I made Bread.
It's simple really.  I got what I needed and made bread.   It looks a little weird and I was on the verge of getting kinda upset with it.  You know the feeling.  Something that you worked on, something that you kinda need, something that you gave a crap about... it might not be the way you wanted it to be.  Just a little, tiny bit of panic sets in... and depression.  Yup, there's a little glimpse into my inner torment.  I've been here before, something in my knows that I can deal with this set back.  I gotta step back, take a deep breath and decide what my next move is.


Breathing.  Slowly.  Thinking.


Then I sliced it.
It looked fine.  The crumb looked fine.
So then I tasted it.  It tasted fine too.  My personal crisis was averted.  This is a good thing because there are so many other things that are important too, that need attention in the world.
So, the moral of this story is... don't sweat the small stuff that you really can't do anything about... well it's kinda the moral.  Maybe the moral is... don't judge a book by it's cover, give it a chance.  Hmmm, maybe the moral is just follow the damn recipe better and don't mess with it, Wanda.
I'll leave you to choose which moral you like best.
Thing is I've moved on because I gotta get my act in gear and get some jam hapnin' round here.  I'm off to get some blackberries (fingers crossed) and I've got some lovely raspberries waiting in the freezer.   It's pretty much totally peach season and so that's next on my list.  Oh yeah... and did I hear someone say 'Ripe Tomatoes'.  I was just talking to my Mom-in-law and it looks likes I have a 'small' (read: probably only slightly under 30 people at the end of the day) BBQ to host while my cousin/sister-from-another-mother is here in two weeks.
Yeah, I know it's two whole weeks.  But I got a garden that's been needing some attention while I've been off making birthday cakes and bread.  And I've got a menu to plan.  

Breathing.  Slowly.  Toasting.  Bread.  Butter.  Jam.  Yum.


Honey Whole Wheat Bread
adapted from 'More with Less'
makes 2 loaves

Combine:
1 1/2 cups lukewarm water
1 1/2 tbsp sugar
2 pkg active dry yeast

Set aside for 10 minutes to get foamy and double in size.
Meanwhile:

In one bowl combine
3 cups whole wheat flour
1/2 cup skim milk powder
1 tbsp salt

In another bowl combine
4 cups all purpose flour
1 cup whole wheat flour

In a saucepan add
1 1/2 cups water
1/2 cup honey
2 tbsp oil
... and heat just to lukewarm

Once the yeast mixture is done and is all foamy and awesome then add it to the bowl of whole wheat flour/skim milk powder.  Mix well
Add in the warmed water and honey.  Mix well.
Add the rest of the flour.  Mix as best as you can.
Knead for about five minutes using more all purpose flour as needed.  The dough should be smooth and elastic.
Place the dough in a greased bowl.  Cover with a clean cloth and let it rise until doubled (about an hour but might need a little extra)
Divide the dough in half.  Shape each half into a loaf pan.  Butter the top of each loaf, cover with a clean cloth and let it rise for about 45 minutes.  The dough should have doubled (or so) and look like a bread loaf shape in the pan.
Heat the oven to 375 degrees F.
Bake for about 40 minutes.
Cool for a bit in the pan before removing.

Fact:  I've been filling my freezer and pantry shelves a whole lot more than I've been cooking lately.  I feel a bit guilty about it and even a bit lazy for it but there it is.

Fact:  Sometimes I get to run and bike all in the same day.  I feel neither guilty nor lazy for that one AND, however strange this may sound to you, it's a huge treat.

Fact:  Even though I'm not cooking as much, I'm still knee-deep in birthdays.  So, I've been baking.

Fact:  One week ago my grass was brown.  Now it is green.  We are presently experiencing our first rainy day in what feels like a very long time, with temperatures below 25 degrees.



Fact:  Kids like cake a whole lot more if there are sprinkles on it.  Especially if putting the sprinkles on the cake turns out to be an art project.  The sprinkles on top of this birthday cake are in the shape of a 'T' at least, our 'art project' version of a 'T'.  (lot's of quotation marks in that one)



Fact:  I will bake you the cake of your choice for your birthday... eventually.  It might not get there for your birthday.  Right now I owe my BFF nothing less than: Bread, rhubarb/blueberry/strawberry sauce, vanilla cupcakes and... something else that I can't remember at the moment - I'll probably have to ask her about it.  My BFF's birthday is in July too.


Mom-in-law had a rainbow birthday cake last week.  This week my close friend T was coming over for dinner and a late celebration of his July birthday.  He said, 'Let's just get together and drink'.  I responded with a choice word or two and then told him, 'You'd better just tell me what you would like me to make otherwise I'm gonna go ahead and make you something and you might think it sucks.  It's your birthday Bitch!'  Nice friend eh?  He responded with a choice word or two of his own and then told me he wanted my Shepherd's Pie (nice choice, I agree) and chocolate cake.  T absolutely can't stand fruit in his cake (that includes jam - I found out).  So this is what I made him.  We had a great time eating Shepherd's Pie, drinking some great stuff and eating our cake too.


Chocolate Birthday Cake
adapted from Nigella Lawon - 'Nigella Bites'

2 2/3 cup all purpose flour
3/4 cup + 1 tbsp sugar
1/3 cup light brown sugar
1/4 cocoa powder (I use Cocoa Camino)
3 tsp instant espresso powder
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
3 lg eggs
1/2 cup + 2 tbsp sour cream
1 tbsp vanilla
3/4 cup unsalted butter, melted and cooled
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 1/3 cup chilled water

Icing:

6 oz bittersweet or dark chocolate (70% cocoa solids and up)
1 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
2 cups icing sugar, sifted
1 tbsp vanilla
1 tbsp cream (a little extra if necessary)

Butter and flour (or use parchment) two 8 inch round cake tins.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Mix the flour, sugars, cocoa, espresso, baking powder, baking soda and salt together in a bowl.  Mix and set aside.
Mix the eggs, sour cream and vanilla in another bowl.  Whisk together until creamy and set aside.
Beat together the butter and veg. oil using a machine or by hand until just mixed together.  Beat in the chilled water.
Add the flour mixture and mix together nice and slow.
Add in the egg mixture and mix until everything is blended well.
Pour equally between the two tins.
Bake for about 45 minutes or until a cake tester comes out clean.
Cool for about 10 minutes in the tins and then remove to cooling racks.  Cool completely.

Icing:
Melt the chocolate in a bowl over simmering water.  Set aside once melted to cool slightly.
In a large bowl beat the butter until it's all creamy.  Add in the icing sugar and beat again until well blended.
Add in the vanilla and chocolate and mix until well blended.
Add in the cream just until it reaches the desired consistency.
Ice the cake one the cakes are completely cooled.

Well, it's August.
What a summer it's been so far.
I haven't gone away for vacation - I might still but I might not either.
So far I've been keeping myself occupied but not busy with lots of stuff.
Here's a little run-down of things that I've been doing and/or working on:
 - Starting my half-marathon training nice and early... 'cause I want a good time this year, Oh Yeah.
 - Trying to figure out why one of my tomato plants is drying up.  Figuring out that it's getting too much water and then nursing it back to health.
 - Reading... lots. Trying to read things that make me think without getting me too dark.  It's hard and it often doesn't work 'cause I'm not terribly interested otherwise.
 - Going here... and here... and seeing this at a cheap theatre... and getting together with lots of friends.
 - Trying to figure out how not to be completely broke by about the middle of August (might almost be successful this year)
 - Actually taking Kid #2 to a park (!) on two different occasions.  It really is a big deal.
 - Making lots of birthday cakes and presents (July is birthday central around here)
 - Not cleaning my house.
 - Making ice cream.


Yeah.  I made ice cream... again.  Peanut butter... again.  With Caramel ripple this time... I burnt the caramel.  That sucked.


The peanut butter ice cream recipe is good but this one was better.  I think that the honey thing changed the texture too much for me.  I used a creamy honey rather than a clear, runny variety.  I wouldn't do that again.  Generally though the other peanut butter ice cream recipe was just a more pleasant taste and texture for me.  I also wasn't in love with the caramel ripple thing.  I think that the chocolate worked better.  Quite honestly I think that the caramel ripple idea would work better with vanilla ice cream or something like it.  A simpler ice cream to showcase the caramel.  Caramel is special and shouldn't be competing with a strong flavour like peanut butter... I know, right?
Seriously, I have a cue of ice cream recipes that I want to try out.  I'm not sure where to go first.  Coffee maybe... I don't know.  There are so many.  Maybe this one?  Either way, if you want to make peanut butter ice cream I wouldn't honestly go with this one.  I would make the other one... and if caramel sounds like the perfect addition for you then by all means go for it - add the caramel recipe below.


Peanut Butter Ice Cream with Caramel Ripple
adapted from The Kitchy Kitchen

2 cups heavy cream
2 cup milk
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
3 or 4 (I used 4 because I had an extra yolk leftover from something else that I forgot about until the last minute so I threw it in)
3/4 cup regular peanut butter
4 tbsp clear, runny honey (if you use honey infused peanut butter  - like I even knew that existed - then decrease the amount to 2 tbsp)
1 tsp sea salt
1 tsp vanilla

Caramel:

1 cup sugar
4 oz butter
3/4 cup heavy cream
1 tsp vanilla

Using a heavy bottomed saucepan heat the cream, milk and sugar until the sugar is melted and the mixture is just under a boil.  Turn the heat down to low.
Mix together the egg yolks and set aside.  Add in a little of the heated cream/milk to the egg yolk bowl, stirring  constantly.  Once the cream/milk has warmed the yolks then add the whole bowl back into the saucepan.  Heat again over medium heat until the mixture reaches about 170 degrees F or is thick enough to do the finger test successfully.
Remove from the heat and add in the peanut butter, honey, salt and vanilla.  Stir until everything is well blended.  Run the mixture through a seive.
Cover the mixture with plastic wrap, placing the wrap right onto the custard so that it won't form a crust on the top.  Refridgerate at least 3 hours but overnight is best - the mixture needs to be completely cooled.
Churn in an ice cream maker as per normal.
Layer the churned ice cream and the cooled caramel (directions below) alternately beginning with a little caramel on the bottom of the container.
Freeze... and then serve.

Caramel:
Heat the sugar in a heavy bottomed sauce pan over med. heat until the sugar liquifies and turns brown but doesn't get burnt (like mine did) - as soon as it starts turning colour you could try turning the heat down significantly to prevent the burning.  Let it turn med/dark brown (it will get dark and burnt very fast so watch it carefully)
Remove from the heat and add in the butter (the stuff will bubble a lot so be prepared).  Mix well.
Add in the cream and vanilla and mix well.
Cool.

I have about 3 different kinds of posts:

1.  The post that's actually about the food that I'm making.  It joyfully conveys a story about the food or the preparation of the food and then gives you the recipe.  It also contains beautiful, creative and interesting photos of said food.  These are the posts that would get me on some fancy magazines 'Best Blog Award' list or whatever.
2.  The post that's about food... eventually.  The reader has to wade through some tangent or other that I'm going on and on about.  The reader is probably wondering if my meds are off or if I'm going through some sort of crisis.
3.  The post that has absolutely nothing to do with food.  No beautiful food picture.  No interesting story.  No recipe at the end.  This is just a 'I think that you probably should know this about me even though you don't give a rats ass' kind of post.  Usually my meds are off or I've not slept for about 30 hrs.

I'm sure that there are a few variations on the themes above but I think it's fair to generalize that this pretty much covers the spectrum.  I wonder if other food bloggers have the same kinds of 'post issues'.  Do they check their stats obsessively?  Do they find themselves wanting to use their blog as a place to vent all of their ideas/opinions/crazy?  Here's a post that you won't be seeing from me:  The Salad Post.
I'm getting more than a little distressed about all the FREAKIN' salad posts out there right now.  Look, I know it's summer.  I know it's effing hot.  I know that nobody wants to cook in the summer.  But I don't find myself inspired by the salad post.  It's worse than my tangential rant post.  It's worse than the 'I'm-freakin'-perfect-and-take-all-my-perfect-food-shots-in-perfect-light-with-perfect-props' post.  Like I've said before, it's not that I don't like you or your blog but I just can't do the salad post thing.  Nothing personal.


I just can't bring myself to do it.  I almost wish I could.  I wish I could tell you that the salad leaves that I've dumped onto my plate (or a trough if you're me) are inspiring.  That the incredibly fresh veggies that I plopped on top of that are changing my life.  That I came up with this divinely inspired dressing that is going to make Sauveur call me up today and offer me their entire company.  Whatever, it's salad.

So, I decided for this post that I would do my best to mix all 3 of my styles together.

I'll leave you to figure out which paragraphs fit into which post examples.

That's mint hiding in there.

I've got a garden full of herbs.  Well not full but there are a lot of herbs.  I never get to using all of it.  It just grows and I looks at it.  Occasionally I cut it and put it in something but most of the time it grows and then it stops growing because snow falls on it.  Well... that's not gonna happen this year bitches.  My Mom-in-law (and a lot of other West Indians - props to all of you) makes this awesome crap called 'Green Seasoning'.  Green Seasoning is basically herbs thrown into a blender with garlic, maybe lemon juice or a little vinegar, definitely salt and sometimes even a little scotch bonnet pepper for good measure.   You grind up the lot, put it in a jar and then you've got this badass stuff for anything - seasoning meat (oh yes), adding to sauce (definitely) or (if you are me) putting in just about anything you are making instead of chopping up a little handful of herbs each time you need them.  It's like the herb equivalent of curry paste.
I cut a boat load today.
I removed the stems.
I put all the leaves in a blender.
I added about a head of garlic.
I blended.
I put them into freezer bags and...
I froze it for the winter.
Aren't I just the smartest?


Wanda's Version of Green Seasoning
makes about 5 cups

8 - 9 cups (it's pretty forgiving though) mixed fresh herbs (ones that work well: basil, oregano, parsley, chives, mint, cilantro - basically anything)
1/2 cup water (more if necessary)
2 tbsp salt
8 large cloves garlic (more if they're small cloves), coarsely chopped

Remove the leaves from the herbs.
Place them all in a blender.
Add the water.
Add the salt and the cloves.
Blend until liquified (you may need to do it in batches to make sure that it's all a similar texture)
Pour into freezer bags (about 3 cups or so in each bag)
Keep some in a jar in the fridge and use for whatever strikes your fancy.  Pull the rest out of the freezer as needed.
Let Wanda know if you do it and what you decide to use it for... this is very important.

I recently posted this as my status on facebook:  'Wanda Thorne is not the sum of her purchases'

We've been hearing a lot over the last year or so in Toronto about how we are 'tax-payers' in our city or how we are 'consumers' in our city.  I'm not interested in being a part of something where I only matter in as much as I spend or don't spend.  I say B.S.  I am a citizen and not a consumer.

Recently I went to a big grocery store.  You know the ones.  Big parking lot.  Big carts.  So many rows of stuff that I have to read the sign hanging at the beginning of each row to know what's down there.  So many freezers that you get cold standing in the freezer aisle.  A live band playing upstairs... having an upstairs.
I usually get my grocery shopping done either by the food box or small Mom and Pop kinda places.  So this was... well, it's been a while.  I was a bit overwhelmed.  I had a short list but a specific one and even with all those rows of crap they didn't have exactly what I was looking for.  What amazed me about it was that it took a long time.  Dare I say it even.... it wasn't convenient.  It's like being at Wonderland or Disney World.  It's this little world that exists in and of itself, disconnected from the world outside.  I didn't know what time it was anymore.  There was so much meat that I got confused and just walked away.  It was a bubble and I felt like I got sucked into it and had to get out quick.  Yeah, I started to get a little weirded out.   Most people though were sauntering through, had kids with them, were listening to music... it was like an excursion.  It's not an excursion that I want to have on a regular basis.
I guess that's how it is most of the time now.  Shopping Malls are full... always.  With people who are walking around.  Are they buying things?  Are they there to get something specific and go?  Is the simple act of walking around these places just continuing to feed this message that we are what we consume?  Don't get me wrong, I don't think that shopping is evil.  We all need to shop.  But what I buy, where I buy it and when, those things do not define who I am.  I am not going to let a marketing firm or an advertising agency inform how I live my life.  When I am 'bored' shopping or going to the Mall is not the first thing that I want to do.
If I think of all that stuff that my great grand-parents had to do in a day and all of the machinery that we have now that let's us off the hook all in the name of 'efficiency and having more time' then I'm staggered and a little embarassed that we fill so much of it with buying stuff.
As a side note, I've been thinking a lot about this article lately.  I saw it on one of my fave blogs and I know that the writer is pretty out there - yeah, I'm well aware of his reputation - but I'm starting to think that maybe what we need is more of the 'kinda out there' because just kinda doing it at home and not being 'out there' is not working....


My neighbours gave me a *&%t load of rhubarb.   My head's not really around rhubarb right now but it came from their parents garden.  I'm not gonna say no.  So, I found some other fruit in my freezer and made this stuff.  Sauce for whatever you'd like.  I'd say vanilla ice cream is at the top of my list but I'm not about to tell you what to do with it.  Just try it.  It's good... really good.... and share some of it with friends.

July is seriously birthday month in our house.  Between friends and family I swear we've got about 10 birthdays during the month.  My love letter idea seems to have worked and my 'Dear Heat' has relented at least enough for me to bake just a little.
Admittedly, when it comes to actual food (you know that stuff that gives your body the crap it needs to survive and not just sugar) I'm totally and completely uninspired right now.  I'd much rather be making ice cream or.... cake.  Weird.
Cakes has been up and down for me over the last year or so.  I've been finding that some are just plain gross (i.e.  too sweet, too dense, too wet... gross) and I'm feeling a little hesitant and even anxious to just go out there and try something new these days.  I saw this cake and thought it sounded too good to be true.  Here's the thing... it's that good.
Yup.  That's right,  I looked my anxiety square in the eye and went ahead and made the cake.


So, let's just talk about birthdays for a while.  I'm the birthday Queen when it's my birthday.  I'd seriously take the day off if I could.  I start thinking about what I want and what I want to do months before the actual date.  I'm realising though that I've got a complete double standard.  I don't do well with other people's birthdays.  I'm really bad at doing the whole gift thing.  I don't enjoy it.  I don't know what to get.  I agonize over whether it's the right thing or not.  I wonder if they're just going to hate it.  Shopping is generally not my thing so... I'm not the greatest friend to have if you want elaborate, crazy crap for your birthday.
What I will do is make stuff for you though.  You'll probably get a cake (if you ask for one or happen to let slip what your fave is).  You'll get some homemade jam or rhubarb sauce (coming soon).  You might even get some cookies too.  My BFF requested bread... so I'm making her bread... and vanilla cupcakes. In fact, I'll make pretty much whatever you request.  You might also get a magazine or something totally lame that I saw and randomly thought of you.  Yeah, it's pretty wacked.


I made the awesome looking vanilla cake into a rainbow/marble thing that was pretty cool.  We all thought that the whole thing was seriously beyond.  The whole thing became like an art project for Kid #1 and #2 - getting the colour just right, mixing it and then blobbing it into the pans.  All in all, great cake, great texture, great colours and a great birthday.


Rainbow Birthday Cake
adapted from Sweetapolita
makes one 2 layer cake

6 large egg whites (approx. 6 oz) at room temp.
1 cup milk
2 1/4 tsp vanilla
2 1/4 cups sifted cake flour
1 3/4 cup sugar
1 tbsp + 1 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp salt
12 tbsp (6 oz) unsalted butter at room temp and cut into cubes (I didn't really do that part though)
yellow, blue and pink (or red) food colouring PASTE  (i.e. not the liquid stuff)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Grease and flour (use parchment as well if you like) two round 8 inch cake pans.
In a bowl combine the egg whites, 1/4 cup of the milk and the vanilla.  Set aside
In a larger bowl combine the dry ingredients and mix together well.  Add in the butter and 3/4 cup of milk (I used a hand mixer here) and mix for a couple of minutes.
Add in the egg mixture in 3 batches mixing for about 20 seconds after each addition.
Divide the batter into 4 bowls (I filled the white bowl with a little more of the batter).  Mix a little bit of the paste into each bowl - NOTE:  it won't take much to get a vivid colour so start small, I use the tip of a chop stick - until you get the desired colour.
Plop the batters into the prepared pans.  I kept my plops all separate and then used a chop stick to swirl them just a little bit.
Bake for about 25 minutes or until a tester comes out clean.
Cool in the pan for about 10 minutes and then remove to a cooling rack.   Place them so that the tops are up.  Cool completely.

Whipped Vanilla Bean Icing

13 oz unsalted butter at room temperature and cut into cubes (whatever)
3 cups sifted icing sugar
3 tbsp milk
1 vanilla bean scraped
1 tsp vanilla
pinch of salt (I forgot that bit)

Using a mixer whip the butter for quite a while, until it's pale and creamy.
Add all remaining ingredients and mix low for a minute and then step it up a bit.  Keep mixing until the icing is light, fluffy and creamy.
Use as quickly as possible.
Frost the cake by starting with a thin layer of frosting over both layers.  Chill for about 30 minutes until it sets.  Then frost the cake as you normally would.  This will prevent any crumbling from happening (Nice trick, eh?).
Store at room temp for up to 2 days, fridge for 5 days.

Dear Heat,
I love you.  You know I do.  I need you in my life everyday, all the time.  I love how you envelope my body and I feel hugged and loved by you.
However, I also love to cook.  And I don't love air conditioning.  My kids (and neighbours) are begging me to bake for them.  I would love to oblige but I just can't bring myself to do it because you are distracting me with you awesome beautiful temperatures.  You see I love them too and it hurts me to see them in need (I know, right)
So I'm asking you from the depths of my love for you to please turn the temperature down just a little.  For me.  For your love... and her family and friends.
Here is a big kiss from me.... SMACK!
sincerely
w

p.s.  Thanks for the great tomatoes and beans this year... you're the best.