Things I've learned from being a musician:
1.  The gifts you are born with only take you so far.  Hard work and perseverance take you the distance.  Every single time.
2.  Practice is a waste of time if your hearts not in it.  That doesn't mean don't bother, it means collect yourself and get some work done.  Discipline in the deepest way.
3.  It's not getting out there into the 'real world' that's hard.  It's getting off your ass and swallowing your own fears... that's the hardest.  And you don't do that just once, you do it over and over and over.


Sure I could have and probably would have learned those same lessons being a history major or in engineering... but I'm a musician.  I've been one all my life.
All my early music memories are from church.  My first music disaster at the ripe old age of about 6 when I pushed the organ peddle too hard during the offertory and woke the ENTIRE church.  I cried.  My Dad hugged me afterwards and gave me a candy to suck on.
My first singing adventure when during my Sunday School solo my Dad sat at the back of the church and smiled at my whilst simultaneously dropping his denture.  I could never quite figure out why my Dad wanted to make me laugh while I was singing.
I hated having to learn to sing harmonies.  My Mom taught me very early in life so that I could do trio's with her and my Dad.  Now I have a good ear.
Singing and playing in Festivals and doing exams.  Jeez - it never stopped.
I'm still doing it.  Still singing, playing, teaching, passing it on to my own kids, listening to everything I can get my hands on, living music.  Music got me into biking and running oddly enough.  Biking, because I used my bike at university to get around instead of the subway... I was broke.  Running, because practice taught me that something hard could eventually be overcome and even fun.  The biggest thing that music has given me though is my sense of self.  I'm not sure how in a school of neurotic and insecure singers I found myself but I did.  It's taught me to roll with change and to look at my own weaknesses.  Crying in a practice room because I didn't want to do that audition and then going out there and doing it anyway (and sucking BTW) taught me that I can do it and still be me afterwards AND I can always get better (and I did).  When I think about how much fear drives our culture and our 'selves' I feel very thankful for that.
I had a conversation recently with a friend and we were talking about positive and negative experiences in our lives.  About how hard the hard stuff really can be.  What I ended up blurting out was that it's the hard stuff that's given me more and taught me more deeply than the easy stuff or even the happy stuff.  In fact, it's made me appreciate the good times even more.  I think it's partly because it makes us feel so deeply.  It's also made me way more comfortable with making hard decisions that I know are the right thing... even though they're hard.  For all that I'm thankful.  Very thankful.


I'm also deeply thankful for this bread.  And deeply satisfied.  I needed this bread.  After the slew of sweets that I found lacking for me this bread was just what the doctor ordered.  I've already eaten two pieces and it just came out of the oven a little while ago.  No too sweet.  A perfect crumb and a texture hefty enough to stand up to a good cup of tea... before I go and practice.



Sweet Squash Bread adapted from 'Simply in Season'
makes 1 loaf

1 cup all purpose flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tsp baking soda
3/4 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
pinch each of ginger, nutmeg and cloves

1 1/4 cup squash puree (I used some frozen butternut squash puree from my freezer)
2 eggs
1/3 cup oil
streusel topping (optional)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Grease and flour a loaf pan.  I have two loaf pan sizes but I don't know what the measurements are for them.  For this recipe I used the smaller of the two pans.
Combine the flour, whole wheat flour, sugar, brown sugar, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg and cloves together in a bowl.  Set aside.
In another bowl combine the squash puree, eggs and oil.  Mix well.
Add the squash mixture to the flour mixture and stir until combined.
Pour the batter into the prepared loaf pan.  Sprinkle with the streusel topping (if you want).  Bake for about 50 minutes or until a cake tester comes out clean.
Cool in the pan for about 10 minutes before removing to cool completely.

Oh Jeez - me and my soup again.  It's an addiction I think.  I need counselling.  I need rehab.  I need SUMMER.

Peeps, meet my new friend 'Jerusalem Artichoke'.
Jerusalem Artichoke, meet all my reader Peeps.

You'll all become best friends too.  I know it.
You might have heard of these little tubers before.  Possibly under the alias: Sunchoke.  My new friend will happily answer to both.
Pretty much until yesterday I had no clue what the label 'Jerusalem Artichoke' or it's alias meant in real terms.  What the thing was.  What it looked like and certainly no idea what to do with it.
I learned yesterday - thanks to the genius of this thing called the internet - that this weird looking (sorry new friend but if this friendship is going to last then we gotta be real here) little tuber thingy was pretty damn sweet when cooked.
It can be roasted.
It can be braised.
It can be gently and lovingly cooked in some broth until it's all soft and blendable and then made into a soup which blows your socks off.
I choose the soup.


Not being one to know my limits, I threw in some freshly roasted cauliflower and turned the whole thing into a bit of sweet mess but it was a tasty sweet mess and no one complained.  Just make your roasted cauliflower pieces a little more bite sized... trust me on that one.


The pictures of the soup bite.  No pun intended.  I mean they blow chunks.  HARD.
I'm not going to go on about it but this winter/no light/ B.S.  needs to stop soon.  I had to take the pictures at night (which occurs here at the ungodly hour of 5:45 or so when it's cloudy... there, I said I wouldn't go on about it) because I did.  Don't let the sucky pictures deter you from a date with my new friend.


Jerusalem Artichoke Soup with Roasted Cauliflower (optional) adapted from 'Green Market Recipes'
makes about 6 cups.

1 large leek, sliced thin (about 1 1/2 cups)
3 cups (about 2 - 3 lbs) jerusalem artichokes
4 tbsp butter
4 cups chicken or vegetable broth (add a boullion cube if it's a weak broth)
1/2 cup heavy cream
3/4 cup milk
1 1/2 tsp salt
3 - 4 cups roasted cauliflower broken into med/small pieces (roast the cauliflower by tossing the florets in oil, placing on a baking sheet and baking at 350 for 35 - 40 min)

Peel the jerusalem artichokes and place in a pot of water with 1 1/2 tbsp vinegar if you are not going to be using them right away.  Slice them very thin.
Heat a large soup pot over medium heat.  Melt the butter in the pot.  Turn the heat down just a bit and add in the sliced leeks and the jerusalem artichokes.  Cook together for 7 - 10 minutes.  The veggies should be just a little golden and the leeks will be getting quite wilted.  Add in just enough broth to cover the veggies.  Turn the heat down to low and cover.  Simmer at low heat for about 1 hr.
Once the jerusalem are very soft then pour the whole pot into a blender and puree until smooth and creamy.  Add back to the pot and keep the heat low.
Add the rest of the broth, the cream and the milk.
Add the salt (and a little bit of pepper and pepper sauce if you're so inclined).
Add the cauliflower.
check the tastes and adjust if necessary.
Taste your new friend.

Today I have prepared for you some random ramblings that you might find slightly interesting.  However, due to the vast number of 'random ramblings' that I've been writing though I think that I might just be pushing it a bit to state that you might be interested.  That said,

Just shortly after I finished my post about connecting and needing people and all that crap I spied this article.  Weird.  Coincidence?  See - you can get sick from insolation.
Then my friend flew in from Halifax and she, KT and I had a fabulous night out together.  You know the kind of night when you have really stupid conversations about Charlie's Angels and which one of you is Lucy Liu and which one is Cameron Diaz and which on is Drew Barrymore (which apparently is exactly what I am).  Those nights when you flirt shamelessly with the waiter and giggle about it afterwards.  Those nights when you're so thankful that you have friends you can then flop out on the couch with and be a total bum.  Awesome.


I have a confession to make.  Here it goes.  I didn't watch the Oscars last night.  I didn't even watch the red carpet.  I forgot.  Clean forgot.  Then when I remembered I didn't care.  What does that say about me?  I had a friend over instead and we talked... around the table.  We ate food and talked.  Now to be honest over the last few years I've been finding all these awards things a little tiresome.  It feels disingenuous and
self congratulatory.  I appreciate good movies and great acting, don't get me wrong.  But the thought of spending an evening watching them all award each other just doesn't turn me on anymore.  I don't know if it ever did.  So in the spirit of taking my own advice I spent time with a friend instead.


Now of course I had to feed my friend.  Being Sunday I wasn't going to go all crazy or anything.  Plus, it's winter and stews and soups seem to be what I'm craving these days.  In the end I rolled out a kicking chili and then fixed up these rolls to go along with it.  Please be impressed with how easily I'm churning out the yeast recipes these days.


Yeah, Yeast and I are basically best friends these days.  You know, sharing songs, giggling about guys, discussing hops.  I'm on, I'm jazzed and it's awesome.  Homemade chili and buns to boot.  Hmmm - I'm feeling some kick-ass sloppy joes in my future.


Easy Yeast Rolls adapted from Taste of Home Magazine.
makes about 12 - 15 med/large buns

2 cup all purpose or bread flour
1 cup whole wheat or whole wheat bread flour
2 tsp salt
2 tsp dried dill
1 cup + 2 tbsp lukewarm water
2 1/4 tsp dry yeast
1/4 cup sugar
1 egg
1/8 cup melted butter

Combine the lukewarm water with the yeast and half of the sugar.  Mix and set in a draft free place to proof for 10 minutes.
Combine the flours, salt and dill together and set aside.
Once the yeast has proofed add in the rest of the sugar, the egg and the butter.  Mix well.
Add the yeast mixture to the flour.  Mix until it forms a dough ball.
Place the ball onto a lightly floured surface and knead for about 6 - 8 minutes (add a little extra flour if needed).  The dough should be smooth and silky.
Place the dough in a lightly butter bowl, cover with a clean cloth and set in a draft free place for about 1 hr or until doubled.
Remove the dough from the bowl.  Punch down and then divide into 10 - 12 balls.  Rolls each ball out, using your hands, into a long tube shape.  Tie each into a bow shape and set on a lightly greased or parchment covered baking sheet.  Cover with cloth again and let rise for another 30 - 35 minutes or until almost doubled.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Bake the buns for about 15 - 20 minutes or until golden brown.

I live in the city.  It's a choice.  I love being in the city, it's the right place for us at the moment.  Subway is a few minutes walk away.  Libraries, hospitals and food are within walking distance.  The best thing is the access to arts events that we regularly indulge in...  However, I feel the call of the wild sometimes and the need for the quiet of trees, wind and birds.
One of the great things about Canadian cities is that 'country' is never far.  So often when I take longer runs or we all need to get out and go somewhere that's not a store this is the place that we go... Taylor Creek Park.  It runs in the Don Valley here in Toronto and it's wonderful.  There are lots of other places in Toronto as well - High Park is the first one that comes to mind.  We can find ourselves at Taylor Creek in a matter of minutes.


Family Day found us down there milling around and, of course taking some pictures.  It hasn't exactly been a Winter Wonderland this year but there is beauty nonetheless.

Life Lesson this week:

I have been watching someone whom I'm around quite a bit flounder.  It's difficult to watch and frustrating when there is nothing that you can do to help.  Sure they're young and they're going to be fine but I've learned some valuable lessons watching things unfold despite my frustration.
The first lesson that I learned was that people tend to do one of two things when confronted with a problem, especially one which makes them feel insecure.  People seem to either reach out to those around them who can help them or they retreat - probably out of sheer terror.  This lesson was an important one for me because I have typically fallen into the 'retreat' category.  Watching someone else do what I might have done not so long ago was like an epiphany.  I realized that this person wasn't helping themselves or the situation by retreating.  They would have learned so much more and gained so much valuable insight and tools by looking to the people around them.  Most people are willing to help and many will go above and beyond if they see you are motivated.  Good lesson Wanda.  I have decided that I need to change and become the first kind of person.
The second lesson is one that I've only recently articulated to myself.  That lesson is (boy this sounds dumb) that we don't live in isolation.  We live with people and around people almost all the time.  Aside from those well needed retreats that we all crave, this being around people thing is pretty good for us.  It's great in fact.  Rubbing shoulders with people who have different opinions and ideas than I do, different struggles, different religions, different backgrounds... it's amazing.  It helps us be better people.  Connecting with the people around me (love them or hate them - let's face it) makes me AND them a better person.  Huge lesson for me.  Realizing that I need these situations.  This is life and this is a necessary part of life.  As necessary as food and water.  Without feeling connected to people and a community I would shrivel up and die.  The crappy situations are just as if not more important than the good ones.  I've done more learning about myself in the last year than I have in a long time... thanks crappy situation.


Now onto recipe:
I was perfectly ready to hate these squares.  I was really waffling about them.  I was looking at  cherry swirl muffins - sounded too boring though.  I thought about cherry pound cake - but the pound of everything can be kinda off putting.  I discovered that there are tons of cherry square recipes floating around in cyber space and spent a significant portion of time checking  some of them out.  I just couldn't decide.  
Then there is the whole 'sweets' thing that I've been going through.  Thinking that maybe my sweet tooth is ebbing.  The thought of something cheesecakey or super-sweet-topping-y didn't turn my crank.  I wanted something that I would be able to take to work and feel almost good about eating.  You know, not to feel that I've just make myself sick eating this overly sweet crap.  So, at the end of the day (quite literally - which will explain some of the whack pictures), I slapped together a couple of different recipes and then changed it again from there.  I was afraid it would turn out like total crap and that I would hate it and have to bake something else for the week.   I didn't though.  I loved it.  These were amazing.  Connecting - it's all about connecting.




Cherry Squares adapted from 'Two Old Crabs' and 'Bake or Break'
makes one 9x13 pan of squares

Bottom Layer

1 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
2 cups sugar
3 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla

Filling:
1 1/2 cups cherries (I used canned cherries and drained them)
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 tbsp flour
2 tbsp sour cream
grated zest of 1 lemon

Streusel Topping: you can also check it here.
3 parts flour (eg. 1 cup)
1 part sugar (eg. 1/3 cup)
2 parts cold unsalted butter, cubed (eg. 2/3 cup)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Grease or butter a 9x13 inch pan and set aside.
In a large bowl (or mixer bowl) combine butter and sugar and beat until fluffy and creamy.  Add in the flour and continue to beat until it's all mixed together.  Add the salt and the vanilla and mix.  Spoon the batter into the greased baking pan and spread evenly.  Set aside.
Filling:
Combine the cherries, sugar, flour, sour cream and lemon zest together.  Spread over the batter and press down slightly.
Combine all the ingredients for the streusel topping using two forks or a pastry cutter - until the mixture looks like crumbs - and sprinkle about 1/4 cup of it over the top of the cherries.
Bake for about 40 minutes or until the top is golden and the it feels squidgy when you press on it.
Remove from oven and cool for about 10 minutes before cutting.

I always seem to have this holiday thing upside down, backwards... just plain wrong.  I post bread on Valentines day.  I post crackers and brussel sprouts over Christmas, not a roast turkey or ham in sight.  And now, for shrove Tuesday I post... chowder (?)
I had to post this.  There I was just last week spouting off about how much this soup changed my life (and, well, it did) and now, this week, it seems so long ago.  Away in the distance.  A far off memory.  Why, you ask?  Because then I tried this soup.  Oh my... this soup.


The soup itself was born out of my continued commitment to go through the veggies that I froze during last summer's bounty.  I'm not someone who looks to fill their larder or their freezer (such as it is) and then watch the things sit their gathering dust feeling smug with myself for doing such a great job.  I want to see that I use it up.  Empty it out.  I want nothing left by May or so... just in time to start really appreciating the fresh stuff that should start rolling in.  Besides, I want to see what we go through so we can gage what amounts were just right (Green tomato and tomatillo salsa), what amounts were too much (canned pears) and what amounts were not enough (tomato and also -gulp- beet pickle). So the jars in the cold room are slowly dwindling down and the piles in my freezer are beginning to diminish and I'm feeling smug with myself.


Not to be overlooked was the fact that I was making this bread and we all know that soup with fresh bread is pretty much one of the best combinations we can put in our mouths.
In a perfect world I would have loved this to be a seafood chowder but I'm boycotting seafood right now so it was out of the question for me.  However, this turned out so well and showcased the veggies so well that I think seafood might have been a bit much anyway.  I put 2 rashers of bacon into this puppy but if you are vegetarian and it's 2 measly slices of bacon holding you back from experiencing the earth shaking bliss that is this soup, then by all means leave it out.  You must.
Admittedly, I didn't make this soup on shrove Tuesday but I will be eating it on shrove Tuesday.  I made waffles on Friday, does that count for pancake day?  Whateve's.  I'm happy with my soup.  (Just for the record, I am officially breaking 2012 resolution #1 and am posting with kids around AND after having had so little sleep it's really quite ridiculous to even refer to it as sleep.  Let's see what this post looks like after I've had a good nights sleep - Oh Jeez)


Corn/Vegetable Chowder
adapted from Naparima Girls Diamond Jubilee Cookbook and Family Bites
makes about 5 - 6 cups of soup

1 med/lg leek, thinly sliced
2 med/sm carrot, diced
2 med/sm ribs celery, diced
1 cup potato, cubed
2 slices bacon, diced


2 cups broth
1 cup milk (could make it 1 1/4 easily)
3/4 cup cream
1 tbsp dill
1 tbsp thyme
1 1/2 tsp salt
pepper to taste
1 tsp pepper sauce or cayenne (optional but it really adds something)

Heat a heavy bottomed dutch oven or soup pot over medium heat.
Add the diced bacon and a little extra oil if necessary (I did).  Once the bacon is just starting to cook and brown then add in the leeks, carrot, celery and potato.  Turn the heat down a bit and sweat the vegetables (my newly adopted phrase for cooking the veggies but not getting them all browned and over-cooked) for about 6 minutes or so.  Once the veggies are starting to look mostly cooked then add in the corn and the green beans.  Cook for another 4 - 5 minutes.
Add in the broth, milk and cream and stir.  Turn down the soup so that it is just barely simmering and add the dill, thyme, salt, pepper and cayenne or pepper sauce.  Check the tastes and adjust as necessary.
Once the veggies are completely cooked serve immediately.

I've been sitting here thinking about what I wanted to write today.  I'm rolling around things.  Typing a sentence and then deleting.  Then I asked myself, 'If these guys were sitting here in my kitchen with me what would I talk about'.  I guess that it would depend on the person but mostly I would be all over the place, filling you in on my life, on how I'm feeling and what's going through my head.  It would probably sound pretty random.  Sometimes that's all I've got though.  Random stuff floating through my head.  So, pull up a chair, grab a cup of something warm and comforting and let's have a little convo...

1.  I saw in a post recently that the author was celebrating her sons half birthday... it took me a few minutes to process the information.  I thought it was her kids birthday and then when I read it again I really 'saw' the half part in front of the word birthday.  What's a half birthday.  How is that even a thing?

2.  Kid #2 went to a birthday party recently at this place.  It's hell.  I can't think of a better way to describe hell.  It's loud.  It's too warm.  There is lots of screaming and crying and the food sucks.  Yup.  Hell.  I actually went to a Mall just to escape it.  A MALL!

3.  I have a kindle.  When I first got the kindle I put quite a few cookbooks on it thinking that it would be perfect.  I hate it.  I hate reading recipes on a kindle.  I love reading on a kindle... but not recipes.  I've decided emphatically... no more recipe books on kindle.  Real pages only.  Something about the picture quality, the way the recipes are laid out - the page turns, recipe searches... all completely sub-par on a kindle as far as I'm concerned.

4.  I've been reading  - on my kindle - this book lately and this quote really hit my gut.  'While we are all entitled to our own opinions, we are not entitled to our own facts...'  The author is writing this in reference to the whole Christian v. Science debate.  Like I said, blew my mind.

5.  My BFF is going to be a foster parent very soon which is awesome.  It's been a long process and it's about time that something happen for them.  I'm thrilled... and scared and a little sad and jealous.  That's hard to admit (I haven't even admitted it to her yet so I think I'd better get on that) and I've only recently just realized it.  I want the very best for her and she is in this 120%.  I'm just scared and jealous that I won't have a BFF any longer... I'm such a bitch AND a baby - once again... all about ME.  KT xoxoxo

6.  Sometimes parenting sucks.  I think that when you have these babies and little kids you think it's pretty intense but it's all gonna be good and that you can balance everything and be a super-hero and all that crap.  Then they start to get older and want to do stuff and you want them to do it too and even though you always said that you hated those parents who just taxi their kids from thing to thing you find yourself wanting to do it and hating yourself all at the same time.  Screw it... I want to be a pioneer.


7.  It's family day weekend in Ontario which means Monday is a holiday.  The good news, I get an extra day to make lots of stuff and take lots of pictures.  The bad news, the food box delivery isn't happening until Wednesday this week (as opposed to the usual Monday delivery).  In my food box this week I'm getting some awesome bread... but not until Wednesday.  I need bread... NOW.  So, I'm at it again.  Not a bad thing because I was thinking about the bread I just made a few days ago and I was wanting to tweak it a little bit.  Well, just change it up a bit.  So, essentially it's the same recipe just using Red Fife flour instead of whole wheat and soaking the oats before adding them to the dough.  The result... it was cool.  Not much different from the last one.  I found that the bread didn't last well - by day 3 it was feeling stale, still usable but definitely not as fresh.  Use this one up quickly.


Red Fife Oatmeal bread adapted from King Arthur Flour
makes 1 loaf

1 cup red Fife flour (or whole wheat)
2 cups all purpose or bread flour
1 1/2 tsp salt
2 1/4 tsp active dry yeast
3 generous tbsp honey
1 1/4 cup lukewarm milk
1/4 cup milk
1 cup rolled oats

Combine the Red Fife flour, all purpose flour and salt.  Set aside.
Combine the 1/4 cup milk and the rolled oats.  Set aside.
Combine the lukewarm milk, honey and yeast.  Stir to dissolve and then set aside in a draft free place for about 10 minutes to proof (so that the yeast can activate and get all frothy and yeasty smelling).

After 10 minutes combine all the ingredients together.  Stir to form a dough ball.  Knead on a lightly floured surface for about 10 minutes.  Dough should be silky and smooth.
Place in a lightly greased bowl (stainless steel or glass/ceramic work best).  Cover with a clean cloth and place it in a draft free (slightly warm) place to rise for about 55 minutes.  It should almost double in size.
Knead it down long enough to form it into a loaf shape and place in a lightly greased loaf pan.  Cover with the cloth and let it rise again for about 75 minutes or so.  It should come up over the top of the loaf pan, forming a dome like you would expect bread to do.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Place the bread in the oven and bake for about 35 minutes or until the crust is golden brown and it sounds hollow when you knock on it.
Wait for about 15 minutes before slicing.
This will keep for about 3 days so if you aren't using all right away you might want to cut it in half and freeze the other half.