First the good news:
D's cousin is this close to taking over the world (she is number 9).  She is a close friend of mine and I am over the moon with all of the accolades that she is receiving.  I am also a little intimidated and hoping against hope that she takes care of me in my old age.  Very, very proud.

Next the 'not as good' news:
I am not a DIY person.
I typically do not enjoy 'Doing It Yourself'.
I am still not sure what prompted me to take on this project aside from saving money and not knowing anyone who might be stupid enough to do it for me.
I also have a sore throat.
I have not cooked much but just enough to keep everyone alive.  This is still our kitchen...

Please note the big holes where normally the solid surface of a counter top would be.  This also means that we have no sink or drain in which to wash dishes.  Apparently dishes chores are off once the location of the sink changes.

I have distracted myself by stripping, scraping and sanding two sets of stair rails.

This is one of those stair rails

This is what it looks like after one coat of stain.  I am scared and not quite sure what to do next.

In other news, we have raspberries.  This is a big deal for us because the last two years have produced nothing even close to 'bowls full' of raspberries. We are happy.

Summer updates:

This daisy is in my back yard.  It is beautiful.  There are bugs.


This is pretty much what life is looking like here.  Worst part - no breakfast.  I can deal with no food pretty much any other time of day except breakfast.  Day two of finding breakfast elsewhere and I'm a bear... a bear in March.  Kids think that muffins and hot chocolate for breakfast is cool.  They are not having any trouble adjusting.

It's our 'Renovate all the things' project.

Kitchen edition:



Front Hall edition:


Deck and Balcony edition:  No picture available yet because it doesn't start until next week.

Kid #1 is going into high school in approximately 1 1/2 months.  I see her for probably no more than 20 minutes a day between her friends and her bedroom (and what I can only assume is copious amounts of netflix and tumblr)

We have no vacation plans... none... not even one plan.

I have decided to try my hand at making my own pepper sauce.  The bones seem easy but I imagine that it will take a little tweaking to get the recipe to my taste.  At least the basic ingredients are cheap so I won't waste a lot of money if it blows chunks.

Kid #2 has finally mastered biking on two-wheeler.  He hasn't yet mastered the starting and stopping of biking.  He went 'biking' with a friend yesterday.  I stood and watched them.  I became that Mom - the one that stands there and gets super edgy and uptight that her kid is going to fall or get run into or slam into a tree or something.  That Mom.  I had to close my eyes.

I really wish I were posting my rhubarb curd ice cream with white chocolate but can't because I haven't made it yet.  It sounds finicky but the idea occurred while I was trying to sleep and it made sense at the time.  I'm going to try it because I've decided that I need to work harder on my follow through.


I have some lovely little things happening in the garden this year.  Unfortunately, the raspberries have completely taken over the rhubarb and the poppies.  It turns out that tomato plants don't really like me that much and have decided to boycott growing in protest.  Pleasant surprise: I have dill where I planted none.  Nobody here likes dill.

I'm not sure if you would have picked it up from my last post but I've been away in Vermont.
We stayed at this wonderful spot, owned by some wonderful people.  Doing crazy things like:
Sitting on a porch drinking beer and reading
Hiking
Eating campfire food and chips... pretty much nothing else
Driving through mountains
Finding chocolate and purchasing ice cream scoops for friends
... and yoga

It seems odd to me that yoga and campfire hotdogs went so well together but, what can I say, they did.
I will also be forthright in admitting that I now need a vacation from my kids.  Admittedly, they were pretty easy going since we did no cooking other than hotdogs, hamburgers and seriously burnt chicken. They were so busy eating 'real' peanut butter (aka. the junk kind that we never buy) and fruit loop/sugar puff/tiny box cereal (that we also never buy) that they really didn't care about much else.

Prohibition Pig in Waterbury VT is a place you must visit if you're into good beer and house smoked meat.

We did provide them with a couple of restaurant meals and of course the requisite Ben and Jerry's visit.
Since this is our last week of summer, here are some things that I wish for you during your last few days of freedom (?)

Shameless Selfie - B&J ice cream in hand

No less than 3 times over the past week and a half have I found myself intimately discussing women's bodies.  It wasn't the good kind of discussing unfortunately.  It made me sad.  It reminded me that for women body image hasn't changed much since the late fifties.  Very sad.  It reminded me that as a woman body image is going to be an uphill challenge for the rest of my life.
One conversation was regarding the royal pregnancy (which, can I just reiterate here - I don't care much about at all beyond 'it's nice they had a baby') and more specifically the royal post pregnancy body.  Now this I care about.  I am absolutely incensed that Kate is being maligned for having a post pregnancy belly not two days after giving birth.  I must give kuddo's where kuddo's are due.  Since most celebrities either don't show their post-birth bodies until they've lost all of the weight or they have surgery immediately after the birth, I must applaud Kate for what must have been a very gutsy and honest decision... to walk out of that hospital.  Guess what.  That's what most women look like after giving birth.  It's beautiful - she and her beautiful belly are powerful and gorgeous.
Another conversation was about a woman's legs and booty.  A performer was wearing a wonderful pair of shorts which beautifully showed off her ample thighs and booty.  She wasn't skinny.  She had cellulite (OMG).  She was gorgeous.  Not just her face but all of her... absolutely gorgeous.  My friend thought that, although this woman had a beautiful face, she needed to keep that thigh stuff under wraps... clothing more specifically.  Allow me to clarify that the performer was not wearing anything obscene.  To clarify further, I don't believe that cellulite is obscene.
A third conversation was about not wearing shorts... for many years because of insecurity and fear of judgment.  By the third conversation I was starting to feel frustrated, angry and even militant.

This weeks food box contents - for those interested.

So now I start thinking out loud.  Just rambling really because I can't even quite put together what is most upsetting for me about this whole body image thing.
Cellulite, jiggling, flat stomach, ripped abs, stretch marks, arm flab... hell, even grey hair.  Everything must be altered according to.. to what?  Social convention?  I don't even know but it feels like we are never good enough unless we've changed stuff about how we look and therefor we are constantly working on changing it so that it better matches what we see on a page or on a screen 'cause sure as shit our mirrors don't reflect those images back at us.  I wonder:

Why do we judge each other's bodies with such damning severity?
After all of these years, is Twiggy still the only benchmark for body beauty?
Is my daughters generation as obsessed with body image as my generation is/was?
Who cares if people think I'm fat?  I'm not hiding.

I've been reading this blogger quite a bit over the past few months.  I especially loved what she said about running and really exercise in general.  She has given me hope that there are a growing number of women out there not constantly judging themselves and others against this extremely rigid model of beauty or so-called normal.

I love what this photographer is promoting.  Sometimes I feel like I'm going to cry when I look at the pictures.

When I think about the crazy that surrounds weight loss on this continent it makes my head spin.  Keeping us  - most especially women - unhappy with their bodies means that a lot of people make a lot of money.  A lot.  Quite frankly, none of us can keep up with all of the diets and 'good' advice.


To conclude my not-so-well-put-together rant:  I don't believe that skinny is beautiful.  I don't believe that fat is beautiful.  I believe that being a woman is beautiful... whatever her shape and size.  I'm so tired of fighting against the machine that my insides hurt.  I believe that I am beautiful because I am.

Here is a recipe of food that tasted good.  Eat and love yourself.


Roasted Summer Vegetables with Sausage and Rotini
serves 6

2 fennel heads, cut into 1 inch thick slices
2 red pepper, seeded and cut into 1 inch thick lengths
2 yellow or green zucchini, halved and cut into 1 inch thick slices
4 italian sausages (about 1 - 1 1/2 lbs), halved
5 - 6 tbsp olive oil
salt and pepper
4 cups rotini pasta, cooked al dente (as per the package instruction time)
juice from half a lemon
pinch of nutmeg
1/2 cup (approx. - think a generous sprinkling) parmesan cheese, grated
drizzle more of olive oil

Preheat oven to 350°F.
Place all of the vegetables on a big baking sheet or cookie sheet.  Add the olive oil and toss the veggies to coat everything.  Spread the veggies out evenly on the baking sheet.  Sprinkle with salt and pepper.
Add the pieces of sausage to the top.
Roast for about 25 - 30 minutes or just until the veggies have browned nicely at the edges.
(Meanwhile - cook the pasta if you need to)
Remove the baking sheet and cool slightly.  Sprinkle with a pinch of nutmeg.
Combine the veggies and pasta together in a large bowl and toss well.
Add the lemon juice and toss.
Sprinkle with the parmesan cheese and toss.
Drizzle with a little more olive oil if you like.

I feel a little guilty that I haven't posted anything strawberry here this year... like not one thing.  I planned on posting a strawberry recipe today but as you can see, there is no recipe.  We have eaten a lot of strawberries and I've even set some aside for my plans.  But the next time I look they're gone.  All gone.  We can't seem to keep them in the house for more than 24 hrs.  I can't make anything with nothing.  I have bags of rhubarb waiting in the freezer to become strawberry rhubarb jam.  The rhubarb is confused and wondering why it's being ignored.  I'm not sure what to do.  I think that I'll have to hoard them or hide them or something drastic like that.
Something is very very wrong with me because strawberry vinaigrette is sounding kind of interesting.  I'm going to stop right there.


Some of my friends - ok, only one really - have indicated an interest in my food box.  Specifically, what  I get in my food box.  So here are some pictures of the food box contents for this week.  A vegetable shot (with some cream thrown in) and a fruit shot (please note the 2 pints of strawberries - they don't exist anymore and it's only been 4 hours).


It's not the most interesting food box week of my life but you can't win them all.  I've been using Front Door Organics for just over 3 years and they have been great.  When my friend C starts her own personal CSA then I might consider giving up my food box but I would probably keep it for off season.  Front Door Organic perks that work for me:
I can choose what I want for each box.
They offer great monthly and weekly specials.
During growing season they offer a $5 discount on your box if you choose only Ontario grown.
They offer discounts for case orders (for canning)
They offer more than just fruits and vegetables - ie. meat, dairy, canned goods, everything(!)

I'm reading 'Salt, Sugar, Fat' and it's inspired me to make my own bread again.  It's also inspired me to never ever drink sugar drinks again... well maybe almost never.

I've been shopping at this store in my hood for quite a while now.  It's probably one of my favourite stores ever.  People are great and the selection is boss.  They support local whenever and however possible.  Plus, I think they've added me to their friends link which is bomb.  The best.  Check out their blog here.


This is what I did with Kid #2 immediately after getting the food box.  Peas are shelled and already in the freezer.


Later, Kid #1 and I shopped for birthday party supplies.


And finally... this is what's left of the cucumber plant that went in the garden a total of 3 days ago... this dead cucumber brought to you by squirrels.  Thank You.

The school where I work is a rather unique place.  It's a school - a full academic school.  It's an all boys school.  The school goes from grades 3 through 12 and there is only 1 class per grade.  Therefor, it's also a pretty small school.  Every single boy who attends our school has been auditioned and academically tested.  The reason for the screening is that each and every boy sings each and every weekend at the Cathedral that lives right next door to our school.  It's a boys Choir School.
Each year the Cathedral thanks the boys for the dedicated work by providing them with an ice cream day.  A local company comes to the Cathedral grounds and serves ice cream to all of the boys - not the teachers (this is important to note as it seems to have been a sore point over the last two or three years and because one teacher managed to score ice cream this year... only one teacher).  As you can imagine, this ice cream day is a highlight for most of the boys.
How it works is a big scoop of ice cream gets plopped onto a cold slab of granite (I guess) which is kept cold from some kind of refrigeration contraption under the stone.  The eater then chooses additions like gummy bears, marshmallows or sprinkles (god forbid fruit) and it gets all mixed together on the cold slab.  Then it gets scooped up and plopped into a waiting cup.  The boys grab a spoon (totally optional apparently) and go to it.  I happened to be on camera duty this year and here's what it looked like.

Sprinkles - waiting to be scooped into ice cream or poured straight into some boys waiting mouth.

This is what the slab looks like after abut 30 kids come through.

This is what all of that leftover everything looks like when it gets scooped into a cup and then given to an eagerly waiting teacher... the only teacher to get ice cream.

Balance is a hell of a thing and I'm pretty sure (although not 100%) that one of our biggest life long challenges is achieving it.  I'm also pretty damn sure that we never manage to get there.  I at least hope that we can find some fun along the way.
I mentioned a while ago that I'm finding myself in this weird, new, shifting paradigms kind of place in life.  It's a strange sort of feeling, like the floor is constantly moving and my balance is working overtime simply to keep from falling over.  I'm mostly feeling like I'm falling over.  Allow me to illustrate.  Recently, I egregiously failed one of those 'you-can-be-a-better-person-if-you-just-change-your-paradigm-insert-happy-face' kind of tests.  Here's how the test was supposed to go:
You READ the instructions.  The instructions tell you to circle as many numbers on the sheet of paper that you are given as you can IN ORDER in 30 seconds.  Then you fold that same sheet of paper into 4 equal portions.  Lastly, you repeat the test... and to prove whoever it was administering the 'test' right, you will have realised that each number moves by 1 quadrant therefor making it easier for you to find each number in order and making you more successful at circling them the second time... all because your paradigm changed.  Insert Happy Face.
Here's how Wanda's test went:
Wanda mostly read the instructions and figured that she got it right.  The timer started and Wanda began frantically circling every single number randomly because she wanted to win.  Tester got frustrated and  'asked' Wanda to stop the test and try reading the instructions again.  She does... she also laughs at herself and possibly uses some choice language.
Test number two is now underway.  In 30 seconds Wanda circled up to number 16 (this may or may not be disputed by said Tester).  She folds the paper into 4 and the test is administered again.  This time Wanda circles a grand total of 14 numbers.  AND Wanda knew what the test was all about at this point.  So yeah... not too promising.  Tester walked away in frustration.

Kid #2 went to town taking shots and got this one of me.

These are the kinds of things that I equate with personality tests on my 'Things I Hate' List.  I don't even know why I did the test except to say that some bizarre streak of competitiveness kicked in.  It wasn't until afterwards that I thought things might have gone better for me if the tester had taken the test with me as well.  Who knows.  The point for me is that paradigm shifts are all in your head - it's how you think about the world around you.  So while this boat I'm on is rolling around and making me sea sick I've got some choices to make.  I can sit back and do nothing but wait for things to calm down (I'm not even taking this one seriously, ok.  I'm just saying that it's a choice I have but who are we kidding here), I can fight it like crazy and go changing this, that and the other thing hoping to quell the waves a little or I can try to ride this baby like a rodeo horse (I'm hopelessly mixing my metaphor's here - please forgive).  As I'm sure you've guessed, I'm going with Door #3.  I'm not going to stop what's moving already - I don't even know if I could.  I'm not going to start blaming situations or people for making my life so complicated.  I'm not going to try to escape the boat (truth be told, that really is my very first choice every single time - erase and start over... and it never works) and get a new one because it's my life we're talking about here and I'm the one that got myself here.  We're gonna do this thing Wanda... paradigm shifts be damned.

Kid #2 takes another shot of me.  It doesn't suck.  Two portraits in one post has got to be a record.  This is me thinking hard about shifting my paradigm and reading instructions thoroughly.

This is Rhubarb.  It's in my back yard and it's actually growing.  This is cool.

The house is quiet.  Amazingly, Blessedly quiet.  I've been longing for quiet lately.  It's a craving in my gut.  I can't think of a time in my life when the noise of life has felt like such a heavy weight to bear.  At 6:30 p.m. last evening I went to my room - like a teenager.  I went there by myself.  I curled up in bed and read some.  Then my eyes felt heavy and I let myself doze a little.  After that I read some more.  I didn't feel like eating more than I felt like staying put.  So I stayed put.  Every time the door to my room opened the noise felt deafening, jarring.  I didn't want to interact. No questions, thank you very much, because I'll feel coerced to answer.  No music.  No voices from a computer screen or tv coming at me.  I even turned a fan on in my room so that I couldn't hear anything from the floor below.  I stayed in my room until 8:30 a.m. this morning.
I'm not sure if I'm an extrovert or an introvert and to be quite frank, I don't care.  I get impatient with labels (I'm remembering, back in the early nineties, a friend of mine peddling and pushing personality tests like doing it would get me into heaven) because I think that it can prevent us from truly listening to our 'self' and to what we need at any given time.  It can also excuse a hell of a lot of behaviour that we should in all honesty seek to change.  So this weekend I'm an introvert.  Next weekend or even tomorrow, I might be an extrovert.  Maybe not today but on another day and in a moment of gritty honesty I would tell you that I'm some of both and that I think we all are.  I would also add that it's probably really important that we are all some combination of both.  Can we allow this duality to exist within our 'self' (I'm not sure why I'm putting that word into quotes but it seems like the right thing to do at this moment).


Admittedly, I'm not comfortable with duality.  We've been socially conditioned for generations now to avoid it.  All black or white.  Not a blend and never both.  It's wrong politically.  It's wrong religiously. It's wrong morally... and all that.  I'm working on relearning those ideas.  I'm working on feeling okay about how much I squirm when faced with it.  I'm working on embracing the idea of needing that duality.  We need to have both right and left in our society and in ourselves.  We need each other.  We need the happy and the sad, the good and the bad.  It gives us the depths of feeling, emotion and appreciation that connect us together.  We need *ahem* the black and the white.  And we need the quiet and the loud. Today I'm happily hugging up the quiet.  We're drinking each other in with gusto.


There are certain constants for me though and the desire to get my hands dirty both outside in the garden and inside the kitchen doesn't change.  Whatever the emotional place I'm in, the getting of my hands dirty feeds it in the best of ways.  Given that my sweet potatoes were nearly on the outs and that I had been meaning to make something like this for a long time, today was the the perfect day to dive into the project.  These definitely make a winter meal and would go beautifully with some kind of braised meat.  I choose to serve mine with some winter greens and bacon.  The greens are definitely a must, the bacon definitely optional.  I've cooked up enough for all of us to have a taste and then I put the rest (uncooked) into the freezer.  I still didn't feel much like eating today but I did down some of these and I'm the better for it.


Sweet Potato Gnocchi adapted from Aida Mollencamp
serves 6 - 8

3 med sized sweet potatoes, halved
2 med/sm russet potatoes, halved
oil of choice
2 tsp + a sprinkling of salt
dash or two of pepper
1/2 cup parmesan, grated
1 egg, beaten
1/2 cup whole wheat (or Red Fife) flour
1 - 1 1/2 cups unbleached, all purpose flour

Heat oven to 350°F.
Rub the halved sweet potato and regular potatoes with oil, sprinkle with salt and roast on a roasting pan for about 30 minutes or until soft.  Remove from oven and cool.  Scoop the insides of the sweet potatoes and potatoes into a bowl.  Mash with a masher, forks or a hand blender (that's what I used).
Add in the 2 tsp of salt and a dash or two of pepper.  Mix and add the parmesan cheese, beaten egg, the whole wheat flour and about 3/4 - 1 cup of all purpose flour.  Mix well.  If the dough is still damp but doesn't stick to your hand then it's fine and you don't need to add any more flour.
Turn out onto a lightly floured surface.  Form the dough into a square(ish) kind of shape and slice into about 8 logs.  Flour your hands and roll the log out until it's about 1/2 - 3/4 inch in diameter.  Slice into about 1 1/2 inch long pieces.  You can roll each piece with the fork tines or leave them as is.
[At this point you can place the pieces on a cookie sheet and freeze.  Once the pieces are frozen then you can put them into freezer bags - you might want to do this if you won't be eating them all at one time.  Once the gnocchi are cooked they don't keep.
You can also refrigerate for a few hours and bring to room temperature before cooking. ]
Bring a med/large pot of water to a boil.  Once boiling add a dash of salt.  Add the gnocchi to the boiling water and simmer for about 6 minutes.  The gnocchi will resemble the texture of dumplings at this point.
Have sauce ready.
Remove gnocchi from the simmering water with a slotted spoon and toss in the sauce that's ready.
Pour the gnocchi onto a plate and sprinkle with a little more parmesan cheese.
Serve.

Brown Butter Sauce
will do about half of the gnocchi

1/4 cup butter
1/8 - 1/4 cup onion, finely chopped
12 (or so) fresh sage leaves

Heat a heavy bottomed sauce pan over med heat.  Add the butter and onion.  Continue to simmer the butter over medium heat.  Add the sage leaves for about 2 minutes and then remove with a slotted spoon.  Once the butter starts to turn brown then turn the heat down.
Toss with the gnocchi and add in the sage leaves.