I have to start this post by stating that I have decided to experiment with using only 1 space after a period. This decision has been made in an attempt at hiding my age.
Looking back over my last few posts I have realised that there are only baked goods and sweets showing up here. It's given me pause to think about why that might be. Obviously we have cooked more than our fair share of meals and we have not been eating cookies and ice cream for dinner every night. Not any night in fact. I think that recently I have felt completely uninspired at best and disengaged at worst. The odd thing is that I have made some really good stuff. In the fall I let myself experiment with lamb by making a roast leg of lamb which turned out beautifully. A pork dish seasoned with a generous marinate of worcestershire and soy sauce, garlic, ginger and pepper sauce. Rave review. Recently I threw together some leftover roast chicken and slow cooked vegetables to make a pasta sauce. Beautiful. So why do I feel uninspired and apathetic about what I have churned out? And why don't I post about them even when they turn out well. Here are some of my ideas:
1. I don't feel like the pictures will turn out well. It is kinda hard to take an inspiring shot of sauce on pasta (am I wrong here?) or a hunk of meat on a plate... or in a roast pan. Perhaps I need to expand my photographic horizons or just start taking pictures of vegetables and leave it at that
2. I'm tired from making all the damn food (I don't actually think this is true) but I am tired
3. I don't even feel like eating the food myself (this is true unfortunately. Hummus and toast usually wins... and have I told any of you about my new obsession with grapes and cherry tomatoes?)
4. I am feeling uninspired and apathetic about life and I can't even blame winter for that one - although it certainly is not helping
5. My kids are using the computer too much. Perhaps I need to have my very own computer - one of these will do fine, thanks for asking
6. There is not enough room in my brain. I need an upgrade to get more space... or something needs to go to clear some space... no kids... no job... just tossing around some ideas. In truth, I think that this is probably the best answer so far.  It's not that there is no down time it's that the down time is still parenting and all the taxiing to this, that and the other in addition to the chores that need to get done - well that's not really head clearing time is it

These are some classy ass measuring cups that my Mom got me for Christmas.  Awesomest.

So there it is.  Mystery solved. Here is the funniest part - my kids don't even really like the stuff I'm baking. At least they are not terribly interested in eating it. I think they've grown totally accustomed to it and would much rather have a snickers bar than home baked cookies. I had to send about 80% of this snacking cake to school with kid #1. Her friends at school probably think that home baked stuff is a novelty and that it tastes much better than the orea cookies my kids are constantly begging for. She is 14 so after sharing with all of her friends I have some new love interests and someone else wants to make me a superhero costume... my super power being doing shit with bananas and chocolate - meh, could be worse.
For the record - I had to go back through this post and erase an extra space after almost every single period. Including the one in the first paragraph.


This was my original post idea... then I discovered that every single solitary photo I took blew huge chunks.
Banana oat snacking cake adapted form Bon Appetit
makes 1 8x8 square cake

1 1/2 cups oats (I used a combo of quick and classic rolled oats)
1 cup unbleached, all purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
dash nutmeg

1 1/4 cup brown sugar
2 eggs (I used 1 egg and 2 egg whites)
6 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
3 ripe bananas, peeled and coarsely chopped
5 oz dark chocolate, coarsely chopped (or use chips)

Grease and flour an 8x8 square baking dish. Set aside
Preheat the oven to 350°F
Combine the oats, flour, baking powder, salt and cinnamon together.  Mix until combined and set aside.
In a large bowl beat together the brown sugar and eggs until they are a creamy caramel colour and smooth.  About 2 minutes.
Add in the melted butter and beat together for another minutes.
Fold in the flour mixture just until all the ingredients are wet.
Gently fold in the chopped banana and chocolate.  Fold in just until mixed.
Pour into the prepared pan and spread evenly.
Bake for about 35 minutes, turning half way through baking.
Cool in pan for about 15 minutes before removing.  Cool a little longer before eating or don't... eat it warm... with ice cream... thank me later.

This is the recipe that goes with the photos you are seeing...
Pretzel, milk chocolate brownies adapted from Alice Medrich via Sassy Radish

1/2 cup all purpose flour
1 tsp salt
pinch of cayenne and a larger pinch of cinnamon
1/2 cup plus 2 tbsp unsalted butter
1 1/4 cup sugar
3/4 cup plus 2 tbsp dark cocoa
2 lg eggs cold
1 cup large chunks of milk chocolate
3/4 cup (or so) broken bits of pretzels

Preheat oven to 325°F
Line an 8x8 baking pan with parchment or butter and flour it and set it aside.
Combine the flour, salt and cinnamon together and set aside
Combine the butter, sugar and cocoa together in a heat proof bowl. Place over lightly simmering water and stir until butter is melted and everything is combined. It shouldn't be too hot and will be gritty looking.
Add the eggs one at a time whisking well after each addition. Once the mixture looks silky add in the flour mixture and whisk just until it's mixed in and you can't see flour anymore.
Poor the batter into the prepared pan. Sprinkle the chocolate chunks and the pretzels on top of the batter.
Bake for about 28 - 33 minutes (mine was done around 28 minutes) depending on how gooey you want your brownies.
Cool before removing from the pan - unless you think it's cool that they break apart like mine did.

Now that christmas is behind us and the pressure is off I feel like I can think just a little more clearly.  It's all an illusion of course but christmas seems to carry with it some brain cluttering expectations whether or not you embrace them (I'll leave you to guess which category I fall into).  After what felt like a record number of performances this December we really tried to keep expectations low.  Like really low.  We didn't have a big christmas day dinner (decided at about 4pm that we would glaze and bake the ham in the fridge and have it with leftovers) although D made his amazing omelet for breakfast which sustained us through the day.  We didn't go anywhere on christmas day - or boxing day for that matter. We watched movies, movies and more movies. Ate ham and leftovers again.  Two words: Track Pants.  I think that you get the idea.
Even with the aggressive no-christmas-craziness campaign I still found myself making 4 different kinds of cookies.  There was absolutely no reason for these cookies.  No one asked for the cookies and not one single person needs those cookies, especially at this time of year.  This is probably a good time to mention that because I work in a school I receive chocolates in amounts that are crazy - I donate and give to friends.  So why the cookies? It was the sheer guilt of tradition that motivated them.  Once they were done I realized that the blondies I made sucked (they lasted a day before I called it and they met their end) and that clementine/maple and bacon cookies become clementine cookies because clementine is a bully - I will post a recipe for these though.  From there I needed to find homes for the rest of the stuff because it was physically impossible for us to eat them all.  Merry christmas one and all.
Moving on:
These two articles entertained me: One and Two
This is the funniest thing I've discovered recently (trust me: keep going cause each page gets better and better)
I still need to make these for my bestest because she doesn't like chocolate and because I bake for her.
Can we talk for a moment about how much gushing is going on over this man and his music.  The album cannot be over hyped.
If you haven't gotten your fill of movies just yet then this might help you decide on your next rental.

Mousse cake Pre-Ganache

Mousse cake Post-Ganache

Way Way Way back in early December, D had a birthday.  We couldn't have been busier (all of us) but we still managed to squeeze some gifts and a special dinner in there.  I'm not totally confident about this but I think that D requested my own shepherd's pie concoction.  He did not request this cake - it's possible that he requested cheesecake and I didn't quite take it in... but that also might have been another year.  However, knowing that D loves chocolate mousse cake I decided to make something with chocolate mousse.  I liked the idea of the colour contrast between the layers.  The cake turned out to be surprisingly moist and lasted forever (because D ended up being the only one eating it after 2 days and refused to let it go into the green bin... which is fine because it was his birthday cake).

Chocolate Mousse Cake adapted from Martha Stewart
makes 1  9inch round cake

1/2 cup unbleached, all purpose flour
1/2 cup corn starch
pinch cinnamon
4 eggs, separated
3/4 cup sugar
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
1 tsp salt

Preheat oven to 350°F
Butter and flour a round cake tin.  Set aside.
Combine the flour, cornstarch and a pinch of cinnamon. Set aside.
Beat together the egg whites and 1/4 cup of sugar until they are stiff and fluffy.
In another bowl combine the egg yolks, vanilla.  Begin to beat together and slowly add 1/2 cup of sugar.  Beat together for about 5 minutes until thick.
Fold the egg whites into the egg yolk mixture until incorporated.
Add the flour in 3 stages, thoroughly combining each time.
Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake for 35 - 40 minutes or until the edges are golden and pull away from the sides of the pan and a tester comes out of the middle clean.
Cool completely before removing from the pan.

Chocolate Mousse adapted from Epicurious
make about 3 1/2 cups

1 1/4 cups whipping cream, chilled
3/4 cups whipping cream, room temperature
4 egg yolks
3 tbsp sugar
7oz chocolate (I used between 50 and 60% cocoa solids)

Heat 3/4 cups whipping cream over medium heat.  Remove just before it begins to boil.  Cool for 2 minutes.  Combine egg yolks, sugar and salt together in a bowl.  Pour the hot cream in a slow, thin, steady stream into the egg yolk mixture. Stir constantly until all the hot cream has been added.
Melt chocolate over a double boiler.  Add to the cream mixture and mix until thoroughly combined.  Set aside to cool until at least room temperature.
Whip the chilled cream until it forms stiff peaks.
Fold little by little into the chocolate mixture until all of the whipped cream has been added.
Pour over completely cooled cake.  Cover with plastic wrap and chill.

Chocolate Ganache adapted from Epicurious

1 1/2 cups semi sweet (55%) chocolate chips
1 cup whipping cream
1 tbsp salted butter

Place the chocolate chips in a heat proof bowl.
Heat the cream until simmering.
Pour hot cream over the chocolate.  Stir until the chips are beginning to melt.
Add the butter while the chocolate is still warm.
Stir until everything is melted and the mixture is smooth.
Cool for a few minutes and pour over cake.

We did not go away anywhere over the summer.  We didn't even attempt to make plans to do anything.  We were renovating and painting and sanding and everything that goes along with that - including waiting much longer than expected for jobs to finish.  We are not bitter.  We understand and it's ok.
I did however, have the opportunity to go away for 24 hrs with my bestest friend KT.  KT is one of those people who are just so amazing that you don't know what to do with her.  Except she is so amazing that she helps you figure even that out.  She is a beautiful person both inside and out.  I have no idea why she is friends with me really.  I'm pretty grouchy, kinda nonchalant, a bad gift giver (negligent) and I'm not even rich to make up for all of that.  KT has recently (coming up on 3 yrs in a few months) started foster parenting babies.  Again, she is amazing at it.  It's a thankless job in many ways but she loves those babies... except for the sleep.  Or lack thereof.  Imagine, if you can, parenting new-borns over and over for 3 years straight.  We don't get to see each other as much as we would like because I am working during the day and she is not coherent after about 7:30 pm.  This made our 24 hr getaway even more special.
Given my last year and a half and her 2 1/2 year sleep deprivation experiment, we were both pretty tired.  I thought that you might find it exciting affirming alarming amusing to have a look at what we did for our 24hrs.
1:00pm - get in car
2:40pm - arrive at destination
3:00pm - sit in hotel room, contemplate a walk
3:15pm - walk around the village (this takes about 7 minutes if you walk very slowly)
3:30pm - order snack/lunch
4:15pm - return to hotel room, put bath robes on over our clothes and watch tv
6:00pm - walk down to pool, sit on loungers and watch people in pool
7:00pm - return to hotel room
7:30pm - walk to village for snacks and magazines
8:00pm - find a place with absolutely no children in it and have drinks
9:15pm - walk back to hotel room
9:30pm - settle into bed with magazines
SLEEP
9:00am - get up
9:45am - get breakfast
11:00am - check out
11:45am - get pedicure
1:00pm - get in car and drive home

For 24 hrs no other human being determined what had to be done, told us what they needed, had to be seen to or otherwise entertained... and that is what we decided to do with the time.  Are either one of us disappointed that we didn't go mountain biking or hiking or kayaking?  Hell no.  Are you kidding.
And that was my summer vacation.


Here is banana cake, blondies that I have made.  It sounds like it shouldn't work because there is no leavening agent in it but somehow it works and the kids loved it.  The Kids.



Banana Blondies adapted from Food52
makes 1 pan of brownies

2 ripe bananas, mashed
2/3 cup melted butter
2 lg eggs,  lightly whisked to break the yolks
3/4 cup brown sugar
3/4 cup sugar
1 cup unbleached, all purpose flour
1 tsp salt
generous 1/2 cup dark chocolate (about 72%) coarsely chopped

Preheat oven to 350°F
Grease and flour (or line with parchment) an 8x8 baking dish and set aside.
In a medium sized bowl, combine the flour and salt.  Set aside.
In  large bowl mix the mashed bananas and melted butter.  Once combined add the eggs and mix well.  Add both sugars and mix well.
Add the flour mixture to the banana mixture.  Stir to thoroughly mix.
Add the chopped chocolate and stir just until mixed.
Pour the batter into the prepared pan.
Bake for about 45 - 50 minutes or until just browning at the edges and a toothpick comes out mostly clean from the centre.
Cool before cutting.

And then the World Cup.
I did not grow up in a place that recognized the World Cup.  In my little town about an hour outside of Toronto, soccer was a thing you played after school when the hockey season was over.  Filler I guess.  When I moved to Montreal the World Cup was a thing that was recognized for sure but I was a broke student in the music faculty.  I didn't really give a crap about team sports generally and had no money to go to the pub with my friends to socialize... and watch the game.  Hence, this soccer thing was not at all on my radar.
My subsequent move to Trinidad served to school me in the 'joys' of cricket more than anything else. I thought that all of these people must be talking about croquet.  Never heard of cricket and therefor it can't be that important.  After, I've been around and would have heard about it if it were a big thing.  Yup - it's a big thing... not croquet after all... turns out most of the world knows about a lot of things that I didn't even know existed...imagine.  Cricket and all of it's test match weeks and day long games are huge... HUGE.  Who knew.


We took a trip to London a few years ago.  We wanted to reconnect with some of D's family and to spend time in a place that I had heard so much about.  Our trip just happened to coincide with the World Cup.  Of course this meant nothing to me until I attempted to navigate around Piccadilly Square during an England match (god help us all).  You couldn't so much as buy a cookie that didn't have the white flag with the red cross on it.  I think even vegetables were branded with it.  Tv ads and even a music video - so ghastly that I shudder a bit even remembering it - marketing how well the England team would do.  Of course being the England team (I'm sorry - I really am) meant that they didn't get too far into the tournament.  Imagine my shock when the then Prime Minister, Tony Blair, gave a televised statement viewed across the UK expressing his deep disappointment (expressed by him as 'devastation' as I recall) that the team would not be bringing home the cup.  What... the Prime Minister... what's going on here.  I'm sure that all of the cakes and cookies stamped with the flag went on sale the next day.

A very dark picture of two members of my family watching a game.

For D this was a relief because finally I get it.  I understand just how important this world cup thing was.  I understand that this is something entire countries get behind in a way they never do in the Olympics.  I understand that even if you aren't from Brazil you can support them and that you'd better hope if you are in the pub that you aren't the only Brazil supporter present.  I understand that even if you've lived in Canada your entire life that when it comes to the world cup you absolutely become Italian.  I get that it's almost impossible to work at your desk during a game... and why fight it.  I know now that doing something, anything on a day when there are 3 or 4 games happening will be done by me by myself unless it happens in the 60 minutes in between game times.
I understand and I'm ok with it now.  I made rhubarb cake so that I could serve it to the construction guys in our house during the game.  'Cause I know now that they won't be working.


Rhubarb Lemon Cake adapted slightly from 'honey & jam'

Christmas is behind us and in our house that means that it's birthday time.  D and I welcomed a daughter into our lives thirteen years ago on December 31st.  Thus she became 'Kid #1'.  She was a little early so we were not exactly prepared and were certainly not prepared for the prospect of a birthday falling on NYE every year.  It's kinda like celebrating a birthday on Christmas Day or Hallowe'en.  Whether you like it or not, it won't exactly be about you, people will always be busy and/or away and your birthday party will never fall on the day of your actual birthday.  Ever since it's been something that's mattered to her, we have tried to make the day about her celebration and also give her a chance to celebrate later with friends.  This year has been no exception and here is how the birthday run-down has gone:
 - Early birthday party with friends two weeks before Christmas.  Homemade pizza for 12 (Ummmm yea)
 - Early birthday gift (see below for reason)
 - Early birthday dinner b/c D had to leave a day early for a tv NYE gig.  Homemade burgers and fries at her request.
 - Birth day we go to a movie
 - After movie we go to a local restaurant to try the burgers (success... and I got some good craft beer)
 - Come home eat cake and watch D perform on national tv


Kid #1 is now officially a teenager and I haven't aged a day.  She got a big ass speaker for her phone - cause that's what you do now.  You don't wear pinstripe jeans and listen to a cassette tape on your walkman with big felts on the headphones that fall off before you even get to school.  Now she can bluetooth her music to a boom box.  D and I were regretting the decision about 12 minutes after she had gotten it and were already asking her to turn it down.  She is officially a teenager and we are officially the parents of one.

In other news:
Please watch this movie - Yes, it has subtitles and yes hollywood is doing a remake but who cares about that.  It's a fantastic movie.
I found this article very amusing and applicable
D and I finally listened to this entire album and it's really really good
I'm just going to go ahead and take this article at face value


I'm sure that you all need another birthday cake recipe like you need a hole in your head.  Maybe you really do need a hole in your head.  Such is life.  I happen to have a lot of egg whites kicking around my kitchen because I make ice cream on the regular.  If you don't make ice cream then I guess make custard or something with the yolks.


Vanilla Birthday Cake with Chocolate Buttercream icing
adapted from here and here
makes 1 two-layer cake

2 cups unbleached, all purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
1 1/2 cup sugar
6 egg whites (about 3/4 cup)
3/4 cup milk
2 tsp vanilla

Combine the flour, baking powder and salt together and set aside.
Preheat the oven to 350°F
Butter and flour two round cake tins (8 or 9 inch will work - 9 inch will produce thinner layers)
Combine the butter and sugar together.  Mix and whisk (by hand or use a mixer) until light and fluffy - about 2 minutes.
Add the vanilla and continue to beat for another minute.
Combine the egg whites and milk together whisking until incorporated (about a minute)
Continue mixing the butter mixture at low speed (or whisking by hand) and alternately add the flour and milk mixture beginning and ending with the flour.  Beat well after each addition (the batter may look a little grainy)
Pour equally into the two baking tins.
Bake for about 30 minutes or until the edges of the cake have pulled away from the sides of the tin and are turning golden.  A cake tester should come out of the centre of the cake clean.
Cool completely before removing from the cake tin.

Chocolate Buttercream Icing
makes enough for 1 two layer cake

1 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
2 1/2 cup icing sugar
1/2 cup cocoa powder
3/4 tsp espresso coffee powder
1 tsp vanilla
4 - 5 tbsp cream

Sift together the icing sugar, cocoa powder and espresso powder.
Fluff the butter using a whisk or mixer for a minute or two.
Slowly add the icing sugar, cocoa powder mixture - beating continuously at low speed.
Beat for about 2 minutes
Add the vanilla and 2 tbsp of cream.  Continue to beat.
Add enough cream to get the icing to a spreadable consistency.
Set aside to ice the cake once it has cooled completely.

The reason that you are getting a third banana recipe in a row is two fold.  Please understand that I am not offering these reasons as an apology but merely as an explanation.  No apology for cake should ever be offered - ever.  The first reason is that I had just about a bakers dozen overripe bananas in the freezer.  I now have a total of two.  That's better.  The second reason is that I forgot to take pictures of the fifth leftover turkey dish (with roasted butternut squash no less) and now that it's dark pictures will have to wait until tomorrow.  I am not going to number the banana recipes because I'm already doing it with the leftover turkey madness and more than one number system at a time feels kinda lame.
There is nothing especially spectacular about this cake which is probably why it feels so approachable.  It comes together fast and looks big but it has a short, simple ingredients list.  It does use egg whites instead of yolks.  This is something that suits me just fine because I use truckloads of egg yolks in my ice cream.
Speaking of ice cream, I believe that I have recently perfected chocolate ice cream.  This elevates my chocolate ice cream to a level that I believe could be used for leveraging.  Things I could possibly leverage with my ice cream:
 - marriage proposals (a little late there)
 - purchasing property
 - keeping my kids in line (you won't get any ice cream if you keep on....)
 - work promotions
You get the idea.  What was my problem with chocolate ice cream you ask?  Well, I had problems getting the graininess out of the cocoa powder and sugar first.  I learned that slow, low heat whisking can solve that problem.  The second problem was then getting the graininess out of the chocolate when adding it to the custard.  The first thing I tried was pre-melting the chocolate.  That achieved a degree of success but I had to be careful when adding it to the warm custard as it could easily seize up.  Once I got that figured out, I had to make sure that the chocolate didn't become little chocolate shards in the ice cream... solution: cool it slowly and on refrigerate once completely room temperature.  The last thing I did was add a little salt and a little instant coffee powder to the whole thing.  Result:  Perfection.  Smooth.  Chocolatey.  Bliss.


Compared to 'Smooth. Chocolately. Bliss' this cake is a bit underwhelming but these things can often just be a matter of expectations.  Banana cake is great thing to have with tea or something.  I wouldn't make it for someone's birthday or anything but if someone showed up at my door unexpectedly (like that ever happens) I could throw this together quickly and easily.  Fortunately, I found some leftover vanilla buttercream icing in the freezer that I thawed and added some more vanilla and cream to.  I spread it over half of the cake and Kid #2 nearly died.  Icing.



Banana, Chocolate Chip Cake adapted from 'Simply in Season'
makes 1 9x9 cake

2 1/4 cups unbleached, all purpose flour
1 1/4 cups sugar
3 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
pinch cardamom and nutmeg

3 overripe bananas, mashed
1/2 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
4 egg whites
2/3 - 3/4 cup milk
1 tsp vanilla

3 oz dark chocolate chips or chunks

Preheat the oven to 350°F
Butter and flour a 9x9 inch baking pan.  Set aside.
Combine the flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, cardamom and nutmeg together.  Mix to combine and set aside.
In another bowl beat together the butter and bananas until combined.  Add the egg whites and beat for about 2 minutes.  Add 2/3 cup of milk (reserve the rest) and the vanilla and beat together for another minute.
Add the banana mixture to the flour mixture and fold until flour is completely mixed in.  Add the remaining milk if the batter is too thick to spread easily.  Stir to combine.
Fold in the chocolate chips until incorporated.
Pour into the prepared pan.
Bake for about 30 minutes or until a cake tester comes out clean from the middle.
Cool for about 15 minutes before removing from the pan.

The starting gun has gone off and the race has begun.  Everything back to normal - at least, what that normal is for ten months of the year.  I know that there are a lot of mixed emotions for people at this time of year and it doesn't necessarily mean that you and/or a dependant are heading back to work or school.  I'll be honest with you, I'm usually at the bitchy, grouchy, having-bed-head end of the spectrum.  Things are changing though.  I am making a conscious choice this September to grit my teeth and be okay with it all.
Think of everything that we no longer have to think about.
Routine:  We no longer have to decide when to get up (or not) and when to go to bed (or not) and when to eat (or not).  The worry of it all has been taken off of our hands.
Bills:  For those of us on a ten month contract, by the time we get to the end of August we are frantically calling banks and credit companies deferring payments and scraping change out of the kids piggy banks to buy milk.  We look longingly through the window of the dollar store and wonder what it might be like to have disposable cash to spend in said shop.  Canned beans become our best friend and we figure that things like meat and toilet paper can wait.  For us, as of today that knot in your stomach can disappear (well maybe after the first paycheque).
Penmanship classes:  All of those cheques we are writing for school uniforms, karate, piano lessons - Yes, those cheques mean that we no longer have to be concerned with our failing penmanship.  After a week or so our writing is back in top form.
Keeping track of time:  You know how in the summer we so easily forget important dates - birthdays, anniversaries, etc.  We don't even know what holiday you are celebrating because every day feels like a holiday.  Maybe we've slept through two days.  Once September hits that's all behind us.  We live by your calendar.  In fact, we may have to have your calendar on our person at all times.  No worries about forgetting our own birthday... or sleeping through it.
Cream:  We no longer have to wonder about whether we have enough cream for our morning coffee because we no longer have our morning coffee at home.  We have our morning coffee once we get to work or maybe in the quiet, bliss of our very own car on the way to the job or school that we love.

No more worries about which flowers make you sneeze.

Overeating: (Not that this was a worry for anyone of us in the 'Bills' category) The summer is time for sweet indulgence.  When we are not sleeping or drooling on the couch, we are usually eating.  There is so much ice cream and watermelon, BBQ'd burgers and kebabs, pasta salads and grilled eggplant.  How is anyone supposed to stop?  And there is nothing but time.  Time to eat.  That worry is now long behind us.  Things will stop growing soon and it doesn't matter anyway because we don't have time to stop and eat.  Most days it's 1:44 in the afternoon before I remember to eat and then I'm in the middle of a class or a meeting or a client call.  We swallow some hummus at 3:50 and two leaves of lettuce (not in season) at 6:45.  That's called a diet people.


So, as you can see, I have decided to make a 180° turn and become an optimist.  I'm pretty sure that this  optimism is gonna last too.
In the spirit of optimism and less to worry about, I give you banana cake which is totally healthy because it's got all this brown flour that's going to make you happy and believe in the existence of unicorns.


Red Fife and Buckwheat flour Banana Cake adapted from Attune Foods and A Sweet Spoonful
makes 1 9x9 cake

1 cup Red Fife flour
1 cup less 2 tbsp Buckwheat flour
2 tbsp all purpose flour
1tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp cardamom
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
2 eggs
1 cup (about 3 med bananas) ripe, mashed banana
1 tbsp vanilla
1/2 cup buttermilk (or 1/4 cup milk mixed with 1/4 cup plain yogurt)
1/2 cup granola, muesli or oats
icing sugar for sprinkling

Preheat oven to 350°F
Butter and flour a 9x9 baking dish.
Combine all of the flours, baking soda, salt, cinnamon and cardamom together.  Mix well and set aside.
Whisk together the sugar and butter until fluffy.  Add the eggs and continue to whisk until completely incorporated.  Add the ripe banana and mix well.  Add the vanilla and mix.
Add the flour mixture to the banana mixture.  Mix until the flour is completely incorporated with no lumps.
Add the buttermilk and continue to whisk until completely mixed.
Add the granola and mix.
Pour the mixture into the prepared pan.
Bake for about 35 minutes, turning the pan half way through.  The edges of the cake should be pulling away from the edges and a cake tester should come out clean.
Cool for about 10 minutes and remove the cake from the pan and cool on a cooling rack.
Sprinkle with icing sugar once cooled.

I feel like I've blown my wad in terms of what I have to say this week.  I even gave you pictures of this week's food box.  What that means is that a whole lot of potentially meaningless and definitely random thought paragraphs are coming right up...
I'm at the halfway point of my summer break.  I think that I've finally gotten work 90% out of the way and can spend the rest of the month without it eating away at the back of my brain.... mostly.  That helps me breath a little bit easier.
I realized the other night that I don't talk about myself very much at all.  There are very few people who I really talk to.  Mostly, I listen and offer my two cents worth of advice and/or perspective.  I wonder if people notice that I don't talk about me?  (They probably do) I wonder if it pisses them off that I don't talk more about myself. (don't know about that one) Most people seem perfectly happy to talk about themselves and don't return with terribly probing questions.  Definitely, no one has ever asked me about my lack of personal dishing, leading me to believe that no one notices.  It's not that I have nothing to say about myself, my life, my situation.  I do.  I feel like I have to be very careful about what I say because I'm kinda out there sometimes [a lot] and that doesn't always go over well.  Still, shouldn't I be looking for more people that I can really talk to... and I mean really.  Maybe it's not 'them' - Maybe it's me.
This blog is a place where I open up a whole lot more.  I think that the act of typing it out helps me work out what I'm truly thinking and feeling.  There have been many times when I've typed something out that I've gone back and deleted  - sometimes the whole thing and sometimes just significant portions.  This probably seems hard to believe because most of the time it reads like I don't even spell check.  [This, sadly, is true]

In other news:

We saw the Wolverine movie in the theatre yesterday and two hours later I had forgotten that I'd seen it.

I rented Trance the day before that and will never forget that I saw it.

Why is Blurred Lines so popular when this one exists - I must ask.

Lastly, please take a moment to be super impressed that I've posted three times in one week.  Three Times.


I took this very simple, very homey cake to a girls-night-in recently.  It was definitely one of those situations where I didn't say much about myself.  But I brought cake and that should cover my butt.  Besides, my friends had a lot to say.  The cake, despite it's humble appearance, has a lovely crumb, robust taste and comes together quickly and easily.



Banana Cardamom Cake adapted from 'Good to the Grain'
makes 1 9inch round cake

1 cup all purpose flour
1/2 cup red fife or whole wheat flour
1 tbsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
3/4 tsp ground cardamom
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/3 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
1/2 cup sugar
3 ripe bananas (about 1 cup)
2 eggs
1/3 cup plain yogurt (or sour cream)

Grease and flour a 9 inch round cake pan.  Set aside.
Preheat oven to 350°F.
In a bowl, sift together the flour, whole wheat flour, baking powder, salt, cardamom, cinnamon and nutmeg.  Set aside.
In another bowl combine the butter and sugar.  Beat until creamy (mine never quite got there).
Add the bananas and beat until well incorporated.
Add the eggs and beat until definitely creamy.
Add the yogurt and beat until well incorporated.
Add the liquid mixture to the dry mixture.  Mix just until everything is wet and smooth.
Pour evenly into the prepared pan. Give it a little drop on the counter to get out the air bubbles.
Bake for about 50 - 60 minutes but check after 50 - tester should come out clean from the middle of the cake.
Cool.

What does one do when one is having a birthday party barbecue that one might not have necessarily wanted to have but it seemed like the least worst of a few bad situation possibilities?  Well, one certainly does not try to reinvent the wheel.
What does one do when one is having a birthday party barbecue that is the last big thing on her to-do list before truly and properly going on vacation? (stay-cation, whatever) She absolutely does make things as easy as possible for herself.  Oh - and she definitely goes for a run because she's going to need it.
What does one not do when one is having a birthday party barbecue?  Well, one doesn't stay up late watching a movie... except that's what I did.  Not my smartest move but it was a good movie - 'The Trotsky' a canadian flick with Jay Baruchel, set in Montreal, wonderful.  Who can resist.

I haven't been any kind of big time home entertainer or anything like that but I've learned one thing through my years of experience.  It sounds wrong when I say it out loud.  It's ludicrously simple, ridiculous even.  It seems counter-intuitive in this modern age of healthy.  Here it is:

Make Dessert First.

I know.  I know.  Most of us don't even consider dessert.  Why would we when we can just buy it - it's so much easier.  But I can't.  Especially for birthdays.  I'm riddled with guilt if I purchase something... even if I get their name written on it.  Whatever it is you are having for dessert make sure that you've figured it out and either bought it or made it first.  It will set the tone for everything else.  It will change how you feel about the entire meal, the whole event.


And thus I found myself on the eve of the birthday party barbecue that was the lesser of many evils, making birthday cake.  What turned out to be a great birthday cake and a not too sweet icing that made the perfect quantity for the cake (ie. no leftover icing).  Birthday cake or homemade dessert or just damn good dessert of any kind will make up for any number of dinner party violations.  Violations like having a broken toilet and therefor making your guests go to the basement to use that one.  How about forgetting that people need plates for appetizers that drip (oops) or forgetting napkins altogether.  Then there is the lego that's as plentiful as dust in our house.  It took Kid #2 two days to get it all in one area and even then our 94 yr old Auntie was finding them under her feet sometimes.  Yup - even with all of that you will be excused if dessert is good.  And it was.

Our two birthday girls are the first two on the left.  Lovely Ladies.

Nobody here is a birthday girl or boy.

White Cake with Buttery Chocolate Icing adapted barely from Epicurious
makes 1 two layer cake

2 1/4 cup cake and pastry flour
1 3/4 cups sugar
4 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 cup milk at room temperature
6 lg egg whites (about 3/4 cup or just a little more) at room temperature
3 tsp vanilla
3/4 cup unsalted butter soft but still coolish

Preheat oven to 350°F
Grease and flour two 8 inch round cake pans and set aside.
In a large bowl, sift together the pastry flour, sugar, baking powder and salt.  Mix and set aside.
Combine the egg whites, milk and vanilla.  Mix well and set aside.
Add the butter to the flour mixture and start to whisk or mix together (if using a mixer).  Once a crumbly texture has formed add all but a half cup of the egg whites mixture and continue mixing at high speed for a couple of minutes.
Add in the rest of the egg whites mixture and then mix for another minute or so.
Pour evenly into the prepared pans (I did a little slam on the counter top with mine before putting them in the oven) and bake for about 25 - 30 minutes or until a cake tester comes out of the middle clean.
Cool for about 20 minutes before removing from the pans and then cool completely on a cooling rack before icing.

Buttery Chocolate Icing adapted from here
Makes about 1 1/2 cups (perfect for a two layer cake)

2 cups icing sugar
1/4 cup dark cocoa powder
1/2 cup unsalted butter at room temperature and cubed
5 tbsp whipping cream
1 tsp vanilla

Sift together the icing sugar and cocoa powder.
Add the cubes of butter.  Using a mixer (or a very good whisk and a fast, strong arm) mix until things aren't dry anymore but quite thick.  Add in the whipping cream and vanilla and begin to mix slowly until the liquid is incorporated and then move to a higher speed and continue mixing until the cream starts to thicken up quite a bit (this will take a few minutes).  Once the cream has thickened to a nice spreadable consistency then get ready to ice the cake.
Refrigerate after icing the cake.

Things that are currently bugging the hell out of me:

Drink Recipes

Salad Recipes that involve mixing greens with other stuff and adding a dressing at the end.  I'm sorry... recipe????

Asking a direct question and getting a response that is not an answer.
Ex.  Question: 'I'm at the cafe, you want me to get you anything?'
Response:  'Where was my invite?'
Response to Response: 'Oh! Answer question please'
(P.S. I am guilty of this one even though I can't stand it)
This conversation really happened BTW.

Having to look busy when you really are not.

When it's supposed to be 24°C because it's JUNE and it's really only 11°.... and raining.


Trying to pry angel food cake out of the tube pan.

Coffee that's flavoured with anything other than coffee... I might concede to trying a little bit of cinnamon but I would only be trying it.

Not eating the egg yolk part of the egg which is (we all know) the best part.  What's the point?  Isn't this a holdover from the nineties?


Now I'm not only being 'bugged' these days.  There are poppies blooming and that going to make just about anybody smile.  There is also the small matter of the back and front yards that I've managed to clear to an almost acceptable level.  The fact that my foot doesn't hurt every single solitary time that I run is also giving me pause.  I think that on about three occasions kid #2 ate vegetables without complaining and/or asking for cereal... Win.  Kid #1 is officially old enough to do any number of things on her own.  Last and certainly not least, there are exactly 14 school days left until summer break.
Eat cake once and a while, would 'ya.



Angel Food Cake with Chocolate Shavings adapted from Martha Stewart
makes 1 cake

10 - 12 egg whites
1 1/4 cups cake and pastry flour, sifted
1/4 tsp salt
1 1/4 cups superfine sugar (or regular sugar put into a blender and blitzed a couple of times)
1 tsp cream of tartar
2 tsp vanilla
2/3 cup dark chocolate, coarsely shredded

Preheat oven to 350°F
Have a tube or bundt pan ready but do not grease or butter.
Sieve together the flour and the salt and set aside.
Using a mixer, beat the egg whites until foamy.  Add in the cream of tartar and continue to beat until soft peaks form.
Continue to beat and add in the sugar.  Beat until stiff peaks form.
Whisk in the flour mixture little by little, folding gently.  Continue until all of the flour mixture is incorporated.
Gently fold in the shredded chocolate until it's well mixed.
Pour into the tube pan and bake for about 35 - 40 minutes.
Remove from the oven and cool the cake upside down in the pan.  Cool for about an hour.
Gently cut around the edges of the cake, eventually loosening the cake from the pan.

I don't do martyr well.  Oh sure, I play a good game.  I'll sacrifice a lot for the sake of the kids.  I don't look like your typical diva and I certainly don't act like one.  I can tell you one thing though.  I am stamping my foot on the ground and saying 'I want my hour back!'
I was reading this article... again (!) and I've realized that what upsets me most isn't what I thought it would be.  The whole calorie counting/exercise mania/to look gorgeous crap is what initially hit me.  I tried the food restriction/calorie counting in my twenties which corresponded nicely with being desperately broke and not being able to generally afford things like meat, eggs and cheese in quantities of any significance.  What I lived on I can't remember exactly but I have vague thoughts of beans and lots of them, toast, peanut butter (thank god for that one) and coffee.  What it got me was a lot of malcontent, a size 2 and digestion problems.  Glad that one's behind me.
The exercise, as you all know, is something that I'm religious about - one of the few things really.  I don't do it to be skinny.  I am a size 8 and proud.  Why I exercise is simple.  I feel wonderful, my health is off the charts (literally, as far as my insurance company is concerned) and I think better out there on my bike or on a run than I do at any other time in the day.  It's my time.  I don't do spa days (maybe spa hours but not days) to rejuvenate, I do a run.
So what finally made me mad when I read this article?  You know, after all of these years of liberation, 'equality' and authority, we women are still working at a disadvantage all the time.  We still bear the lion's share of work in the home (in most cases) whether or not we work outside of it.  We still have children and carry a lot of the responsibilities that go along with kids.  We still feel an incredible amount of pressure to look the part... well put together, of a certain size, doing all the right things.  In other words rather than freeing ourselves over the last 50 years it feels more like a 'make work' project.  I do want my hour back.


I don't want my hour back so that I can be told what I'm supposed to fill it with.  I don't want my hour back so that I can watch reality tv on cable.  I don't want my hour back so that I can wander around in a mall.  I don't want my hour to go from being told to fill it with the Jane Fonda workout to being told to fill it with... anything.  I want it to be my hour.  And that's the martyr piece that I'm not good at.  When I don't get some time - without restraint, without demands, without mental invasion - then I start to get antsy, panicky even claustrophobic.  When I go from getting up in the morning to get ourselves and kids ready, to work, to gym, to home, to laundry, to clean, to cook, to read, to sleep then I start to feel lost in there.  Today, I'm tired of feeling lost and I want to feel found.  That's it - I'm finding myself.


Today I am eating chocolate cake - maybe even multiple pieces - and I'm going for a run - maybe even a long one - because today that's how I want to fill up MY hour.


Plain Old Chocolate Cake adapted from Alexandra's Kitchen
makes 1 8x8 inch square cake

1 1/2 oz semi-sweet or dark chocolate (not unsweetened), chopped
3/4 cup coffee, still warm
1 1/2 cups unbleached, all purpose flour
3/4 cups dark cocoa powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 egg + 2 egg whites (or two eggs)
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 vanilla pod seeds
1/4 cup + 2 tbsp melted butter or oil (coconut or veg)
1/4 cup + 2 tbsp buttermilk

Ganache icing: adapted from Martha Stewart
makes enough when thickened to cover 1 square chocolate cake

3/4 cup cream
4 oz chopped dark chocolate, finely chopped
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp espresso powder
2 - 4 tbsp sugar (depending on how sweet you like it)

Grease and flour a square 8x8 cake pan.  Set aside.
Preheat oven to 300°F.

Combine the hot coffee and chopped chocolate together and set aside.
Combine the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder and salt together.  Sift and mix well.  Set aside.
Whisk (or use a mixer) the eggs until lemon coloured and slightly frothy (about 1 1/2 minutes).  Add the sugar and continue to whisk until frothy and thickening slightly.  Add the melted butter and continue to whisk for about a minute.  Add in the vanilla and the coffee/chocolate mixture and whisk until well mixed.
Add in the flour mixture and gently whisk until well mixed.
Slowly add in the buttermilk mixture and whisk until the batter is smooth.
Pour into the prepared pan and drop onto the floor or counter just to get out the air bubbles.
Bake for about 40 - 45 minutes or until a cake tester comes out clean.
Cool completely before removing from the pan.
To make ganache:
Bring the cream just to the boiling point in a heavy bottomed saucepan.
Remove from the heat and add in the chocolate and salt and stir until the chocolate is melted and the cream and chocolate have completely mixed together.  Cool to room temperature (about 40 minutes), stirring regularly.
Whip using a hand mixer or whatever until it gets thick and spreadable (took me between 5 and 7 minutes)
Spread onto completely cooled cake.