I'm feeling it deeply.  Like it's permeating from my bones and my gut.  It's an energy.  Sometimes it makes me want to cry.  Sometimes I'm so full of love that I'm not sure what to do with it all.  I've heard people say things life life is energy.  Life is movement and vibration - although death is also movement if you consider decomposition... that's morbid - and that is what I'm in right now.  Movement, both inward and outward.  It could be the Spring and sunshine and warmth.  It could be that many people close to me are experiencing some life altering situations both good and bad.  Whatever it is, I feel all warm inside and fuzzy and like reaching out and helping and hugging my friends and generally embracing life and my community.


Something opens up inside of me when I see the chives breaking the ground in the spring.  It's probably the same feeling that coaxed us from our hunter-gatherer life to an agrarian one.  Somehow I feel like I'm conquering nature and working with it all at the same time.  Definitely in this urban life that I'm living now it makes me feel more connecting with the earth and with the food that I'm eating.  Maybe my feelings of movement and change and love are all part of that ancient desire to plant as well.  Who knows... and once again, I'm over thinking.


Here is one of the 'life altering' narratives that's playing out in my KT's life right now.  She and G finally have their bundle.  They are officially foster parents and their bundle is about a week and a half old.  For those of you who've had children, you know well what those first few weeks are like.  The adjusting, the upside down schedules, the diapers and the feeling of crazy love and crazy crazy because you barely know which end is up.  One of the things that got me through the newborn stage was family and friends supplying food.  Even if it was a can of beans it was appreciated.  Definitely having entire meals brought over by my mother-in-law would almost reduce me to tears.  Realizing that you have a community of people supporting you can be just the thing to carry you through those moments when you think you just might be losing your marbles.


So, with KT and G's new life change I'm looking to do my part as much as I can and make sure that every time I show up at their house I'm carrying something edible with me.
I was scrolling through my long list of favourite blogs this morning and this bread literally screamed at me.  I also happened to find some more Red Fife flour at my favourite locavore food store and snapped it up.  So I thought that this bread would be a great opportunity to christen this years harvest season and to simultaneously send something off to help my BFF feel some love.


Red Fife, Cheddar and Chive Bread adapted from Local Kitchen
makes 1 loaf

1 cup all purpose flour
3/4 cup Red Fife flour (or whole wheat pastry)
1 tbsp baking powder
3/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp cayenne or red pepper flakes (or just plain pepper for non-heat-freaks)
3 eggs room temperature(ish)
1/3 cup milk at room temperature(ish)
1/3 cup olive oil
1/2 cup chives, chopped (I used the stuff just starting to fill up my garden)
1 generous cup cheddar, shredded

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Grease and flour a loaf pan and set aside.
In a bowl, combine both flours, baking powder, salt and cayenne together.  Stir and set aside.
In another bowl whisk the eggs until they're quite foamy and fluffy.  Add in the milk and olive oil and whisk together until everything is combined well.
Add the flour mixture to the liquid.  Mix well.  The batter will be quite thick.  Add in the chives and cheddar reserving a little of each to sprinkle onto the top.  Stir just until combined.  Scoop the batter into the loaf pan.  Spread out fairly evenly.  Sprinkle the remaining cheddar and chives onto the top of the batter.
Bake for about 35 - 40 minutes or until a cake tester comes out clean.
Let the loaf cool for a bit in the pan and then remove and slice.
Tastes best if eaten with the first 2 days of baking.

I'm sitting on the hardwood floor in my living room.  There is glass of red on the floor beside me and a 'touch of sea salt' dark chocolate bar calling me gently but persuasively.  It sounds idyllic. It should be one of those moments in life which bring me deep satisfaction... except I feel like I've been hit by a truck.  One of those big ones withe more wheels than you can count.  Not those little things that people call trucks but are really just little SUV thingy's.  Nope a big, fat, hairy tractor trailer truck.
Yep.  There it is.  I'm not even sure why exactly.


One of the bright spots in this 'short-work-week-that-feels-like-two-work-weeks' was this bread.  I've made this bread before.  Hell, I've even blogged this bread before.  This time is a little different though.  I'm using pears this time.  Those crazy canned pears that I made last fall.  Those crazy pears that I made wayyyy too much of.  Those pears that I still have 7 jars of in the cold room.  Yeah.  Those pears.  Hindsight being 20/20 I totally could have used 3 cups of pears here.  If you were using fresh fruit then 3 cups would probably be about 3 large or 4 med/small pears.  In jar units that would be about 3/4's of a jar.  It would make for a slightly more moist bread and might therefor increase the baking time.  If it meant getting through almost an entire jar of pears then it would be worth it.


Work is in an odd place for me at the moment.  It's equal parts completely exciting and awesome and absolutely frustrating.  It took a lot of years to get to the 'exciting and awesome' part of the job that I'm starting to see now.  I'm trying to figure out a way to keep the 'absolutely frustrating' part from completely tainting the other part.  I understand that every job has it's 'challenges' and I'm more than willing to accept that and work with it.  This 'challenge' is really starting to rock my core though.  It goes a little deeper for me than just something that bugs me.  I gotta figure out how to turn this around but just at the moment I'm stumped... and utterly empty.


I won't tell you how big the slice was that I took to work with me today but I will tell you that it was what got me through the day with my hair intact ie. not pulled out of my head via their roots.


Pear Bread with Streusel adapted from 'More with Less'
makes 1 loaf

1/2 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
1 cup sugar
2 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
1/3 cup sour milk or buttermilk
2 cups diced pear or apple
1/2 cup streusel (find recipe here)

Butter and flour a loaf pan.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Combine the four, baking soda and salt together in a bowl.  Set aside.
Cream together the butter and the sugar until light and fluffy.  Add in the eggs and mix until all fluffy and well combined.  Add the vanilla and mix.
Add the flour mixture and the sour milk alternately beginning and ending with flour.  Mix thoroughly.
Add in the pear and stir until mixed.
Pour the batter into the greased/floured pan and bake for about 55 - 60 minutes or until a cake tester comes out clean (I think mine took about 65 - 70 minutes this time around).

I was going to go in on a whole post about what I wish about myself.  You know, the 'I wish that I didn't smoke' or 'I wish I was a size 2'.  What I realized is that I'm kinda content with myself.  Maybe that's bad.  Maybe that's just lazy and apathetic disguised as contentment.  For now though I'm just going to go ahead and feel like it's a pretty cool thing and be proud of myself.
I think that I've spent a large portion of my life wishing that I could be like someone else but totally not being able to be that person.  Wishing I could act differently - that's a necessary adaptation sometimes though I'll grant that - and doing my best to do it.  Wishing I could believe differently and trying my best but never being able to be as truly and deeply heartfelt about certain beliefs as I wished. Generally wishing that I had a little more of this and a little less of that.  Therefor, realizing that my personal wish list (you gotta check out my 'lists' post to fully understand why I even conceive of a personal wish list) would be pretty small is, yeah, kinda cool.
It seems that age - I've got a little bit under my belt by now - has given me this ability to look backwards with a totally different kind of angle than I would've had even ten years ago.  I can see that underneath all my hand-wringing back then I was really me anyway.  I'm thankful because somehow through all that guk back there I can draw a line that's ends up with me here and now... happy with who that is.
This is a good lesson for me to absorb right now because I have Kid #1 quickly approaching an age when it's literally impossible for her not to be hungry... ever... and also when her own wish lists might start getting in her way.  Maybe my own journey through will be able to help her negotiate her own steps a little better.


I'd like to tread water here, in this place, for a little while.  Take in the scenery and breath deeply for a bit.  But I know that life doesn't always works like that and even now I can feel the ground shifting around me.  For now, like I said, I'm just going to go ahead and feel pretty cool about myself and my 'un'need for a personal wish list.


Yesterday was a day off... which I promptly filled up entirely with chores.  I made bread.  Just so you know, it really did take 1 1/2 hours for the first rise which seemed like a lot to me but the taste and crumb of this bread is well worth it.  This is by far one of the tastiest breads that I've made up to now and it toasts beautifully.  I
 did adapt it quite generously and the recipe below reflects my adaptations.  You can always check out the website for the original.


Oatmeal Bread adapted from King Arthur Flour

2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1/4 cup non-fat dry milk powder
1 1/2 tsp salt
dash of nutmeg and cinnamon
1 cup boiling water
1 cup oats
6 tbsp warm water
1 tsp sugar
2 tsp yeast
1/4 cup (a generous one) melted butter
1/4 golden syrup or molasses

Combine the flour, milk powder, salt, nutmeg and cinnamon together in a bowl and set aside.
Combine the boiling water and oats together and set aside for about 15 minutes.
Combine the warm water, sugar and yeast together.  Stir and set in a draft free place for about 10 minutes to proof (should get all bubbly and yeasty smelling and double in volume).
In the meantime butter or grease a medium sized stainless steel bowl for the dough to rise in.
Once the yeast has proofed and the oats have soaked combine all the ingredients together in a large bowl.
Mix well and once the ingredients have formed enough of a dough to stick together then start to knead.  (I did not use any additional flour to knead this bread but if you do then I would try to add as little as possible) Knead for about 7 - 8 minutes or until the dough is smooth and pliable.  It shouldn't be too sticky.
Place the dough into the greased bowl and cover with a clean cloth.  Place in a draft free spot for about 1 1/2 hours or until doubled in size.
Grease a med/small loaf pan.
Once the dough has doubled in volume then punch it down and form into a loaf/log.  Place in the greased loaf pan.  Cover with a clean cloth and place in a draft free place to rise for another hour or so.  It should be about 1 1/2 inches over the top of the loaf pan.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Bake the bread for about 30 - 35 minutes.  You should be able to knock on the bottom of the dough and it will sound hollow.  Brush a little butter on the top of the warm dough.

This was done by Kid #2... he's 5.  It's pretty cute.  We didn't see it until after it was done which is kind of a good thing because we might have tried to get him to fix it.  It's so damn adorable that I even put it on Facebook.  I never put photos on Facebook.
It's Easter today... today people, not the whole weekend.  Please keep on top of the liturgy here.  Just because it's a holiday we do not wish each other 'Happy Good Friday'.  Jeez.  Happy Easter Vigil... NEVER.


I haven't really gotten to any serious cooking or baking but it's on it's way.  Instead I went to The Hunger Games movie with Kid #1, went out for some serious connecting with KT, went for a 10k run and survived with my foot none the worse for wear (my poor body however is not exactly happy with me today), had some much needed time with D over a pint or two, spent some time with the in-laws and my own parents... and I washed my windows.  All in all not so bad for a long weekend and it's not over yet.  The weather cooperated today so I've also taken some pictures of the up and comings in my garden.


I don't know quite how this has happened but its the second year now that I've gotten parsley coming up on it's on.  I didn't think it was a perennial - I think it's a biennial - but what the hell... here it is and I'm not complaining.


You know it's spring when the chives start to poke through the brown earth and green up the place.

The scent isn't quite as strong this year but my little hyacinth's are going strong.  Another sign that spring is here to stay.

And lastly my favourite, homely rhubarb.  Just doing what it does best, forming huge leaves and hiding the gorgeous red stalk underneath.  In about a month it will be ready for me to start cutting... that should give me just enough time to get through all those damned canned pears that are still sitting in the cold room.  Happy Easter.

I now have just a few moments to breath deeply and not ponder too hard or too long about what needs to be done as soon as my feet hit the floor tomorrow morning.
For those of you who have been following me for a little while now you may have noted my penchant (nice word) for lists.  You might say that I'm addicted.  Lists are soothing.  Lists give me a sense of accomplishment.


Some of the things that have gotten me through this week are:
1. This song seems to hold no end of inspiration for me while I'm running.  It's been months now and I'm still on it hard.  It even moves me to ridiculous gestures while I'm running the streets - SAD.
2. I think that just maybe I'm starting to get this Pinterest thing.  I've gone there just to see if there is inspiration just a couple of times.  I always leave it knowing exactly why North Americans are grossly over weight.  If Pinterest is any indication as to how most of us are eating then about 90 percent of us are eating sweets or baked goods pretty much all the time.  The rest of us 10 percent seem to be consuming some kind of mexican pasta dish.  Weird.  Random.  Embarrassingly compelling.
3. The sun.  It came out to play this week.  Things warmed up to a balmy 15 degrees or so at one point.  The sun is also sticking around until about 7:45 in the evening these days.
4. The fact that by the end of this weekend I will be looking out of clean windows.
5. I have so much fun reading this blog and getting inspired by her writing style.  I can't wait to support her by purchasing her book when it comes out.

Some things that made the above list seem especially precious:
1. 4 day work weeks sound wonderful but they suck when you have to fit 5 days work into 4.
2. Monday's flat bike tire has somehow jacked up my bike and now there is something obstructing the back tire making it twice as hard to peddle.  My ass is in some serious pain. And I hate my bike right now.
3. This forever juggle that we adults do (most of us) between what we want to do and what we can accomplish in reality.
It is this last thing, this last item on my ick list that I will dwell on briefly.
I have a lot of lists and most of them are short term but there are also some mid-term and long term lists as well.  Getting a Masters Degree - Long Term.  Deconstructing my back deck area - Mid Term.  Making cookies - Short Term.  You get the idea.  My short term lists this week went out the window completely.  One thing after another crowded the lists completely out of reality.  Can't even begin to tell you what those things were at the moment but there it is.  I'm sure that you've had those weeks too and therefor you can well imagine what some of those things might have been.  I managed to squeeze this little gem in though and subsequently crossed one little tiny thing off one of my 'short term' lists.
Savoury tarts are a funny thing and to be honest I couldn't tell you why this is a tart and not a quiche save that it's made in a tart shell.  This got made because I recently acquired a tart shell and I wanted to use it.  It also came to life because I had chard.  It also exists because it's pretty easy to put together once you have the requisite ingredients (milk/eggs/cheese/veggies).  I made my own crust but I wouldn't diss you for buying a ready made instead, I would just tell you to watch how much you can pour into your crust size.


 I've got a couple more 'short term' lists on the go for this weekend and cooking is definitely a list of it's own.  I'm glad though that even in the middle of a massive juggle week it's still possible to find a way to knock a thing or two off the list without too much effort.


Chard, Leek and Chevre (goat cheese) Tart
adapted from Simply Organic

Crust (I tried this stupid, weird, Amazingly easy crust from David Lebovitz)

Filling

3 cups chard, chopped
1 cup chard stems, chopped
2 cups leeks, thinly sliced
1 cup button mushrooms (I had them and needed to use them - you could easily leave them out), quartered
3 med cloves garlic, minced
1 cup milk
5 eggs
2 tbsp italian seasoning (basil, oregano, rosemary, thyme, parsley)
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp paprika
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp pepper sauce (optional)
1 cup medium cheddar, grated
1 cup chevre

Heat a heavy bottomed saucepan over medium heat.  Once hot add in about 3 tbsp of oil or butter (might need a little bit more) and add the leeks and chard stems.  Cook together for about 5 minutes.  Turn the heat down a little and add in the garlic, chard leaves and garlic.  Cook together for another 5 minutes.  Turn off the heat and set aside.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Combine the milk and the eggs together.  Whisk until thoroughly mixed.  Add in the seasoning, salt, paprika, nutmeg and pepper sauce.
Sprinkle half of the cheddar onto the bottom of the tart crust.  Spoon the veggie mixture on top of that and spread it evenly around the tart shell.  Plot the chevre in large tbsp dollops throughout the tart.  Pour the egg mixture into the tart shell.  Sprinkle the last of the cheddar over the top.
Bake for 35 - 40 minutes or until the centre of the tart is not jiggling.
Cool for about 7 - 10 minutes before slicing.

Story of a cooking week turned upside down:
I mostly cook on Sunday or Monday.  It's a thing.  I usually have just enough time to get done what needs to get done without it being a terrible rush.  I take full advantage and do the bulk of my cooking and baking on one (or both) of those days.  This week however...
D's Mom has arrived back from her winter stint in Trinidad.  It's wonderful.  It meant that Saturday evening was the first date night that D and I have had together since, well,  a long time.  We both stared at each other a bit.  Didn't know exactly what to say.  Once we got used to not having two smaller versions of ourselves pulling, asking, tugging, complaining and generally making noise around us, we were off and running.  Wonderful night.  Went to long.  Slept in the next morning.


Sleeping in isn't a problem usually.  In fact, it's quite wonderful.  This Sunday though, I had a shower to attend.  Not one where you get wet and soapy but one where you bring a gift and somebody makes a ridiculous hat and there's lots of cooing and mimosa's.  Then we had kids to pick up.  And then it was rainy and gross and my cooking window closed for that day. No food - D made a kick ass stew.
On to Monday.  Of course there was work.  No problem.  As you know I bike to work.  Back in the fall I had this weird stint where once a week for 3 weeks in a row I blew a tire.  The same day each time.  Not the same tire.  It was totally weird.  Since then I've been biking regularly with no more tire incidents... until Monday.  I hustled out of work to find my back tire totally flat.  Dead.  Absolutely nothing remotely resembling air in that back tire.  Well that changed everything.  Just like that I was taking the TTC home, driving Kid #1 to her choir rehearsal so that I could end up back at my school to pick up my bike, dropping my bike off to get a new back tire, running back home to put this cake together, popping said cake into the oven for D to watch over, going out for a run at the end of which I stop to pick up my bike and ride it the rest of the way home.  I'm tired just writing all of that.  No proper food was made that day by me.  D made spaghetti sauce.  Somehow though in the midst of that ridiculously run on sentence you might have seen that a cake got assembled and popped into an oven.


Yep.
Here is the cake made after 2 days of weird circumstances seemed to conspire against any food being concocted at all.  It's like a miracle cake.


Tomorrow I will be cooking because I have this chard tart that is burning a hole in my pocket so to speak.  For now though I am happily munching on this pear cake - even took some to work.  If you want something sweet and icingy then this isn't your cake.  If you want something more like a loaf than a cake that will go perfectly with your morning or afternoon snack time pretty damn close to perfect then this is the cake for you.  The batter was kinda gloppy for me and I was scared that it would turn out but I absolutely love this cake.  It's just sweet enough.  It's just dense enough adn it gets better with age.  And it comes together pretty darn quickly and easily.


Pear Cake adapted from Smitten Kitchen
makes on tube pan cake

3 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp cardamom
1/4 tsp nutmeg
3/4 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
1 3/4 cups sugar
3 lg eggs
2 cups pear or apple shredded, finely chopped or even pureed
2 tsp vanilla

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Grease and flour a 10 inch tube pan.
Combine the flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, cardamom and nutmeg together in a bowl and mix.  Set aside.
Beat together the softened butter and the sugar.  Mix until light and fluffy.  Add in the eggs until the mixture is quite frothy - about 4 minutes.  Mix in the pear and vanilla.  Stir until mixed.
Add the flour mixture to the egg mixture.  Stir until combined.  Pour the batter into the prepared pan.  Bake for about 65  - 75 minutes or until a cake tester comes out clean.
Cool for about 10 minutes before removing from the cake tin to cool completely.

My turnip obsession continues.  It's like I've got some kind of masochistic streak in me.  I don't like the things much but I can't stay away from them.  I've been spending some time ('cause god knows I've got so much of that to spare right now) thinking about why turnips have become so embedded in my psyche.
Here are some of the reasons that I've come up with:
1.  It's the challenge.  They basically suck.  I am the super hero who can change all of that.  I can find a way to rescue turnips from their own suckiness.  It's like that guy you were dating because you were pretty sure that if you could just work on him for a while that your love would rescue him... yeah, that totally worked.

2.  They're big - usually.  I have to use them to 2 or 3 dishes because using a whole turnip for one dish is really just unthinkable quantities of turnip all up in your face.

3.  I feel some sort of seasonal commitment at the moment.  Maybe it won't last forever or maybe it's my new paradigm, I'm not sure yet.  Whatever it is it means that turnips are, at least for the moment, a part of my late winter world.  I've accepted it and am moving on.

4.  I feel somehow sorry for the butt-ugly turnip.  Somehow my weird-ass brain has personified this vegetable and if I don't use it I feel like I'm rejecting it.  Weird-ass brain.

I love that UK food magazines are picking up on this whole seasonal thing in a way that North American ones just simply are not.  It's cool.  I'm finding parsnips, rutabaga, squash, turnip... all that crap.  So it was in the Good Food magazine that I found this Swede Fritters recipe.  I passed it by completely the first few times I paged through the magazine.  Somehow today it just caught my eye and my imagination.  Why hadn't I thought of this before.  It makes so much sense.  Adding bacon aside, spicing the living crap out of turnips would definitely improve them right?  RIGHT.  Yes.  I've done it.


I've rescued turnips from themselves.  From their drab, frumpy little corner of the root cellar.  (Number 1 covered)  I have found a way to use up that half that was leftover from the stew last week.  (Number 2 covered)  I have found a way to use turnip on their own - just a little onion - no other vegetable.  Completely seasonal. (Number 3 covered)  I used turnip.  I no longer feel guilty about it sitting in the bottom of my fridge waiting for my pot.  (Number 4 covered)
Make these.  They really don't suck at all.  I reheated 3 for work today and they were fan-friggin-tastic without any condiments at all.  I would make these again anytime.  And they were easy.  I still don't like turnip much but I no longer feel guilty or afraid that it can't be redeemed.  If only I hadn't ordered another one.


Turnip 'Pakora' Fritters adapted from 'Good Food Magazine UK'
made about 14 med/small ones

4 cups turnip/rutabaga diced fairly evenly
3/4 cup all purpose flour
plain yogurt
whole milk
1 lg egg
1 small onion, diced
2 tsp garam masala
2 tsp curry powder (I used west indian)
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp salt
1 tsp turmeric
1/2 tsp coriander
1/4 tsp cardamom
1 tbsp sugar
1/4 tsp pepper sauce or cayenne
oil for frying

Boil the diced turnip for only 15 minutes or until just softened.  Drain and set aside.
In a bowl mix the yogurt, milk, egg and mix well.
Add in the onion, garam masala, curry powder, cumin, salt, turmeric, coriander, cardamom, sugar and cayenne.  Mix well.  Finally add in the flour and mix well until it forms a paste.
Mash the turnips but only barely.
Add the turnip to the flour mixture.  Mix well.
Heat a large frying pan over medium heat.  Add the oil of your choice - I used lard that I had rendered but you could also use coconut oil or ghee for something authentic.  Otherwise just go with what you have. - to the hot pan.  Place about 1/4 -1/3 of a cup of mixture into the hot oil and quickly form into a rough circle.  You can put as many circles in the pan as will fit.  Turn after 3 - 4 minutes on each side.  It should be golden brown and slightly crispy.  Once both sides are done remove the fritter from the pan and place on a paper towel to rack to cool and drain just a bit.
Serve all alone or with your favourite chutney or tamarind sauce.