True Story:
I had a small epiphany at work the other day.  It was a personal epiphany as opposed to a work related epiphany.  I'm not even sure that's a thing.  Sometimes I think about things other than work while at work... it's a bad habit and I'm working on it.  So, I have a colleague who loves to come to my office about 10 minutes before I'm planning to leave.  He comes in, plops himself down and sets in for a nice ole chat.  Since he's probably the sweetest person on the planet, I tell myself that it's ok.  Even though I'm super busy trying to wrap things up and get out the door so that I can pick my kid up from school.  It's ok - keep chatting.  Tell me more... I'm changing my shoes under my desk where he won't see.  I'm trying really hard not to check my phone every 15 seconds to see what the time is.  I'm working even harder to quell the rising tide of panic in my chest.  I smile back at him but I'm only thinking about how to slow down my breathing.  When he finally makes his way back to his own office, I wait to hear his door close and then bolt.  Bolt to the subway station.  It's not until I'm on the train that I finally feel calmness restored.
In speaking to another colleague about it, how conflicted I feel because he's so sweet and how weird I feel inside when it's happening, I realized something kinda cool.  When I was a kid I took skating lessons.  I loved skating and still do.  I only stopped skating lessons because when I was about ten the demands just got too intense and none of us (Mom and Dad and me) were willing to commit the kind of time and effort that it demanded.  When I started doing lessons I was about seven - still have the super cute pictures of me in my little skating suit with the top hat for my first end of year skating show.  My skating class was at a time when the zamboni was scheduled to come on after and clear the ice - or maybe the zamboni does it's thing after every class... whatever.  It was coming on.  So even though my skating class was clear across the rink, far away from the exit off the ice and my teacher was still talking and/or showing us some super cool move once I sensed movement from behind the zamboni gates I was moving.  Can't explain it really.  I wanted to yell that it was time to end, tell everybody to start getting themselves off the ice - yep, the gates are opening now, he's ready and he's coming - why is the teacher still talking - we have to go - he's started the engine now and my teacher is still telling us about our ankles(!) - ok that's it... and Wanda is backwards skating away from her class, across the rink, towards the exit.  Wanda's teacher is calling her back but she ignores it because she is getting away from that zamboni damn it.  You all can stay but I'm leaving... Wanda out.  Panic.  I was having an anxiety attack at seven.  Almost everyday at work at about the same time I have a little mini I-have-to-get-out-of-here-now anxiety attack.
And now I know.


The moral of this story is: When experiencing daily anxiety attacks (or not) it helps to make cookies. You can eat them if you choose but you don't have to (I usually don't).

BTW - this song is haunting me.



Peanut Butter, Chocolate and Sugar Cookies adapted from 'Averie Cooks'
makes about 2 dozen med/small cookies

1 cup peanut butter
3/4 cup brown sugar
1 lg egg
1 tbsp vanilla
1 tsp baking soda
4 oz dark chocolate chunks
2 oz milk chocolate chunks

Line a cookie sheet with a silicon liner or parchment and set aside.
Preheat oven to 350°F.
In a large bowl mix together the peanut butter, brown sugar, egg and vanilla until light and fluffy and no longer grainy.  I used a hand mixer for about two minutes but be careful not to over beat because then the oil will start to separate from the peanut butter... gross - not the end of the world as it won't ruin the recipe, it's just oily.
Once mixed until light and fluffy then fold in the chocolate until reasonably mixed (there should be lots of chocolate)
Spoon about 1 1/2 tbsp full into your hand and form a ball.
Place balls on cookie sheet, leaving a little space between each.
Bake for about 8 minutes or until the cookie edges are just beginning to brown.
Remove cookies carefully (they'll be gooey) and cool on wire racks.

The banana convention in my freezer is slowly but surely coming to a close.  This banana thing is starting to feel a little bit like the thanksgiving turkey episode... the never ending story.  The one difference between banana's and turkey being that with banana's you can add chocolate and/or icing.  This difference means that it will most definitely get eaten as opposed to the maybe it might get eaten but I'm not really sure.
I'm hoping that there are a few of you out there who are glad and maybe even grateful for the banana recipes.  For the rest of you (us - 'cause I'm kinda sick of them too) I would like to take a moment to explain why I do what I do here.
Sometimes (ie. almost never) I plan a recipe specifically for this blog.  The other 99% of the time what I post on this blog happens to be what I was inspired to make based on what needs to get cooked or baked or some kind of special occasion.  I guess that still makes this a food blog but not a 'special' food blog - or maybe it is.  You get what we eat.  I'm not fancying things up for the blog, sometimes we get fancy and sometimes we don't.  I like to think, in my more optimistic moments, that simple and homey is great and maybe even what people want.  They want to see what you are eating and that's why they check the blog out. In my more pessimistic moments, I feel a little depressed because I have so little time to put things for this blog together.  I wonder who eats everything that other bloggers post (every day/every other day!!) and how they find time to make it, take the pictures and write something coherent before sending it out into the big wide web world.  Sometimes getting one post out feels like I had to bank time for an entire week and even then I'm juggling lego being shoved into my face and a 13 yr old constantly asking for something that inevitably involves money and going somewhere.  So yeah, you see what we eat.  That being said, we have eaten more than banana bread and birthday cake around here - although nothing would make my kids happier.  I haven't gotten around to taking pictures (especially when it's dark by 4:45) and writing down recipes.


Back to bananas:
Now that the freezer convention has been whittled down to 4 from the previous 15 this recipe should mark the close of the banana marathon for a while at least.  I'm saying 'should' which gives me an out because you never know.  Kid #1 has completed her high school auditions and has gotten into her first choice for the music program.  This may mean that some kind of celebration is in order and the celebration may mean cake.  If there is some way to throw those last few bananas into cake then I'll go for it.  Then there is the dinner we are invited to next weekend where they said not to bring anything but who really means that?  Of course you have to bring something.  It could include wine but it could also include something involving bananas.


Double Chocolate Banana Loaf adapted from Martha Stewart
makes 1 loaf

1 2/3 cup less 3 tbsp unbleached, all purpose flour
3 tbsp dark cocoa powder
3/4 tsp salt
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
1 1/4 cup sugar
1/3 cup egg whites or two eggs, room temperature
1 tsp vanilla
3 med, overripe bananas, peeled and mashed
2 tbsp whipping cream or sour cream
5 oz dark chocolate, chopped


Preheat oven to 350°F
Grease and flour a loaf pan and set aside.
Combine the flour, cocoa powder, salt and baking powder together and set aside.
Beat together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy - about 3 minutes or so. Add in the egg and continue to beat for another 2 minutes.
Add the vanilla and banana and beat together for another minute or until everything is completely incorporated.
Fold in the cream until incorporated.
Add the flour mixture and whisk in by hand until completely incorporated together.
Fold in the chopped chocolate just until evenly distributed.
Pour the batter into the prepared pan and spread evenly.  Do a little drop onto the counter top to get out the air bubbles.
Bake for about 50 minutes or until a cake tester comes out of the middle clean.
Cool for about 15 minutes in the pan before removing to cool on a rack.

Reasons that you can thank me for not posting recently:

1.  You have been spared the 'My best posts of 2013' blog post.

2.  And also the 'My favourite posts of 2013' blog post.

3. As well as the 'Winter is so depressing that I'm having trouble functioning let alone writing a blog post' blog post.

4.  And don't forget the sucky 'Winter Cleanse because that's what we all need to do in January' blog post.

5.  Then there's the 'Here are some awesome pictures of snow because I have nothing else for you' blog post.

That's as much as I'm going to say about it... and we move on.

Audition season has begun with gusto.  Kid #2 has completed one of her two auditions for grade 9 (I could write a whole paragraph on how it's a travesty that I'm a parent of a thirteen year old and how you would probably never guess that I was the parent of a teenager as long as you didn't see her standing beside me... but I won't)  Kid #2 has completed his vocal audition (with flying colours - huge sigh of relief) and has moved on to academic testing (cue more internal hand wringing).  I have also been helping a handful of other hopefuls prepare for their auditions.  This has made January not quite a slow as I had hoped.
This means that the bananas have gone straight to the freezer once overripe and not into a cake or cookie or pancake or the like.  It also means that I've cued a bunch of things but haven't moved beyond the cue.  The good news is that I have a cue... right?  The freezer is starting to feel a little over crowded with all of the bananas getting stuffed in there.  I've been thinking that I've got to get serious about working down the numbers.


This recipe worked perfectly for me because:
 - it used up 2 bananas
 - it made enough waffles to make two kids happy on a Sunday afternoon and gave them breakfast the next day
 - it used buckwheat flour
 - it could have worked beautifully as a dessert with just a dollop of vanilla ice cream and a little bit of maple syrup

I will, of course, also make some kind of obligatory banana cake but I'm thinking something cocoa'y'.  After that though, I'm all out of ideas and it's back to the drawing board.  I think that I'll work on borrowing my way through January first though.


Banana Brown Butter Waffles adapted from 'Two Peas and their Pod'
makes 8 - 9 waffles

2/3 cup unbleached all purpose flour
2/3 cup buckwheat or whole wheat flour
1/4 cup brown sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
6 tbsp unsalted butter
1 1/3 cup milk or buttermilk
2 eggs separated
2 medium sized overripe bananas, mashed
1 tsp vanilla

Heat a heavy bottomed saucepan over med heat.  Add in the butter and turn the heat down to low.  Let the butter brown for a few minutes (and some water will cook out too).  Remove from the heat and cool to room temperature.
Combine the flours together along with the brown sugar, baking powder, salt and cinnamon.  Set aside.
Combine the milk, egg yolks, mashed banana and vanilla.  Mix well.

Start preheating the waffle iron.

Whisk or beat the egg whites until peaked and stiff but not dry.  Set aside.
Add the milk mixture to the flour mixture and mix to combine.  Add the browned butter and combine well.  Fold in the egg whites just until combined.

Spoon about 1/3 cup of the batter onto the heated waffle iron and heat to specifications until you use up all of the batter.

Christmas is behind us and in our house that means that it's birthday time.  D and I welcomed a daughter into our lives thirteen years ago on December 31st.  Thus she became 'Kid #1'.  She was a little early so we were not exactly prepared and were certainly not prepared for the prospect of a birthday falling on NYE every year.  It's kinda like celebrating a birthday on Christmas Day or Hallowe'en.  Whether you like it or not, it won't exactly be about you, people will always be busy and/or away and your birthday party will never fall on the day of your actual birthday.  Ever since it's been something that's mattered to her, we have tried to make the day about her celebration and also give her a chance to celebrate later with friends.  This year has been no exception and here is how the birthday run-down has gone:
 - Early birthday party with friends two weeks before Christmas.  Homemade pizza for 12 (Ummmm yea)
 - Early birthday gift (see below for reason)
 - Early birthday dinner b/c D had to leave a day early for a tv NYE gig.  Homemade burgers and fries at her request.
 - Birth day we go to a movie
 - After movie we go to a local restaurant to try the burgers (success... and I got some good craft beer)
 - Come home eat cake and watch D perform on national tv


Kid #1 is now officially a teenager and I haven't aged a day.  She got a big ass speaker for her phone - cause that's what you do now.  You don't wear pinstripe jeans and listen to a cassette tape on your walkman with big felts on the headphones that fall off before you even get to school.  Now she can bluetooth her music to a boom box.  D and I were regretting the decision about 12 minutes after she had gotten it and were already asking her to turn it down.  She is officially a teenager and we are officially the parents of one.

In other news:
Please watch this movie - Yes, it has subtitles and yes hollywood is doing a remake but who cares about that.  It's a fantastic movie.
I found this article very amusing and applicable
D and I finally listened to this entire album and it's really really good
I'm just going to go ahead and take this article at face value


I'm sure that you all need another birthday cake recipe like you need a hole in your head.  Maybe you really do need a hole in your head.  Such is life.  I happen to have a lot of egg whites kicking around my kitchen because I make ice cream on the regular.  If you don't make ice cream then I guess make custard or something with the yolks.


Vanilla Birthday Cake with Chocolate Buttercream icing
adapted from here and here
makes 1 two-layer cake

2 cups unbleached, all purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
1 1/2 cup sugar
6 egg whites (about 3/4 cup)
3/4 cup milk
2 tsp vanilla

Combine the flour, baking powder and salt together and set aside.
Preheat the oven to 350°F
Butter and flour two round cake tins (8 or 9 inch will work - 9 inch will produce thinner layers)
Combine the butter and sugar together.  Mix and whisk (by hand or use a mixer) until light and fluffy - about 2 minutes.
Add the vanilla and continue to beat for another minute.
Combine the egg whites and milk together whisking until incorporated (about a minute)
Continue mixing the butter mixture at low speed (or whisking by hand) and alternately add the flour and milk mixture beginning and ending with the flour.  Beat well after each addition (the batter may look a little grainy)
Pour equally into the two baking tins.
Bake for about 30 minutes or until the edges of the cake have pulled away from the sides of the tin and are turning golden.  A cake tester should come out of the centre of the cake clean.
Cool completely before removing from the cake tin.

Chocolate Buttercream Icing
makes enough for 1 two layer cake

1 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
2 1/2 cup icing sugar
1/2 cup cocoa powder
3/4 tsp espresso coffee powder
1 tsp vanilla
4 - 5 tbsp cream

Sift together the icing sugar, cocoa powder and espresso powder.
Fluff the butter using a whisk or mixer for a minute or two.
Slowly add the icing sugar, cocoa powder mixture - beating continuously at low speed.
Beat for about 2 minutes
Add the vanilla and 2 tbsp of cream.  Continue to beat.
Add enough cream to get the icing to a spreadable consistency.
Set aside to ice the cake once it has cooled completely.

I hope that you've had a wonderful Christmas if you celebrate that.  I hope that you've had a wonderful rest otherwise.  My rest is truly beginning now that all of the Christmas obligations are done.  Christmas itself was wonderful - lots of food, lots of laughs, lots of family.  Exactly what it should be I guess.  The kids are happy, we haven't had any returns to make, we had power outside of the 36 hrs that we didn't and in general we are thankful and content.  My uniform for the next week will be yoga pants and tee shirt - when I choose to change out of my pj's.
I made my traditional 'Cappuccino Flats' for the holidays which we hoard selfishly as a family because they are amazing.  I decided to make peanut butter balls with rice crispies, icing sugar and chocolate... nasty.  Nobody wanted to eat them.  Totally disgusting.  They are going in the bin and I won't be sorry about it.


Then I made these cookies.  I made them really because they are the only thing that I remember my Grandma making.  Well, she also made christmas pudding.  I can't tell you exactly what it was because I never ate it.  As a kid it sounded disgusting.  It was brown, it was steamed, it had carrot in it.  Probably contained dates and molasses too.  Either way, as a kid not even caramel sauce could entice me to eat it.  So I didn't ever eat any of it.  The honest truth is that I never ate these cookies either.  Maybe a couple.  They weren't my favourite because they didn't contain chocolate.  I don't know why kids are so hooked on chocolate.  It's weird.  I'm sure that if only she had thrown in 3 tbsp of cocoa powder I would have downed them like there was no tomorrow.  So I had a few cookies and left the rest to my brother and sister to eat.  Each year my Grandma made them.  Always at Christmas.  Sometimes she used green cherries and sometimes red - sometimes both.  They look 'festive'


So after making these cookies in honour of my Grandma and just because I felt nostalgic, I realized that I had no interest in eating them.  Seems that I'm a stickler for tradition after all.  This left me relying on the other three people living in the house. D? Nope.  He's about as interested in sweets as I am.  The kids?... ummm, where's the chocolate?  Not touching them.  I should have known.  Fortunately, I was able to take them to our Christmas dinners (we did have more than one).
As a result, I can't tell you whether the cookies taste good but they sure do look festive.


Shortbread Cookies with Cherries and Pecans adapted from my Grandma and Kuntal's Kitchen
makes about 2 dozen medium sized cookies

1 cup unsalted butter at room temperature
1/2 cup icing sugar
2 cups unbleached, all purpose flour
3/4 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla
3/4 cup maraschino cherries, quartered
1/2 cup toasted pecans, coarsely chopped

Combine the flour and salt and set aside.
In a large bowl beat or mix the butter and icing sugar until light and fluffy (I used a hand mixer here).  Add the vanilla and mix until well combined.
By hand, add the flour mixture and mix until fully incorporated.
Add the cherries and pecans and mix.
Form two logs (about 3 inches round each) cover each log with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least an hour or overnight.
Preheat oven to 350°F
Line a cookie sheet with parchment or a silicon liner
Remove the logs from the fridge.
Slice one log into about 12 cookie rounds and place on the cookie sheet - leave a little space for them to spread.
Bake for about 10 minutes or until the edges are just barely turning brown.
Remove and cool on a wire rack.

Dear Friends:
I was all set to make cookies.  I had all of my ingredients (except for the maraschino cherries which Kid #1 was going to pick up for me).

This might be an excessive amount of chocolate.  Might.

I got as far as one batch of cappuccino flats rolled and in the fridge waiting to be baked the next day. When the next day came, this happened.


We woke to an icy wonderland in which about an inch of ice covered everything and made some things (like tree branches for instance) so heavy that they broke off of their tree trunk and fell to the ground.  Often they took wires down with them.  Oops.  Then there was the lovely green lightning that we thought was beautiful but ended up being transformers blowing out.  Long story short, we had an icy wonderland to look at but no power.
We got through it of course.  In these kinds of situations you realize quickly just how many options you do truly have in an emergency.  How many friends you can count on, how family checks in with you, how your amazing kids don't complain about the cold at all and roll with the punches.  You realize that even though you're not rich, you really are.  If you thought about it long enough it might even bring a tear to your eye... but you don't think about it long enough.
36 hours later I woke up at 7a.m. to a bright light in my face and Kid #2 telling me that the power was back and that his second front tooth had finally decided to leave his head.  A Christmas Miracle.

Large, gaping hold where two front teeth used to reside.

What I've decided to do is give you Christmas cookies after Christmas because who has time to bake Christmas cookies now?  I guess they'll be New Years cookies or something.  It'll be the gift that keeps on giving.

My Wishes for you this holiday:

Please keep your teeth (unless you are 7)
Eat lots of turkey (unless you've already gotten through 18lbs of thanksgiving stuff and never want to see a turkey again.  In which case, please eat something else)
Stay warm (with friends or family - use a blanket or alcohol or both)
Enjoy a cookie or two (even if it's from a box)
Hug a few family members
Have a drink with a friend (please KT?)

This is apparently what two kids get up to with christmas tree lights if you leave to room for a minute .

Merry 'Christmas/Holiday/Fill in the Blank' to you all.
Peace and Joy

Wanda

I am typing furiously in a desperate attempt to ignore the panic that is slowly but steadily rising in my soul.  Snow.  We have snow and copious amounts of it.  It has been falling since the morning and although it is now later afternoon, has not abated.  I'm guessing 8cm so far.  D has a gig tonight out of town and I have to head with kid #2 to a concert being given by kid #1's choir.  I want to curl up in a blanket and watch a movie, allowing me to look at the falling and blowing white stuff safe and snug inside my house.  The true source of my panic however is the immediate change in lifestyle that will begin now and extend probably into the end of February - if I'm lucky.  I am watching my biking days go bye bye and I won't be running for a few days until this snow gets cleared.  Wait just a second, I need to go and breath into a paper bag.
It's not that I'm addicted but I'm addicted.  It feels good to be active.  Really really good.  It feels like I've got some control over my life and that's because it probably releases some endorphins or some kind of crap that makes me feel like everything is awesome.  Running and biking also gives me a precious few minutes all by my little lonesome.  Something that is a rare commodity for me.  When it is gone it feels like something has been stolen and I'm a little emptier for it.  The good news is that the temps are supposed to have risen above freezing in a few days so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this snow will pass if only for a little while... it is December after all.  I'm supposing that makes me some kind of grinch or something.  Who doesn't want snow at Christmas?
Speaking of Christmas... it's coming soon so I'm told.  One of my co-workers (who obviously doesn't read my blog!) asked me whether I had my turkey.  I told her that if I didn't see a turkey for an undetermined - but long - period of time that it wouldn't hurt my feelings at all.  Turkey for Christmas?  No way.  We are so sick of turkey thanks to the 18lbs of it that I can now proudly tell you, we have eaten our way through.  This recipe marked the last bag of turkey in the freezer.  Somehow we made our way through 6 bags of the stuff.  I've forgotten exactly how we whittled our way through and much of it I have chronicled here.  Truth is that even though I've marked this as 'leftover #6' this is really about number nine or ten.  Some of my leftover use-ups were really not good at all and I didn't have to heart to bother with them here.


Good news, these turkey buns didn't suck.  In fact, I'm told that they were good.  Really good.  D told me that they were amazing.  The kids didn't even care that they were turkey.  Didn't even ask.  Eight or nine or ten leftover recipes later and I have finally hit the jackpot.  Originally, I wanted to make a sweet and sour pulled pork kind of thing with the turkey but that would have required making something else to go with it.  You know a bun or noodles or whatever.  For one reason or another, I just couldn't bring myself to do it and started to concentrate intently on what a solution could be.
I made these things called beef margaritas a million years ago and posted the recipe here.  They were a huge hit and I haven't made them since.  I thought it would be worth giving them a whirl with bbq'd turkey and decided to take the leap.  Paid off.
Yay for big jumps, paper bags and no more turkey.



BBQ Turkey Buns
serves 4 - 6
makes about 10 buns

Use the dough recipe from this post

1/2 cup onion, diced
3 cloves garlic
1 stalk celery, diced
2/3 cup (about 1) red pepper, diced
1 cup mushrooms, stalks removed and diced
2 1/2 cups cooked turkey, diced
1 bouillion cube, crushed up (I used a veggie one)
3 tbsp worcestershire sauce
2 tbsp soy sauce
2 tbsp mixed herbs (parsley, marjoram, oregano, rosemary)
2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
3 heaping tbsp brown sugar
1/2 cup ketchup
1/4 cup bbq sauce
1 tbsp dijon mustard
1 1/2 tsp salt
pepper sauce (optional)


Heat a large pot or dutch oven over medium heat.
Add some oil or grease (about 1 1/2 tbsp)
Add the onion and celery.  Saute for about 3 minutes.  Add the garlic, red pepper and mushrooms.  Add another 1 1/2 tbsp of oil or grease and turn the heat down to med/low.
Cook together, stirring regularly, for about 5 minutes or until the pepper and mushrooms begin to soften and caramelize.
Add in the diced turkey and stir to mix.
Add the bouillon cube, worcestershire, soy sauce and mixed herbs.  Stir and cook together for a few minutes.
Add the apple cider vinegar and brown sugar and cook together for another 2 minutes.
Add the ketchup, bbq sauce, mustard, salt and pepper sauce.
Cook together for about 7 minutes at low heat but the mixture should still be simmering to allow it to thicken up a bit.  If it's too thick then add a couple of tbsp's of water.
Check the taste and adjust if necessary.  Set aside to cool.
Preheat the oven to 350° F.
Line a cookie sheet with parchment or a silicon liner.
Prepare the dough and then roll it out in a rectangle shape to about a 1/2 inch thickness.
Spread the meat mixture over the rectangle of dough.
Roll up the dough from long edge to long edge.
Slice the log about 1 1/2 - 2 inches thick and place each roll sideways on the baking pan leaving some room in between each roll.
Bake for about 35 minutes or until the rolls have risen and spread out and the edges have browned nicely.
Remove and cool for about 10 minutes before breaking them apart and serving.