I need to take a moment here to talk about gif's. That's right - gif's.
gif's were this entity that I barely registered before a few months ago. I'm not on tumblr or twitter (no plans to either... yet... whatever) so these moving picture thingy's were usually part of replies/comments to articles that I read online. I barely ever looked at them really. And then I began to realize that they were pretty funny... sometimes really funny. Closely follow that with Kid #1 joining to bottomless hole that is tumblr which as far as I can tell is just a whole lot of young people having gif conversations, only occasionally accentuated with written language. I am taking more notice of these gif's. I realize that they are quite funny and smart-ass-like... right up my alley.
Recently, I had a conversation with a colleague in which she lamented that she couldn't easily text gif's from her phone. This was an epiphany moment for me.
I have never considered myself much of a computer/technology person - spreadsheets are still a source of endless frustration for me (why can't it fit on the computer screen properly or why aren't computer screens longer? why do the templates never work... you get the idea) The popularity of the internet though changed my interest in technology slowly but surely. I've learned to embrace the changes that technology offers - as much as I can - and am committed to continuing to learn despite my refusal to tumblr or tweet (really - I'm not a celebrity or business or whatever) The realization that I could now text my own gif's to friends or colleagues opened a whole new world of possibilities for me.
What if I could text and entire conversation of back and forth gif's
What if I could have an in-person conversation enhanced by the use of appropriate gif's
What if I could represent each of my student's mark with a gif instead of a mark

So far I am adding gif's to my texts as much as possible and only one person has texted me back in gif... it's a start
It's so obvious to me now that emoji's were really just a step along the road to conversing in gif. Emoji's are so cute. I read this article recently and I have to admit that it's gif is pretty awesome AND that D and I have totally had that argument about how to pronounce gif. If you have lots of time on your hands then scroll through the reply threads and enjoy the ensuing gif-storm.



As you all know well, Kid #1 and #2 were well disposed to eating these bars. The bars have all of the requisite sweetness and chocolate and none of the disgusting fruit and/or non-chocolate that send out the 'don't eat me' vibe.



Peanut butter, sweetened condensed milk, chocolate bars
adapted slightly from Crazy for Crust

1 1/2 cups unbleached, all purpose flour
1/2 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
3/4 cup peanut butter (smooth preferably but doesn't really matter)
3/4 cup (scant) brown sugar
1/4 cup sugar
1 egg
1 - 2 tbsp milk
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 can sweetened condensed milk
2 cups dark and milk chocolate mix

Preheat oven to 350°F
Line a ..... baking pan and and set aside.
Cream together the butter and both sugars until smooth and creamy.
Add in the egg and milk, salt and baking soda and mix well.
Add the flour and mix until it forms dough
Press about 1/2 - 2/3 of the dough into the bottom of the pan
Sprinkle the chocolate on top of the pressed dough
Pour the sweetened condensed milk evenly over the chocolate without getting it too close to the edges of the pan
Sprinkle the rest of the dough on top of the chocolate mixture (only press the dough in very lightly)
Bake for about 30 min (a little more depending on your oven)
Cool for 10 minutes before cutting.

I celebrated christmas again recently with my best friend.
It was February and we had not seen each other since December 14th.
We got about an hour and forty five minutes together.
We live about 15 minutes away from each other.
This is sad.
I totally understand it and then I kind of don't. We are busy. We are so busy. There is always something. Even meeting up with my best friend I squished it in between going to the running track and a family movie night (to be fair, it was family day weekend so what's a girl to do?) We work. We parent. We hustle home. Then there is winter. And I remember how the same thing happened last winter. We got a nasty ice storm just a couple of days before christmas and that set the tone for the entire 80 days to follow. Cold, icy, snow and more snow... and nobody wanted to do anything because it just felt so hard to get anywhere. You really do feel like hibernating. The bare essentials - get to work - get food - and that is it. This year the winter hasn't been quite as brutal but it hasn't exactly been easy. The cold has been relentless this year. This has taken it's toll.
Here we are looking down the barrel of March. The calendar has just as many events on it as it did throughout February, maybe even more. And yet something feels just a little bit different in my soul. I've noticed that night time is not chasing my back on the way home from work. I looked at the forecast for this week and it looks like we have a couple of days that are sitting right around the 0C mark. We've got a tidy little week off nestled in about two weeks before easter long weekend. If I had to put a word on that barrel that I'm looking down right now (the one for March - remember?) it would be 'Promise'. Promise is a funny word because it is not a definite. March might not bring me everything that I am hoping it can but at least there is the hope.
Back to our hour and forty five minutes christmas celebration. My best friends gift had been sitting, ready and waiting for months... except for this. Her cookies. These I made on the day that we met. I made sure that they were just cooled enough that I could put them into little freezer bags - 3 to a bag, the perfect portion amount - so that she could take them home and freeze away. She loves this kind of thing and I love doing it for her.


I can tell you that these come together easily and would be great for a party when they would all get scarfed up. I wouldn't bother with them if it was a dinner party thing and there were lots of other courses that could over shadow these little delicacies though - plus who wants to bake cracker cookies when you have a whole dinner party to get ready for? Serve these cookies with some Boursin, Blue Cheese (if that's your thing) or a spreadable something or other. As part of an appetizer or tasting party  - olives, grapes, cheeses, meats, spreads - Lovely.


Oat and Parmesan Cookies adapted from thekitchn

1 cup old fashioned oats (I used quick oats BTW and it was fine)
1/4 cup warm water
1/3 cup olive oil
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 lg eggs (or two egg whites if you've just made ice cream and you've got extra whites hanging around looking for something to do)
1 cup unbleached, all purpose flour
1 tsp salt
1 tsp basil
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp paprika
pinch black pepper
1 cup parmesan cheese grated (if you happen to throw in a little cheddar by accident I wouldn't be too upset)
coarse salt (maldon or sea salt)

Preheat oven to 350°F
Line a baking sheet with parchment or a silicon liner.
Combine the flour, salt, basil, baking soda, paprika and pepper together. Mix well and set aside.
Combine the oats and warm water and mix well.
Add in the olive oil and brown sugar and mix thoroughly until the brown sugar has dissolved.
Add in the egg and mix well.
Add the flour mixture to the oat mixture and mix until combined.
Add in the parmesan cheese and mix to combine.
Form into balls of about 1 1/2 tbsp or so then squish down into a cookie shape. Place on the baking sheet (they don't spread very much so they can be within an inch of each other) topping each with a little bit of coarse salt (might need to press it in a little)
Bake for about 15 - 17 minutes turning half way through baking. Cookies should be just turning golden brown at the edges.
Cool completely.

I have to start this post by stating that I have decided to experiment with using only 1 space after a period. This decision has been made in an attempt at hiding my age.
Looking back over my last few posts I have realised that there are only baked goods and sweets showing up here. It's given me pause to think about why that might be. Obviously we have cooked more than our fair share of meals and we have not been eating cookies and ice cream for dinner every night. Not any night in fact. I think that recently I have felt completely uninspired at best and disengaged at worst. The odd thing is that I have made some really good stuff. In the fall I let myself experiment with lamb by making a roast leg of lamb which turned out beautifully. A pork dish seasoned with a generous marinate of worcestershire and soy sauce, garlic, ginger and pepper sauce. Rave review. Recently I threw together some leftover roast chicken and slow cooked vegetables to make a pasta sauce. Beautiful. So why do I feel uninspired and apathetic about what I have churned out? And why don't I post about them even when they turn out well. Here are some of my ideas:
1. I don't feel like the pictures will turn out well. It is kinda hard to take an inspiring shot of sauce on pasta (am I wrong here?) or a hunk of meat on a plate... or in a roast pan. Perhaps I need to expand my photographic horizons or just start taking pictures of vegetables and leave it at that
2. I'm tired from making all the damn food (I don't actually think this is true) but I am tired
3. I don't even feel like eating the food myself (this is true unfortunately. Hummus and toast usually wins... and have I told any of you about my new obsession with grapes and cherry tomatoes?)
4. I am feeling uninspired and apathetic about life and I can't even blame winter for that one - although it certainly is not helping
5. My kids are using the computer too much. Perhaps I need to have my very own computer - one of these will do fine, thanks for asking
6. There is not enough room in my brain. I need an upgrade to get more space... or something needs to go to clear some space... no kids... no job... just tossing around some ideas. In truth, I think that this is probably the best answer so far.  It's not that there is no down time it's that the down time is still parenting and all the taxiing to this, that and the other in addition to the chores that need to get done - well that's not really head clearing time is it

These are some classy ass measuring cups that my Mom got me for Christmas.  Awesomest.

So there it is.  Mystery solved. Here is the funniest part - my kids don't even really like the stuff I'm baking. At least they are not terribly interested in eating it. I think they've grown totally accustomed to it and would much rather have a snickers bar than home baked cookies. I had to send about 80% of this snacking cake to school with kid #1. Her friends at school probably think that home baked stuff is a novelty and that it tastes much better than the orea cookies my kids are constantly begging for. She is 14 so after sharing with all of her friends I have some new love interests and someone else wants to make me a superhero costume... my super power being doing shit with bananas and chocolate - meh, could be worse.
For the record - I had to go back through this post and erase an extra space after almost every single period. Including the one in the first paragraph.


This was my original post idea... then I discovered that every single solitary photo I took blew huge chunks.
Banana oat snacking cake adapted form Bon Appetit
makes 1 8x8 square cake

1 1/2 cups oats (I used a combo of quick and classic rolled oats)
1 cup unbleached, all purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
dash nutmeg

1 1/4 cup brown sugar
2 eggs (I used 1 egg and 2 egg whites)
6 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
3 ripe bananas, peeled and coarsely chopped
5 oz dark chocolate, coarsely chopped (or use chips)

Grease and flour an 8x8 square baking dish. Set aside
Preheat the oven to 350°F
Combine the oats, flour, baking powder, salt and cinnamon together.  Mix until combined and set aside.
In a large bowl beat together the brown sugar and eggs until they are a creamy caramel colour and smooth.  About 2 minutes.
Add in the melted butter and beat together for another minutes.
Fold in the flour mixture just until all the ingredients are wet.
Gently fold in the chopped banana and chocolate.  Fold in just until mixed.
Pour into the prepared pan and spread evenly.
Bake for about 35 minutes, turning half way through baking.
Cool in pan for about 15 minutes before removing.  Cool a little longer before eating or don't... eat it warm... with ice cream... thank me later.

This is the recipe that goes with the photos you are seeing...
Pretzel, milk chocolate brownies adapted from Alice Medrich via Sassy Radish

1/2 cup all purpose flour
1 tsp salt
pinch of cayenne and a larger pinch of cinnamon
1/2 cup plus 2 tbsp unsalted butter
1 1/4 cup sugar
3/4 cup plus 2 tbsp dark cocoa
2 lg eggs cold
1 cup large chunks of milk chocolate
3/4 cup (or so) broken bits of pretzels

Preheat oven to 325°F
Line an 8x8 baking pan with parchment or butter and flour it and set it aside.
Combine the flour, salt and cinnamon together and set aside
Combine the butter, sugar and cocoa together in a heat proof bowl. Place over lightly simmering water and stir until butter is melted and everything is combined. It shouldn't be too hot and will be gritty looking.
Add the eggs one at a time whisking well after each addition. Once the mixture looks silky add in the flour mixture and whisk just until it's mixed in and you can't see flour anymore.
Poor the batter into the prepared pan. Sprinkle the chocolate chunks and the pretzels on top of the batter.
Bake for about 28 - 33 minutes (mine was done around 28 minutes) depending on how gooey you want your brownies.
Cool before removing from the pan - unless you think it's cool that they break apart like mine did.

It seems fitting that on this last day of summer I post these muffins.  There is just something right about it.  Cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg... it's screams 'Fall'.  Otherwise, there isn't a whole lot out there screaming Fall just yet... unless you count the Christmas crap all over the stores.
This weekend happened like many others - me having no plan whatsoever for what I want to accomplish.  I thought about painting a room... didn't happen.  I considered cleaning out the junk drawer... nope.  I did (fortunately) clean some clothes and get the floors swept a couple of times.  We also managed to throw in a play date.  Kid #2 has changed schools and now attends the same school where I teach/work - yes, that is just a little crazy.  Even though his old school is right across the street from us we haven't been able - for one reason or another - to get together with any of his old friends.  This past weekend though he got on the horn and had a friend over for a play date.  Play date sounds weird and formal.  They hung out together.  I don't particularly like play dates.  Mostly because it involves kids.  I don't hate kids or anything, I just don't particularly like them.  When I'm tired and it's been a long week it's even worse.  Kids are loud and messy and sometimes I just can't.  This weekend happened to be one of those times when I just couldn't.  Being a superlative Mom though means that you just suck it up once in a while and take one for the team.  As it turns out, indoor play dates can be wonderful motivation for me to get some much needed yard work done.  I happily spent a couple of hours of said play date outside while they yelled and had fun inside (so long as nothing gets broken I'm cool).  Two bags of clippings later and the yard looks great.  I suspect that if they had come outside my motivation might have disappeared.  It's possible that a mop and bucket might have looked tempting at that point - god knows, I wouldn't be able to turn on a tv screen without the couch magically filling up with kids.


I made these muffins before the play date.  Kid #1 knows now not to make a face when they ask what I'm baking and the answer is something involving fruit.  She knows because she has experienced my response on more than one occasion and she knows because she has tasted the results.  You can't always judge a book by it's humble, fruity cover.  Sometimes it tastes good.  Not every single thing has to have chocolate in it or on it.  She also knows that one bite will usually shut me up if I'm gotten all hissy about it.  Kid #2 - not so smart yet.  Doesn't even try to hide the face.  Won't even give that fruity thing a single bite.  Incurs the wrath of Mom every time.  The plate of muffins stayed on the table for the duration of the play date untouched.  Apparently mine aren't the only kids who believe that anything made without chocolate is probably not edible.  Comforting.


He ate a half a muffin before bed (couldn't stand the Mom attitude any more).  The entire half.



Apple Crumb Muffins adapted from Pip & Ebby

2 cups unbleached, all purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/8 tsp cloves
1/8 tsp nutmeg

2/3 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup sugar
1/2 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
2 eggs
1/4 cup (generous) milk or cream
1 1/2 cups (1 lg) apple, cored and cut into 1/2 inch cubes

Topping

1/2 cup unbleached, all purpose flour
1/2 cup oats (I used quick oats for this one)
1/3 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup melted butter

Preheat oven to 350°F
Line a dozen (or so) muffin cups with liners and set aside.
Combine the flour, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, cloves and nutmeg together.  Mix and set aside.
Combine the brown sugar, sugar and butter in a large bowl.  Beat (or mix) together until light and fluffy.  Add in the eggs and continue to beat until well incorporated and fluffy.  Add the milk or cream and mix well.
Add the flour mixture to the egg mixture.  Using a mixer or a large whisk continue mixing until the flour is completely incorporated and the mixture is thoroughly wet.
Add in the apples and fold until well mixed.
Fill muffin cups just to the upper edge.
Sprinkle each with about 1 1/2 tbsp (I used large spoonfuls) of topping and press it down just a little.
Bake for about 25 - 30 minutes or until a tester comes out of the middle muffins clean.
Cool before removing

Topping:
Mix the flour, oats and brown sugar together.
Add the melted butter and mix until it forms little clumps.  Set aside to use on the muffins.

It's been a while... a long while.  I've had this recipe sitting unpublished for a long time.  Truth is that things just got really busy.  This sounds lame I realize but it's the truth.  Another truth is that my kids have been using the computer a lot and once they are done using the computer it's late (or it feels like it) and my brain has nothing left in it (sad face).  Also, I've been away on tour with the crazy school I work for.  It's a concert tour of course, so while I'm chaperoning half of the grade 9 class I am also the designated stage manager for all concerts... easy right?  Then there's that other thing where my kitchen is getting slowly ripped out.  This is a good thing of course but it takes a long time and it's messy and although I'm really excited about what it's going to look like once it's done, it hasn't added to my kitchen malaise.  This brings me to yet another truth - my kitchen malaise.


I don't know what to do.  I don't care about eating or cooking or baking.  I'm phoning it in.  Going through the motions.  Looking after the bare necessities.  Reality is though that I have not even the remotest interest in getting creative.  I am being driven by pure need and nothing else.  The only redeeming moment was when I finally and (hopefully) forever jumped over the hurdle that is 'Trinidad Pelau'.  I think that I've got it... and yes, I will share eventually.  It is totally worth sharing.
Here I am sitting in my ripped up house, trying to feel happy that it's spring (I think... I hope) finally, hearing about garlic scapes and stinging nettle and whatever else is popping up out of the newly thawed earth and none of it is doing anything for me.  Not peaking my interest in the slightest.


I am equal parts hand wringing and apathetic.
I haven't even made ice cream.  This should give you some idea as to how serious the problem is.
I'm sure that this all will pass.  It will.  Meanwhile, about a month ago the banana convention in the freezer started to get rowdy again and I had to drum up something to do with them.  The freezer party happened to coincide beautifully with a popcorn blitz that kid #1 was experiencing.  I remembered reading a recipe that combined both with chocolate and managed to gather enough energy and inspiration to throw this cookie recipe together.

Who can resist a face like this?  I will admit to being inspired by it just a little.

Banana, Oatmeal, Chocolate Chunk, Popcorn Cookies adapted from 'Supernatural Everyday'
makes about 2 1/2 doz medium sized cookies

1 1/2 cups oats
1 1/2 cups unbleached, all purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp salt

3 overripe bananas
1/4 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
1 egg
3/4 cups sugar
1 tbsp vanilla

1 cup chocolate chunks (dark chocolate - about 70% cocoa solids)
2 cups (approx) popped corn

Combine the oats, flour, baking powder, cinnamon and salt together.  Mix well and set aside.
Preheat the oven to 350°F.
Line a cookie sheet with parchment or a silicon liner.
Mix together (I used a hand mixer) the bananas and butter for about 1 minute or until the butter is completely combined with the banana.  Add in the egg and sugar and continue to mix until completely combined.  Add the vanilla and stir to mix.
Add the oat/flour mixture and mix together by hand until completely incorporated together.
Add in the chocolate and mix well.
Gently fold in the popcorn little by little until the batter can't take any more.
Drop onto the prepared cookie sheet in about 2 tbsp heaps leaving about 1 1/2 inches in between each mound.
Bake for about 14 minutes or until the cookies are turning golden at the edges.
Cool and store in an airtight container.

True Story:
I had a small epiphany at work the other day.  It was a personal epiphany as opposed to a work related epiphany.  I'm not even sure that's a thing.  Sometimes I think about things other than work while at work... it's a bad habit and I'm working on it.  So, I have a colleague who loves to come to my office about 10 minutes before I'm planning to leave.  He comes in, plops himself down and sets in for a nice ole chat.  Since he's probably the sweetest person on the planet, I tell myself that it's ok.  Even though I'm super busy trying to wrap things up and get out the door so that I can pick my kid up from school.  It's ok - keep chatting.  Tell me more... I'm changing my shoes under my desk where he won't see.  I'm trying really hard not to check my phone every 15 seconds to see what the time is.  I'm working even harder to quell the rising tide of panic in my chest.  I smile back at him but I'm only thinking about how to slow down my breathing.  When he finally makes his way back to his own office, I wait to hear his door close and then bolt.  Bolt to the subway station.  It's not until I'm on the train that I finally feel calmness restored.
In speaking to another colleague about it, how conflicted I feel because he's so sweet and how weird I feel inside when it's happening, I realized something kinda cool.  When I was a kid I took skating lessons.  I loved skating and still do.  I only stopped skating lessons because when I was about ten the demands just got too intense and none of us (Mom and Dad and me) were willing to commit the kind of time and effort that it demanded.  When I started doing lessons I was about seven - still have the super cute pictures of me in my little skating suit with the top hat for my first end of year skating show.  My skating class was at a time when the zamboni was scheduled to come on after and clear the ice - or maybe the zamboni does it's thing after every class... whatever.  It was coming on.  So even though my skating class was clear across the rink, far away from the exit off the ice and my teacher was still talking and/or showing us some super cool move once I sensed movement from behind the zamboni gates I was moving.  Can't explain it really.  I wanted to yell that it was time to end, tell everybody to start getting themselves off the ice - yep, the gates are opening now, he's ready and he's coming - why is the teacher still talking - we have to go - he's started the engine now and my teacher is still telling us about our ankles(!) - ok that's it... and Wanda is backwards skating away from her class, across the rink, towards the exit.  Wanda's teacher is calling her back but she ignores it because she is getting away from that zamboni damn it.  You all can stay but I'm leaving... Wanda out.  Panic.  I was having an anxiety attack at seven.  Almost everyday at work at about the same time I have a little mini I-have-to-get-out-of-here-now anxiety attack.
And now I know.


The moral of this story is: When experiencing daily anxiety attacks (or not) it helps to make cookies. You can eat them if you choose but you don't have to (I usually don't).

BTW - this song is haunting me.



Peanut Butter, Chocolate and Sugar Cookies adapted from 'Averie Cooks'
makes about 2 dozen med/small cookies

1 cup peanut butter
3/4 cup brown sugar
1 lg egg
1 tbsp vanilla
1 tsp baking soda
4 oz dark chocolate chunks
2 oz milk chocolate chunks

Line a cookie sheet with a silicon liner or parchment and set aside.
Preheat oven to 350°F.
In a large bowl mix together the peanut butter, brown sugar, egg and vanilla until light and fluffy and no longer grainy.  I used a hand mixer for about two minutes but be careful not to over beat because then the oil will start to separate from the peanut butter... gross - not the end of the world as it won't ruin the recipe, it's just oily.
Once mixed until light and fluffy then fold in the chocolate until reasonably mixed (there should be lots of chocolate)
Spoon about 1 1/2 tbsp full into your hand and form a ball.
Place balls on cookie sheet, leaving a little space between each.
Bake for about 8 minutes or until the cookie edges are just beginning to brown.
Remove cookies carefully (they'll be gooey) and cool on wire racks.

The banana convention in my freezer is slowly but surely coming to a close.  This banana thing is starting to feel a little bit like the thanksgiving turkey episode... the never ending story.  The one difference between banana's and turkey being that with banana's you can add chocolate and/or icing.  This difference means that it will most definitely get eaten as opposed to the maybe it might get eaten but I'm not really sure.
I'm hoping that there are a few of you out there who are glad and maybe even grateful for the banana recipes.  For the rest of you (us - 'cause I'm kinda sick of them too) I would like to take a moment to explain why I do what I do here.
Sometimes (ie. almost never) I plan a recipe specifically for this blog.  The other 99% of the time what I post on this blog happens to be what I was inspired to make based on what needs to get cooked or baked or some kind of special occasion.  I guess that still makes this a food blog but not a 'special' food blog - or maybe it is.  You get what we eat.  I'm not fancying things up for the blog, sometimes we get fancy and sometimes we don't.  I like to think, in my more optimistic moments, that simple and homey is great and maybe even what people want.  They want to see what you are eating and that's why they check the blog out. In my more pessimistic moments, I feel a little depressed because I have so little time to put things for this blog together.  I wonder who eats everything that other bloggers post (every day/every other day!!) and how they find time to make it, take the pictures and write something coherent before sending it out into the big wide web world.  Sometimes getting one post out feels like I had to bank time for an entire week and even then I'm juggling lego being shoved into my face and a 13 yr old constantly asking for something that inevitably involves money and going somewhere.  So yeah, you see what we eat.  That being said, we have eaten more than banana bread and birthday cake around here - although nothing would make my kids happier.  I haven't gotten around to taking pictures (especially when it's dark by 4:45) and writing down recipes.


Back to bananas:
Now that the freezer convention has been whittled down to 4 from the previous 15 this recipe should mark the close of the banana marathon for a while at least.  I'm saying 'should' which gives me an out because you never know.  Kid #1 has completed her high school auditions and has gotten into her first choice for the music program.  This may mean that some kind of celebration is in order and the celebration may mean cake.  If there is some way to throw those last few bananas into cake then I'll go for it.  Then there is the dinner we are invited to next weekend where they said not to bring anything but who really means that?  Of course you have to bring something.  It could include wine but it could also include something involving bananas.


Double Chocolate Banana Loaf adapted from Martha Stewart
makes 1 loaf

1 2/3 cup less 3 tbsp unbleached, all purpose flour
3 tbsp dark cocoa powder
3/4 tsp salt
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
1 1/4 cup sugar
1/3 cup egg whites or two eggs, room temperature
1 tsp vanilla
3 med, overripe bananas, peeled and mashed
2 tbsp whipping cream or sour cream
5 oz dark chocolate, chopped


Preheat oven to 350°F
Grease and flour a loaf pan and set aside.
Combine the flour, cocoa powder, salt and baking powder together and set aside.
Beat together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy - about 3 minutes or so. Add in the egg and continue to beat for another 2 minutes.
Add the vanilla and banana and beat together for another minute or until everything is completely incorporated.
Fold in the cream until incorporated.
Add the flour mixture and whisk in by hand until completely incorporated together.
Fold in the chopped chocolate just until evenly distributed.
Pour the batter into the prepared pan and spread evenly.  Do a little drop onto the counter top to get out the air bubbles.
Bake for about 50 minutes or until a cake tester comes out of the middle clean.
Cool for about 15 minutes in the pan before removing to cool on a rack.

I am typing furiously in a desperate attempt to ignore the panic that is slowly but steadily rising in my soul.  Snow.  We have snow and copious amounts of it.  It has been falling since the morning and although it is now later afternoon, has not abated.  I'm guessing 8cm so far.  D has a gig tonight out of town and I have to head with kid #2 to a concert being given by kid #1's choir.  I want to curl up in a blanket and watch a movie, allowing me to look at the falling and blowing white stuff safe and snug inside my house.  The true source of my panic however is the immediate change in lifestyle that will begin now and extend probably into the end of February - if I'm lucky.  I am watching my biking days go bye bye and I won't be running for a few days until this snow gets cleared.  Wait just a second, I need to go and breath into a paper bag.
It's not that I'm addicted but I'm addicted.  It feels good to be active.  Really really good.  It feels like I've got some control over my life and that's because it probably releases some endorphins or some kind of crap that makes me feel like everything is awesome.  Running and biking also gives me a precious few minutes all by my little lonesome.  Something that is a rare commodity for me.  When it is gone it feels like something has been stolen and I'm a little emptier for it.  The good news is that the temps are supposed to have risen above freezing in a few days so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this snow will pass if only for a little while... it is December after all.  I'm supposing that makes me some kind of grinch or something.  Who doesn't want snow at Christmas?
Speaking of Christmas... it's coming soon so I'm told.  One of my co-workers (who obviously doesn't read my blog!) asked me whether I had my turkey.  I told her that if I didn't see a turkey for an undetermined - but long - period of time that it wouldn't hurt my feelings at all.  Turkey for Christmas?  No way.  We are so sick of turkey thanks to the 18lbs of it that I can now proudly tell you, we have eaten our way through.  This recipe marked the last bag of turkey in the freezer.  Somehow we made our way through 6 bags of the stuff.  I've forgotten exactly how we whittled our way through and much of it I have chronicled here.  Truth is that even though I've marked this as 'leftover #6' this is really about number nine or ten.  Some of my leftover use-ups were really not good at all and I didn't have to heart to bother with them here.


Good news, these turkey buns didn't suck.  In fact, I'm told that they were good.  Really good.  D told me that they were amazing.  The kids didn't even care that they were turkey.  Didn't even ask.  Eight or nine or ten leftover recipes later and I have finally hit the jackpot.  Originally, I wanted to make a sweet and sour pulled pork kind of thing with the turkey but that would have required making something else to go with it.  You know a bun or noodles or whatever.  For one reason or another, I just couldn't bring myself to do it and started to concentrate intently on what a solution could be.
I made these things called beef margaritas a million years ago and posted the recipe here.  They were a huge hit and I haven't made them since.  I thought it would be worth giving them a whirl with bbq'd turkey and decided to take the leap.  Paid off.
Yay for big jumps, paper bags and no more turkey.



BBQ Turkey Buns
serves 4 - 6
makes about 10 buns

Use the dough recipe from this post

1/2 cup onion, diced
3 cloves garlic
1 stalk celery, diced
2/3 cup (about 1) red pepper, diced
1 cup mushrooms, stalks removed and diced
2 1/2 cups cooked turkey, diced
1 bouillion cube, crushed up (I used a veggie one)
3 tbsp worcestershire sauce
2 tbsp soy sauce
2 tbsp mixed herbs (parsley, marjoram, oregano, rosemary)
2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
3 heaping tbsp brown sugar
1/2 cup ketchup
1/4 cup bbq sauce
1 tbsp dijon mustard
1 1/2 tsp salt
pepper sauce (optional)


Heat a large pot or dutch oven over medium heat.
Add some oil or grease (about 1 1/2 tbsp)
Add the onion and celery.  Saute for about 3 minutes.  Add the garlic, red pepper and mushrooms.  Add another 1 1/2 tbsp of oil or grease and turn the heat down to med/low.
Cook together, stirring regularly, for about 5 minutes or until the pepper and mushrooms begin to soften and caramelize.
Add in the diced turkey and stir to mix.
Add the bouillon cube, worcestershire, soy sauce and mixed herbs.  Stir and cook together for a few minutes.
Add the apple cider vinegar and brown sugar and cook together for another 2 minutes.
Add the ketchup, bbq sauce, mustard, salt and pepper sauce.
Cook together for about 7 minutes at low heat but the mixture should still be simmering to allow it to thicken up a bit.  If it's too thick then add a couple of tbsp's of water.
Check the taste and adjust if necessary.  Set aside to cool.
Preheat the oven to 350° F.
Line a cookie sheet with parchment or a silicon liner.
Prepare the dough and then roll it out in a rectangle shape to about a 1/2 inch thickness.
Spread the meat mixture over the rectangle of dough.
Roll up the dough from long edge to long edge.
Slice the log about 1 1/2 - 2 inches thick and place each roll sideways on the baking pan leaving some room in between each roll.
Bake for about 35 minutes or until the rolls have risen and spread out and the edges have browned nicely.
Remove and cool for about 10 minutes before breaking them apart and serving.

It's officially winter and two weeks away from Christmas.  Two out of three December birthdays have passed and I have a total of 5 events left until I can breath a sigh of relief.  I've 'stretched' myself in new directions at work more than I ever thought I could.  I'm still biking and running out there in the cold (but I won't tell you I like it) and generally keeping active.  My kids are happy and doing well.  I should be contented and happy about all of this and I suppose that somewhere deep down I really am.  The problem is, I haven't been able to take it all in yet.  At least that's how it feels.  The pace just hasn't let up enough for me to absorb it.
Happily, the pace did not prevent me from making chocolate mousse cake for D's birthday.  Add to that the sweet and sour meatballs meal that was requested (we do that for birthdays - favourite meal kinda thing)  It also did not keep us from ordering a lovely flower arrangement for my Mom's birthday... but that was thanks to D.  In fact, D is doing a lot of things right now while I learn how to stage manage concerts and organize events and get Cantors ready for Christmas Masses.  D is getting the tree (and possibly trimming it).  D has ordered the Ham (and will probably be picking it up too).  D has organized our Christmas Day family get together.  Guess who's going to be doing the bulk of the christmas shopping?  If it weren't for D then I would be treeless, presentless, hamless mess on December 20th.  As we slowly approach the 20th, I try not to dwell too much on how awesome that first sleep in and morning coffee is going to feel because then I get more depressed.
One of the things that I'm looking forward to most is being able to take a day or two (or four) and bake.  I don't want to eat the baking.  Couldn't care less - I just want to bake and for some reason the thought of baking cookies holds the most anticipation.  I can't wait to make my traditional christmas cookies and this year I want to add my Grandmother's shortbread to the list.  I want to have the ingredients surrounding me and be stirring and mixing and breaking eggs.  I want to feel the warmth of the oven and hear the comforting tick of the timer.  I want to see all of those cookies piled up into containers and enjoy how lovely they all look together.

Just a part of the cookie carnage.

I made these cookies in a one hour window on a Sunday afternoon where I had both time and light on my side.  Barely though and in my haste to get a photo of the cookies I dumped a few on the floor... it happens.  These will be a lovely addition to anyone's christmas cookie party and I might even make them again before the year is out.  However, I will make sure that when I carry them out to take pictures that I walk carefully.  Also, kids will eat molasses cookies when you put white chocolate in them.  FYI.


Molasses and White Chocolate Cookies adapted (slightly) from Peabody
makes about 3 dozen med/small cookies

2 cups unbleached, all purpose flour
1 cup oats (old fashioned)
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 tsp ginger (I used fresh but ground is fine)
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
pinch of cloves
3/4 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup molasses
1 lg egg
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup (scant) white chocolate chips
1/4 cup sugar - the coarser the better (mix with a little cinnamon)

Combine the flour, oats, baking soda, salt, ginger, cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves together.  Mix and set aside.
Beat together the butter and brown sugar for about 3 - 4 minutes or until light and fluffy.  Add the molasses and continue to beat for another 2 minutes.  Add the egg and vanilla and beat until combined (about 1 1/2 minutes)
Add the flour mixture to the molasses mixture and stir/mix to combine completely.  Add in the white chocolate chips and mix evenly.  Cover completely with plastic wrap and refrigerate for about 4 hours (or overnight)
Preheat the oven to 350°F
Line a cookie sheet with parchment or a silicon liner.
Scoop spoonfuls (I used about a tbsp and a half) of dough onto the cookie sheet.  Press each cookie down a little and sprinkle with the cinnamon sugar
Bake for about 10 minutes - cookies may be a little softish in the centre but the edges should be just turning brown.
Remove and cool.
Store in a airtight container.

It seems odd that with all of the baking that I haven't been doing, the one night of the year that I stress myself out just a little by baking is Hallowe'en.  The very night that my kids get more candy and chocolate than they could possibly deserve and most definitely more than they can get through.  And there I am, baking chocolate banana bread.
I'm sure that you've heard of my bah-humbug sort of attitude towards most holidays and hallowe'en is no exception.  I'm not anti-hallowe'en by any means either.  It's an odd sort of balance that I manage to strike where I kind of care about some details and absolutely don't care about others.  I don't think that hallowe'en is something to be afraid of and avoided.  I only wish that maybe it was seen in a more traditionally mystical and creepy whole.  The coolest thing about Hallowe'en is that it's really about protecting yourself from evil spirits.  Warding them off by dressing as them.  Hallowe'en is followed directly by All Saints in which the saints and even saintly are remembered and sometimes venerated.  All Saints is followed on November 2nd by All Soul's Day where those gone before are remembered - in some countries candles are laid by their graves and an extra place is set at the table for them.  I suppose it birthed from ancestor worship but it's kind of creepy, weird and cool.  Hallowe'en would make a whole lot more sense if it were widely considered part of the trilogy of Oct 31/Nov 1/Nov 2.  But, it's not.  Probably because some retailer couldn't think of a way to make enough money off of candles to push a serious marketing campaign.  Now hallowe'en has been reduced to kids going from door to door holding out a bag to get candy dumped into and naughty nurse costumes.

Really.  This is as creepy as it gets.

We take Kid #2 out for his jaunt up and down our street.  Kid #1 is old enough now that she is doing her thing with her friends and has a curfew of 9pm (!)  We've always been the kind of couple who needs full support for each other in these situations so we don't go in for one of us sitting at home sipping mulled wine and handing out chocolate while the other wades through the trenches of the populated sidewalks.  Nope - we do it together.  The lights at our house go out and we leave, taking out Kid #2 and having each other to lean on.  Once kid #2 gets bored (which thankfully seems to occur after about 45 min) we head back home.  Kid #2 sorts and counts the candy, D takes his coffee crisp tax from each bag and we sit back and have a beer (or two) while we wait for Kid #1 to come home and start the sorting and tax taking process all over again.  Beer helps.


The next day (All Saints), Kid #2 was heading off with his class to The Royal Winter Fair and Kid #1 was just going to school.  My kids were probably the only ones that day who showed up with homemade banana bread for lunch instead of 4 crispy crunch's, 2 cheesy goldfish pkg's and 1 jolly rancher but they didn't complain.  I went out and bought some candles.


Chocolate, Chocolate Chunk Banana Bread adapted only a little from Joy of Baking

I'm going to go out on a limb here and make a difficult confession.
I am not a fan of pumpkin.
I know.  I know.  I should be a fan of pumpkin.  It's absolutely unseasonal of me.  But seriously though, am I the only person who feels almost overwhelmed and definitely inundated with pumpkin recipes.  They are everywhere and everything.  Every time I check pinterest it feels like half of the recipes jumping out at me are pumpkin something or other.  Every cooking/baking blog is chock full of pumpkin this and that.  From bread to brownies, it's pumpkin coming at me.  There is literally a pumpkin version of just about everything.  I'm waiting for pumpkin toothpaste to make an appearance.  What am I thinking, it's probably already out there.
I haven't ever analyzed why I'm not a fan of pumpkin so much.  It's not necessarily unappealing to me I guess.  I absolutely don't crave it however.  Other than pumpkin pie I can't remember anything being made with pumpkin when I was a kid.  I guess you just didn't do it.  There was no Pinterest to give us all of these crazy pumpkin recipes after all.  We just ate oreo's and cheezeez instead.  And lots and lots of chocolate chip cookies.  Not pumpkin chocolate chip cookies.  It doesn't smell like a sweet dessert thing to me either.  When I cook pumpkin (almost never) I don't immediate think 'cake' when I look at it mashed or smell it.  How it ever made it's way into a bowl of sugar and got dumped into a pie crust I'll never know.  Having said all of that, I may well chow down on a slice of pumpkin bread if someone offered it to me and a pumpkin muffin might go nicely with a morning coffee.  But so would a lot of other things.
While I'm not out there dumping pumpkin into my latte's (or any other flavoured-with-anything-other-than-coffee coffee for that matter), I do use a lot of fruit and whatever in my baking... when I bake.  Let's be clear, unless it contains chocolate in some clearly visible form it won't get eaten.  Yes, there are lots of things that get made in our kitchen but not eaten (at least in their entirety).  Recently, Kid #2 begged that I make some cookies, 'and not the healthy kind' he added.  By healthy he means with anything other than chocolate, white flour or chocolate chips.  After 7 months, give or take, of almost no baking and definitely precious little of the chocolate-chocolate chip-white flour variety, I decided that everybody was likely due a little treat.  These cookies are me obliging the request.  Kid #2 shared a few cookies with a friend from school who came over for a play date.  He told his friend that they were the best cookies in the world... and they are already gone.


Eaten.
Done.


No pumpkin added.


Chocolate Decadence Cookies adapted from 'Chewy Gooey Crispy Crunchy' Alice Medrich

That moment when you are about to write a blog post because something, some silly little thing, inspired you and then you realise that you haven't typed in the recipe yet.  Yup.  Sunk.  I only typed in part of the recipe.  The easy part.  My Heart sinks.
You see, this recipe has been kinda doomed since the beginning.  To start with, I really didn't have enough peaches.  I should have used fresh ones.  It would be best with fresh ones.  Then you look at the muffins with all of that muesli on top and they look too damn healthy.  You know, all of that doomed crap.  We were all underwhelmed by them.  They wanted to be more, they wanted to be spiced and spruced.  Add in a dash of cinnamon and cardamom or something exciting.  If you're a food blogger then you can go ahead and do that for me.  Post the recipe and you can say that you 'adapted' your recipe from me.  That would be cool.  You have my permission.  The one thing that these muffins were is fluffy.  I tried a half of one.  Kid #1 had a whole one.  Done.  I contemplated taking them to work but then I didn't feel like 'cause I only want to share with people I like and that can get kind of sticky.  So they just got eaten ridiculously slowly and then not eaten at all.
Then I saw these adorable pictures from this other blogger who posted peach muffins.  Which is cool because our muffins are different (whatever) and yeah, that totally happens in the blogosphere.  And her pictures make me think that maybe I should put cute little bears or butterflies in my pictures.  I'm completely rethinking my photo focus and feeling super second rate... maybe balloons would be nice.

Not an adorable plastic pig in sight.

Let's not even talk about how it's not really even peach season anymore.  Fresh peaches are a thing of the past here.  This gets me feeling super depressed that I haven't canned one single thing this year.  Not one.  Nothing.  Truth is, I can't face it.  The thought of doing 4 bushels of tomatoes is making me want to leave my lunch in the toilet.  But it still doesn't prevent me from feeling the loss and failure of leaving it out of my life completely.  D has given me permission to let it go - he doesn't think that I get an F for buying canned tomatoes this year.  That's a relief.  So, there it is.  Bye Bye peach season.
Then my weekend was a total write-off.  Ended up having to work.  Ended up being a single parent.  Ended up seeing a friend go into the hospital with an emergency brain aneurysm.  Ended up feeling ridiculously sorry for myself.  Ended up looking for therapists online.  So by 10pm Sunday night when I really only had that tiny little morsel of inspiration to go on, the floor dropped out from under me when I realised that I still needed to type in the recipe instructions.   I keep telling myself to type it all in when I first make it so that it's all done.  You never go back to it later... or you hate yourself when you do.  And yet, here I am again.
So I'm deciding that life is short and if I'm going get all up in my freak about this then I'd better just have a beer and go to bed which will definitely help with depression.  I'll call the therapist in the morning.

Oh Look - a piece of peach.

If you happen to live somewhere that is still experiencing fresh peaches.  If you happen to be someone who canned peaches and would like some ideas on how to use them up.  Hell, if you froze a few peach slices... then try this out.  Make sure you have enough peaches.

Muesli... yawn

Peach Muffins with Muesli Streusel adapted from Baking Bites
Makes about 14 lg muffins

1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
3/4 cup whole wheat or red fife flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup sugar
1 egg
4 egg whites (or 1 more egg if you don't have egg whites handy)
1 cup milk
1/4 cup + 1 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
1 tbsp vanilla
1 1/2 cups peaches (frozen or fresh), skins peeled and diced into 1 inch cubes and tossed in a tbsp or two of flour.

Topping
3/4 cup muesli or granola (no sugar)or oats
1/4 cup sugar
1/4 tsp cinnamon

Preheat oven to 350° F
Line between 12 and 14 muffin cups with liners and set aside.
Combine both the flours, baking powder and salt together.  Mix and set aside.
Whip the egg whites (if using) until semi-stiff peaks form (about 5 minutes or so depending on what you are using to whip them).  Set aside.
In a large bowl combine both of the sugars and the egg (or 2 if you are not using egg whites).  Whip together until fluffy.  Add in the milk and melted butter.  Whisk until well mixed.  Add the vanilla and mix.
Add the flour mixture to the sugar and egg mixture.  Whisk until the dry ingredients are thoroughly incorporated.  If using egg whites, gently fold them in until they are well incorporated.  Gently fold in the peaches.
Fill each muffin cup to the brim.

Combine all of the topping ingredients together.  Sprinkle on top of each unbaked muffin tin.
Bake the muffins for about 25 - 30 minutes or until they're turning golden on the sides and a cake tester comes out of the middle muffin cup clean.
Cool and eat.