You decide to take a day off (in lieu of all the over time that you've been putting in because it's the most wonderful time of the year and all of that) and it becomes this magical, mystical thing.  You anticipate all of the things you can do on your day off.  You relish the thought of sleeping in, even though kids need to get to school so realistically you still need to get up with them.  You think about all of the things you can do tomorrow instead of today because you have tomorrow off.  You can't wait to watch daytime tv with nobody else around.  Space in your own house, lying on the couch - the whole couch - and not having to share.
Then the day off happens.  You send an email to work and tell everybody that you are working from home.  Then you get 3 emails that need to be responded to immediately.  Then you get a phone call from work.  Got a message and need to call them back ASAP.  You go for a run because that just has to happen.  You throw in that laundry that you could have done yesterday.  You water all the plants and turn the tv on while doing all of it because you feel like if you don't you will miss that stupid show you never get to watch.  You go out and catch up on the errands that (again) you could have done yesterday but didn't because you had this 'day off' coming up.
You start putting things together to bake those awesome cupcakes that you wanted to make for the last few days.  You've run out of baking powder.  Baking powder?  Who runs out of baking powder.  It's so weird that you realize you've run out of baking powder on your one day off.  It's so random that  you've now discovered you can't make those cupcakes and you've already run your errands.  Now you don't have time to get more baking powder before picking Kid #2 up from school.  You still haven't returned that work message - Oh yeah, and gotten on top of those ten other messages that came into your work account over the last hour.
And just like that, your day off is gone.  It's the past.  I'm not even going to talk about what the next day at work is like because you took that one day to work at home.  You tell yourself that you won't make the mistake of trying to accomplish too much if you take a day 'off' again but you know that you will do it all again the next time it rolls around.


That brings me to these muffins.  I had too many carrots. I think that I got mixed up with my food order.  I usually order my food box stuff online and my computer is in the kitchen... right next to the fridge in fact.  There is no excuse.  I should have just opened the fridge door and looked.  Whatever, I had two bags of carrots... but no baking powder.  That required a second trip to the store.


The moral of this story is: Whatever is on your list will eventually get done but not all on your day off... well, unless the only thing on your list is 'do nothing'.  Then your chances of getting through the list is probably pretty good.


Chocolate Carrot Cupcakes adapted from Heather Cristo
makes 1 dozen big cupcakes

1 cup carrots (about 3 medium), thinly sliced
1 tbsp butter
3 tbsp water

3/4 cup unbleached, all purpose flour
3/4 cup cocoa powder (I used some dark stuff - 'Cocoa Camino' is really good)
2 tbsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 tsp espresso powder
1/2 cup unsalted butter
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1 tbsp vanilla
1/3 cup milk or 10% cream

Put the carrots, 1 tbsp butter and 3 tbsp water into a small pot.  Bring to a boil and then simmer at med/low heat for about 7 min or until the carrots are soft.  Mash and set aside to cool.

Preheat the oven to 350°F
Line a cupcake tin with liners or whatever you usually use (butter and flour them all if you want)
Sift together the flour and cocoa powder.  Add the baking powder, baking soda, salt and espresso powder and set aside.
Mix or whisk together the butter and both sugar's until light and fluffy - about 3 minutes.  Add in the eggs and vanilla and beat for another 2 minutes.
Add the carrot mixture to the egg mixture and mix until combined.
Add the flour mixture to the carrot mixture and gently whisk until combined.
Add enough milk or cream to get the batter to an almost pourable consistency.
Fill each cupcake cup to the brim.
Bake for about 22 minutes or until a tester comes out of the middle cupcake clean.
Cool for about 12 - 15 minutes.

That moment when you are about to write a blog post because something, some silly little thing, inspired you and then you realise that you haven't typed in the recipe yet.  Yup.  Sunk.  I only typed in part of the recipe.  The easy part.  My Heart sinks.
You see, this recipe has been kinda doomed since the beginning.  To start with, I really didn't have enough peaches.  I should have used fresh ones.  It would be best with fresh ones.  Then you look at the muffins with all of that muesli on top and they look too damn healthy.  You know, all of that doomed crap.  We were all underwhelmed by them.  They wanted to be more, they wanted to be spiced and spruced.  Add in a dash of cinnamon and cardamom or something exciting.  If you're a food blogger then you can go ahead and do that for me.  Post the recipe and you can say that you 'adapted' your recipe from me.  That would be cool.  You have my permission.  The one thing that these muffins were is fluffy.  I tried a half of one.  Kid #1 had a whole one.  Done.  I contemplated taking them to work but then I didn't feel like 'cause I only want to share with people I like and that can get kind of sticky.  So they just got eaten ridiculously slowly and then not eaten at all.
Then I saw these adorable pictures from this other blogger who posted peach muffins.  Which is cool because our muffins are different (whatever) and yeah, that totally happens in the blogosphere.  And her pictures make me think that maybe I should put cute little bears or butterflies in my pictures.  I'm completely rethinking my photo focus and feeling super second rate... maybe balloons would be nice.

Not an adorable plastic pig in sight.

Let's not even talk about how it's not really even peach season anymore.  Fresh peaches are a thing of the past here.  This gets me feeling super depressed that I haven't canned one single thing this year.  Not one.  Nothing.  Truth is, I can't face it.  The thought of doing 4 bushels of tomatoes is making me want to leave my lunch in the toilet.  But it still doesn't prevent me from feeling the loss and failure of leaving it out of my life completely.  D has given me permission to let it go - he doesn't think that I get an F for buying canned tomatoes this year.  That's a relief.  So, there it is.  Bye Bye peach season.
Then my weekend was a total write-off.  Ended up having to work.  Ended up being a single parent.  Ended up seeing a friend go into the hospital with an emergency brain aneurysm.  Ended up feeling ridiculously sorry for myself.  Ended up looking for therapists online.  So by 10pm Sunday night when I really only had that tiny little morsel of inspiration to go on, the floor dropped out from under me when I realised that I still needed to type in the recipe instructions.   I keep telling myself to type it all in when I first make it so that it's all done.  You never go back to it later... or you hate yourself when you do.  And yet, here I am again.
So I'm deciding that life is short and if I'm going get all up in my freak about this then I'd better just have a beer and go to bed which will definitely help with depression.  I'll call the therapist in the morning.

Oh Look - a piece of peach.

If you happen to live somewhere that is still experiencing fresh peaches.  If you happen to be someone who canned peaches and would like some ideas on how to use them up.  Hell, if you froze a few peach slices... then try this out.  Make sure you have enough peaches.

Muesli... yawn

Peach Muffins with Muesli Streusel adapted from Baking Bites
Makes about 14 lg muffins

1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
3/4 cup whole wheat or red fife flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup sugar
1 egg
4 egg whites (or 1 more egg if you don't have egg whites handy)
1 cup milk
1/4 cup + 1 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
1 tbsp vanilla
1 1/2 cups peaches (frozen or fresh), skins peeled and diced into 1 inch cubes and tossed in a tbsp or two of flour.

Topping
3/4 cup muesli or granola (no sugar)or oats
1/4 cup sugar
1/4 tsp cinnamon

Preheat oven to 350° F
Line between 12 and 14 muffin cups with liners and set aside.
Combine both the flours, baking powder and salt together.  Mix and set aside.
Whip the egg whites (if using) until semi-stiff peaks form (about 5 minutes or so depending on what you are using to whip them).  Set aside.
In a large bowl combine both of the sugars and the egg (or 2 if you are not using egg whites).  Whip together until fluffy.  Add in the milk and melted butter.  Whisk until well mixed.  Add the vanilla and mix.
Add the flour mixture to the sugar and egg mixture.  Whisk until the dry ingredients are thoroughly incorporated.  If using egg whites, gently fold them in until they are well incorporated.  Gently fold in the peaches.
Fill each muffin cup to the brim.

Combine all of the topping ingredients together.  Sprinkle on top of each unbaked muffin tin.
Bake the muffins for about 25 - 30 minutes or until they're turning golden on the sides and a cake tester comes out of the middle muffin cup clean.
Cool and eat.

I exhale and realize that slowly, steadily, each time I exhale this week I will unwind just a little more.  It's a wonderful thought.  By this time next week I will have gotten through planning choirs for all of the remaining weddings for the summer, gotten all of the emails ready for those weddings, taken a group of 33 boys to sing the anthems at a Jays game honouring Carlos Delgado (the name means very little to me, a non-baseball fan, but I'm sure that you all are duly impressed), gotten through a lot of birthdays (I forgot to count this time around) and... well... I can't think of anything else.  Maybe there is nothing else.
I pulled the cookie sheet out of the cupboard today and tried to think of the last time I made cookies.  I can't recall it.  My mind is blanking and it's been happening a lot - I'm not worried though.  Sometimes the thought that I might not remember things is kind of comforting.  KT, knowing my gift anxiety and challenges, requested oatmeal cookies for her birthday.  I didn't make them while it was 2 billion degrees in the kitchen so they're a couple of days late but the were very cute and hopefully very yummy and now they are gone... some into her belly and some into her freezer.  Plain oatmeal cookies.

These are not plain, oatmeal cookies.

A royal baby was born.  Thank jeebus.  I'm not a monarchist in the least.  I somewhat resent the institution.  I definitely resent the imperial and colonial history that the institution represents and I certainly think that today we could find much better places to spend tax dollars (for Brits anyway).  However, the hoopla is going to be there whether I like it or not and I for one am glad that the child is with us... so we can have some peace.  I am also a little uneasy about the public spectacle of that extremely private event.  We didn't ask to see their wedding night sheets, did we?  It feels a little weird.


I met a guy who is just starting to train for a body building show.  He's already built but it will take another 18 weeks to get him show ready.  The diet changes have started and he's gradually ramping up his workouts.  By the time he's ready to show he'll be working out multiple hours a day and eating god knows how few calories to stay in his weight class.  Plus - no drinking.  The whole thing sounds scary to me.  The spray tan alone would decide things for me... no spray tan.

These super hero's have been watching my every move today.

KT was asking about my next tattoo and I'm really really ready to get one but the summer is realistically not the time.  I'm living on fumes (no paycheques in the summer) and you have to keep that new ink out of the sun for a short period of time.  A short period of time is pretty much what we call the season of 'summer' around here so if I have to keep a non-private-parts part of my body out of the sun then it could miss the whole summer.  Like hell.  I'll do it when I get back to work - with paycheques and work clothes.  I got it alllll planned though.


I thought that this parenting article pretty much covered me all around.  Cue sigh of relief and Wanda out.  The kids are out with two friends (who also happen to be brother and sister) having a play date which is why I'm sitting here writing this post in the first place.

This was my lunch and I thought you might care... I still might eat more.  It wasn't as filling as I thought it would be.

And finally, muffins made of stuff that isn't all salt, sugar, fat (a book that I'm just finishing up BTdub) but a little salt, sugar, fat.  Zucchini  - definitely in the clear.  Banana - yeah, it gets a pass.  Chocolate - I used good quality, organic, fair, righteous, humble and courageous - ok, we'll let it through.  I even threw some whole wheat flour in their just to make you feel that this was probably one of the best uses for that zucchini wilting in your fridge and that banana freezing in your freezer.  Kid #1 and #2 didn't even realize that it contained zucchini just in case your looking for a way to get something like that into your kids digestion system.

Please note super hero trio in the upper right corner... creepy.

Zucchini, Banana, Chocolate Muffins adapted from Martha Stewart
makes 12 lg muffins

1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
3/4 cup red fife or whole wheat flour
1 cup brown sugar
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp cardamom
1/8 tsp nutmeg
1 1/2 cups (scant) grated zucchini
3/4 cup milk
1 egg
1/3 cup mashed banana (about 1 banana)
3/4 cup (or so) chopped chocolate or chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350°F
Line a muffin tin with about 12 muffin liners.
Combine both flours, sugar, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, cardamom and nutmeg together in a bowl.  Add the grated zucchini and mix until the zucchini is well incorporated and completely coated with the flour mixture.  Mix well and set aside.
In another bowl mix together the milk and egg.  Whisk to mix.
Add the mashed banana and mix well.
Add the banana mixture to the flour mixture and whisk together only until everything is wet.
Add the chopped chocolate and mix until the chocolate is evenly distributed.
Spoon into the muffin cups.  I filled mine just barely to the top edge.
Bake for about 25 minutes or until a cake tester comes clean out of the middle muffin cup.
Cool before eating.

I'm going to Italy.  I don't think that I've mentioned this yet.  Maybe I have.  I am not in Italy presently.  I am not leaving for Italy tomorrow.  I will be gone in a couple of weeks.  I would love to tell you that I'd be idling around Florence and Rome for two weeks on the prowl for the best coffee and gelato but that is not the case.  I wish that I were telling you about the red Vespa that would transport through the narrow streets of Rome.  Nope - that's not happening either.  Although I'm not a big fan of biscotti in the afternoon, I am a fan of red wine in the afternoon but there won't be much of that happening either.  Instead, I'll be running around Florence and Rome with an entourage of about 250 of us most of whom are under the age of 18.  I will be one of the chaperones for these fine gentlemen - yes, they are all boys.  I will also be helping to prepare some of the soloists for the Mass that will be held at St Peter's with Pope Francis.  Hmmm - red wine in the afternoon with my red Vespa parked just off the terrace sounds much more fun.
With my trip only a couple of weeks away I am already thinking ahead for this blog.  I don't want to bore you all with two weeks straight of pictures from Italy and complaints about how many times 12 yr old boys complain about being hungry and needing to go to the bathroom.  I've spent the later part of this week and most of the weekend (well not most) cooking, baking and taking pictures.  I want to start getting ahead of things so that I've got some good stuff to give you when I'm away.  As a result of my kitchen plotting I didn't get my bike into the bike shop for it's tune-up.  That will be for next weekend.  I also didn't get around to getting my next tattoo arranged.  Maybe that's for next weekend too - I have been fawning over these one's though.  I'm not going to feel bad even for one minute about not cleaning my bathroom.


I've got some gorgeous blueberry squares coming and some Trini food in the pipe as well.  I've got faint plans to do something with this cauliflower crust pizza thing before winter is completely over with.  I spied this cornmeal casserole thing that looks interesting too.  Chicken potstickers.  Yeah - there are a lot of plans floating around in my head.

Buckwheat flour has these dark specks  - so beautiful.

One of the first things that left the kitchen this week were these muffins.  They did not stick around for long but mostly because I shared.  It happened to be playdate day for both Kid #1 and #2 so I shared with each family involved.  I made these with orange juice and orange zest which I decided - once I tasted the zest in the batter - that I don't really like.  I would leave it out next time.  The recipe itself called for persimmon pulp which I didn't have so I just replaced it with buttermilk (and orange juice) and things turned out quite fine.  They are pretty chocolatey and rich so sharing was perfect here because a little goes a long way.  I'm going to point ever so gently to the sentance earlier in this paragraph where I mentioned 'playdate' and refer you to my previous post where I talk about my parenting philosophy.  We had an afternoon and evening of 'playdates' happening in the middle of our March Break week.  Both D and I felt like stellar parents and celebrated ourselves heartily afterwards... and we survived BTW.


Whole Grain Chocolate Muffins adapted from 'Good to the Grain'
makes about med/lg 13 - 15 muffins

1 cup buckwheat flour
1 1/2 cups unbleached, all purpose flour
1/4 cup + 2 tbsp cocoa powder
2 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 tsp instant espresso powder
1 1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda

3 oz unsalted butter, soft or almost room temperature
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup sugar
2 eggs
1/2 cup plain yogurt or sour cream
grated zest of 1 orange (optional)
2 cups total: use the juice of the zested orange and fill to 2 cups with buttermilk
7 oz dark chocolate (42  - 60%) coarsely chopped

Preheat oven to 350°F.
Rub a muffin tin with butter or line with silicon  or paper cups.  Set aside.
Sift together the buckwheat and all purpose flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, espresso powder, salt and baking soda.  Mix and set aside.
In another bowl beat together the butter and both sugars until light and creamy coloured.  Add in the eggs and continue to beat until combined.
Add in the yogurt and mix well.
Add the dry ingredients to the wet.  Mix well and gradually add the buttermilk/orange juice mixture.  The batter should be much thinner at this point.
Gently fold in the chopped chocolate and mix gently.
Scoop the batter into the prepared tins until the batter comes just over the top edge of the muffin cup.
Bake for about 35 minutes or until the muffin springs back or until a tester comes out clean.
Cool on a rack.
Eat warm or store for a couple of days.  Freezes well.

I'm totally distracted by lots and lots of things in my life.  At the moment my big distraction is that I have no one to go to a concert with me.  I'm gutted.  I desperately want to go and see Kate Nash who is in town next week.  I sent a call out to my cyberworld friends and sadly, have gotten no response.  D is not into K enough to go to the show although, to be fair, we haven't talked about it yet.  Kate is definitely just weird enough to be just a smidge inaccessible to most pop-loving north americans but not weird enough to make it into the super fringe crowd.  Her music speaks to me.  She seems unafraid to be a 'hysterical' female.  I'm itching to go and it's my March Break week... do I go by myself... it's pretty late in the night... I'd feel weird standing there alone...
Then I thought about how far the tables have turned... and in the weirdest way.  When I was in university I was the girl that didn't go out.  I stayed home.  I put my favourite CD in the disk player and plugged in the headphones.  I would lie on the couch and get lost in the sound.  I would read.  I would go to church.  I would grab the local and free newspaper and read about what was going on... I would never do it.  My friends would ask me to do stuff... I wouldn't.  Sometimes I would go to a movie - usually either while I was supposed to be in class (ie. during the day) or at midnight (I wasn't afraid of the movie theatre... just of some movies).  Mostly I went to friends places for dinner if I did anything at all.  Once.  ONCE!  My friend dragged me kicking and screaming (and terrified on the inside) to a Bare Naked Ladies concert.  It was fun but I felt lost, I didn't know what to do.
It's taken me many years to be okay with not knowing what to do, to stop worrying about whether I looked the part and to actually let myself want to do something.  I am now at the stage of life when most of us slow down - kids, work, home - and yet now I feel finally ready to get out there and do somethings.  Let me be clear, I still don't want to do a lot.  I'm not and probably never will be much of a party person.  But there are some things that I just want to do.


It's weird how life does that to you.  Just when you feel good about yourself and you're ready to put it out there you discover that your boat just set off from dock and you're scrambling to find another solution.  I don't know if you've ever found yourself in that situation.  Wondering how it is in your circle of friends or in your family that you are the only one who's giving a crap about some special thing or whatever.  Thing is, I'm one week away from a great show and I've got no date.  Should I consider hiring someone?  Do I ask someone to go who doesn't know KN at all - then I have to explain her or feel all apologetic when she's not what they expected.  Do I just not go?  I can get her music online after all... it's not the end of the world right?
While contemplating my dilemma I made these muffins.  Muffins are still weird for me because I feel like they are cupcake's boring cousin except... they're not.  Aside from not rising as much as I might have preferred in a perfect muffin world, these were great.  I sat with a cup of coffee (which I'm drinking again for those with an interest) and let the carrot muffin pieces in my mouth lull my into a false sense of 'ok'.


Whole Grain Carrot Muffins adapted from Good to the Grain
makes about 8 - 10 medium sized muffins

Streusel: (I only used about half of this for the muffins - the other half can go in the freezer for next time)
1/4 cup + 2 tbsp spelt flour
2 tbsp oat bran (I used quick oats instead)
3 tbsp brown sugar
1 tbsp sugar
1/2 tsp salt
3 tbsp (or so) cold, unsalted butter, cubed

Muffins:

1 cup spelt flour
3/4 cup unbleached all purpose flour
1/4 cup oat bran (I used a mixture of bran and quick oats 'cause that's what I had)

1 tsp allspice
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1 1/2 cups carrots, shredded
1 cup buttermilk
1/4 cup unsalted butter, melted and cooled slightly
1 egg

Combine the streusel ingredients in a bowl and using your fingers, pinch together the ingredients until they form a crumbly texture.  Do this quickly and then set aside in the fridge until needed.
Preheat the oven to 350°F.
Line a muffin tin with about 10 liners and set aside.
Combine the flours, oat bran, both sugars, allspice, cinnamon, salt and nutmeg together.  Mix just until combined.  Add the shredded carrots and mix until the carrots are mixed and coated with the dry ingredients.
In another bowl combine the buttermilk, melted butter and egg together and whisk until the ingredients are combined and just a little frothy.  Add to the flour mixture and stir together just until everything has incorporated to form a wet batter.
Fill each muffin cup just to the brim with the batter.  Sprinkle a generous amount of streusel on top of each muffin (about 2 tbsp or so, if you can manage it).
Bake for about 32 - 35 minutes, turning half way through baking.
Cool slightly before removing from the pan.
Keeps for about 2 days.

Baking requires something of you.  Yeah sure, it's soothing, it's not difficult, it's rewarding, for some it's demeaning but it's nothing if not demanding.  You can't serve two masters while you are baking unless you are willing to risk disaster.  There are those times when all the best laid plans and the most intense focus still don't yield something up to expectation.  Today was one of those days.
I intended to be showing you pictures of pumpkin bread today because it's been on my mind for a long time.  I've been delving into my new cookbook to get some further inspiration and I was seriously ready to go.  I'd cleared my time.  I'd prepared the squash ahead of time - roasted and mashed.  My baking tin was prepped.  The ingredients were ready.  This was going to be the thing.  The thing that my eyes and my taste buds have been waiting for.  I started.  Sure, I was adapting things but nothing drastic.  The muffin recipe was being adapted into a loaf recipe.  The changes were right there on the page.  Everything was primed to be perfect...
And then I turned on that Bollywood movie I'd started the day before.
Oh it was fantastic.  It was everything we've all come to expect from our favourite Bollywood offerings.  Extremely well built male whose shirt seems ready to slip off at the slightest breeze or splash of water.  Beautiful, innocent and yet absolutely alluring woman with straight dark hair and enticing eyes.  They dance.  There are costume changes.  Though they are drawn to each other there is so much keeping them apart.  Their love is sacred.  Through the many costume changes and flirtatious glances there's a love story that takes on religious zeal and often spans decades.  It's wonderful, magical, epic and mythical.  And it's not the best thing to have running when you are trying a new recipes that requires adapting and tweaking.  My bread went into the oven and the timer was set.  The timer went off and I even gave it more time.  I even used a cake tester to check that it was done but when I came back to the loaf about 10 minutes later to slice it and take some pictures I found that it had sunk quite drastically.  'I'm sure it's fine' I think getting distracted that once again some beautiful abs and biceps have escaped from the shirt they were hidden under on my tv screen.  I slice my loaf and immediately realize that what I expected to be a perfectly cooled loaf is really cooled pudding.  Complete goo.  It seems that the giggling and dancing, wire fighting (yes - there was that too), garden walks and attempted kidnapping all helped me completely forget that muffin baking time and loaf baking time might be a tad different from each other.


Fortunately one of the positive side effects of such a pleasant distraction is that you bounce back quite quickly.  I was truly none the worse for wear.  'Oh well, these things happen' I say to myself.  Off it went to compost and out came the bananas.  Whole wheat flour and some streusel, a few chocolate chips and the universe was once again in balance... and the happy couple were hugging finally after two hours on screen and 7 movie years of waiting for each other.  Hugging.


I've not given up on my pumpkin bread.  I've still got the ideal in my head.  It's going to look just so and taste wonderful.  The crumb will be perfect and the topping will be the icing on the cake so to speak.  It just won't be happening today.


Red Fife Banana Muffins adapted from 'Baking Bites'
8 - 10 muffins

1 1/2 cup red fife or whole wheat flour
1/2 cup unbleached, all purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 cup milk
1 egg
3/4 cup brown sugar
2 or 3 ripe bananas (about 1 - 1 1/4 cups), peeled and mashed
3 tbsp melted butter

Toppings or additions:
Few handfuls of chocolate chips (additions)
Streusel (topping) - see recipe below
chopped nuts (addition or topping or both)
chopped candied nuts (topping I think)

Preheat oven to 350°F.
Line a muffin tin with paper or silicon liners and set aside.
Combine the flours, baking powder, salt and cinnamon together.  Mix until incorporated and set aside.
Combine the milk, egg and brown sugar together.  Mix well.  Add in the mashed banana and mix again.  Add in the melted butter and mix well.
Add the flour mixture to the banana mixture.  Mix only until the flour is completely mixed in.  Add any additions that you would like ... or none at all.
Fill the muffin cups so that the filling just reaches the top.  Sprinkle with nuts or streusel if you would like.
Bake for about 20 minutes or until a cake tester comes out clean.
Let the muffins cool for a few minutes before removing from the tin.

Streusel - adapted from 'Good to the Grain'

1/8 cup whole wheat or red fife flour
1/8 cup unbleached, all purpose flour
2 tbsp brown sugar
dash of salt and cinnamon
3 tbsp unsalted butter, cold and cubed

Combine all ingredients and work it with your fingers, pinching gently until the butter mixes to form a crumbly texture.

You know me and my books.  I've got hang-ups about reading my books in the order that I get them.  It's just a thing.  I don't know why but it's my thing.  My BFF KT tells me that I read serious books a lot.  History, Politics, Environmental whathaveyou. For the record, I do read fun books sometimes too.  I've read all the Harry Potter books.  I've read 'Game of Thrones'.  Among some of my recent 'fun book' favourites is this series.  The accents read perfectly and Vish Puri is a fantastic character.
However, I've also been reading this book recently.  It's quite light in comparison to this book which made me want to build a bunker in the woods and wait for impending doom.  Joel's book, though light, has an edge.  This is no slouch.  This is a man who is a farmer as a vocation.  It's a calling.  He loves farming.  He loves the soil.  He loves the animals and he loves the life it provides him.  You feel that love in each page he writes.  You can also feel the depth of his frustration and his desperation to see the system, the system that we now call 'the food industry', change.


One chapter that has challenged me more than any other yet (I'm not finished reading it of course) is the one about energy.  He writes in depth about how cheap oil has changed how we think about expended energy.  When you can afford to pay for gas or oil.  When you don't have to think about where to get that gas or oil.  When you don't have to wonder if your horses can make it up that hill with their load or through the snow or whatever it is... well, that changes how we feel about energy in general.  We don't wonder about the energy that it takes to get from here to there, to make those plastic containers, to make our garbage disappear, to feed cattle in a factory farm all that shipped in grain... etc.
I decided that I'm going to make an even deeper effort to stop using the car.  Now I don't use it for much but I know that there are quite a few instances over the course of say a month where I could easily hop on my bike to run that errand or get the kids wherever.  We've got a bike trailer and Kid #1 is old enough now to keep up with me on her own bike.  So... off we go.


Our first trip of the year together on our bikes is downtown.  We're going to the bookstore and then to my BFF's house to watch the Olympic opening ceremony... and bring her some belated birthday cupcakes.  Just in case you were wondering, bike trailers don't have shocks per se.  They don't absorb the bumps like a car would so when you want to transport the lovely cupcakes with fresh raspberry cream icing you might also want to consider a better mode of carrying them than your tupperware cupcake holder.
FYI -  it doesn't work.  And you get very stressed out.
FYI #2 - your cupcakes will be completely sideways and/or upside down before you are anywhere near your destination.
FYI #3 - if you put them in the fridge after that the icing will stick to the tupperware and not back on the upside down cupcake.
FYI #4 - just go ahead and listen to your gut in the first place and carry the icing separately and ice them when you get there
FYI #5 - fortunately none of this affects the taste of the icing one little bit.
Another life lessons learned.


Raspberry Buttercream Icing adapted from 'SweetSavoryLife'
makes about 3 1/2 cups

1 cup butter (the higher the fat content the better) at room temperature
3 - 4 cups icing sugar
1/2 cup(ish) fresh raspberries, roughly mashed.

Beat the butter until it's a cream glob (just a minute or so).
Slowly add the icing sugar (if using a mixer turn down to 'low' speed) and once it's all added then mix more vigorously.
Add in the mashed raspberries.
Mix until everything is creamy, there are no lumps, and spreadable.
Spread or Pipe over a completely cooled cake or cupcakes.
Freeze whatever is leftover.

I'm thinking that the transformation is nearing 'critical mass' for me.  Well... 'nearing'.
 - I'm barely in a grocery store anymore.  When I am there the place feels almost stressful.  Have you ever thought about how much stuff is there?  Damn, it's so overwhelming.
 - I've got my little garden going.  Who knows how much stuff I'm going to get from it over the summer but it's always worth it.  In fact I have little potato plants breaking through the ground.
 - The local farmers market has started up - hello great cheese and sausage too ;-)
 - I'm scheming about this summer's canning already.  Going through my books and figuring myself out.  I'm going to buy an outdoor burner and reusable sealing lids as well.  More tomatoes/Less Pears... that kind of thing.

 I'm also seriously pondering how lucky I am.  I have so many fantastic options.  I can choose to grow food - as much as I want.
 - I have the choice to go to the market and to any number of small, local places that are committed to good, local food choices.
 - I have summer's free to do all this stuff.
 - I have a job that allows me (with some sacrifices albeit) to choose to eat the way I believe in.  I'm lucky.    I'm fortunate.  And I hope that I never forget it.

My approach to recipes has changed completely over the last two years as well.  I look at recipes on blogs or in cookbooks and think about how the combinations of food make no sense.  How can I have zucchini bread in the middle of winter?  How can I make strawberry cake in March?  Why am I serving  fresh tomato whatever in January.  The answer may well be that wherever that book or post is coming from has a longer or completely different growing season.  D's Mom for example has no concept of the growing season here in Canada.  She's from Trinidad and the growing season there is endless.  There is just very few things that are only available at certain times of year.  Here in Canada though I can only get fiddleheads for a couple of weeks or asparagus for maybe 3 - 4 weeks.  Rhubarb... well it's a little longer but then it's done.  It makes me so thankful for the beautiful things like rhubarb that make the spring so special.


I mixed these muffins with blueberries because a) the recipe did as well and b) I have last years wild blueberries still to finish in my freezer.  Otherwise, it would have been all rhubarb all the time.  Some of these muffins are going off to a family member who needs some 'cheering up' but otherwise they are staying right here with me.



Rhubarb and Blueberry Muffins adapted from 'Taste of Home' magazine

1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
3/4 cup sugar
1 lg egg
1/2 cup (full) milk
1 scant cup each rhubarb (chopped) and blueberries
Streusel - find the recipe here

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
Line about 10 muffin tin cups with paper or silicon liners.

In a bowl combine the flour, baking powder and salt.  Mix and set aside.
In another bowl beat together the butter and sugar until combined and light.  Add the egg and beat until light and fluffy.
Add the Flour and milk alternately to the butter/egg mixture beginning and ending with flour.
Fold the fruit gently into the batter.
Scoop the batter into the muffin cups.  Fill each cup just to the rim.  I got 9 in all.
Sprinkle each muffin with about 1 tbsp of streusel.
Bake for about 20 - 25 minutes.

It came over me like a fit.  I just saw the picture of these things and new immediately that I needed to make them.  It's such a weird things because I honestly can't think of any time in my life when I have craved a bran muffin.  My weirdest/funniest bran muffin memory - my sister is going to kill me - happened while I was living in Montreal.  I was ridiculously young and had only been living there for a few months when my Mom and my sister came to visit for a weekend.  I was super excited and planned a full itinerary of events, which fortunately included sleeping, that I thought we would all enjoy.  I had just discovered these restaurant/cafe thingies that focussed on serving desserts.  Great desserts.  And there was one of the best within walking distance (a good walk) from where I lived.  I was so excited to drag them to this dessert place.  The specialty was cheesecake and you could go to the showcase and check out what you wanted to order.  Awesome.  My sister was pretty young at the time  - she's ten years younger than me - probably about 10 or so.  It had been a pretty big day and she was feeling kinda out of it.  Either way when the server came to take our order I excitedly ordered my raspberry mousse cheesecake and a decaf cappuccino.  My Mom gave her order... something similar.  My sister was last and she ordered... a bran muffin.  Stop.  What.  A BRAN MUFFIN.  I couldn't believe it.  Nearly fell off my chair.  I brought my sister all this way to this awesome dessert place and she orders.... a bran muffin.  I got over the shock and I learned to appreciate that my sister and I could do weird things together (she was addicted to 'The Monkeys' and we watched 'Desperately Seeking Susan' so many times that she started watching it while hanging upside down just so that she could see what it looked like) and that in fact, she got a lot of her weirdness from me.


It still makes me laugh though.  I've kinda had this thing against bran muffins ever since and it honestly wasn't until I saw these bran muffins that I realised that its changed.  I no longer blame bran muffins for stealing my sisters opportunity to enjoy absolutely wonderful desserts.


What's cool about these muffins is that they're almost eggless and sugarless and you don't miss it at all.  They're really moist and tasty.  I LOVED that these muffins included dates instead of raisins.  Raisins aren't my thing.  I'm not a fan of the texture and how they get all weird when they're baked... whatever. Dates are hot.
So, I think that this bran muffin recipe marks a cool new time in my life.  One where bran muffins no longer represent what I'm missing out on - cool, awesome, light, mousse, dessert things - and are something that I kinda like... maybe my sister had it right all along.


Bran and Date Muffins adapted from Good Things Grow
makes about 9 medium sized muffins

1 cup dates, pitted and diced very fine
1/4 cup warm water
1/2 cup plain yogurt (I used organic greek yogurt)
2 generous tbsp honey or molasses
1/3 cup unsalted butter, melted
1 egg
1 cup wheat bran
1/4 cup all purpose flour
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp cinnamon

Line about 9 muffin cups with liners.
Combine the warm water and the finely diced dates.  Set aside for about 15 minutes.
Preheat oven to 75 degrees F.
Combine the wheat bran, both flours, baking powder, baking soda, salt and cinnamon together.  Mix and set aside.
Combine the yogurt, honey, melted butter and egg together and mix well.
Add the softened dates and water to the yogurt mixture.  Mix well.
Add the flour mixture to the yogurt mixture.  Stir until everything is just combined and all ingredients are wet.
Spoon batter just to the top of each muffin tin.
Bake for about 15 - 18 minutes or until the muffins feel kinda firm to the touch and a cake tester comes out clean.
Cool completely (or break them open warm and slather with something wonderful - think butter or cream cheese).  Store well covered or freeze for later use.

What's happening in my life:
I've joined Pinterest.  I don't know what it is really.  I don't know if 'joining' is a word that you use in reference to 'pinning' pictures... whatever.  It looks like a virtual vision board to me which feels ever so slightly lame but my sister joined and invited me and I joined because I love her.  Then I found out that all these other people give a crap about Pinterest too.  Weird.  So here I am.
I'm still biking... in February... in Toronto.  It looks like it's going to be that kind of winter this year.  So, I'm going to take advantage of it and try to push away all the guilt and fear surrounding what this means on a global scale (the guilt and fear are ebbed just a little by the cold snap in Europe - 'See Wanda, it's really really cold somewhere').
Kid #1 has gotten to the final round of a national short story competition.   She is going to be published no matter what and we are incredibly proud of her.  So at the ripe old age of 11 she has already performed on tv, sung with Michael Buble and been published.  What's next for god's sake?
I've been working on my jar pile in the cold room.  It's all been experimental this year.  All this canning and how much of certain things do we actually use and all that.  I already know FO' SHO' that I need double the amount of tomato stuff next year.  Probably a little less on the fruit front.  I've already finished my beet pickles (which were awesome and I'll do some for you soon) and my green tomato and tomatillo salsa is at the halfway point.  It's kinda fun, all this.  Oh yeah, and if anyone has some ideas for canned pears - please let me know.
Remember how a few posts ago I was telling you that I was L O V I N G this song?  (Incidently, they can to this stuff live - I know, right.)  We just found out that they're filming their music video tomorrow here in Toronto and they're looking for kids between 8 and 20.  Yup - kid #1 and I are going.  I know I'm not 20... shut-up.

I'm on a mission now to begin to work through my frozen summer harvest.  I've got bags of corn, green beans, broccoli, pesto, herbs, blueberries, peas, peaches... and other stuff I can't remember right now.  I figure that the end of February (well 2/3's of the way through) is as good a time as any to start clearing out in a serious way.


These cupcakes were 'created' in direct correlation to the freezer thing.  I had a huge, almost shockingly so, container of egg whites.  In fact, I didn't even use them all for this recipe.  So even though I love angel food cake and I'm tot's not scared of it now that I know to hang it upside down, I wanted cupcakes... with lemon.  I wanted to put cherries on top, one's that are also in my freezer, but I didn't un-freeze them in time.   Even though these don't get the upside down treatment they still held up pretty well.  Bite sized angel food... hell's yeah.



Angel Food Cupcakes adapted from "How Sweet It Is'
makes about 20 - 24 cupcakes

12 lg egg whites (about 1 1/2 cups)
1 1/2 tsp cream of tartar
3/4 cup sugar
2 tsp vanilla
1 3/4 cup icing sugar (sifted)
1 1/8 cup sifted cake and pastry flour
1/4 tsp salt
grated zest of 2 lemons
blueberries (I used frozen ones from last summer) or cherry pieces for the tops

Let the egg whites rest for at least one hour at room temperature (you can do up to 24 hrs easily).
Line about 24 cupcake tins and preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Sift together the icing sugar, flour and salt and set aside.
In a large bowl begin to beat the egg whites at medium speed using a mixer.  Once the whites are frothy add the cream of tartar and continue to beat until the mixture forms soft peaks (this took me about 10 minutes with my hand mixer).  Add the sugar slowly whilst continuing to beat.  Continue to beat until the mixture forms soft, droopy peaks.  Add in the vanilla and beat a little longer.
Slowly fold the flour mixture into the egg whites a half a cup at a time.  Fold gently and lovingly (!) until everything is mixed.  Fold in the lemon zest.
Pile the batter into each lined cupcake thingy.  I piled mine until they were just reaching the top of the liner.
Place a few blueberries or cherry pieces on top of each cupcake.
Bake for about 18 or so minutes or until the cupcakes look golden and are springy to the touch.
Remove from the oven and slather the tops with the lemon glaze while the cupcakes are still warm.
Cool before eating

Lemon Glaze

Juice from 2 lemons
1 1/2 cups icing sugar

Mix the lemon juice and icing sugar together in a heavy bottomed saucepan.  Heat over medium heat just until the mixture begins to simmer and then turn the heat down to low.  Continue to heat on low until the syrup begins to thicken (about 10 minutes).
Pour over cupcakes while they're still warm from the oven.