes me high maintenance.


I feel very uncomfortable right now so I'm going to head back to the subject of food.  This recipe is a little high maintenance.  Custard - finicky/fussy, contains egg yolks that will curdle if handled carelessly.  Custard has to cool for a good long time.  Rhubarb sauce - needs to simmer gently down for almost an hour then it has to cool.  You have to stir it to keep it from sticking, i.e. constant attention.  Then the custard has to turn into ice cream and then you add the cream cheese and then you layer everything and then you freeze it some more and then you thaw it a little and then you eat it.  Definitely high maintenance from beginning to end but on the flip side it's not hard and it's definitely worth it.  It might be just what you need.



Strawberry, Rhubarb Cheesecake Ice Cream adapted from kokocooks
makes about 1 litre

Ice Cream:
1 1/2 cups heavy cream
1 cup milk
1 scant cup sugar
1 vanilla bean or 1 tsp vanilla bean paste or 1 tsp vanilla
4 egg yolks, lightly whisked

1 cup  cream cheese (not light or whipped cream cheese)

Rhubarb/Strawberry Sauce:
3 cups rhubarb, coarsely chopped
1 cup strawberries, hulled and quartered
1/2 cup sugar
1 vanilla bean (insides scooped out)
1 tsp lemon juice

For the custard:
Heat a heavy bottomed saucepan over medium/low heat.
Add the sugar, cream and milk and whisk together until the sugar dissolves.
Cut the vanilla bean down the side and split it open using the blunt side of a knife.  Run the knife through the inside of the bean to extract all of the little bean thingies (! - I don't know what they're called really).  Throw everything in with the cream mixture.  Turn the heat up just a little.
Have the egg yolks ready.
Once the mixture is almost to a simmer turn down the heat to low.
Using a ladle, slowly add a little of the cream mixture to the egg yolks, whisking constantly.  Once you've added about 2 ladles worth to the yolks then pour the yolks back in to the cream mixture.  Continue whisking and turn the heat up just a little.
Once the mixture coats a wooden spoon such that if you run your finger through the back of the spoon the finger line doesn't run together then you can remove the mixture from the heat.
Pour the mixture through a sieve and into a bowl.  Cover with cling film, placing the cling film right onto the custard mixture so that no custard is touching air.
Refrigerate for at least 4 - 5 hrs and preferably overnight.

For the Sauce:
Combine the rhubarb, strawberries, sugar, scooped out part of the vanilla and lemon juice in a heavy bottomed saucepan.
Heat over medium heat until the mixture comes to a simmer and turn the heat down to low.  Stir occasionally to keep from sticking.  Simmer for about 45 - 55 min at low heat or until the mixture begins to thicken.
Cool completely.

To combine:
Churn the custard into an ice cream maker according the the machine directions.  Once the custard has almost set but is still soft, add in the cream cheese a tbsp at a time - continue churning.
In a large container spoon a thin layer (1/2 inch or so) of the rhubarb mixture on the bottom, cover with about 3 inches of ice cream and continue to alternate the layers, ending with rhubarb.
Freeze for a few hours.
Thaw for a few minutes to soften before serving.

It's been a week in which some very nice and kind things happened to me.
My favourite crossing guard lady told me I was beautiful.  Again.  Heart.
I volunteer to do cooking club at school and two of my Gr 12 helpers told me to that they would take care of all the clean up so that I could head home.  Kind and adorable.  Heart.
My Best Friend brought me some green sprout kinda things and dropped them for me at school.  Heart.
One of the same Gr 12 boys heard that I had forgotten to bring my lunch and brought me some of his homemade potato cakes... with sour cream on the side.  Yup.  Heart.

These are a couple of the things that we made during last week's Cooking Club Course.  It's real.

I felt cared about and that's cool because it helps balance out all of the crap.
I read this and laughed out loud BTW.  Don't even need to read the article because just the Title and Picture sew it all up.
I realised that I haven't baked since Easter.  EASTER.  Unprecedented for me I know and it's probably got something to do with the fact that I've been off sweets.  I have, for the record, made a lot of ice cream.  Leftover cravings from Italy perhaps?  The upside for all of you is that ice cream leaves me with a butt load of egg whites... angel food cake anyone?  It's coming.  I promise.
Michael Pollan again.  I kinda feel like this weird attraction thing with him.  It's cool that he finds a way to say knowledgeable and intelligent things in a very accessible way.  It's also cool that he learns - like really learns - his stuff.
Statistically it looks like work/life balance has been working out pretty well for you if you are a dude... surprise, surprise.  Unfortunately, if you are a single-parent, educated (or not), working female the stats aren't looking nearly as rosy.  Surprise, Surprise.  Makes you wonder (again) about how things generally are working out for women in North America especially considering the kind of economy we've been dealing with over the last 10 (or 30) years.
It's almost impossible to imagine but this used to be 'Black Eyed Peas'.  Ummmm - WOW.
Also, just in case you ever need such thing, it's good to know that there is a company looking out for you.  But why should I believe them??????


I have been absolutely negligent in providing you with recipes using spring season ingredients.  They've been in my fridge - in fact, some are still there right now.  Asparagus, stinging nettles, ramps, rhubarb ('cause I had to order it this year... remember), fiddleheads, etc (can't think of any more).  I just feel like I haven't been doing anything life changing with them.  My general malaise combined with my lack of work/life balance (see above - without the single parenting part) has left me more than a little lazy in the kitchen.  I did however come up with this pesto thing.  It's not really pesto but calling it 'pesto' felt right and I'm just going to go with it.  I had cream cheese in the fridge and so it got added too.  It's a kitchen sink kind of recipe.  I later cooked up some honey garlic sausages and mushrooms and made a pasta sauce with the whole lot.  It came off well - even kid #2 ate it without complaining.


Ramps and Stinging Nettle 'Weird' Pesto
makes about 1 1/2 - 2 cups of sauce

8 ramps (or so) coarsely chopped
3 cups Stinging Nettle leaves, coarsely chopped
1/4 cup olive oil
3/4 cups cream
1 tsp salt
1 tsp honey
juice of a lemon (about 2 tbsp)
1/2 cup parmesan cheese
1/3 cups cream cheese or goat cheese
1/2 cup pasta water

Heat a heavy bottomed pan over medium heat.
Add about 2 tbsp olive oil or grease.
Throw in the ramps and stinging nettle leaves.  Stir for 1 minutes and immediately remove from the heat.
Add the olive oil and cream.
Place mixture in a blender or use an hand blender.  Blend until the mixture is an even paste.
Add the salt, honey, lemon, parmesan and cream cheese.  Mix until blended.
Check the taste and adjust if necessary.
Add pasta water just before using the pesto to get it to the desired consistency.

Having just had a week off I've been wrestling with this nagging issue in my mind.  I found myself, throughout the week, hard pressed for energy to think of something to do that didn't involve getting to a store to pick up things that the kids were needing or plunking myself in front of a screen.  Sure, I can chock it up to exhaustion.  I can blame the crappy, cold weather and lack of sun.  Suffice it to say that it was all I could do to keep up a reasonable yoga and running schedule throughout the week and plan one other thing in the day.


Thank goodness for this book which I've been devouring (although I have to slow myself down sometimes to really take it in).  I'm not just pushing the book because the author is Canadian but because he's also kick-ass deep. Throughout the week I was reading his chapter on the image and the power of the image.  J.R.S. went succinctly through a look at western religious art and the transformations that it went through up to about DaVinci when the 3D reality kicked in.  He talks about how artists were looking for the moment of epiphany when that reality was created... except the epiphany didn't quite happen.  The paradigm didn't shift epically like they thought it would.  And then the still photo was invented and that kind of kicked paintings butt.  A perfect image of whatever it was the photographer wanted to capture.  Further still was the moving picture.  But something happened in all of that 'reality' and along the way the reality of the photo and the moving picture wasn't reality at all.  It was illusion.  It was set up.  It was doctored.  Now, we live by the moving picture.  It informs us in every way about ourselves - our looks, our expectations, our beliefs.  J.R. Saul even goes as far to say that tv is our new religion.  It's the one thing that we do, in the western world at least, ritualistically and en masse.  Except it's all staged.
It got me thinking a lot about how much screen I take in.  It got me thinking about how much I see people talking about tv shows on FB, on their blogs or in everyday conversation.  It's how we talk about it too.
'I've got to make sure I catch the new episode of...'
'I can't believe what they just wrote into that story line...'
'I can't stand that character'
'My PVR only records 2 shows at a time.  How am I going to catch everything'
I don't have either cable or satellite.  The channels we get come through our rooftop antenna.  I don't miss cable.  I don't think that I've ever even considered getting it again and that was about 5 years ago.  But I still watch my fair share of shows and it's still crap.  It's still written in this stilted, formulaic manner.  It's still played by actors who must look a certain way for everything to work.  It still wraps up into a neat little package that leaves you with a feeling of satisfaction but the desire to experience the same banal comfort next week.  Reality tv... worse.  News.... the worst.
I'm going to work toward becoming more aware of what's in front of me all the time.  I'm not going to say 'that's it - I'm cutting it out' because that's not just unrealistic, it's unsustainable.  I think that the key is awareness.


During my week off I also decided to get serious about varying my cooking again.  It's so easy to get in ruts.  My ruts include cream, parmesan cheese, greens and pasta.  That's ain't half bad.  There is, however, only so much of that one family can take.  I made some Trini Stewed Pork and this is the stuff that we made with it.  Callaloo looks kinda gross and goopy but once you put it in your mouth you realize you haven't yet lived until that very moment.  It's amazing, beautiful stuff.  It's also good for you and if you can't find Dasheen leaf you can always try substituting with spinach.  You will get quite a different taste so you might have to adjust a bit but it's still absolutely worth it.

Trini Callaloo adapted from 'Naparima Girls High School Cookbook'

I went to my first professional basketball game this week and I was totally... BORED.  It may have had something to do with the fact that I had been working my ass off for the entire day because we were the choir singing the national anthems at the games.  It might have had something to do with me not sleeping well for a couple of nights prior to the game.  It might also just be that I'm not into that kind of thing.  The only game I seem to find any pleasure at all in watching is soccer (known as football by the rest of the world) and even that is pushing it.
It got me thinking about how bored I got watching baseball and even (dare I say it) hockey.  The weird thing is that I do like sports.  I even think of myself as somewhat athletic.  So much so that I wonder if the current 'Me' went back to high school now 'Me' might consider trying out for volleyball or track or something.  That's saying something.  What I find when I'm watching a game from the stands of these huge arena's is that I am so far removed from the game itself, it's so far away, that I don't invest.  I'm not connected to it at all.  There are so many people watching and we're all so far away and it starts and stops so much and so many of us are moving around and talking and leaving to pee and going to buy junk food that I can't focus.  There is the constant drone of the announcer and the lights flashing on the jumbotron.  It's too much for me.
And then I don't know the game well and I certainly don't know the players.  I'm out there at Centre Court for sound check with the players all warming up around us and watching our high school boys freaking out and thinking that this would probably be pretty meaningful if I had a clue who these guys were.  It seemed funny to me.  The highlight of the night was seeing that a well known Canadian actress was sitting court side (they gave her some flowers and a stuffed mascot toy - we could only see it on the jumbotron).  Realising that this was the highlight for me pretty much sealed it.  Yup - I'm not meant for this kind of stuff.


So if you were thinking about buying some season's tickets for a hockey/soccer/basketball/baseball team in the city you might want to reconsider.  I'd be pretty happy that you thought of me and might feel a sense of obligation to attend some of those games just because you spent the money on me but I wouldn't enjoy it much.  I really enjoyed the moment when D and I realised we just wanted to leave early and go home for a beer... which is exactly what we did.



This, of course, has nothing to do with the recipe that you will find below.  That's because there is no cool story for this recipe.  This recipe isn't really glamorous or cool.  It's just good and kinda healthy because it's using cooked cauliflower in place of the flour.  I don't know, maybe that is kinda cool.


Cauliflower Alfredo Sauce adapted from 'cupcakes and kale'
makes about 4 cups of sauce

3 1/2 cups cauliflower pieces
1 cup onion, sliced
4 med cloves garlic
1 can (about 1 cup) white beans, drained and rinsed
1 cup cream
3/4 cups milk
2 tsp salt
2 boullion cubes
1/2 tsp paprika
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp honey
1/2 - 3/4 cup parmesan cheese, grated

4 cups cooked pasta of choice (I used cooked penne)
4 cups veggies - I used greens (kale and chard mixture) - steamed until wilted or softened
3 slices of bacon (optional), diced
1 1/2 cups mushrooms, halved
1/3 cup walnuts, coarsely chopped

Bring a large, heavy bottomed pot to a boil with about 3/4 cup of water (approx).  Add in the cauliflower pieces, turn the heat down to med/low and cover.  Cook for about 15 - 20 minutes or until the cauliflower is softened and mashable.  Drain and set aside.
In a large dutch oven or heavy bottomed pot heat about 3 tbsp of oil over medium heat.  Add in the onion and cook for about 4 minutes.  Add in the garlic and cook for about 3 minutes together.  Add in the white beans.  Turn the heat down to low.
Add the cauliflower, milk and stir well.  Using a hand blender or pouring the whole thing into a regular blender, puree until the whole thing forms a sauce consistency.  Making it as smooth and consistent as possible.
Add in the cream, salt, boullion, paprika, nutmeg, honey and parmesan.  Mix until the parmesan has melted in.  Check the tastes and adjust if necessary.

To make the casserole:
Heat a large frying pan over medium heat and add the bacon.  Cook about two minutes or until just beginning to get brown.  Add in the mushrooms (and the greens if you don't want to steam them) and cook for about 4 minutes.
Combine the cooked pasta with the bacon and veggie mixture.  Toss to combine and pour into a large baking dish or serving bowl.
Pour the sauce over the pasta mixture and stir well.
Sprinkle with a little additional parmesan and the chopped walnuts.
serve.

We had an interesting conversation around the dinner table today, Kid #1 and I.
It was one of those existential things.  Kid #1was telling me about what she thinks about when she's bored in class.  On one hand I'm alarmed that my kid is bored in class often enough to know what she thinks about when she's bored.  On the other hand, I'm glad that she's not just thinking about what jeans she wants to buy or who she's going to text as soon as school is done.
So apparently Kid #1ponders mysteries like:
 - I can't believe that I am a person on this planet.  I exist in this space.
 - How did I get here?
 - What if I wake up one day and remember a past life?
 - What if I don't?
 - What if religion has the afterlife wrong?
 - What if it has it right?  Ack.
 So all of this kind of conversation reminded me of my own crazy/awesome thoughts when I was younger (I think as you get older the conversation still happens you start brooding over it more - it gets darker).  I remember staring at myself in a mirror and wondering at the person staring back at me.  That was me.  That was the 'me' that people understood when they heard my name.  I would stare at the skin on my hand and think about how weird limbs are as extensions of our brains - our thoughts.  I was totally overwhelmed by the question of how differently I would understand myself if I had never seen myself in a mirror or in pictures (that is actually a pretty cool thing to think about for a while).  I became fascinated with the idea of waking up someday and finding that I am my baby self in my bed.  I would discover that I had dreamt my life and now had the chance to live it over again.  The coolest thing is how you feel when you have these thoughts.  It feels like you must be the deepest thinker ever.  You're pretty sure that nobody has ever asked those particular questions before.  It takes a while (and probably a couple of undergrad philosophy courses) to realize that you are not alone.  We all wonder these things.  It is, in fact, one of the things that connects us all.  How we connect to our 'self', how we feel about the length of our life and our desire to extend that life.


It was a pretty cool conversation.
We ate Lamb Meatballs while we had the conversation.  Novel first off because I wasn't eating salad and secondly because the meatballs were delicious.  Absolutely delicious.  I wish I could eat them all over again.  I wish that I could wake up and realize that I dreamed the whole thing and then enjoy them all over again.  The reality is that I'll have to just find my way back to the farmers market and get some more ground lamb and make them again.  Damn reality.

Lamb Meatballs in spicy Eggplant and Tomato Sauce adapted from Bon Appetit
serves

Meatballs:
1 1/2 lbs ground lamb
1 egg
2/3 cup bread crumbs
1/3 cup onion, diced
1 clove garlic, crushed
1 tsp salt
dash of pepper
1 tbsp each parsley, oregano and basil
1 tbsp honey

Sauce:
4 - 5 cups fresh tomato, chopped
3 cups eggplant, diced
1/2 an onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 lg red pepper, seeded and thinly sliced
1/3 cup fresh basil, thinly sliced
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper sauce
1 1/2 tbsp brown sugar or honey
1 tbsp worcestershire sauce
a little parmesan for sprinkling (optional)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
Line a baking sheet with parchment or a silicon (non-stick) mat.  Toss the eggplant in some oil (a generous amount that I brushed onto the eggplant so that it wouldn't just soak in a be gone), sprinkle with salt and spread out on the baking sheet.  Bake for about 12 - 15 minutes.  Add the red pepper and toss with the eggplant.  Bake for another 12 - 15 minutes.  Remove from oven and remove from the baking sheet.  Set aside.
Meanwhile, combine all of the ingredients for the meatballs in a bowl and mix it all together (give your hands a good wash and then dig in).  Once everything is well incorporated form the meatballs into 1 1/2 inch balls (or so) and place on the same baking sheet.  Bake for about 20 minutes or until they're looking a little bubbly and maybe just slightly turning brown.  Remove from oven and set aside.  Keep the oven on.
In a large, heavy bottomed saucepan heat a little olive oil over medium heat.  Add in the onion once the oil has heated.  Cook for about two or three minutes.  Turn the heat down to med/low and add in the tomato.  Cook together for about 5.  If the tomatoes are bubbling too much you can turn the heat down a little more.  Cook for about 10 minutes altogether and then add in the eggplant, peppers and garlic.  Cook together for a few more minutes.  Add in the herbs, salt, pepper sauce, honey and Worcestershire.   Check the tastes and adjust if necessary.
Combine the sauce and the meatballs in a baking dish.  Cover and bake for about 20 minutes.
Cool for about 15 minutes before serving and sprinkle with a little parmesan if that strikes your fancy.

It's been a big week in our house, in our family and in the community at large.
We have lost someone and the loss has left a vacuum.
I knew, 10 years ago when D's Mom re-married, that this new guy was something special.  When we first met he was warm, inviting, open and deeply connected to himself and his roots.  I had no idea just who this man was.  Charlie came to Canada at 14 from Trinidad and Tobago.  He didn't get into law right away but decided instead to study for the priesthood.  There are 2 reasons that he didn't stay with the church.  I can't remember them both at the moment but 'science' was the first reason.  He instead went into law.  I don't know if he was born for law or not.  I'm sure that he was a brilliant lawyer.  But the thing that made him stand out was his incredible passion for people and for representing those who couldn't represent themselves... for whatever reason.  That injustice was intolerable for him and as a result he began making his mark in the city of Toronto as a civil rights activist in the seventies when a series of shootings by police of black men were creating an uproar.  Charlie was at the helm of that both legally and socially.
You might have heard of Caribana.  It's this festival held in August here in Toronto which was born out of the Trinidad 'Carnival' tradition but has come to celebrate black and west-indian culture in all of it's forms.  Charlie was one of the founders of Caribana.  For a long time I didn't know.  He remained active in Caribana even up to this past August when he had to be driven through the parade route (he was so happy for that though).
Charlie died as a permanent resident of Canada and not a citizen.  He declined citizenship because he refused to take an oath to the Queen.  Right up to the end.  He fought it hard too.  There are many still working on that case and they will carry it on for him, of that I'm confident.  I heard a lawyer being interviewed yesterday and that lawyer got into law because of Charlie's mentorship.  It was during the interview when the lawyer said that Charlie's contribution to civil rights puts him at the table with the likes of Martin Luther King Jr. that it hit me just what this man was who came to our summer BBQ's.


Many many people love him.  Everyone feels that they know him and that's what he would have wanted.  For us... well he was just 'Babu'.  He played with my kids.  He encouraged them to be the best that they are and I think he saw things in them that no one else might have seen.  They debated with him and they drew protest pictures of the G8 summit and they went to the ROM.  At the end of the day, I'm thankful that we knew him not just as the public figure but as Babu... as Charlie.  He'll be missed by us all for the public contributions that he made but for us, we'll be missing 'Babu'.


As we've been juggling life and loss this week I've been craving some good food that makes me feel warm, loved and nourished.  This has helped a lot.


Broccoli and Lemon Pasta adapted from 'Bon Appetit'
Serves 4 - 6

5 slices of bacon cut into coarse pieces
1 cup leek, thinly sliced
1 cup green beans (ends cut off and then cut into bite sized lengths) or green peas
2 1/2 - 3 cups of broccoli, cut into bite sized chunks
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 cup milk
1/4 cup fresh herbs (a mixture of parsley,basil, oregano)
11/2 tbsp honey
11/2 tsp salt
11/2 tsp pepper sauce or a dash of cayenne
1 tbsp lemon zest.       
1 tbsp fresh lemon juice
1/2 cup goat cheese
1 cup freshly grated parmesan
4 cups spaghetti cooked to al dente (reserve a little of the pasta water)

Heat a large pot and add in the bacon chunks.  Brown for a few minutes and then turn the heat down to med/low.  Add in the sliced leeks and cook together for about 3 minutes.  Add in the beans, broccoli and garlic.  Cook for another 5-7 minutes.  Add in the herbs, honey, salt, pepper sauce, lemon zest and lemon juice. Mix well and cook together for about 2 minutes.  Add in the goat cheese and stir to melt in slightly.  Add in the cream and milk.  Mix well and turn the heat down to low.  Add in the parmesan cheese and continue to cook until the cheese begins to melt into the cream.  Toss with the pasta and a little of the reserved pasta water.  Serve with a little more fresh parmesan on top.

I'm sure that there are many reasons that someone might decide to make a food blog.  I can think of a few:
1.  Sister lives far away and wanted recipes on a regular basis.  A food blog is a great way to make that happen easily.
2.  You really want a cooking show ('cause you think you're hilarious) but since that's never going to happen a food blog seemed like the next best thing.
3.  You take great pictures and you got sick of nobody noticing how awesome your pictures are so you thought if you threw some great pictures in with some of your stupid thoughts and a recipe that more people might care.
4.  You're a good cook.  Let's get out there and get it recognized.
5.  You write well and food blogs get more traffic than writing blogs do.
6.  You're looking for a way to add a part-time job to your week... with no pay.
7.  You're looking for a way to escape from the chaos that is your life.  When you are blogging nobody bothers you.
8.  You are tired of hauling your ass off to some job in a big building somewhere and would love to create work for yourself that you could do at home and that would still include a 'community' feel.
8.  You are somebody who loves cooking and taking pictures and you totally plan ahead.  You've got recipes planned into the next month and a grocery list to boot.  You've thought of all kinds of witty-awesome things to say and your pictures are thoughtful and beautiful.  Congrats,  You are Perfect.


The possibilities are endless.  I'm not going to tell you which ones of the above are me and which ones aren't.  I probably don't need to.  I'm sure that you've already guessed and that your guesses are mostly right.  The honest truth is that I plan almost nothing.  That's probably why I don't have thousands of people checking me out and/or offering me tv show and cookbook opportunities.  That's ok with me.  I cook for my fam and friends and rarely do I think beyond the necessity in front of me.  I hope that I get good light for pictures but I don't always.  Sometimes I don't get to cooking anything at all.  Those are the weeks where you get my garden pictures or some adventure we went on.  Sometimes I forget to take a picture at the right time.  I really should plan more.  I know that.  Sometimes I don't even plan what I'm going to write (ahem...) and just sit down at the keyboard and will my fingers into action.  Mostly, we need to eat and I want to eat good, interesting food.  That's my planning in a nutshell.


This recipe was not planned.  I literally looked at what had just come in with the food box and from the garden (my eggplant - !), typed those ingredients in and looked at what recipes came up.  This epicurious one popped up and within minutes I got it started.  It happened fast.  And it was good.  It's a little fuss - some pots and putting together and all - but it's not difficult at all.  In fact it was pretty easy and it made a lot.

Random Silly Shot - If you are looking for something to do with all of  those fennel fronds...

Late Summer Veggie Torte adapted from Epicurious
serves 6 - 8

2 medium (fat preferably) eggplants
2 lg red pepper, thickly sliced
2 lg zucchini, thickly sliced lengthwise
olive oil
salt
1 cup soft goat cheese

Tomato Sauce
1 lg leek, thinly sliced
3 med garlic cloves, crushed
2 tbsp olive oil
3 - 1/2 cups fresh tomato, chopped
1 veggie boullion cube
1 1/2 tsp salt
2 tbsp italian seasoning
dash of pepper sauce

Bechamel:
2 tbsp unsalted butter
3 tbsp all purpose flour
1 cup milk, warmed
1 cup heavy cream, warmed
3 eggs
1 1/2 cups parmesan freshly grated
1 tbsp Worcestershire
sprinkle of lemon zest
dash of pepper sauce

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
Line a baking sheet with parchment or a silicon liner.
Place the eggplant slices on the parchment and then brush the eggplant with olive oil and sprinkle with a little salt.
Roast for about 20 - 25 minutes or until the eggplant looks just browned and is soft.
Remove the eggplant and replace with the zucchini and red pepper.  Brush those with olive oil and sprinkle with salt.  Roast for about 25 minutes or until the red pepper looks soft and just browned.  Remove and set aside.

Meanwhile for the sauce:
In a heavy bottomed sauce pan heat the olive oil over medium heat.  Add in the leeks and the garlic and cook together just until the leek is just beginning to brown.
Add in the chopped tomatoes.  Turn down the heat to med/low but keep the tomatoes just simmering.  Add in the boullion cube, salt and italian seasoning (a mix of parsley, basil, oregano and rosemary which you could just as easily add in individually).  Stir and let simmer for another 20 - 30 minutes.

Meanwhile for the Bechamel:
Heat a heavy bottomed sauce pan over medium heat.  Add in the butter until melted.  Add in the flour and mix together until it forms a paste.  Turn the heat down to low and slowly add the milk and cream, whisking steadily throughout.  Once all of the liquid is added then continue whisking slowly until the mixture begins to thicken.  You should feel a noticeable thickening.
Add the parmesan, Worcestershire and lemon zest and set aside to cool slightly.
After a few minutes, once the mixture has cooled a bit, whisk in each egg slowly.  Add the pepper sauce if you opt for that.

Line a lg 9x13 baking dish with the eggplant (I made mine squish into one bottom layer).  Sprinkle half of the goat cheese over that in spoonfuls.  Pour half of the tomato sauce over that.
Layer the zucchini and red pepper over that.  Sprinkle the rest of the goat cheese over that.  Pour the rest of the tomato sauce over that.
Pour the béchamel/egg sauce over everything.  Sprinkle with a little extra parmesan.
Bake for about 30 - 35 minutes or until everything is bubbly and golden on top.
Cool for about 20 minutes before serving (I'm not kidding - it's gets so much better)

Ugh - I just finished this book.  I did it.  I'm a better person for it.  I was a hard read.  It was also a slightly depressing read but I feel like I read something real and deep and wide and rich.
There is simply so much to take in while reading that I feel like I need to read it again.  I never ever ever read books twice unless I'm researching something (which is not the case here).  I've got a thing about it and always have.  I must have been 10 or 11 yrs old when I first articulated the idea in my mind.  When the idea became more than just random preferences.  I was wandering around in a bookstore and found my way (inevitably) to the 'classics' section.  I didn't know where to start.  I had to start with the oldest thing there (that I knew of at least).  I'm trying to remember what I walked out with - possibly Nathanael Hawthorne or Jane Austen and definitely not the 'oldest' thing in the section - but I can't recall.  I had this sense of just how much was out there floating around in the world at large and that knowledge held me back from taking the time to read something again.  At the time it seemed like stealing from the next great book - and I guess in a weird way it is a little like that.  Of course now I know that I'll never read through everything out there, not even once... probably.  But this book... well, it feels important enough to read again.
I think that what has made a most lasting impression is the idea that we need to stop looking at this planet from the perspective at the top of the pyramid or the top wrung of the ladder.  In fact,  looking at our world as something that has a top and bottom wrung at all needs to exit our brains.  If we could get our heads around the idea of just being another animal in the cycle that is life and death, participating fully in the taking and giving of it... well that would change everything.  What if every time I 'took' (a breath, an animal life, nutrients from the ground) I thought about how to 'give'.  Ultimately, of course, giving my body back to the ground to feed the life around it again.  The book has made me think long about how much we've (I've) extracted with no thought of giving back.


I'm going to change gears abruptly here and start talking about mayonnaise.  I haven't bought mayonnaise in years.  D hates it.  Passionately.  And no one else actually likes it except me.  I just couldn't justify having this stupid jar hangin around the fridge and then not getting used quickly enough and then... aw... you know.  I hadn't even ever thought about making my own which is dumb because I make almost everything else.  It just never occurred to me and when it did I thought it would be difficult.  And then I found this recipe and it changed my life.  I have now made mayonnaise.  And it was easy.  And totally worth it.


I used olive oil this time around and apple cider vinegar.  Didn't work for me exactly.  I found the olive oil too strong and the cider vinegar not strong enough.  In future I'll use some other oil with less taste and a vinegar with more taste but preferably just lemon juice.  I was pretty generous with my salt and dijon as a result but I think you should go easy and add extra only if you taste it and find it lacking.
This recipe will take you no longer than a minute.  Yup.


I'm finding some great ways to use the mayo up... this was my first thing.  Oh yeah.
Now that I've finished the book I've got to find a way to move on.  To continue deciding on a daily basis whether I want to be radical about this or just nominal.  I think that this is something that deserves being decided on a daily basis because it's so counter to everything that we currently live in every conceivable way.  It's not something I can just decided today and it will stick forever and ever.  It's huge.

Homemade Mayo adapted from 'Well Preserved' and Gordon Ramsay
made about 1 1/2 - 2 cups mayo

2 egg yolks
200 ml of oil (I used olive but I recommend using something with less taste - canola or something)
1 full tablespoon dijon mustard
2 tbsp vinegar or lemon juice (I used apple cider vinegar which I found a little too subtle so I ended up using more regular vinegar - start with maybe 1 1/2 tbsp regular vinegar  - or something strong - and see if you need more)
1 1/2 tsp salt

Immersion Blender Version:
Throw all the ingredients into a tall, narrow container (I used the one that came with the blender).  Starting with the blender at the very bottom begin to blend on low speed and slowly work your way up.  It took about 20 seconds for everything to happen.
Taste and adjust if necessary.  You can blend again for a few seconds or just whisk in by hand.
Put the mayo into a jar with a lid and refrigerate.
Will keep for about 1 week.