Sometimes I'm just dumb.  Well... I'm not dumb but I do dumb things.  For example, setting things on the edge of the counter.  Like running to work but forgetting my bra so that when I get there, all hot and sweaty, I have to wear my sports bra... gross.  Like sending a government envelope back to the government thinking that I didn't have to add postage because there was this thing written where the stamp was supposed to be.  I didn't read the thing and it happened to say 'place correct postage here'.  Dumb.  
Well, I did something dumb yesterday.  
Kid #1 asked for red velvet whoopie pies.  I said yes.  Now keep in mind that Mother's Day was the day before.  Keep in mind that I had just been travelling with 65 gr 5 and 6 boys for the weekend.  Keep in mind that my mind was kinda fuzzy and I'd been working all day.  I quickly found a recipe on the net.  I skimmed the recipe... barely.  I pulled out ingredients.  I saw sour cream sitting in the fridge.  I grabbed said sour cream.  I thought, 'this sour cream would go well in the whoopie pies - I could use this instead of buttermilk' (dumb).  I put the sour cream with the rest of the ingredients.  
I put together the ingredients and did my thing.  I really did my thing... I never checked the recipe again.  Let's just talk for a minute about what I changed or didn't bother with at all:
1.  Didn't check about whether to mix together the flour/cocoa/baking powder.  Why check, all recipes are the same... right.
2.  Didn't bother to precisely measure the butter.  
3.  Didn't use buttermilk, added sour cream instead... still needed to add milk.  
4.  Didn't check for an oven temperature or how long to bake the cookies.  
5.  Didn't have liquid food colouring, used paste instead and didn't check the recipe about when to add the colouring.  
How did all this turn out?  




Mediocre... at best.  I was thoroughly disgusted truth be told.  My kids are still eating them but damn... they suck.  
For the record, sour cream is not interchangeable with milk or buttermilk.  
For the record, food colouring doesn't mix well if the butter isn't wet enough.  
For the record, when you are tired sometimes you just do dumb things.  
For the record, today I bought a whoopie pie recipe book and will try this again the right way.  
I'm giving you the recipe as I saw it and then telling you what I did to screw it up.  




Red Velvet Whoopie Pies
makes 16 or so icky cookies


2 cups all-purpose flour
2 tbsp. cocoa powder
½ tsp. baking powder
¼ tsp. salt
8 tbsp. unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup light brown sugar, packed (used muscovado... that's all I had)
1 large egg
1 tsp. vanilla extract
½ cup buttermilk, at room temperature (use 1/2 cup sour cream... then add another 1/2 cup milk)
1 oz. red food coloring


Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  (my recipe)
Combine the flour, cocoa, baking powder and salt in a bowl and set aside.  
Using another bowl cream together the sugar and butter until light and fluffy.  Add in the egg and the vanilla.  
Add in the flour mixture and mix that until it seems mixed in.  Add in the sour cream.  Mix and realise that this is turning out like bread dough... add in the milk.  
By this time the batter will be pasty and gross but loose enough that you can add the food colouring (even though you should probably have added the food colouring to the milk and done things that way.  Try to mix in the food colouring and realise that using paste isn't the same and won't mix properly.  Think that maybe it will look kinda cool that you've got 'marble' whoopie pies.  Realise that marble whoopies pies kinda suck.  




Drop the pastry grossness on a lined cookie sheet by tablespoons.  Bake for about 10 - 11 minutes.  




Once they all cool throw some cream cheese icing on the underside of one and sandwich together with another until they're all done.  
Give them to kids... they don't care if they're gross... buy a recipe book that has a proper recipe.  

I'm still a little mind-numbed after returning from the Junior Choir Tour with the school that I work at.  We were gone for 2 1/2 days (yes... the half counts, damn).  We returned mid-afternoon on Mother's day and were right back at work today.  Yeah, mind-numbed is the correct turn of phrase for how I'm feeling right now.  There is nothing that can fully prepare you for the intensity of 65 eleven and twelve year old boys in one place.  When you are with them for any length of time, you just want to... well, let's just say it wears on you.  I'm happy to be home, in my own bed and with my own kids... only two of them.

The weather has improved dramatically here in Toronto.  I'm already thinking about planting and where I can steal time to do it.  It's energizing to start thinking about the garden - planning it this year, thinking about vegetables, about how much we can fit in there.  I'll be taking pictures of lilacs soon and I've already harvested some chives.  The rhubarb is coming up well and in another month it will be ready for some jam jars.
In the meantime though it's seasonally still pretty slim pickings.  Last week I got some new Stinging Nettles in the food box.  I'm expecting that spring spinach will be coming soon.  Ultimately though, we are still waiting for real growth.  I'm working with local root veggies as much as I can.  Scrounging up new ways to work them into our meals.


Yam is a fairly new 'root' for me.  It's pretty damn boring as root vegetables go.  No exciting colours.  Bland.  No bark like skin.  No bulbous or interesting shape even.  Just a fat tuber.  The taste however is something quite unexpected.  It's mild, without the sweetness of a sweet potato yet it has a lovely substantial texture and keeps it's together well.  It's lovely to cook with.  It doesn't stand out in a stew the way a sweet potato does, it's incredibly good for you and can be used interchangeably with potatoes.  If you gotta be waiting around for the exciting 'greens' of spring this ain't a half bad way to do it.


Bean and Yam Chipotle Stew
serves 6

2 cans pinto beans, drained but save the water
1 large yam (about 2 1/2 cups) chopped into large chunks
1 onion, diced
1 large rib of celery, diced
2 cups chard, diced
3/4 - 1 cup parsnip, diced
1/2 - 3/4 cup green or red pepper, diced
3 cloves of garlic, minced

Spice mix:
2 tsp salt
3 tsp cumin
2 tsp coriander
1/2 tsp chipotle powder (more if you want some extra spice)
1 1/2 tsp ginger
2 tbsp sugar or honey
2 veggie bouillion cubes
2 - 3 tbsp water

1/2 cup tomato paste
chorizo or other sausage (optional), baked for about 25 minutes, cooled and sliced.
1 cup water (or use the drained bean liquid and top it up to 1 cup with extra water)

Combine the spices in a bowl.  Add in the sugar or honey, a little water and the bouillion cubes.  Mix until it forms a smooth paste and set aside.
Heat a large dutch oven or pot over medium heat.  Add some oil for the veggies.  Add the yam, onion, celery, parsnip and green pepper.  Cook for about 7 minutes or so over medium heat.  Turn down to medium low and add in the garlic and chard.  Cook for another 5 minutes.
Add in the drain beans, the sausage and tomato paste.  Cook together for just a few minutes.  Add in the water/bean liquid.
Add in the spice paste.  Cook together for about 10 minutes over med/low heat.  It should just barely simmer.  Check the tastes and adjust if necessary.
Simmer for about 30 minutes or so.
Serve with rice or tortilla.

Have you ever thought about what it would take to provide your own food?  Like all of it?  It's staggering.  Just keeping away from boxed or pre-made dinners is hard enough, right.  I'm trying to imagine what it might be like...
I would have to quit my job.  I would have to garden in a community garden as well as my own backyard - and do more in my own backyard BTW.  I would have to get a cow that could provide us with milk and some chickens that could give us eggs (because I can't live without those).  I would start making my own cheese (not hard I've heard).  I would need to start canning... everything - a goal of mine anyway... not everything mind you.
It hit me this week that even though I'm doing a lot to get processed foods out of our diets completely it's still there... these insidious little things that you don't even think about.  My hot chocolate from Starbucks (only a couple of times a week but still).  Yogurt.  Salad dressing (I don't make my own... I know, don't say it).  Ketchup.  The list goes on.  I'm not going to get depressed because we've come a long way but it's kinda overwhelming.


That brings me to yesterday.  I had forgotten to bring my fruit for lunch.  I was going to eat at home later anyway so it was fine but I was still really hungry and I had 2 hours to go.  I had run to work in the morning and that always sees me famished by the lunch hour (try like 10:30 a.m.).  I was standing outside the school contemplating what to do.  I should just run and grab something, chew and swallow kind of food.  Then I thought 'If I do that every time I forget something or need something NOW then what kind of example am I to my kids?'  What if I can't even do what I'm asking them to do?  I tuened around went inside, still hungry, and waited until I got home.
So instead of Starbucks hot chocolate (too sweet anyway) and something processed and icky for me, I had one of these (after my lunch of course).  It was totally worth it.  Is there anything better than lemon?  I'm not sure.  Lemon curd?  Well I could eat that stuff straight from the jar... I usually do.


P.S.  I didn't make my own lemon curd... ugh.


Lemon Curd Muffins adapted from The Goddess's Kitchen
makes about 10 large muffins

2 cups self raising flour (I just make my own from all-purpose)
3/4 cup sugar
150 ml milk
75 ml canola or sunflower oil
1 egg
1 tsp lemon juice
1/2 tsp vanilla
3/4 cup lemon curd
extra sugar for sprinkling

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
Line a muffin tin with silicon or paper liners
Combine the flour and sugar in a bowl and set aside.
In another bowl combine the milk, oil, egg, lemon juice and vanilla.  Mix well.  Add to the flour mixture and mix to combine.
Line the bottom of each muffin with enough batter to cover.  Place a tsp or so of lemon curd on top of each.  Finish filling each muffin cup until they are 1/2 to 2/3's full.
Bake for about 15 minutes or until just golden on the top and springy to the finger.
Remove from oven and cool for 5 minutes.
Place another tsp or so of lemon curd on top of each muffin.  As the lemon curd melts sprinkle a little sugar on top of each.
Cool completely.

Sometimes, there is just too much noise.  It's everywhere in the city.  Unescapable.  Noise pollution is a growing concern and it's toll is still be researched and documented.  
We had a whirlwind of a weekend culminating in a two hour end of year dance recital for kid #1. It was long and loud.  It was relentless.  Kid #2 was trying to stay positive but by dance segment #24 (out of 39!), he was saying out loud 'Ugh, I told them to stop', 'That song is too long', 'I want to go HOME'.  I sympathized.  By the time we got home we all wanted to have a bath and go somewhere quiet (read: bed).
Sometimes I just want to be home, with no noise.  No tv (please), ipod, radio... nothing.  Just the hum of the refrigerator.  The kind of quiet that can clear your mind or can at least leave you free to contemplate in your own honest way.  That unavoidable kind of quiet.  It might make some uncomfortable but not me.  I could stare at the sky, at a piece of art, hell, I could stare at a wall for a good long time and just think.  Inward.  Contemplative.  Sometimes uncomfortable but hopefully most honest.  
That's not how I was feeling when I made these samosas.  I was in a rush.  I was hungry.  We were all hungry.  I had at least two small/loud voices asking regularly what we would be having for lunch.  We were running somewhere (I can't remember) and I had to use up what was in front of me without too much fuss and fill our bellies.


It worked.  It's an easy recipe but it takes a bit of time.  The rolling and filling part at least.


It was worth it in the end though.  Kid #1 used these for school lunches for a couple of days - they're nicely portable.  I would recommend grabbing a tamarind sauce or a chutney and using that on the side as well.  It will definitely elevate this humble veggie pocket to something higher.
I have to believe that my quiet moments will come more often.  Right now they are fleeting glimmers.  In the meantime I snack on veggie samosas doused in chutney and listen to my fridge humming away behind me.  



Curried Veggie Pie Samosas adapted from Moosewood
serves 4 - 6

Dough:
2 1/2  cups all purpose flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp turmeric
1 cup buttermilk or plain yogurt
additional flour for rolling

Combine the flour,turmeric and salt in a bowl.  Add the buttermilk and mix until combined.  Set aside until ready to roll out.

Filling:
3 tbsp oil
1 small onion, diced
3 small potatoes, diced
1 med. carrot, diced
2 cups broccoli, diced
1 cup chard or spinach diced
3 cloves garlic
turmeric
mustard seed
coriander
ginger
cumin
garam masala
salt
sugar or honey
veggie bouillion
water

Heat a large pan over medium heat.  Add the oil, mustard seed and veggies.  Cook together for about 7 minutes.  Turn the heat down or even off.  Add the rest of the spices, the bouillion, salt, sugar and water. Mix until just combined.
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F
On a lightly floured surface take a piece of dough the size a golf ball.   Roll it out in a circle.  The dough should be about a 1/4 inch thick or so.  Cut the circle in half.  Place a good spoonful of filling in the middle of one side of the half circle.  Using a pastry brush, brush water along the edges and fold the other half over the veggies.  Pinch the edges together and use a fork to cinch them.  Place on a lined baking sheet.
Repeat until all the dough/filling is used up.
Bake at 425 for 15 minutes.  Turn the samosas over (although I didn't) and turn down the oven to 375.  Bake for another 10 minutes.
Cool for about 15 minutes before serving.
Serve with Tamarind sauce or chutney or something.

I should be in bed.  Maybe not sleeping just yet but in bed.  I'm tired, really tired but somehow inspired at the same time.  I love that life provides this strange mix, both stress and joy, tension and relief, exhaustion and energy.
In the midst of rain and cool temperatures,  too much work and too little sleep, overwhelming housework and guilt around not seeing my friends enough, here are some things that have inspired me enough to keep me going over the last 7 days.

This little parsley plant came out to say hello this week.  Typically parsley is not a perennial in this part of the globe.  It may come back if the plant has flowered and spread some seed but this little guy is growing right out of the same plant that was his parent last year.  By rights he shouldn't be here... but he is.  Huge sigh, warm heart.


Who doesn't get a little smile on their face at the sight of this?  I've always preferred the in-your-face yellow of the traditional daffodil.  I managed to get two of them this year after the squirrels sampled a couple to see if they were edible.  It's like a seasons worth of sunshine packed into a little tiny flower.



These are the faces that meet me every morning.  They ask me when I'm making waffles or pancakes.  They hustle along with me when we have to be out the door early.  They rely on me to make sure that they are taken care of and in turn they bring me a lot of joy and give me a lot of love.  These faces help me find motivation to move out the door and do it for another day.


This week's food box.  The colour, the choices, the fact that I can feel good about what we're all putting into our mouths.  I'm supporting local business, local farmers and sustainable practices.  I have to remind myself that this is happening and it's inspiring... it does make a difference.


This is my sister and for a 36 hour period we got to be together almost exclusively.  It's the first time in about 4 years that this has been the case.  She is now just 45 minutes away but I won't see her again before she heads back home, half-way across the country.   We're holding each other pretty tightly here in this picture, just drinking in having a sister again.  Fingers crossed, we won't wait another 4 years to do it again.

This book has been putting a spark of excitement in my mind and my heart.  I sometimes wish that I could do what this family choose to do.  I honestly don't know if I'm 'man-enough' to be able to do it although a half century or so ago I might not have had a choice about that.  You'll have to check it out to know what I'm talking about here... We've decided though that we have some decisions to make with regards to all this food stuff (if that's not a bizarre sentence then I don't know what is)... our next step.

Take a moment to think of some things that have touched you this week.  It's important.

I'm cleaning out my freezer.  Don't worry, it's not a monumental task or anything.  I'm not a freezer-stuffed-full-of-crap kinda person.  I'm just making some room.  Getting rid of stuff that been forgotten about or simply will not ever be used.  It's a great feeling.  The freezer space will get filled, I know that.
What I found in there though was weird and fun.  I found a chicken carcass that I didn't know I had.  Yes.  I found some cream cheese.  Yes.  I found some rhubarb from last year.  Yes.  I found some banana leaves.  Weird and Yes.  I found some salt fish.  Salt Fish.


I like salt fish.  When it's done well, I LOVE salt fish.  I first had salt fish in Trinidad.  Friends and family convinced me that I had to try this salt fish dish called 'Buljol' for breakfast.  Yeah, so you know how here in Canada weekend breakfasts are often homemade pancakes or waffles smothered in Maple Syrup?  Well, in Trinidad weekend breakfasts are salt fish and bake (a bun).  Arguably, this is a healthier way to approach breakfast (even though we now have huge green checkmarks on Cocoa Puffs and Fruit Loops - I know it's hard to think of anything healthier).  Still, this born and bred Ontario girl wasn't sure about this fish for breakfast thing at all.  I didn't want to offend though.  So I took a bun and put the tiniest amount of salt fish imaginable. Hesitantly, I put the tiny bit in my mouth.   Oh my... it was AWESOME.  Which figures, 'cause I'm damned if I can tell you any food that Trini's make which bites.   It was seriously like the green eggs and ham thing.  'I like them. I like them Sam I am.' (or whatever)
As with many things Trini I have trouble duplicating it.  I've tried tons of ways.  I can't seem to get the right balance.  Something is always a bit off.  I think though that I've finally found the magic formula with this one.  Don't cook anything, just heat the oil until it quite hot.  That's it.  Done.
I'm seriously pumped because I saw some chives ready to be used in the garden.



So my first garden harvest of the year is in the salt fish.  The chives kinda helped me feel better about the fish.   This fish is Canadian but it's probably not 'sustainably' caught and for that very reason I don't make salt fish often at all.  In fact, I've stopped buying fish as a rule.  At least the chives were local and sustainable... right.
Serve this awesome stuff on crackers, bread, buns... whatever.



Buljol (salt fish) adapted from 'The Naparima Girls Jubilee Cookbook'
serves 4

1/2 lb or so (1 pkg) dried Salt Fish
small onion sliced thin
1/2 cup green pepper diced
1/2 cup tomato diced
1/4 cup celery diced (optional)
4 tbsp green onion or chive diced
1/3 cup oil
3/4 tsp black pepper (optional)
3 tbsp green seasoning (optional)
squeeze of a lemon slice (optional)
pepper sauce to taste (optional)

Bring a pot of water to a boil.  Soak the salt fish in the hot water for about 15 minutes.  Drain and repeat 3 times in total.  Set the salt fish aside.
In a bowl combine the onion, green pepper, tomato, celery and green onion or chive.  Mix and add in the black pepper, green seasoning and lemon juice.  Break the salt fish apart into little pieces and add to the veggies.
Heat the oil in a pot just until it barely starts to smoke.  Pour the hot oil over the fish and vegetables.
Mix well and serve.

We were supposed to get a crappy Easter weekend.  All week I was anxiously checking the environment Canada website to see if things had changed.  Rain... all the time.
But then on Thursday a wonderful thing happened.  The forecast changed.  Suddenly we were in for a weekend of not bad weather at all.  In fact, the way things have turned out, it's been a damn good weekend.
We were out in short sleeves.  Jackets were optional.
These are out in full force.


And I've got a bush full of these happening soon too.


The real bonus is not working and therefor being off to enjoy it fully.  THE BEST.
I got so energized that I actually called people.  This is a big deal.  I don't call people.  I don't like using the phone.  I didn't even love it that much as a teenager.  Trust me, I had my fair share of long calls but it wasn't my first choice.  And at this point in my life being on a phone for more than 5 minutes is right down there with root canals on my 'things I love to do' list.  So for me to pick up the phone and call someone to see if they would like to come over and hang... yeah, big deal... I got their voice mail.
We did connect later though and arranged a time.


All this was important because I really wanted to make this cake.  As soon as I saw it I wanted to make it.  That oozy glaze candy thing dripping down the sides made me want to lick the computer screen.  The recipe makes a lot of cake.  I needed an excuse to make this thing.  Honestly though, with that glaze who even cares about the cake.  The cake is only there as a prop for the stupid glaze really.  That why, even though Dana calls it 'Brown sugar cake' I'm calling it 'Brown Sugar Caramel Glaze... with cake'.  That pretty much sets it straight I reckon.  Make this glaze.  Don't even bother with the cake if you're not a baker but make this glaze.  Serve it on ice cream.  Drizzle over bacon. Use it to cover up other stuff you've made that is middling to average... whatever... don't serve it with anything else... just make the damn glaze.  The cake... is optional.  Seriously a yawner.
I choose to make this in a tube pan because I seem to be the tube pan queen or something.  Worked beautifully but by all means do what Dana did and make it in two loaf pans and extend the experience.  For all you out there who observed Lent, this could be your kick off cake.  Happy Easter all...


Brown Sugar Caramel Glaze with cake (adapted from Dana Treat)
makes 1 tube pan or 2 loaves

3 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1 1/2 cups unsalted butter at room temperature (Honestly, I might use a smidge less than that)
3 cups lightly packed brown sugar (I used dark but Dana used light - go with her)
5 lg eggs (if you're feeling like a super-hero then I would whip the egg whites separately)
1 cup milk
1 tsp vanilla

Grease and flour a tube pan (or the loaf pans)
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.
Sift together the flour, baking powder and salt in a bowl and set aside.
In another bowl combine the vanilla and milk and set aside.
In a third bowl beat the butter until it's very light and very fluffy.  Add in the sugar little by little and continue to beat.  Beat until light and fluffy.
Add in the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition.
Mix in the flour and milk alternately, beginning and ending with the flour.  I took about 4 rounds to get it all in.
Pour the mixture into the tube pan or split between two loaf pans evenly.
Bake the cake anywhere from 1  - 1 1/2 hours (I took about 1 hr 20 min).  Check regularly after 1 hour.  The cake should pull away from the sides of the pan and the tester should come out with light crumbs.  The top of the cake will feel springy.
Remove from the oven and cool for about 10 minutes.  Remove from pan and cool completely on a baking rack.

GLAZE:
1/2 cup unsalted butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup milk or cream
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp salt
1 - 1 1/2 cup icing sugar

In a heavy bottomed saucepan melt the butter.  Continue over med. heat and add in the brown sugar.  Cook the butter and sugar together for 2 minutes.  Add in the milk or cream, turning down the heat but continuing to let the mixture bubble.  Cook for about 5 minutes.  Remove from heat and add the salt and vanilla.
Cool for about 10 minutes.  Add the icing sugar and stir until completely mixed.
Pour the heavenly mixture over the completely cooled cake.